Dinnerladies Quotes
Tony: Are you all right Bren? Did you get any?
Bren: What?
Tony: At the weekend! Did you get any?
Bren: Any sex? No I had to go to the laundrette. Did you, Tony?
Tony: Hollow flipping laughter.
Bren: What?
Tony: At the weekend! Did you get any?
Bren: Any sex? No I had to go to the laundrette. Did you, Tony?
Tony: Hollow flipping laughter.
Movie: Dinnerladies
Philippa: Would this be a good moment to talk about Scottish country dancing?
Jean: No it wouldn't!
Jean: No it wouldn't!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Bren: Twink, what's the soup?
Twinkle: Minestrone
Bren: Well why's it not on the menu?
Twinkle: Can't spell it!
Twinkle: Minestrone
Bren: Well why's it not on the menu?
Twinkle: Can't spell it!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Tony: I quite like women in a sad, baffled sort of way! But can we get a grip? Out of a workforce of five, at any given moment one will have pre-menstrual tension, one's panicking because she's not, someone's having a hot flush and someone else is having a nervous breakdown because her HRT patch has fallen in the minestrone!
Jean: [Annoyed] That was a one off!
Jean: [Annoyed] That was a one off!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Philippa Morcroft: Pressure at work can affect your sex life, they did a questionnaire [reading] "Are you to busy to have an orgasm?"
Jean: Orgasm? I've not blown my nose since Wednesday!
Jean: Orgasm? I've not blown my nose since Wednesday!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: (to the Stripper) Can you play the accordion?
Stripper: Well, you could see what a liability that could be naked, might trap a nipple.
Stripper: Well, you could see what a liability that could be naked, might trap a nipple.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: Last big wedding Keith's Auntie ate a coaster.
Dolly: What?
Jean: Keith's Auntie Margo ate a raffia drinks coaster. She thought it was a high fibre biscuit. She had to be held back from moving down the table and buttering two more.
Dolly: What?
Jean: Keith's Auntie Margo ate a raffia drinks coaster. She thought it was a high fibre biscuit. She had to be held back from moving down the table and buttering two more.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: I thought about trailing greenery for the reception, but Keith's anti-ivy.
Bren: I didn't know Keith had an Auntie Ivy.
Bren: I didn't know Keith had an Auntie Ivy.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Royal: (to Anita) Are you an immigrant?
Philippa: No, Anita's British!
Royal: Oh, good. So you don't find it too cold here?
Philippa: No, Anita's British!
Royal: Oh, good. So you don't find it too cold here?
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Royal: How do you feel about wearing a uniform?
Anita: I think we can all see the sense in it, for hygiene. And it protects your nipples!
Anita: I think we can all see the sense in it, for hygiene. And it protects your nipples!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Tony: (to Twinkle) Do you want to get a job in an upstairs window in Amsterdam, or shall we try and cling on to our slim little foothold in catering?
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Sheila: I've got high blood pressure and water retention. Do you know what that gives you?
Bren: Boiling water?
Bren: Boiling water?
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Dolly: Why do people have to spit? That ruined Titanic for me, the spitting! The iceberg couldn't come fast enough after I saw that!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Enid: Did you get that skirt from a catalogue?
Philippa: No.
Enid: Pity. You could have sent it back.
Philippa: No.
Enid: Pity. You could have sent it back.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Anita: I'm really upset. It was me who saw him sitting on the toilet - I think I should have counselling!
Dolly: Counselling! My mother was trapped under a Blackpool tram for four and a half hours - she didn't get counselling. She got a cup of tea and two tickets to Charlie Drake!
Dolly: Counselling! My mother was trapped under a Blackpool tram for four and a half hours - she didn't get counselling. She got a cup of tea and two tickets to Charlie Drake!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Connie: It's like I keep telling Jean, sex is like icing a cake. You've got to bloody concentrate!!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Enid: Dolly was a beautiful baby, dainty like a little doll, and then WOOF! She looked like a dinghy with plaits.
Dolly: That was puberty.
Enid: It was not, it was pies.
Dolly: That was puberty.
Enid: It was not, it was pies.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Petula: What did Edith Piaf use to say?
Bren: A handbag?
Petula: No, that was Edith Evans! No, it was - non, je ne regrette rien. Rien regriette...
Bren: A handbag?
Petula: No, that was Edith Evans! No, it was - non, je ne regrette rien. Rien regriette...
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Babs: I've come from Urmston.
Tony: Have you?
Babs: There's two ways to get there.
Tony: Have you?
Babs: There's two ways to get there.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: (on the Christmas party) Normally it's a few dodgy pies and a disco. You show up, throw up and bog off home.
TV Show: Dinnerladies