Sabrina the Teenage Witch Quotes

Harvey Kinkle: [sees Sabrina for the first time ever, through a glass door, both immediately smile at each other, then Mr Pool hits Harvey in the head by opening the glass door]
Mr. Eugene Pool: Summer's over ! Come on in ! [Scene switch, pupils are now in the classroom. Writes to chalkboard]
Mr. Eugene Pool: I'm Mr Pool [coughs]
Mr. Eugene Pool: and I know you where hoping I was gonna spend the day mispronouncing your names, but... instead lets just jump right into biology ! The frog is a coldblooded vertebrate. As we dissect this amphibian we're looking for: the kidneys, lard, and my lost youth. [laughter]
Mr. Eugene Pool: So if you'll each choose up a lab partner ? [waits, nobody moves]
Mr. Eugene Pool: ... or I could pair ya by height ! [they move]
Mr. Eugene Pool: Thank you !
Harvey Kinkle: [to Sabrina] Hey you want...
Libby Chessler: [interrupts from the side] Harvey ! I'll be your lab partner !
Harvey Kinkle: [smiles shortly at Sabrina in a I'm sorry kind of way, then moves to Libby]

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Harvey Kinkle: [after an accident] Is everybody ok?
Sabrina: Well, I didn't hear a voice say, Sabrina, step into the light, so I guess I'm ok.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Salem: [tough voice] Did you get the letter?
Paula Abdul: [on the phone] Yes, I did. But since I don't know who you are I don't care if someone kidnapped your cat! [hangs up]
Salem: [crying] Oh ho

TV Show: Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Zelda: Welcome home, sunshine! How was your day?
Sabrina: Here's a quick recap: There was boredom followed by dullness with a dash of echh!

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Zelda: [Sabrina's going on a trip] Wear seat belts! Watch the road! Avoid ice! Don't pass oln mountain roads!
Hilda: Have fun?
Zelda: That's implied.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Sabrina: Are you kidding? I’d love to meet the Violent Femmes. When? Where?
Harvey: Well they’ll be signing CD’s at Music City in Boston tonight at midnight.
Sabrina: Midnight! That’s perfect. I have no conflicting plans. But I still have to ask my aunts.
Harvey: Just tell them what I told my parents. It’s an astrology field trip.
Sabrina: Don’t you mean astronomy?
Harvey: Wow, they’re paying even less attention than I thought.
Sabrina: This’ll be so much fun. You, me and the Violent Femmes.
Libby: (Turing around from the next table) You’re going to see the Violent Femmes?
Harvey: Yeah.
Libby: You have to let me come with you. (Moves to sit down by Sabrina) I will do anything to meet Gordon Gano. You know I hate this word but... Please? The more the merrier.
Sabrina: (After Harvey gives her a look) All right, you can come.
Libby: Thanks! This is so great. I love the Violent Femmes.
Gordie: (Overhearing their conversation) You’re going to see the Violent Femmes? Can I come too? (He sits at their table beside Harvey)
Libby: No! Jeez Gordie, you can’t just invite yourself along.
Sabrina: I thought you just said ‘The more the merrier’?
Libby: Twist my words, why don’t you.
Harvey: Look. It’s my car and I say any Femmes fan is welcome. So Gordie, you’re in.
Gordie: Cool!
Harvey: Cool!
Sabrina: Cool!
Libby: Shotgun!

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Harvey: You have to let us in. I mean talk about Violent Femmes. If they don’t meet the band there will be four extremely violent femmes, and I’m the one who has to drive them all back to Westbridge along with one love-sick dude. Do not make me do that. You know what I’m saying, you’ve been there right?
Door guard: Hartford, Led Zeppelin, 1973. Go on in

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Sabrina: Salem, what are you doing?
Salem: Nothing!
Sabrina: You’re in a chat-room again pretending to be a woman aren’t you?
Salem: I like the attention

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Harvey: Oh! I’ll grab the cat. We can make him chase the light reflected off my watch.
Sabrina: No! Er... He’s not allowed in the living room. Very bad shedding problem.
Harvey: Really?
Sabrina: Better if he just stays here and minds his own business.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Salem: (To himself) Like I don’t have anything better to do than spy on her. Wait! I don’t

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Sabrina: I passed why is Harvey still a frog?
Zelda: There's one final detail. To change him back you have to return to the scene of the kiss and kiss him again.
Sabrina: I have to kiss a frog? That is so gross!
Zelda: Teenagers, they'll jump through flames but ask em to kiss a frog...

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Sabrina: I'm too weak to lie, I didn't wear my mittens.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Mounty: Freeze
Hilda: As if we can do anything ELSE in this weather

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Mounty: Before I let you go, I have to ask you a few questions about the Mortal Realm to prove you live there - standard procedure
Zelda: Fire away! I DO have three P.h.D's!!
Mounty: What are the names of the Hanson brothers?
Zelda: Who??
Hilda: Isaac, Zachary and Taylor
Mounty: What actor from Marcus Wellby just married Barbara Streisand?
Zelda: Ooh, ooh... Robert Young!
Hilda: James Brooke
Mounty: Sports. Who's the best ----
Hilda: ...Michael Jordan!
Mounty: Correct, you can go!
Hilda: Yes!! (Hi-fives Zelda, both attempt to leave)
Mounty: (holding Zelda back) Oh, not you
Zelda: But -- but, but...
Mounty: You didn't answer one question, there's no WAY you live in the Mortal Realm
Zelda: But I DO! I know who wrote Pride & Prejudice! I know who discovered the Uranium Isotope!
Mounty: No one in the Mortal Realm knows those things!
Zelda: (being dragged off by Mounty) HILDAAA!!!
Hilda: I'll help you Zelda, go back to the bar and wait for me - you'll be Okay! Tonight's ladies' night and... you'll be the only lady!

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Sabrina: Salem?
Salem(as Gordy): Speaking. Man, standing rocks!
Sabrina: Well, that was really nice of you to ask Valerie out. Well, to get Gordy to ask Val- Well, whatever just happened was really nice.
Salem: I thought I might in service while I'm here. It's just my way of saying (rubbing his head on Sabrina's shoulder) thank you, thank you, thank you.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Sabrina(before being thrown to the lions during Rome's national anthem): Hey, it's Rolan and Salem.
Zelda: Thank Zeus!
Rolan: I'm sorry I ducked out on you, but I had to talk Charlie Powermooger out of taking down Microsoft.
Salem: I couldn't resist power, (weeping) but I'm weak. I'm sorry, Sabrina. I didn't want to hurt you; I just wanted to rule you. (Sabrina makes a weird face; Salem faces the Witch Judge) Your Honor, I'm ready to be a cat again.
Witch Judge: Sabrina, once again, you dodged the bullet.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Salem: (refering to Mr. Tobias) Let's destroy everything that's dear to him. Let's indoctrinate him into the cathedral of agony.
Zelda: I'm going to write him a very stern letter.
Salem: You're a regular Mad Max aren't you.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Annabelle: Who better to be my maid of honor than the person who fixed the rift between my daddy and me?
Sabrina: Well besides a sister, college roommate or life long friend I can't think of anyone.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Zelda: Mother's maiden name?
Sabrina: Becker.
Hilda: Favorite dessert that doesn't involve chocolate?
Sabrina: There isn't one. How long is this going to go on?
Zelda: Until we make absolutely sure you're the real Sabrina.
Hilda: Say "Woo hoo."
Sabrina: Woo hoo.
Salem: Imposter! J'accuse!
Sabrina: Back off furball or I'm gonna tell aunt Zelda about the time I caught you in her langerie drawer trying on her lacy red...
Salem: It's Sabrina!

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Jezebelda: Well well well, look what the cat dragged in.
Katrina: It's horrible to see you too.
Jezebelda: Did you gain a little weight?
Katrina: Did your legs get skinnier?
Jezebelda: Is that a whisker coming out of your chin?
Katrina: Is that a chin coming out of your other chin?
Jezebelda: Lord I missed you girl.
Katrina: I missed you too. (they hug)

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Roxie: (after finding Katrina posing as Sabrina reading her diary) How far did you read?
Katrina: Far enough to know you had a dream about Miles last night.
Miles: Really?
Roxie: Don't get too excited. You were dead.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Hilda: Wow,you'd think I'd remember swallowing that.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Hilda: I hate doctors! They poke you and ask if that hurts. Well duh it hurts! You just poked me!

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Roxie: Miles tell her that Valentines day is nothing more than a bogus holiday engineered by the greeting card industry.
Miles: In cahoots with the flower companies and candy manufacterers. I have a hunch the Trilateral Commision is also involved.
Sabrina: That's so cute I never realized how much you two have in common.

TV Show: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch