That '70s Show Quotes
Kitty: Ohhh! You're wearing your University of Wisconsin sweatshirt!
Laurie: Yeah. Mother, I went there.
Kitty: No. You flunked out of there. You might as well wear your "University of I Wasted My Father's Money" sweatshirt! Take it off. [Laurie begins to take the sweatshirt but Kitty stops her halfway after seeing her with only a bra underneath]
Laurie: Yeah. Mother, I went there.
Kitty: No. You flunked out of there. You might as well wear your "University of I Wasted My Father's Money" sweatshirt! Take it off. [Laurie begins to take the sweatshirt but Kitty stops her halfway after seeing her with only a bra underneath]
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Kitty is driving Red, Eric, Hyde, and Fez back home after a long last-day binge. The guys are singing Wylie Hubbard's Up Against The Wall, Redneck Mother]
Kitty: Okay, you know what? Let's turn that off. [switches radio off]
Hyde: [To Red] Hey, I got Amy's phone number.
Red: Good for you, Steven.
Hyde: I hope she's still pretty tomorrow.
Kitty: Okay, you know what? Let's just turn that Redneck Mother song back on! [Gang resumes singing]
Kitty: Okay, you know what? Let's turn that off. [switches radio off]
Hyde: [To Red] Hey, I got Amy's phone number.
Red: Good for you, Steven.
Hyde: I hope she's still pretty tomorrow.
Kitty: Okay, you know what? Let's just turn that Redneck Mother song back on! [Gang resumes singing]
TV Show: That '70s Show
Kitty: Eric, you've hardly touched your breakfast.
Eric: That's because I don’t know what it is.
Kitty: Well, it's just, it's eggs and hash and some…surprises!
Eric: Mom, why aren't you eating it?
Kitty: Well, I just, I have never been a breakfast person.
Hyde: Is this rabbit?
Kitty: No!
Laurie: Mom, if Daddy gets a job, can we stop eating dog food?
Kitty: Laurie, it is not dog food. And God, I hope so.
[Red walks in dressed in a suit and tie.]
Red: So: would you hire me?
Laurie: I'd hire you, Daddy! Especially if the position was world’s best father.
Eric: That's because I don’t know what it is.
Kitty: Well, it's just, it's eggs and hash and some…surprises!
Eric: Mom, why aren't you eating it?
Kitty: Well, I just, I have never been a breakfast person.
Hyde: Is this rabbit?
Kitty: No!
Laurie: Mom, if Daddy gets a job, can we stop eating dog food?
Kitty: Laurie, it is not dog food. And God, I hope so.
[Red walks in dressed in a suit and tie.]
Red: So: would you hire me?
Laurie: I'd hire you, Daddy! Especially if the position was world’s best father.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Hyde is trying to guess what Kitty has served for breakfast.]
Hyde: Oh, I know! It's tongue!
[Kitty says nothing.]
Hyde: [Whispers to Eric] It's tongue.
Hyde: Oh, I know! It's tongue!
[Kitty says nothing.]
Hyde: [Whispers to Eric] It's tongue.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Donna and Midge are hanging out]
Donna: So ... here we are ... together... again.
Midge: Hmm, I'm just loving the time we spend together Donna. In my new book 'Our Mothers, Our Selves,' it says we're supposed to be friends. We should talk to each other and listen. Your stupid father never listens.
Donna: Is there anything in your book about not insulting my father?
Midge: Well I don't know, I've only read the first chapter. Oh, okay, no more talking about your father. So, how do you like the clogs I bought you?
Donna: They're awesome!
Midge: Good! Cause your father's an ass!
Donna: So ... here we are ... together... again.
Midge: Hmm, I'm just loving the time we spend together Donna. In my new book 'Our Mothers, Our Selves,' it says we're supposed to be friends. We should talk to each other and listen. Your stupid father never listens.
Donna: Is there anything in your book about not insulting my father?
Midge: Well I don't know, I've only read the first chapter. Oh, okay, no more talking about your father. So, how do you like the clogs I bought you?
Donna: They're awesome!
Midge: Good! Cause your father's an ass!
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Red and Kitty talk with Professor Stark, who wants to get Laurie in class again]
Red: So, what does she need to do to get back into school?
Professor Stark: Well, she'll have to work with me. Make a commitment...to school. She'll really have to buckle down.
Kitty: Hahahaha! Well what do you think Laurie, are you willing to give it a go?
Eric: Oh, huhuh, mother she's very willing. You know Dad, I just saw the most interesting thing today. In the garage.
Laurie: [thoughts] Burst into flames, burst into flames, BURST INTO FLAMES!
Eric: It was just...it was so surprising.
Hyde: Oh Eric, do tell!
Eric: I saw Laurie....
Stark: I'm in love with your daughter! [long pause; Red and Stark get up from the table and walk towards each other] Dad!
Red: That's it! Come here!! [Chases Stark out of the room]
Red: So, what does she need to do to get back into school?
Professor Stark: Well, she'll have to work with me. Make a commitment...to school. She'll really have to buckle down.
Kitty: Hahahaha! Well what do you think Laurie, are you willing to give it a go?
Eric: Oh, huhuh, mother she's very willing. You know Dad, I just saw the most interesting thing today. In the garage.
Laurie: [thoughts] Burst into flames, burst into flames, BURST INTO FLAMES!
Eric: It was just...it was so surprising.
Hyde: Oh Eric, do tell!
Eric: I saw Laurie....
Stark: I'm in love with your daughter! [long pause; Red and Stark get up from the table and walk towards each other] Dad!
Red: That's it! Come here!! [Chases Stark out of the room]
TV Show: That '70s Show
Fez: So you're telling me, if were to go to up to someone's house and say "trick or treat!" they would give me a free piece of candy?
Eric, Donna, Hyde, Kelso, and Jackie: YES!!!
Fez: Oh I don't believe you!
[Cutaway to Fez at someone's door dressed at Batman]
Fez: Trick or treat!
[Person drops an apple into Fez's bag]
Fez: An apple? Where's my candy you son of a bitch?!
[Person slams door in his face]
Eric, Donna, Hyde, Kelso, and Jackie: YES!!!
Fez: Oh I don't believe you!
[Cutaway to Fez at someone's door dressed at Batman]
Fez: Trick or treat!
[Person drops an apple into Fez's bag]
Fez: An apple? Where's my candy you son of a bitch?!
[Person slams door in his face]
TV Show: That '70s Show
Hyde: Wait a minute, Kelso are you telling me you're 18?
Kelso: Yeah. That's why I seem more mature than you guys.
Hyde: You mean you this whole time you could have been buying us beer?!
Fez: [Gasps] You bastard.
Kelso: Well, Eric ruined your life.
Hyde: And if I had a beer, I'd be getting over it right now.
Kelso: Yeah. That's why I seem more mature than you guys.
Hyde: You mean you this whole time you could have been buying us beer?!
Fez: [Gasps] You bastard.
Kelso: Well, Eric ruined your life.
Hyde: And if I had a beer, I'd be getting over it right now.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[The gang is heading to Vanstock. Kelso and Laurie are in the forward section of the van]
Kelso: So, you wanna shift?
Laurie: It's an automatic.
Kelso: I know.
Jackie: [jumps out from behind the curtain] Surprise!
Kelso: AAAAAAAHHHH!
Kelso: So, you wanna shift?
Laurie: It's an automatic.
Kelso: I know.
Jackie: [jumps out from behind the curtain] Surprise!
Kelso: AAAAAAAHHHH!
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Red fantasizes a scene in the manner of a soap opera]
Announcer: And now, another episode of Point Place.
Red: My god Kitty. What have I become?
Kitty: I don't know. You're not the man I married! And I'm not Kitty.
Red: [faces her] What are you saying?
Kitty: I am Kitty. But I am leaving you for Dr. Cloak. Or should I say, [faces camera] Eric's real father.
Red: But why?
Kitty: He has a job. What do you have, Red Forman? What do you have?
Red: [dramatically bites his fist] I've got nothing. [Kitty cries] Dear God. Will I ever work again? [puts his face in his hands, sobs, and peers through his fingers.]
[Cuts to Red sitting in the kitchen, Kitty enters]
Kitty: Penny for your thoughts.
Red: Well, one thing I'm thinkin': I've gotta stop watchin' the damn soaps.
Announcer: And now, another episode of Point Place.
Red: My god Kitty. What have I become?
Kitty: I don't know. You're not the man I married! And I'm not Kitty.
Red: [faces her] What are you saying?
Kitty: I am Kitty. But I am leaving you for Dr. Cloak. Or should I say, [faces camera] Eric's real father.
Red: But why?
Kitty: He has a job. What do you have, Red Forman? What do you have?
Red: [dramatically bites his fist] I've got nothing. [Kitty cries] Dear God. Will I ever work again? [puts his face in his hands, sobs, and peers through his fingers.]
[Cuts to Red sitting in the kitchen, Kitty enters]
Kitty: Penny for your thoughts.
Red: Well, one thing I'm thinkin': I've gotta stop watchin' the damn soaps.
TV Show: That '70s Show
Donna: How do you do that?
Eric: Do what?
Donna: You always make me feel better.
Eric: Uhm, well thank you.
Donna: I love you, Eric.
Eric: I love... cake.
Eric: Do what?
Donna: You always make me feel better.
Eric: Uhm, well thank you.
Donna: I love you, Eric.
Eric: I love... cake.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Jackie introduces a leather-jacketed Kelso to Hyde and Fez]
Jackie: Ummm...may I have your attention please?! I would like to introduce to you all the new Michael Kelso ! [applauds as Kelso runs up the driveway]
Kelso: Sooo, what do you think?! Yeah, Jackie says it makes me look like Marlon Brando in The Wild Ones. [mimics Brando voice] Yeah, I’m so Brando!
Hyde: Yeah, if Brando had a buddy named Potsie!
Kelso: What are you even saying?
Hyde: I think you know what I’m saying... [imitating Fonzie] 'EYYY!!
Kelso: Jackie, did you dress me up like the Fonz?
Jackie: No Michael, I did not dress you up like the Fonz! Although, I mean, I like the Fonz you know he’s kinda...
Kelso: Fez?! Fonz, yes or no?
Fez: Well you know me Kelso, I just want you to be happy.
Kelso: Thank you Fez!
Fez: Now, if I could just have a moment of your time...?
Kelso: Sure!
Fez: Good, yes. Okay a gang of thugs has taken over Arnold's! Help us Fonzie, you are our only hope!
Kelso: I can’t believe you guys! Here I am, as Brando as can be, and you guys can’t even see that! Well you can both just...
Hyde: Sit on it? [Kelso runs off, with Jackie following him]
Jackie: Ummm...may I have your attention please?! I would like to introduce to you all the new Michael Kelso ! [applauds as Kelso runs up the driveway]
Kelso: Sooo, what do you think?! Yeah, Jackie says it makes me look like Marlon Brando in The Wild Ones. [mimics Brando voice] Yeah, I’m so Brando!
Hyde: Yeah, if Brando had a buddy named Potsie!
Kelso: What are you even saying?
Hyde: I think you know what I’m saying... [imitating Fonzie] 'EYYY!!
Kelso: Jackie, did you dress me up like the Fonz?
Jackie: No Michael, I did not dress you up like the Fonz! Although, I mean, I like the Fonz you know he’s kinda...
Kelso: Fez?! Fonz, yes or no?
Fez: Well you know me Kelso, I just want you to be happy.
Kelso: Thank you Fez!
Fez: Now, if I could just have a moment of your time...?
Kelso: Sure!
Fez: Good, yes. Okay a gang of thugs has taken over Arnold's! Help us Fonzie, you are our only hope!
Kelso: I can’t believe you guys! Here I am, as Brando as can be, and you guys can’t even see that! Well you can both just...
Hyde: Sit on it? [Kelso runs off, with Jackie following him]
TV Show: That '70s Show
Leo: So, do you like photos, man?
Hyde: Yeah, man. Sure.
Leo: Okay, you got the job, man.
Hyde: Just like that? You don't need to interview anyone else?
Leo: No one else showed up, man.
Hyde: So, what do I do here, anyway?
Leo: Well, I don't expect a lot, man. Like, pretty much, if the hut doesn't burn down, it's been a good day. And even if it burnt down, man, it's cool, 'cause I got three or four more of these little huts somewhere. Hey, listen. If you see one of these huts, could you give me a call, man?
Hyde: Or even better, I could take a picture.
Leo: Whoa, a picture of a Photo Hut. Hey, that'd be like art or something, huh. Hey, listen, man. Hope you don't mind if I pay you in cash. I don't like big brother gettin' into my business, you dig.
Hyde: Man, keeping the government out of it. I'm so with you.
Leo: No, my big brother, man. He's always hittin' me up for money.
Hyde: Oh, 'cause you're the responsible one?
Leo: Yeah, it's my curse, man. Hey, listen. I gotta go, uh, do a thing at, uh, a place.
Hyde: Yeah, man, I hear that. So, want me to lock up when I'm done?
Leo: Lock up? Wow, that's a great idea, man. Hey, you're one of those idea men, aren't ya, man?
Hyde: Yeah, maybe some day you'll be working for me, huh.
Leo: Really? Oh, that'd be cool, man. Hey, but can I have Saturday night off? Cool!
Hyde: Yeah, man. Sure.
Leo: Okay, you got the job, man.
Hyde: Just like that? You don't need to interview anyone else?
Leo: No one else showed up, man.
Hyde: So, what do I do here, anyway?
Leo: Well, I don't expect a lot, man. Like, pretty much, if the hut doesn't burn down, it's been a good day. And even if it burnt down, man, it's cool, 'cause I got three or four more of these little huts somewhere. Hey, listen. If you see one of these huts, could you give me a call, man?
Hyde: Or even better, I could take a picture.
Leo: Whoa, a picture of a Photo Hut. Hey, that'd be like art or something, huh. Hey, listen, man. Hope you don't mind if I pay you in cash. I don't like big brother gettin' into my business, you dig.
Hyde: Man, keeping the government out of it. I'm so with you.
Leo: No, my big brother, man. He's always hittin' me up for money.
Hyde: Oh, 'cause you're the responsible one?
Leo: Yeah, it's my curse, man. Hey, listen. I gotta go, uh, do a thing at, uh, a place.
Hyde: Yeah, man, I hear that. So, want me to lock up when I'm done?
Leo: Lock up? Wow, that's a great idea, man. Hey, you're one of those idea men, aren't ya, man?
Hyde: Yeah, maybe some day you'll be working for me, huh.
Leo: Really? Oh, that'd be cool, man. Hey, but can I have Saturday night off? Cool!
TV Show: That '70s Show
Hyde: So where’s Donna, man?
Eric: Donna? Donna? Oh! You mean that girl who spent last night in my bed?
Hyde: Yeah, yeah, that’s the one.
Eric: She went home this morning.
Hyde: So? Ah? Ah? Soooo?
Eric: So let’s just say she went home a very happy woman.
Eric: Donna? Donna? Oh! You mean that girl who spent last night in my bed?
Hyde: Yeah, yeah, that’s the one.
Eric: She went home this morning.
Hyde: So? Ah? Ah? Soooo?
Eric: So let’s just say she went home a very happy woman.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Eric is being punished for "smoking." Red has him sweeping out the garage. Bob blames Eric for Donna failing English.]
Red: Well, that's kind of stupid, Bob.
Bob: Well, I guess the truth hurts.
Red: So does a swift kick in the ass.
Bob: All right, I'm going. But a swift kick in the ass is not the solution to everything, Forman!
Red: I gotta disagree, Bob!
Eric: Uh, Dad... thanks for...
Red: KEEP SWEEPING, SMOKER!
Red: Well, that's kind of stupid, Bob.
Bob: Well, I guess the truth hurts.
Red: So does a swift kick in the ass.
Bob: All right, I'm going. But a swift kick in the ass is not the solution to everything, Forman!
Red: I gotta disagree, Bob!
Eric: Uh, Dad... thanks for...
Red: KEEP SWEEPING, SMOKER!
TV Show: That '70s Show
Hyde: Forman's first suspension... I'm so proud.
Kelso: Whoa, back up. Why'd he get suspended?
Donna: Because he's stupid.
Kelso: [terrified] They can do that?
Kelso: Whoa, back up. Why'd he get suspended?
Donna: Because he's stupid.
Kelso: [terrified] They can do that?
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Red is asked to make a birthday wish on his night out with Kitty. Bob and Midge are also present, with their own dates]
Red: Riiight. Now I’m gonna eat this steak, but first, I’m gonna make a birthday wish. Here it is: I wish everyone would shut up!
Red: Riiight. Now I’m gonna eat this steak, but first, I’m gonna make a birthday wish. Here it is: I wish everyone would shut up!
TV Show: That '70s Show
Jackie: Say it.
Kelso: I do not keep secrets from you.
Jackie: Again.
Kelso: I do not keep secrets from you.
Jackie: Again.
Kelso: I do not keep secrets from you.
Fez: Aiiii SHUT UP! I am going insane! Kelso, if you want to possess a woman, this is what you need to do [takes Jackies hand] I as a mortal, am not worthy of your love, you are a goddess, and I worship you. And I dedicate every moment of my waking life to your joy...
Kelso: [takes Jackie's hand] Okay, what he said!
Jackie: Oh Michael! [kisses Michael while Fez wears Stupid Helmet and hits the table]
Kelso: I do not keep secrets from you.
Jackie: Again.
Kelso: I do not keep secrets from you.
Jackie: Again.
Kelso: I do not keep secrets from you.
Fez: Aiiii SHUT UP! I am going insane! Kelso, if you want to possess a woman, this is what you need to do [takes Jackies hand] I as a mortal, am not worthy of your love, you are a goddess, and I worship you. And I dedicate every moment of my waking life to your joy...
Kelso: [takes Jackie's hand] Okay, what he said!
Jackie: Oh Michael! [kisses Michael while Fez wears Stupid Helmet and hits the table]
TV Show: That '70s Show
Kelso: [While in the circle] But I was just amusing myself, you know? And that's the key to life, right? Never stop amusing yourself.
Fez: Unless it starts to chafe. Then you should take a week off. It's almost Tuesday, right?
Fez: Unless it starts to chafe. Then you should take a week off. It's almost Tuesday, right?
TV Show: That '70s Show
[The guys are putting in a new water heater]
Eric: [on the new water heater] This is the best water heater ever. God bless us, every one.
Red: Do you know why Tiny Tim walked with a crutch?
Eric: Because he had a smart mouth?
Red : That's right.
Eric: [on the new water heater] This is the best water heater ever. God bless us, every one.
Red: Do you know why Tiny Tim walked with a crutch?
Eric: Because he had a smart mouth?
Red : That's right.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Red has admitted getting Eric's Candy Land money stash to buy a new water heater]
Red: Okay Eric, I'm sorry I took your money...while I clothe you, and feed you, and put a roof over your head. Soooorry.
Red: Okay Eric, I'm sorry I took your money...while I clothe you, and feed you, and put a roof over your head. Soooorry.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Kelso is insisting on firing his hunting rifle while in Red's car on the way to a hunting lodge]
Kelso: I have a right to bear arms, that's in the Constitution!
Fez: Well Kelso, not everything in the Constitution makes sense.
Eric: Whoa, Fez, shut up.
Red: [overhears remark] What did you say?
Fez: Nothing.
Red: [grumbles] Foreigners...
Kelso: I have a right to bear arms, that's in the Constitution!
Fez: Well Kelso, not everything in the Constitution makes sense.
Eric: Whoa, Fez, shut up.
Red: [overhears remark] What did you say?
Fez: Nothing.
Red: [grumbles] Foreigners...
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Eric sees a deer.]
Eric: [to Red] Look at him. He's magnificent. He's the king of the forest, just like...Bambi's dad. It's beautiful.
Red: [shoots deer] Yeah, and I bet he tastes beautiful, too. [before going down to collect the deer] Oh, and just for the record, Eric, I'm the king of the forest.
Eric: [to Red] Look at him. He's magnificent. He's the king of the forest, just like...Bambi's dad. It's beautiful.
Red: [shoots deer] Yeah, and I bet he tastes beautiful, too. [before going down to collect the deer] Oh, and just for the record, Eric, I'm the king of the forest.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Kelso tries to find food in the Formans' cupboards.]
Donna: Actually, Kelso. You know what really makes you horny? Beets.
Kelso: Yeah, right.
Eric: Nah, it’s true, I saw it on 60 Minutes, man. Beet farmers with like, ten, 15 kids.
Kelso: Man, how’s come everything that’s good for you always tastes so bad? [gets can opener and tries to open can of beets] I’m trying it!
Kitty: [enters kitchen] Michael, honey, don’t eat our beets! [gets can]
Jackie: You know, Michael, Mrs. Forman’s right. You’re horny enough as it is. Sometimes, I wish you had two girlfriends. [gang looks at her]
Kelso: Oh my God, are you serious?
Jackie: What?
Kelso: Nothing!
Donna: Actually, Kelso. You know what really makes you horny? Beets.
Kelso: Yeah, right.
Eric: Nah, it’s true, I saw it on 60 Minutes, man. Beet farmers with like, ten, 15 kids.
Kelso: Man, how’s come everything that’s good for you always tastes so bad? [gets can opener and tries to open can of beets] I’m trying it!
Kitty: [enters kitchen] Michael, honey, don’t eat our beets! [gets can]
Jackie: You know, Michael, Mrs. Forman’s right. You’re horny enough as it is. Sometimes, I wish you had two girlfriends. [gang looks at her]
Kelso: Oh my God, are you serious?
Jackie: What?
Kelso: Nothing!
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Kitty awaits the outcome of Red's Price Mart supervisor interview]
Hyde: I’ll be in the basement.
Kitty: No, you sit!
Hyde: Oh, sure, when things get ugly, suddenly I’m family!
Laurie: Not to me, freak.
Hyde: You are so going to end up in porno!
Kitty: [sees a grumpy Red walk in] Hi honey! [Red walks over to the bar and begins pouring a drink]
Eric: Right to the bar. Not a good sign.
Red: What are you all looking at? Don’t you think that...Price Mart’s new supervisor deserves a drink?
Kitty: Yay!
Red: Yeah, I got it!
Eric: Hey, congratulations, Dad.
Red: Thanks, Eric. Oh, and you’re fired.
Eric: What, you can’t do that!
Red: Yes I can! You’re fired!
Eric: Hey, you know what? I’m not fired.
Red: Ok, if it’s so important to you, you’re not fired. But if your grades start to slip, you are fired! I love saying that!
Hyde: God help the poor bastards who work for you, huh?
Eric: [laughs] Wait, uh, I work for you.
Red: I know!
Hyde: I’ll be in the basement.
Kitty: No, you sit!
Hyde: Oh, sure, when things get ugly, suddenly I’m family!
Laurie: Not to me, freak.
Hyde: You are so going to end up in porno!
Kitty: [sees a grumpy Red walk in] Hi honey! [Red walks over to the bar and begins pouring a drink]
Eric: Right to the bar. Not a good sign.
Red: What are you all looking at? Don’t you think that...Price Mart’s new supervisor deserves a drink?
Kitty: Yay!
Red: Yeah, I got it!
Eric: Hey, congratulations, Dad.
Red: Thanks, Eric. Oh, and you’re fired.
Eric: What, you can’t do that!
Red: Yes I can! You’re fired!
Eric: Hey, you know what? I’m not fired.
Red: Ok, if it’s so important to you, you’re not fired. But if your grades start to slip, you are fired! I love saying that!
Hyde: God help the poor bastards who work for you, huh?
Eric: [laughs] Wait, uh, I work for you.
Red: I know!
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Red alerts Kitty about Bob wearing a toupee]
Kitty: No hair?
Red: None...well, a little.
Kitty: Well what are we talking about here Red? Is it Ed Asner bald or Charlie Brown bald?
Red: Geez Kitty, I don’t know. I barely looked.
Kitty: Ok I need a visual aid. [gets a Wooly Willy]
Red: It was so uncomfortable. I mean, a toupee is a pretty big lie, Kitty.
Kitty: Ok here, show me on Wooly Willy. [watches Red sketching] Uh huh, ok, uh huh [Red shakes the board so all the hair falls off Wooly Willy to show her the final product]
Kitty: [astonished] Really.
Kitty: No hair?
Red: None...well, a little.
Kitty: Well what are we talking about here Red? Is it Ed Asner bald or Charlie Brown bald?
Red: Geez Kitty, I don’t know. I barely looked.
Kitty: Ok I need a visual aid. [gets a Wooly Willy]
Red: It was so uncomfortable. I mean, a toupee is a pretty big lie, Kitty.
Kitty: Ok here, show me on Wooly Willy. [watches Red sketching] Uh huh, ok, uh huh [Red shakes the board so all the hair falls off Wooly Willy to show her the final product]
Kitty: [astonished] Really.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[at Jackie's dinner party, a drunk Eric serenades Donna with his own version of Hey Paula. Schoolmate Timmy is on the piano]
Eric: Hey, hey Donna, I wanna sing to you, hey hey hey Donna, no one else will ever do, I’ve waited so long for [voice cracks] school to be through, Donna, Donna, I love you [high-pitched] hey hey Donna!!
Donna: Eric, get down off there right now!
Eric: What’s the problem Donna?
Timmy: Yeah, what’s the problem Donna?
Donna: Timmy, go get your pants on or I’ll beat the crap out of you! [Timmy runs out of the room] Eric, remember when I told you to loosen up?
Eric: Oh yeah baby.
Donna: [grabs trophy Eric uses as microphone] Well, tighten up baby. When the house is on fire, the party’s over.
Eric: Well, hey, this was your idea.
Donna: Eric, I told you to loosen up, not act like a dink.
Eric: Well I’m new at this [grabs the trophy back] so sue me. [sings again] Sue, sue, sue me!! Sue me Donna!
Eric: Hey, hey Donna, I wanna sing to you, hey hey hey Donna, no one else will ever do, I’ve waited so long for [voice cracks] school to be through, Donna, Donna, I love you [high-pitched] hey hey Donna!!
Donna: Eric, get down off there right now!
Eric: What’s the problem Donna?
Timmy: Yeah, what’s the problem Donna?
Donna: Timmy, go get your pants on or I’ll beat the crap out of you! [Timmy runs out of the room] Eric, remember when I told you to loosen up?
Eric: Oh yeah baby.
Donna: [grabs trophy Eric uses as microphone] Well, tighten up baby. When the house is on fire, the party’s over.
Eric: Well, hey, this was your idea.
Donna: Eric, I told you to loosen up, not act like a dink.
Eric: Well I’m new at this [grabs the trophy back] so sue me. [sings again] Sue, sue, sue me!! Sue me Donna!
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Fez tries out Twister on his own]
Fez: Ok, here we go. [spins the spinner] Right hand blue. [does game behind the couch.]
Eric: Fez, you can't play Twister by yourself.
Fez: That's where you're wrong, my friend. [pause] Right leg green. Oh, that's gonna be tough. [leg appears above the couch, then he slowly puts it back down]
Hyde: Hey, Fez, man. The circus called. They said they'd pay you fifty bucks a week if you can kiss your own ass.
Fez: Take a message.
Fez: Ok, here we go. [spins the spinner] Right hand blue. [does game behind the couch.]
Eric: Fez, you can't play Twister by yourself.
Fez: That's where you're wrong, my friend. [pause] Right leg green. Oh, that's gonna be tough. [leg appears above the couch, then he slowly puts it back down]
Hyde: Hey, Fez, man. The circus called. They said they'd pay you fifty bucks a week if you can kiss your own ass.
Fez: Take a message.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Midge and Bob recites their vows]
Midge: Bob, I'm proud and very grateful to be your wife. [camera focuses on Donna and Eric, who are sitting across the aisle from each other, and Bob and Midge read the vows. Eric flashes Donna a smile and makes an ok sign]
Bob: We've known each other since we were practically kids.
Midge: So we know all the good stuff...
Bob: ...and all the not so good stuff about each other. [Donna and Eric stare at each other, as if the words Bob and Midge are speaking are really being spoken by them.]
Midge: I can't imagine feeling about anyone else the way I feel about you.
Bob: Because I love you. I always loved you. And I wanna make you a promise.
Midge: No matter what happens...
Bob: Good or bad...
Midge: I will always love you. [Donna mouths the same words to Eric at the same time]
Kitty: Awww!
Midge: Bob, I'm proud and very grateful to be your wife. [camera focuses on Donna and Eric, who are sitting across the aisle from each other, and Bob and Midge read the vows. Eric flashes Donna a smile and makes an ok sign]
Bob: We've known each other since we were practically kids.
Midge: So we know all the good stuff...
Bob: ...and all the not so good stuff about each other. [Donna and Eric stare at each other, as if the words Bob and Midge are speaking are really being spoken by them.]
Midge: I can't imagine feeling about anyone else the way I feel about you.
Bob: Because I love you. I always loved you. And I wanna make you a promise.
Midge: No matter what happens...
Bob: Good or bad...
Midge: I will always love you. [Donna mouths the same words to Eric at the same time]
Kitty: Awww!
TV Show: That '70s Show
Bob: Hey, there kids, where've you two been?
Donna: God, Dad, can't we be gone for a minute without you making all sorts of accusations? I mean, God, it was just a minute!
Eric: To be fair, Donna, it was a little more than a minute.
Donna: God, Dad, can't we be gone for a minute without you making all sorts of accusations? I mean, God, it was just a minute!
Eric: To be fair, Donna, it was a little more than a minute.
TV Show: That '70s Show