That '70s Show Quotes
[Donna separately asks Kitty, Laurie, and Midge how their own first times felt]
Donna: Ok, so just out of curiosity, no reason, what was your first time like?
Midge: Oh, my first time was with a guy named...your father.
Laurie: My first time was with this guy named Darren. It was really special! Oh no, wait. It wasn't Darren, it was...Robert? I think, Robert!
Kitty: Well, um, Red and I waited until after we were married. Like, five seconds after we were married. We said, to heck with the receiving line and hit the nearest closet!
Midge: Oh, I remember running my hands through his long blonde hair and listening to his beautiful British accent. [has a long stare, but snaps out of it] You see, because, back then your father was blonde and British!
Laurie: No, no no no, not Robert. There was this guy...what was his name? Or was it his brother? It'll come to me.
Kitty: Good god, that dress must've had a hundred buttons down the back, but Red got it off in no time! You wouldn't know it to look at him but Red's got very nimble fingers. Nimble!
Midge: I just remember it was very disappointing. And I never saw that guy again. I mean, your father. I mean, your father was the first. Don't tell your father, ok?
Laurie: I wanna say Billy. But that's not right. Anyway, I just remember that he wasn't very good.
Kitty: And it was just wonderful. Eventually.
Donna: Ok, so just out of curiosity, no reason, what was your first time like?
Midge: Oh, my first time was with a guy named...your father.
Laurie: My first time was with this guy named Darren. It was really special! Oh no, wait. It wasn't Darren, it was...Robert? I think, Robert!
Kitty: Well, um, Red and I waited until after we were married. Like, five seconds after we were married. We said, to heck with the receiving line and hit the nearest closet!
Midge: Oh, I remember running my hands through his long blonde hair and listening to his beautiful British accent. [has a long stare, but snaps out of it] You see, because, back then your father was blonde and British!
Laurie: No, no no no, not Robert. There was this guy...what was his name? Or was it his brother? It'll come to me.
Kitty: Good god, that dress must've had a hundred buttons down the back, but Red got it off in no time! You wouldn't know it to look at him but Red's got very nimble fingers. Nimble!
Midge: I just remember it was very disappointing. And I never saw that guy again. I mean, your father. I mean, your father was the first. Don't tell your father, ok?
Laurie: I wanna say Billy. But that's not right. Anyway, I just remember that he wasn't very good.
Kitty: And it was just wonderful. Eventually.
TV Show: That '70s Show
Donna: Jackie, you are so totally hot for him. I can see it in your eyes.
Jackie: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I like Fez? NOOOOOOOOOOOO![runs off]
Jackie: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I like Fez? NOOOOOOOOOOOO![runs off]
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Arriving home after watching Annie Hall]
Eric: Hey, do you wanna go see Close Encounters sometime?
Kitty: Oh, I'd love to.
Eric: Very cool. Good night, Mom. [kisses Kitty on cheek before going to the kitchen. Red walks in as Kitty starts to cry.]
Red: Oh, what'd he do? I swear I'll kick his ass!
Eric: Hey, do you wanna go see Close Encounters sometime?
Kitty: Oh, I'd love to.
Eric: Very cool. Good night, Mom. [kisses Kitty on cheek before going to the kitchen. Red walks in as Kitty starts to cry.]
Red: Oh, what'd he do? I swear I'll kick his ass!
TV Show: That '70s Show
Red: How stupid do you think I am? We know what you were doing in the car.
Kitty: No. We don't know.
Red: Yes we do.
Kitty: No. We don't know.
Laurie: [cheering] I do!
Eric: Of course you do! You...majored in it!
Kitty: No. We don't know.
Red: Yes we do.
Kitty: No. We don't know.
Laurie: [cheering] I do!
Eric: Of course you do! You...majored in it!
TV Show: That '70s Show
[at the planned meeting with three radio babes, Fez decides to stay behind and take his chances with three old women at the entrance to a club]
Fez: Hello my lovelies, I am Julie. Which one of you is Hot-To-Trot?
Girl's Voice: Julie?
Fez: [turns around] Yes? [sees attractive girls walk up to him]
Girl No 1: You made it! I'm Hot-to-Trot.
Girl No 2: I'm Foxy Lady!
Girl No 3: And I'm Nice-and-Easy!
Fez: You're not fat. Or old at all!
Nice-and-Easy: Of course not! We're gymnasts.
Fez: Dear, Penthouse... [girls smile]
Fez: Hello my lovelies, I am Julie. Which one of you is Hot-To-Trot?
Girl's Voice: Julie?
Fez: [turns around] Yes? [sees attractive girls walk up to him]
Girl No 1: You made it! I'm Hot-to-Trot.
Girl No 2: I'm Foxy Lady!
Girl No 3: And I'm Nice-and-Easy!
Fez: You're not fat. Or old at all!
Nice-and-Easy: Of course not! We're gymnasts.
Fez: Dear, Penthouse... [girls smile]
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Eric starts to drive the car into the garage]
Eric: What the...?
Red: You're moving it a foot and you hit something. Jeez.
Eric: Oh my God! Its... Its Mr. Bonkers.
Red: Wow. That is one dead cat.
Eric: What the...?
Red: You're moving it a foot and you hit something. Jeez.
Eric: Oh my God! Its... Its Mr. Bonkers.
Red: Wow. That is one dead cat.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[At the Forman kitchen, Kelso tells Laurie that they must break up]
Kelso: I don’t wanna live with this lying anymore. Because I only love Jackie.
Laurie: Okay. So, do you wanna go up to my room and have sex?
Kelso: Uh...sure! [Realizes what he’s doing] No, wait! No! [releases Laurie and turns around so his back is to the kitchen's garage entrance] No! Okay, I...this...Laurie, I...I’m serious. We’re over.
Laurie: Wow. I think you really mean it.
Kelso: I totally do.
Laurie: [sees Jackie just outside the garage] Okay, Kelso, you’re free! You know what I’d like, though? Just one last goodbye kiss.
Kelso: Um...okay, well sure. [kisses Laurie. Jackie is shocked and rushes in]
Jackie: Michael!
Kelso: [lets go of Laurie] Jackie! We were...[Jackie runs away] No, there was...
Laurie: Wow, how ironic, huh? [leaves the room. Kelso bangs his head against the wall]
Kelso: I don’t wanna live with this lying anymore. Because I only love Jackie.
Laurie: Okay. So, do you wanna go up to my room and have sex?
Kelso: Uh...sure! [Realizes what he’s doing] No, wait! No! [releases Laurie and turns around so his back is to the kitchen's garage entrance] No! Okay, I...this...Laurie, I...I’m serious. We’re over.
Laurie: Wow. I think you really mean it.
Kelso: I totally do.
Laurie: [sees Jackie just outside the garage] Okay, Kelso, you’re free! You know what I’d like, though? Just one last goodbye kiss.
Kelso: Um...okay, well sure. [kisses Laurie. Jackie is shocked and rushes in]
Jackie: Michael!
Kelso: [lets go of Laurie] Jackie! We were...[Jackie runs away] No, there was...
Laurie: Wow, how ironic, huh? [leaves the room. Kelso bangs his head against the wall]
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Kelso continues to write his song and practice the chords]
Kelso: "I didn't mean to cheat, but she forced me. Downright coerced me." [pauses] That's pretty good. [writes lyrics]
Eric Forman: Man, I just asked her (Donna) for a root beer.
Fez: You tried to control her Eric, and the women always controls the men.
Kelso: That's true.
Eric: Donna does not control me!
Fez: Oh Eric, you have so much more to learn, my friend.
Kelso: Yeah, I wish Jackie was still controlling me. I love being on a short leash. [pauses, and strums guitar again] "Put the SHORT LEASH BACK ON ME!"
Eric: Uh Kelso, let me see that for a second. [picks up guitar and smashes it on table]
Kelso: [laughs] You know that was kind of funny, that was your guitar. [pauses] BURN!
Kelso: "I didn't mean to cheat, but she forced me. Downright coerced me." [pauses] That's pretty good. [writes lyrics]
Eric Forman: Man, I just asked her (Donna) for a root beer.
Fez: You tried to control her Eric, and the women always controls the men.
Kelso: That's true.
Eric: Donna does not control me!
Fez: Oh Eric, you have so much more to learn, my friend.
Kelso: Yeah, I wish Jackie was still controlling me. I love being on a short leash. [pauses, and strums guitar again] "Put the SHORT LEASH BACK ON ME!"
Eric: Uh Kelso, let me see that for a second. [picks up guitar and smashes it on table]
Kelso: [laughs] You know that was kind of funny, that was your guitar. [pauses] BURN!
TV Show: That '70s Show
[at Aunt Pearl's home, Red tries a way to entertain her along with Kitty and Laurie]
Red: Come on Pearl, there's a Bucks game on!
Aunt Pearl: [enthusiastically gets out of rest room and heads to her chair] The Bucks, huh?
Kitty: [comforts Red] Well, now see? This is nice.
Aunt Pearl: The only thing that keeps me alive is watching the Bucks lose! PPPT!
Red: [Unenthusiastically]: Go Bucks.
Red: Come on Pearl, there's a Bucks game on!
Aunt Pearl: [enthusiastically gets out of rest room and heads to her chair] The Bucks, huh?
Kitty: [comforts Red] Well, now see? This is nice.
Aunt Pearl: The only thing that keeps me alive is watching the Bucks lose! PPPT!
Red: [Unenthusiastically]: Go Bucks.
TV Show: That '70s Show
Kelso: So, did you kiss her? 'Cause I'll kill you if you kissed her.
Fez: No, I didn't want to kiss her. I wanted to hand her a napkin... There was not a moment when she didn't have a face full of food. I was disgusted.
Fez: No, I didn't want to kiss her. I wanted to hand her a napkin... There was not a moment when she didn't have a face full of food. I was disgusted.
TV Show: That '70s Show
Eric: Okay, Laurie, I know what you told Hyde.
Laurie: What are you talking about, loser?
Eric: The camp story. Doctor Pee Pee. You're dead.
Fez: [whispering to Hyde] what's going on?
Hyde: Shh. Pretend it's TV.
Eric: Well, I know some stuff about you, little lady. Fellas, Laurie here waxes her lips, legs, eyebrows, toes, and shoulder blades.
Laurie: In the fifth grade, Eric sent away for the Charles Atlas kit 'cause a girl kicked sand in his face.
Eric: You stuffed in high school.
Laurie: So did you.
Eric: Last year Laurie used all of her birthday money to buy a back massager; which isn't fooling anyone, by the way.
Laurie: Well, that's not as bad as the time I walked in on you in bed with your Dorothy Hamill poster and you were all—
Eric: Laurie was born with a tail!
[Fez gasps.]
Hyde: What?
Laurie: I HATE YOU! [runs upstairs]
Eric: It's true. [puts hands together and makes a tail]
Laurie: What are you talking about, loser?
Eric: The camp story. Doctor Pee Pee. You're dead.
Fez: [whispering to Hyde] what's going on?
Hyde: Shh. Pretend it's TV.
Eric: Well, I know some stuff about you, little lady. Fellas, Laurie here waxes her lips, legs, eyebrows, toes, and shoulder blades.
Laurie: In the fifth grade, Eric sent away for the Charles Atlas kit 'cause a girl kicked sand in his face.
Eric: You stuffed in high school.
Laurie: So did you.
Eric: Last year Laurie used all of her birthday money to buy a back massager; which isn't fooling anyone, by the way.
Laurie: Well, that's not as bad as the time I walked in on you in bed with your Dorothy Hamill poster and you were all—
Eric: Laurie was born with a tail!
[Fez gasps.]
Hyde: What?
Laurie: I HATE YOU! [runs upstairs]
Eric: It's true. [puts hands together and makes a tail]
TV Show: That '70s Show
Pastor Dave: Okay. Lets see your pictures. Kitty, what do you see when you think of God? [Kitty shows picture] Oh, that's nice. Very lifelike.
Kitty: See He's, um, He's looking down fondly on all of us going to church.
Dave: Steven. [Hyde shows picture of a man with long hair and a beard] Very good. I see, when you think of God, you see Jesus.
Hyde: No man, it's Clapton.
Eric: Oh my God, man. I drew Clapton too.
Kitty: See He's, um, He's looking down fondly on all of us going to church.
Dave: Steven. [Hyde shows picture of a man with long hair and a beard] Very good. I see, when you think of God, you see Jesus.
Hyde: No man, it's Clapton.
Eric: Oh my God, man. I drew Clapton too.
TV Show: That '70s Show
Pastor Dave: Ok, Laurie, let's see what you have.
[Laurie slowly puts three cards down one at a time while smiling and glaring at Dave]
Pastor Dave: Six... six... six... [frightened] Oh, well thank you for the wonderful evening! I'll see you at church!
[Laurie slowly puts three cards down one at a time while smiling and glaring at Dave]
Pastor Dave: Six... six... six... [frightened] Oh, well thank you for the wonderful evening! I'll see you at church!
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Red scolds Eric on picking up boxes]
Red: Eric, bend your knees and lift with your legs, or else I'm gonna-
Eric: [as he logs the boxes in a clipboard] -kick my ass, put your foot in my ass, make my ass a hat, yeah yeah yeah...
Red: Eric, bend your knees and lift with your legs, or else I'm gonna-
Eric: [as he logs the boxes in a clipboard] -kick my ass, put your foot in my ass, make my ass a hat, yeah yeah yeah...
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Red talks to Kelso in the garage over his relationship with Laurie]
Red: What you want to do is fly in under my radar, so that if I don't see you and Laurie together, or even mention her name in the same breath, I might just forget that you even exist, got it?
Kelso: Yeah, so if you mean me and Laurie -
Red: Oh no, now, you just mentioned my daughter's name.
Kelso: Ok, so if Kelso and your daughter -
Red: No no, see...that's not gonna work either.
Kelso: This is hard, Red!
Red: Yeah, you're gonna be here 'till you get it right, Kelso!
Kelso: Okay Red, but eventually my parents are gonna come looking for me.
Red: [threatening voice] Yeah, but they're not gonna find ya! Oh, that's another joke. Come on laugh, Kelso! [Kelso begins to cry]
Red: What you want to do is fly in under my radar, so that if I don't see you and Laurie together, or even mention her name in the same breath, I might just forget that you even exist, got it?
Kelso: Yeah, so if you mean me and Laurie -
Red: Oh no, now, you just mentioned my daughter's name.
Kelso: Ok, so if Kelso and your daughter -
Red: No no, see...that's not gonna work either.
Kelso: This is hard, Red!
Red: Yeah, you're gonna be here 'till you get it right, Kelso!
Kelso: Okay Red, but eventually my parents are gonna come looking for me.
Red: [threatening voice] Yeah, but they're not gonna find ya! Oh, that's another joke. Come on laugh, Kelso! [Kelso begins to cry]
TV Show: That '70s Show
[After Jackie mauls Laurie]
Donna: I can't believe Laurie bit me. I hope she didn't give me slut rabies.
Eric: Jackie, you're my hero. [Jackie looks confused. Eric continues] You hit her in the eye.
Jackie: Yeah but I guess it wasn't very zen of me, was it Hyde?
Hyde: Well, where zen ends, ass-kicking begins. And that's your final lesson, grasshopper.
Donna: I can't believe Laurie bit me. I hope she didn't give me slut rabies.
Eric: Jackie, you're my hero. [Jackie looks confused. Eric continues] You hit her in the eye.
Jackie: Yeah but I guess it wasn't very zen of me, was it Hyde?
Hyde: Well, where zen ends, ass-kicking begins. And that's your final lesson, grasshopper.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Hyde scans pictures of Jackie's yearbook copy when he sees something]
Hyde: Oh my God, someone in the crowd is mooning! [gang rushes to see it.] You're all cheering away and all the time you're getting mooned, yeah!
Eric: Oh, my God, that's a girl butt. There's girl butt in the yearbook. Oh man, I can't tell who it is, I wish we had a magnifying glass.
Kelso: [whips out a magnifying glass] Here you go. [Gang looks back at him.] I was just playing with some bugs.
Jackie: God, I can't believe it, someone's nasty butt is in my picture.
Eric: Oh my God, that's not girl butt...that's Donna's butt! [Kelso, Hyde and Fez look at a pleased Donna, and then at her butt]
Hyde: Oh my God, someone in the crowd is mooning! [gang rushes to see it.] You're all cheering away and all the time you're getting mooned, yeah!
Eric: Oh, my God, that's a girl butt. There's girl butt in the yearbook. Oh man, I can't tell who it is, I wish we had a magnifying glass.
Kelso: [whips out a magnifying glass] Here you go. [Gang looks back at him.] I was just playing with some bugs.
Jackie: God, I can't believe it, someone's nasty butt is in my picture.
Eric: Oh my God, that's not girl butt...that's Donna's butt! [Kelso, Hyde and Fez look at a pleased Donna, and then at her butt]
TV Show: That '70s Show
[As Hyde is taken into custody over marijuana]
Jackie: Steven Hyde, you were right. We will never be friends. We'll be more than friends. Because now I love you!
Hyde: Oh, my God, will you shut up?
Jackie: Steven Hyde, you were right. We will never be friends. We'll be more than friends. Because now I love you!
Hyde: Oh, my God, will you shut up?
TV Show: That '70s Show
Red: [After finding out about Hyde being on probation] Probation? Well, isn't that just ducky? You know how Russia treats their criminals? First offense, five years in Siberia! Second offense, ten years! Believe you me, there is no third offense!
TV Show: That '70s Show
Red: I'm cracking down. And I'm cracking down hard! Starting right now, fun time is over! [stalks out of the kitchen]
Eric: So where was I for fun time?
Eric: So where was I for fun time?
TV Show: That '70s Show
[while family is watching The Brady Bunch]
Eric: Hey did you see the one where Mr. Brady went insane and put bells on all the doors?
Red: Did you see the one where Greg was being a real wise ass and Mr. Brady took him outside and cleaned his clock?
Laurie: Did you see the one where I hate living here?
Hyde: That's my favorite.
Eric: Hey did you see the one where Mr. Brady went insane and put bells on all the doors?
Red: Did you see the one where Greg was being a real wise ass and Mr. Brady took him outside and cleaned his clock?
Laurie: Did you see the one where I hate living here?
Hyde: That's my favorite.
TV Show: That '70s Show
Eric and Hyde[to Shirley Jones]: Hi, Mom!
Kitty: Mom?
Shirley Jones: That's right, Kitty.
Eric: We’re Partridges now!
Hyde: This is gonna be great! I’m pretty sure I can nail Susan Dey!
Kitty: No! Partridges? You can’t live in a bus! There’s no toilet!
Kitty: Mom?
Shirley Jones: That's right, Kitty.
Eric: We’re Partridges now!
Hyde: This is gonna be great! I’m pretty sure I can nail Susan Dey!
Kitty: No! Partridges? You can’t live in a bus! There’s no toilet!
TV Show: That '70s Show
Laurie: And bless mommy, and bless daddy and bless grandma. Oh hi daddy.
Red: Sorry to bother you kitten. [He and Kitty exit]
Donna: Kelso get your hand off my ass!
Kelso: It was an accident.
Laurie: Shhh!
Donna: It's still there!
Kelso: It's still an accident.
Donna: Kelso it's still there!
Kelso: Yeah.
Red: Sorry to bother you kitten. [He and Kitty exit]
Donna: Kelso get your hand off my ass!
Kelso: It was an accident.
Laurie: Shhh!
Donna: It's still there!
Kelso: It's still an accident.
Donna: Kelso it's still there!
Kelso: Yeah.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[The guys enter a bar]
Eric: All right. They didn't even check our fake IDs.
Fez: And I wasted a whole day thinking up my fake name.
Hyde: Yeah. Sorry, "Pez." Let's drink.
Bud: So, fellas, school let out early?
Kelso: Yeah. We're just....
Eric: Kelso, shut up!
Kelso: Uh, I mean, no. No, we're old. We're workers. We're all construction workers. Hey, fellas, did you see that brick today? Whoo!
Bud: Relax, guys. It's "Serve a Minor Night" at the old "Don't Have a Liquor License" Saloon [to Hyde] You look familiar. Do I know you?
Hyde: I should hope so...Dad. [Kelso, Eric, and Fez are aghast]
Eric: All right. They didn't even check our fake IDs.
Fez: And I wasted a whole day thinking up my fake name.
Hyde: Yeah. Sorry, "Pez." Let's drink.
Bud: So, fellas, school let out early?
Kelso: Yeah. We're just....
Eric: Kelso, shut up!
Kelso: Uh, I mean, no. No, we're old. We're workers. We're all construction workers. Hey, fellas, did you see that brick today? Whoo!
Bud: Relax, guys. It's "Serve a Minor Night" at the old "Don't Have a Liquor License" Saloon [to Hyde] You look familiar. Do I know you?
Hyde: I should hope so...Dad. [Kelso, Eric, and Fez are aghast]
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Eric and Donna are making out in his bed, but Donna discovers an issue of PlayPen on the floor]
Donna: You keep a stack of dirty magazines under your bed? [gets up to look under his bed]
Eric: What? No! God, not a stack. You know, what is a "stack" really?
Donna: Why do you have these down here?
Eric: Now, wait, Donna...downstairs you were laughing and cracking jokes about this stuff.
Donna: Eric, that was in the basement...with our idiotic friends. Why do you need them? Aren't I enough? [throws the magazines at him]
Eric: No-Yeah, you're enough. God, you're...you're plenty. It's just, uh, that, uh... you see, Donna, you see, what I do with dirty magazines... is... really only interesting to me.... with the reading of the articles and the solving of the puzzles and whatnot.
Donna: You know what? I don't wanna know bout the whatnot. I'm outta here [leaves room]
Eric: [to magazines] Oh, no, girls. She's onto us.
Donna: You keep a stack of dirty magazines under your bed? [gets up to look under his bed]
Eric: What? No! God, not a stack. You know, what is a "stack" really?
Donna: Why do you have these down here?
Eric: Now, wait, Donna...downstairs you were laughing and cracking jokes about this stuff.
Donna: Eric, that was in the basement...with our idiotic friends. Why do you need them? Aren't I enough? [throws the magazines at him]
Eric: No-Yeah, you're enough. God, you're...you're plenty. It's just, uh, that, uh... you see, Donna, you see, what I do with dirty magazines... is... really only interesting to me.... with the reading of the articles and the solving of the puzzles and whatnot.
Donna: You know what? I don't wanna know bout the whatnot. I'm outta here [leaves room]
Eric: [to magazines] Oh, no, girls. She's onto us.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[The gang think of ways on how to spend their Halloween. Kelso has an idea.]
Kelso: You know what would be fun? If we were in an Alfred Hitchcock movie right now, and we didn’t know it. And then, someone one told us and we were all like, “Oh man! I’m in a movie!" [Hyde, Kelso, Donna, Eric, Jackie, and Fez individually give surprised looks to the camera]
Donna: Yeah, ok, I’m out of here.
Eric: Wait, but I thought we-
Donna: GET BENT!
Eric: Ok, I’ll do that.
Kelso: You know what would be fun? If we were in an Alfred Hitchcock movie right now, and we didn’t know it. And then, someone one told us and we were all like, “Oh man! I’m in a movie!" [Hyde, Kelso, Donna, Eric, Jackie, and Fez individually give surprised looks to the camera]
Donna: Yeah, ok, I’m out of here.
Eric: Wait, but I thought we-
Donna: GET BENT!
Eric: Ok, I’ll do that.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[A man goes up to a dark room in the Formans' house, where Fez is. He tries to scare off the man using a camera's flash, but Hyde opens the light. The mysterious man is actually Bob.]
Fez: You can’t kill me like you killed Midge, you big doofy!
Bob: Kill Midge? I didn’t kill Midge. She’s in Chicago visiting her sister.
Fez: Oh, really. Then what was in the heavy garbage sacks?
Bob: Garbage, you idiot.
Hyde: Oh, well I guess that explains the giant knife, the guts all over your apron. Oh, wait, no it doesn’t!
Fez: Explain that, killer!
Bob: They were pumpkin guts. I was making Jack-o’-lanterns.
Fez: So, you’re hiding Midge’s body in a jack-o’-lantern. Clever plan.
Bob: [walks over to the window] Look, there’s Midge now. Not dead or nothing. [Fez sees Midge getting undressed]
Fez: Oh goody! You can go now.
Bob: Midgey! No! Cover yourself!
Fez: You can’t kill me like you killed Midge, you big doofy!
Bob: Kill Midge? I didn’t kill Midge. She’s in Chicago visiting her sister.
Fez: Oh, really. Then what was in the heavy garbage sacks?
Bob: Garbage, you idiot.
Hyde: Oh, well I guess that explains the giant knife, the guts all over your apron. Oh, wait, no it doesn’t!
Fez: Explain that, killer!
Bob: They were pumpkin guts. I was making Jack-o’-lanterns.
Fez: So, you’re hiding Midge’s body in a jack-o’-lantern. Clever plan.
Bob: [walks over to the window] Look, there’s Midge now. Not dead or nothing. [Fez sees Midge getting undressed]
Fez: Oh goody! You can go now.
Bob: Midgey! No! Cover yourself!
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Fez and Jackie await the results of the Roller Disco competition with Donna and Kelso, who is not pleased]
Announcer: And the winner of Kenosha's Annual Roller Disco Doo-dah is...Jackie Burkhart and...
Donna and Jackie: Oh, my God! [Jackie hugs Fez]
Announcer: Friend.
Kelso: Fix! Fix!
Jackie: I can't believe it! I'm so sorry I doubted you. You...You are my hero...My...my hunky, sexy, foreign skating hero!
Fez: And you are my...my spoiled, whiny skating princess.
Jackie: Oh, Fez, thank you! [a tournament assistant gives them champagne] Yaaaay, champagne! Yaaay!
Kelso: Yaaaay! Yaaay! [rubs Jackie's back]
Jackie: [Shakes off Kelso] Get off me. Kelso, you booed us the entire time.
Kelso: What? No! That was some rude guy. So I popped him one, and then I was goin', "Ooh," because I hurt my hand when I popped the rude guy. So... you're welcome. You wanna kiss it?
Jackie: Let's go, Fez [they leave]
Donna: Hmm. Come on, Kelso. Look at the bright side.
Kelso: What's the bright side?
Donna: The bright side is there isn't one. Fez has Jackie, and you have to squeeze out that marble.
Announcer: And the winner of Kenosha's Annual Roller Disco Doo-dah is...Jackie Burkhart and...
Donna and Jackie: Oh, my God! [Jackie hugs Fez]
Announcer: Friend.
Kelso: Fix! Fix!
Jackie: I can't believe it! I'm so sorry I doubted you. You...You are my hero...My...my hunky, sexy, foreign skating hero!
Fez: And you are my...my spoiled, whiny skating princess.
Jackie: Oh, Fez, thank you! [a tournament assistant gives them champagne] Yaaaay, champagne! Yaaay!
Kelso: Yaaaay! Yaaay! [rubs Jackie's back]
Jackie: [Shakes off Kelso] Get off me. Kelso, you booed us the entire time.
Kelso: What? No! That was some rude guy. So I popped him one, and then I was goin', "Ooh," because I hurt my hand when I popped the rude guy. So... you're welcome. You wanna kiss it?
Jackie: Let's go, Fez [they leave]
Donna: Hmm. Come on, Kelso. Look at the bright side.
Kelso: What's the bright side?
Donna: The bright side is there isn't one. Fez has Jackie, and you have to squeeze out that marble.
TV Show: That '70s Show
[Red and Eric are summoned to testify about Earl's wrongful termination suit against Red]
Eric: I guess "violent" is the wrong word... but, you know, it's definitely some kind of rage. Although, I mean, you know, Earl had it coming. I love you, Daddy.
Earl: [enters room panting] Oh, hey. Sorry I'm late.
Mediator: Hour and 10 minutes late. I can only assume you're Earl.
Earl: Yeah. So, um, sorry. My, uh, dog got hit by a...a guy in a....
Red: Car?
Earl: Thanks, Red. So, what'd I miss?
Mediator: You missed everything. Okay. I'm not gonna lie. Mr. Forman, you...you scare the living hell out of me. No offense.
Red: None taken.
Eric: That's kind of his thing.
Mediator: But, Earl, in light of your failure to show up for your own hearing... we have no choice but to rule in favor of Mr. Forman.
Red: Yes, sir!
Eric: Way to go, Dad!
Earl: Damn... dog.
Mediator: And Mr. Forman, even though this hearing did go your way today...in light of some of your son's responses... I would strongly encourage you to go to anger management classes.
Red: Sure, I'll...I'll do that [Mediator leaves with Earl close behind]
Eric: Neat! Anger management. That sounds like it could be kind of fun, right? We...We won. Hey! You and me...We're such a good team. Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah. We did it. How about us, huh? Stickin' it to the man.
Red: [obviously angry] I'll see you at home. [leaves room]
Eric: Wait. But, Dad, we...we drove here together!
Eric: I guess "violent" is the wrong word... but, you know, it's definitely some kind of rage. Although, I mean, you know, Earl had it coming. I love you, Daddy.
Earl: [enters room panting] Oh, hey. Sorry I'm late.
Mediator: Hour and 10 minutes late. I can only assume you're Earl.
Earl: Yeah. So, um, sorry. My, uh, dog got hit by a...a guy in a....
Red: Car?
Earl: Thanks, Red. So, what'd I miss?
Mediator: You missed everything. Okay. I'm not gonna lie. Mr. Forman, you...you scare the living hell out of me. No offense.
Red: None taken.
Eric: That's kind of his thing.
Mediator: But, Earl, in light of your failure to show up for your own hearing... we have no choice but to rule in favor of Mr. Forman.
Red: Yes, sir!
Eric: Way to go, Dad!
Earl: Damn... dog.
Mediator: And Mr. Forman, even though this hearing did go your way today...in light of some of your son's responses... I would strongly encourage you to go to anger management classes.
Red: Sure, I'll...I'll do that [Mediator leaves with Earl close behind]
Eric: Neat! Anger management. That sounds like it could be kind of fun, right? We...We won. Hey! You and me...We're such a good team. Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah. We did it. How about us, huh? Stickin' it to the man.
Red: [obviously angry] I'll see you at home. [leaves room]
Eric: Wait. But, Dad, we...we drove here together!
TV Show: That '70s Show