Arthur Quotes

Arthur: Bitterman! Do you want to double your salary?
Bitterman: Yes sir!
Arthur: Then open that door!

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Buster Baxter: [ties a shoe around Arthur's nose and mouth] This should protect you from those smelly diapers.
Arthur: I can't smell anything.
Buster Baxter: Great.
Arthur: But I can't breathe!

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Lancelot: Arthur! This is not Rome's fight. It is not your fight. All these long years we've been together, the trials we've faced, the blood we've shed... what was it all for if not for the reward of freedom! And now when we are so close, when it's finally within our grasp... Look at me! Does it all count for nothing?
Arthur: You ask me that? You who know me the best of all?
Lancelot: Then do not do this. Only certain death awaits you here. Arthur, I beg you! For our friendship's sake, I beg you!
Arthur: You be my friend now and do not dissuade me. Seize the freedom you have earned and live it for the both of us. I cannot follow you, Lancelot. I know now that all the blood I have shed, all the lives I have taken have led me to this moment.

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Lancelot: To try and get past the Woads in the north is insanity.
Arthur: Them, we've fought before.
Lancelot: Not north of the Wall! How many Saxons? Hmm? How many? Tell me. Do you believe in this mission?
Arthur: These people need our help. It is out duty to bring...
Lancelot: I don't care about your charge. And I don't give a damn about Romans, Britain, or this island. If you desire to spend eternity in this place, Arthur, then so be it. But suicide cannot be chosen for another!
Arthur: And yet you choose death for this family!
Lancelot: No, I choose life! And freedom! For myself and the men!

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[pointing at a mounted moose on the wall]
Arthur: Where's the rest of this moose.
Burt Johnson: Arthur, I think it's time we got to know one another.
Arthur: I do too. That's why I had to come over today. Hmhmhmhm. This is a tough room. [pats the moose]
Arthur: I don't have to tell you that. [points to the moose again]
Arthur: You must've hated this moose.
Burt Johnson: Why don't you forget the moose for a moment! [looks at the moose then to Burt]
Arthur: Right.

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D.W.: I will not be silent. I'll be is loud as I want and . . . . . and you can't stop me. No one can stop me. Who made you the boss of the world?

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D.W.: Arthur, you know I'd do anything for you. For money.

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(He was in Arthur's dream that he was very, angry at Arthur.)
Mr. Ratburn: Yuuccckkkk! I give this cake and it's owner a D. D for disgusting! (Dad's Dessert Dilema)

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Muffy: My daddy can pay for all of us.

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Brain: [He is acting during the gang's "James Hound" movie.] According to my calculations, the last digit of the code should be a one or a two. But which is it? A one or a two?(Brain presses 1; The library lights go off.)  : Arthur: I guess it was a two. (Arthur Makes a Movie)

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Arthur: (sarcastically) Oh great! Now I get to write a really fun report about visiting my Grandma! "I went to my Grandma's. She's Nice. The End." I'm doomed!

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Arthur: (climbing abroad the goose) Hope this is one of those dreams where I can fly. (jumps down) Aaaaaaaaaaaah! (Just Desserts)

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Blinky: They're not my parents...I just look like them. I don't know who they are.

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Buster: I never thought about it before, but being an only child is nice. (Arthur's Big Hit)

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[Buster walks into Mr. Haney's office]
Buster: Mom, Grandma, what are you guys doing, here?
[Buster's mother Bitzi and his grandmother are in Mr. Haney's office about Buster's poor grades]
Bitzi: It's nothing to worry about, dear. [sobbing]
[Buster's grandmother comforts Bitzi]
Mr. Haney: [takes out a lollipop and a tissue] Really, Mrs. Baxter. It's not as bad as always is serious, very serious, but nothing to end up in velvo grease. Good luck available grease can't fix, hopefully. Sit down, Buster.
[Mr. Ratburn sets a chair in the middle of the office for Buster]

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Francine: ARTHUR READ! Did you tell everyone I looked like a marshmallow?!
Arthur: Uh....uh....
Buster: [to Arthur] Yeah, don't you remember? When she was wearing that goofy sweater. [to Francine] So, what do you want to do about it?
Francine: You better apologize or...
Buster: [to Francine] Or what?
Francine: [pointing to Arthur] Or you're going to get it!

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[Arthur and his friend Buster are walking upstairs to his room]
Arthur: I've been working on the plane all week. It's hard, but I'm almost done.
[in Arthur's room, Arthur walks in and sees D.W. has her hands on his model plane]
Arthur: D.W., don't do that! [rushes to D.W.] The paint isn't dry! [picks up the model plane]
D.W.: [looks at her hands that have orange paint on them] EEWW! [runs out of Arthur's room] Mommy, Arthur made my hands orange!
Buster: I never thought about it before. But being an only child is nice.

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[after Arthur and Francine get locked in the library, they bump into each others' backs.]
Arthur and Francine: [both scream][to each other] YOU!!
Francine: Arthur, why didn't you tell me what time it was? You got us locked in.
Arthur: [pointing to himself] Me? [pointing to Francine] Why didn't you say what time it was?
Francine: [pointing to Arthur] I'm NOT your mother, Arthur Read! I mean, how dumb does a person have to be to get locked in a library? [holds up her arms in a "V" shaped position with her hands open and pauses a few seconds] Anyway, [puts her arms down] I have no time for childish bickering. I have to get out of here. [walks off]
Arthur: Fine. [walks after Francine]
Francine: Fine. And by the way, I'm still not talking to you, and I'm not listening, either. [covers her ears with her hands and bends her elbows and walks forward until she bumps her elbow onto a bookshelf] Ow!
[Arthur and Francine gets stacks of books off of the bookshelves and create passageways to escape from the library. Arthur builds a tower full of books while Francine builds a staircase of books.]
Francine: Oh! [walks to the tower of books and grabs a book from the tower right before Arthur is about to unlock the window]
Arthur: HEY! [the tower collapses and becomes a mess full of books, causing Arthur to fall][sarcastically] Thanks, I was almost there.
Francine: [completes the staircase of books with the book she last grabbed, walks up the staircase, and unlocks the window, but a fly comes by, and takes three attempts to shoo the fly away, but screams and starts falling off the stairs of books] Ow!
[Arthur starts running up the staircase of books, and Francine goes after him also. Arthur starts pulling on the window handl

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Arthur: What did you do?! How could you let her hang up?
Francine: Keep your shirt on. I'm calling my mom.
[Francine dials the number of her apartment]
Telephone's recording message: To dial out, you must enter the correct user code. Please hang up and try again. To dial out...
Arthur: Okay, we're doomed!
Francine: You're such a wimp.
Arthur: Then you're a bossy know-it-all, [low tone] marshmallow!
Francine: That does it, Arthur Read! If I have to spend the weekend HERE, I'm NOT spending it with you!
'Arthur: [yells after Francine] Fine with me! See if I care!

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[At the Frensky's apartment, Francine starts flickering with the lights, but Catherine gets irritated by this]
Catherine: Francine! I'm trying to read Shakespeare.
Francine: I'm sorry, Catherine. But if I am to play Edison convincingly, I need experience with electric lights.
[Francine continues flickering with the light switch, but Catherine still ignores the habit]
Catherine: Why don't you study a phonograph or a movie camera? He invented those.
Francine: Good idea, I will. As soon as I'm done here.
[Francine flickers with the light switches once again]
Catherine: [yelling loudly] MOTHER!!

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[Arthur and Buster are in the computer den]
Buster: Couldn't you just show it to me for one second?
Arthur: I guess. Mom would never even know. [they start playing Deep Dark Sea]
D. W: Arthur, what are you doing? Mom told you not to play on her computer.
Arthur: We're NOT playing. I'm just showing it to Buster. Go away!
D. W: If I go away, I'll probably tell Daddy. Besides, I want to watch.
Arthur: Okay, you can watch, but be quiet.
Buster: Wow! Even the Brain didn't get this far.
D. W: What's that?
Arthur: I don't know.
Buster: Go to it. Maybe it's the thing.
D. W: A treasure chest!
Buster: I think that's it. That's...
Arthur and Buster: ...The thing!
Arthur: I think I won. We've got to open it!
[Arthur and Buster both grab at the mouse, then Buster accidentally knocks the keyboard off the desk along with the mouse which both crash to the floor, the computer starts buzzing as the CRT monitor starts to flicker in waves, the screen goes nearly black with a dot in the middle, the screen appears again, and then wipes away completely]
Buster: You wrecked it!
Arthur: No I didn't. You knocked the keyboard off the desk.
Buster: Because you pushed my arm. Try turning it off and on again.
[Arthur presses the top button below the slot, but nothing seems to budge]
D. W: You killed it! Now Mommy will lose her job. Then we'll lose the house, and live in the street, and Kate will get pneumonia, and we'll all starve!
Arthur: D. W., be quiet! I'm thinking.
D. W: And it's all your fault! So you better fix it, because I like living here.
[Buster grabs onto the computer tensely]
Arthur: DON'T do that! You'll make it wors

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Laverne: [to Francine] I'm sorry, honey. But we can't afford to get you a new bike. Maybe next year.
Francine: IT'S NOT FAIR!! I'LL DIE WITHOUT A BIKE!! [puts her head down on the table]
Oliver: No! Not that! Anything but that! You mustn't give up honey! [Catherine stands up from the table] Be brave! Live! I say...LIVE!
Catherine: [walking out of the room] Oh, Dad! Grow up.
Oliver: Catherine's right. And besides, I have an idea. [takes Francine's hand and walks her out]

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D.W.: If it could break the sound barrier, falling out of a window shouldn't be able to break it.
Arthur: I told you not to touch it.
D.W.: You built it all wrong! Did you even read the directions?
[Arthur furiously gets on his feet and grits his teeth; D.W. is too busy talking to be frightened]
D.W.: It didn't fly through one second! It's not my fault if you made a plane that can't fly.
Arthur: [lividly] I told you... NOT TO TOUCH IT!!!!!
[he punches D.W., who hits the ground; D.W. wails in agony as she heads back inside]
Mrs. Read: Arthur Timothy Read? Come here!
Arthur: [shocked] Uh-oh. Middle name!

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Mr. Read: : (after Arthur refuses to apologize for the hit) Arthur, this means no TV for a week.
Arthur: What?! That is so unfair! You don't even care what she did to me!
Mrs. Read: We'll deal with what she did. But what you did was wrong, too.

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D.W.: Mommy! Daddy! The town is exploding and it's very pretty!

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Arthur: Mom says I'm watching the Dark Bunny after your baby show ends!
D.W.: Mary Moo Cow is not a baby show!

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D.W.: Mom! Arthur's trying to trick me into eating bugs!

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Mary Moo Cow: [singing] Oh, D. W. Oh, D. W. I love you.
D. W: Really, Moo?
Mary Moo Cow: There is no one smarter.
D. W: Yet tell that to Arthur.
Mary Moo Cow: Arthur? Bleh!

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D.W.: Arthur, I need your help! What can you tell me about kissing?
Arthur: What? Nothing!
D.W.: C'mon, you must know something about the birds in the trees. Like, how can I get a boy to kiss me?
Arthur: I don't know! Ask mom. I'm doing homework.
D.W.: Ohh! You're no help. (finds a book on the ground of two people kissing) Aha! You do to know something about kissing. You have a book all about it.
Arthur: This is the story of Romeo and Juliet, D. W. I'ts based on a play by William Shakespeare. We're reading it in school.
D.W.: And? what's it about?
Arthur: (sighs) If I tell you, do you promise to leave me alone? (D. W. nodds) Okay. (starts talking fast) There's this boy named Romeo and this girl named Juliet 'n their parents don't like eachother, but they fall in love anyway and plan to run away together but thier's a misunderstanding and it all ends badly. The end.
D.W.: Where's the kissing part?

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(explaining Romeo and Juliet to D. W.)
Arthur: There's this boy named Romeo and this girl named Juliet 'n their parents don't like each other, but they fall in love anyway and plan to run away together but there is a misunderstanding and it all ends badly. The end.

TV Show: Arthur