The Penguins of Madagascar Quotes

Marlene: Skipper, girl stuff just means whatever you like to do. If you're into the commando stuff, being a girl doesn't change that.
Skipper: Of course not. It just means now I'm not good at it. Now, hit me with some chiffon, doll face. I've got a hankering to sew me some curtains. [offstage commotion]
Marlene: That sounded like trouble. Shouldn't you go out there and do something?
Skipper: Land sakes, no! That sounded dangerous. Now, how about we stay here and gossip about boys? [Marlene drags Skipper out by the bow on his head]
Skipper: Hey, that's no way to treat a lady!

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Marlene: The new neighbors, they took Mort! He's gone! [All gasp]
King Julien: Who's Mort? Oh, my easel. Right. I too am gasping in horror, but on the inside. Because, you know, I need that easel.

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Private: Skipper, how cold is it?
Skipper: Kowalski?
Kowalski: I'm not certain, but I'd put the over-under at 17 degrees Fahrenheit. [Taps beak]
Kowalski: The freezing point of snot.
Private: I've lost all feeling in my left cheek, Skipper.
Skipper: That's my cheek, Private, and it's the right one. But don't worry. This joker can't hold out much longer. [the professor turns on a space heater]
Skipper: I stand corrected.

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Private: The scientist's getting suspicious, Skipper.
Skipper: Enough with the smoke and mirrors! It's time we started acting like penguins!
Private: But we only know the smile-and-wave routine. What else do penguins do?
Skipper: I don't have the faintest.

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: This does not wash! We're penguins, they're insects. We've got the size advantage.
Private: But Skipper, they've got the owie advantage.
Rico: Owie!
Private: We can't take out their nest without entering a world of pain.
Skipper: Kowalski, were are we on eliminating pain?
Kowalski: Way ahead of you, Skipper. I have been perfecting a pain elimination helmet. [Puts on helmet and taps it to activate it]
Kowalski: As you will see, the nerve inhibiting matrix will provide 100% protection from any kind of... [Lets a cinder block fall on his flipper]
Kowalski: Aah! It's not perfected! Oh, it hurts! It hurts so bad!

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
[the penguins are inside a box mailed to the plush factory]
Skipper: Kowalski, report.
Kowalski: It's dark.
Skipper: I concur. Rico, weapons check. [Sound of Rico regurgitating several items]
Skipper: Outstanding! Private, sound off.
Private: Uh... Are we there yet?
Skipper: Not yet, Private. Wait for it... Wait for it... Aaaand... Move out, now! [They storm out; they are still at the mailbox]
Skipper: Right. Back in the box.

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Maurice (Singing): Making my ice cream, Oh, sprinkle it on, (Julien grabs the sundae while Maurice is not looking) Now we add a cherry on top! (Julien grabs the cherry) Owwwwwwww!
Julien: Uh, less sprinkles next time, okay Maurice?

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Maurice: I just can't take this!
Julien: Rule number one: Do not question the king. Rule number two-- (Camera falls into Maurice's arms; They begin to fight)

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Julien: I said gimme! What part of Give or Me do you not understand?
Maurice: I understood the me part, like, this was caught by ME!

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: Commence Operation Hammerhead.
Julien: Excuse me, Hammer whose head exactly? (Rico coughs up a hammer; Julien, Maurice and Mort run away screaming)

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper(After the rat king jumps on Kowalski while playing hockey ;concerned): Kowalski, speak to me man!
Kowalski(lying on ground twitching): Just a knock on the old monkey bus...
Skipper(confused): Kowalski?
Kowalski(stumbling on ice): No need to paint. I'm as flopsy-faced as ever.
Skipper(after Kowalski gets up and picks up hockey stick): I...don't think you're fit for duty.
Kowalski(continuing to stumble): Flibberty-jibbet man! I'm as juxtaposed as the next hamburger! (slips and falls on his belly)

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Private(after he and Skipper also get hurt): Skipper, maybe it's time to admit we've lost.
Kowalski(stumbling in the backgound): The moo-cow may have a chocolate marshmallow!

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Kowalski: Well, I'll be a bicycle cream cone!

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Julien: And finally, it's the trampling by a thousand rhinos!
Rico(rhino tramples him): (yelps)
Julien: Uh,slight glitch, though, we only have one rhino. So you have to do it a thousand times.
Rico: (gets trampled by rhino again)

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Julien: Flightless bird, you have completed the three trials! By the way, sorry about the extra rhino tramplings. I lost count.

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Rico': (scatting)
Duck': Look out! (lands on Rico's face with his rear)

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Private: (hears Skipper wheeze and cough, followed by a bucket being kicked) Skipper's gone? It...it...it can't be! (jumps off) What'll we do?
Kowalski: We will honor him the way he would've wanted. By soldiering on like men. (all three glare at the audience)

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Rico: Why?! Why?! WHYYYYY?!

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Julien(after Dr. Blowhole and he stopped laughing maniacally): Quetion: why are we laughing?
Dr. Blowhole: Question: how did the prisoner escape?! (Julien leaps on him)
Julien: Prisoner escaped?! Is he dangerous?
Dr. Blowhole(annoyed): No, and apparently, he isn't very bright.

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Dr Blowhole: You'll appreciate this Kowalski. I've installed a layer-Theatre System, High definition with surround sound. Exre-e-emely spendy.
Kowalski: (slightly angry) Oh, why do the bad guys always get the good stuff?

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Dr. Blowhole: I am so glad you could all join me to witness history. I am, of course, especially pleased that my fli-i-i-ghtless foes graced us with their presence.
Skipper(annoyed): Wouldn't miss it for the world.
Private: There's nothing good on Tely tonight anyway.
Dr. Blowhole(hovering over Private): Well, Private, here's a little show I whipped up. It's called:
Computer Voice: Ring of Fire.
Dr. Blowhole: It is fitting that I returned to the very aqua theater where I performed trickks for the duller humans. Oh, how it made me bitter.
Private: Sorry. Did he say "bitter" or "better"?
Skipper: Hard to say; the sound really bounces around in here.
Kowalski: No, that would be the high ceilings.
Dr. Blowhole: My humiliation in the Ring of Fire became my inspiration. In the Frozen North, we've constructed a vast circle of certainly surprising devices that tap into the heat of the Earth's core. (four drill-like devices break through the ice, glowing)
Skipper: Oh, come on. (Dr. Blowhole zooms over to Skipper)
Dr. Blowhole: Do you mind?! I'm just getting to the good part! It's re-e-ealy quite a shocker.
Skipper: It's so obvious. Humiliated by the humans-
Private: -activate the Ring of Fire-
Kowalski: -melt the Artic-

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: Well, how did we do, punk?
Dr. Blowhole(slightly surprised): You're... in the ball park.

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
JULIEN(after being submerged in toy dolls): I confess to everything! My father was not a talking water cycle! (is submerged again) I cheat at whistling! (makes raspberries)
BUCK ROCKGUT: These snitches don't know anything. They're just a bunch of "small potatoes."
JULIEN: It's true! I am also secretly a potato. OK, that one was a lie. I just wanted the ropes off, you know?

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
SKIPPER(after realizing Buck Rockgut was crazy): Well, maybe we left our paranoia caps on a little too long.
PRIVATE: I do feel bad for the old guy. He's wasted decades chasing an enemy that probably doesn't even exist. (the penguins glide on their stomachs back to the zoo; a telescope appears out of a bush and reveals an underground lair)
RED SQUIRREL(pushing the record button on a tape recorder): Red Squirrel's log. Special Agent Rockgut has been dispos-sed of. (he turns his chair around) Time to get to work. (he laughs meniacally and leaps toward a metal door, but crashes into it) ...Stupid eyepatch.

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
KOWALSKI: Private/Skipper, you've got to stop me!!
PRIVATE: (in response to first future Kowalski) OK. Kowalski? Stop, please.
SKIPPER: (in response to second future Kowalski) There, you're stopped.
KOWALSKI: No, not me me...that me!
SKIPPER AND PRIVATE: There's two of you?

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
SKIPPER: (after Rico throws the time machine into the wormhole it created and it disappears) Problem solved. Now go invent something that won't destroy the world!
PRIVATE: How 'bout a snow cone machine

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar
skipper: (kneeling down at the statue of librety sunken in snow one shavings)kowalski,you maniac,you did it,(pounding on the floor you finally did it.
kowalski: yeah,but you got to admit,these are pretty good snow cones.(picking up snow cone offering to skipper)
skipper: yeah, totally worth it.(licking on snow cone)

TV Show: The Penguins of Madagascar