iCarly Quotes
Freddie: ...But wait. The fudge balls aren't free.
Carly: No, but when you subtract the cost of the fudge balls from the money our fans sent us, we still make $541 in profit. And Spencer wins the bike for the little sunshine girl.
Freddie: ...But wait. What do we do with the money?
Carly: Well, we get to keep 541, and Sam owes us 526, so we give Sam the 526, and then she can pay us back and quit her stupid job.
Freddie: ...But wait.
Carly: Stop saying but wait!
Freddie: Sam's not gonna take the money from us.
Carly: Why wouldn't she?
Freddie: It's a pride thing. It's why she won't quit her job. If we just give her the money, she won't feel like she really paid us back.
Carly: Yeah. Okay, how about this?
Freddie: Yeah?
Carly: We find some adult that Sam doesn't know.
Freddie: Okay.
Carly: And we give him the $526 and then he gives the money to Sam as a tip at the restaurant.
Freddie: That's brilliant.
Carly: Isn't it?
Freddie: ...But wait.
Carly: WHAT?!
Freddie: That leaves an extra $15.
Carly: Yeah, five for me, five for Sam and five for you. Go nuts.
Carly: No, but when you subtract the cost of the fudge balls from the money our fans sent us, we still make $541 in profit. And Spencer wins the bike for the little sunshine girl.
Freddie: ...But wait. What do we do with the money?
Carly: Well, we get to keep 541, and Sam owes us 526, so we give Sam the 526, and then she can pay us back and quit her stupid job.
Freddie: ...But wait.
Carly: Stop saying but wait!
Freddie: Sam's not gonna take the money from us.
Carly: Why wouldn't she?
Freddie: It's a pride thing. It's why she won't quit her job. If we just give her the money, she won't feel like she really paid us back.
Carly: Yeah. Okay, how about this?
Freddie: Yeah?
Carly: We find some adult that Sam doesn't know.
Freddie: Okay.
Carly: And we give him the $526 and then he gives the money to Sam as a tip at the restaurant.
Freddie: That's brilliant.
Carly: Isn't it?
Freddie: ...But wait.
Carly: WHAT?!
Freddie: That leaves an extra $15.
Carly: Yeah, five for me, five for Sam and five for you. Go nuts.
TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: [looking at his ribs in the form of a necklace] You ate my ribs?
Sam: I made the bones into a necklace!
Sam: I made the bones into a necklace!
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Morning, girls. Check me out.
Carly: What?
Freddie: [lifts up shirt] No belt. And look- [lifts hem of pants] Open-toed shoes.
Sam: [sarcasticly] Wow, you're an animal.
Carly: But I thought your mom always makes you wear a belt, and never lets you wear open-toed shoes.
Freddie: Yeah, but since she's been taking care of Lewbert, I can pretty much do whatever I want. Last night? Slept with my socks on.
Sam: So?
Freddie: Just my socks.
Sam: [food falls out of mouth]
Carly: What?
Freddie: [lifts up shirt] No belt. And look- [lifts hem of pants] Open-toed shoes.
Sam: [sarcasticly] Wow, you're an animal.
Carly: But I thought your mom always makes you wear a belt, and never lets you wear open-toed shoes.
Freddie: Yeah, but since she's been taking care of Lewbert, I can pretty much do whatever I want. Last night? Slept with my socks on.
Sam: So?
Freddie: Just my socks.
Sam: [food falls out of mouth]
TV Show: iCarly
[Spencer spills a soda on the front desk to put out a small fire. Mrs. Benson walks in]
Mrs. Benson: Hello Spencer.
Spencer: Hi Mrs. Benson.
Mrs. Benson: Any word on how Lewbert's doing?
Spencer: I've got the kids keeping an eye on him.
Mrs. Benson: Well I think it's very nice that you're covering for Lewbert while he's out.
[Mrs. Benson puts her hand on the desk]
Mrs. Benson: Why is this counter wet and sticky?
Spencer: Oh, well.. [stammers]
Mrs. Benson: Wet and sticky is very icky. Sticky and wet makes mommy upset.
Spencer: ...I don't know how to respond to that.
Mrs. Benson: Hello Spencer.
Spencer: Hi Mrs. Benson.
Mrs. Benson: Any word on how Lewbert's doing?
Spencer: I've got the kids keeping an eye on him.
Mrs. Benson: Well I think it's very nice that you're covering for Lewbert while he's out.
[Mrs. Benson puts her hand on the desk]
Mrs. Benson: Why is this counter wet and sticky?
Spencer: Oh, well.. [stammers]
Mrs. Benson: Wet and sticky is very icky. Sticky and wet makes mommy upset.
Spencer: ...I don't know how to respond to that.
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: PUT. THE BOWS. DOWN!
Carly: What's up?
Sam: Why do we have to-
Freddie: You were right! You guys were right, okay?! My mom, she...she likes Lewbert. DAAAARGHHH!!
Sam: Aw, well maybe she'll-
Freddie: NO JOKES, PUCKETT, THIS IS SERIOUS CHIZZ!
Carly: Okay. Calm down.
Freddie: I can't!
Sam: Benson...
Freddie: HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN THERE'S A POSSIBILITY THAT LEWBERT COULD BECOME MY DADDY?!
Carly: What's up?
Sam: Why do we have to-
Freddie: You were right! You guys were right, okay?! My mom, she...she likes Lewbert. DAAAARGHHH!!
Sam: Aw, well maybe she'll-
Freddie: NO JOKES, PUCKETT, THIS IS SERIOUS CHIZZ!
Carly: Okay. Calm down.
Freddie: I can't!
Sam: Benson...
Freddie: HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN THERE'S A POSSIBILITY THAT LEWBERT COULD BECOME MY DADDY?!
TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Hey guys, come on.
Carly: Where?
Spencer: Galini's pie shop!
Carly: Pie for breakfast?
Spencer: Don't say "Pie for breakfast?", say "PIE FOR BREAKFAST?!"
Carly: Where?
Spencer: Galini's pie shop!
Carly: Pie for breakfast?
Spencer: Don't say "Pie for breakfast?", say "PIE FOR BREAKFAST?!"
TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: I gotta have some coconut cream pies to go.
Mario: Eiiiy! I got to see if we have enough.
Spencer: What? You always have enough! Why would you say you don't have enough? Now I'm scared. What?
Mario: Eiiiy! I got to see if we have enough.
Spencer: What? You always have enough! Why would you say you don't have enough? Now I'm scared. What?
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: [after trying to entertain the baby with a bear costume] I thought I heard you guys up here.
Carly: Freddie? Is that you in there?
Freddie: Yeah.
Sam: Oh my gosh, the bear ate Freddie. Bad bear! [hits Freddie with an umbrella, and Freddie goes down]
Freddie: Ahhh! Never do that again!
Sam: You're not the boss of me. [hits Freddie again]
Carly: Freddie? Is that you in there?
Freddie: Yeah.
Sam: Oh my gosh, the bear ate Freddie. Bad bear! [hits Freddie with an umbrella, and Freddie goes down]
Freddie: Ahhh! Never do that again!
Sam: You're not the boss of me. [hits Freddie again]
TV Show: iCarly
Trudy: What do you say we move this party to the couch?
Spencer: Uhhhhh..... the couch is broken.
Trudy: Well why don't we go break it some more!
Spencer: Uhhhhh..... the couch is broken.
Trudy: Well why don't we go break it some more!
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: If we're not best friends, then, how would I know that you've slept with two different colored socks on your feet since you were little 'cause you think it's good luck? And how would I know that you're right-handed, but you punch harder with your left? And how would I know that your mom's foot has a tattoo on it?
Sam: A tattoo of what?
Carly: A foot.
Sam: How do you know my mom has a tattoo of a foot on her foot? How do you know all that stuff?
Carly: I told you, we're best friends.
Sam: What's my favorite color?
Carly: Brown.
Sam: Why?
Carly: It's the color of gravy.
Sam: What's my favorite junk food?
Carly: Fat cakes.
Sam: What's my favorite book?
Carly: Boogie Bear III: The Return of Boogie Bear.
Sam: what do I hate most?
Carly: People.
Sam: What do I wanna be when I grow up?
Carly: An invisible ninja.
Sam: ...wow...
Sam: A tattoo of what?
Carly: A foot.
Sam: How do you know my mom has a tattoo of a foot on her foot? How do you know all that stuff?
Carly: I told you, we're best friends.
Sam: What's my favorite color?
Carly: Brown.
Sam: Why?
Carly: It's the color of gravy.
Sam: What's my favorite junk food?
Carly: Fat cakes.
Sam: What's my favorite book?
Carly: Boogie Bear III: The Return of Boogie Bear.
Sam: what do I hate most?
Carly: People.
Sam: What do I wanna be when I grow up?
Carly: An invisible ninja.
Sam: ...wow...
TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Carly, I think you better calm down.
Carly: I don't want to calm down!
Rona: She's crazy.
Carly: I heard that, Rona!
Mrs. Benson: Can I get you some ibuprofen?
Carly: NO! (to Spencer) I just want you back! I want you the way you're supposed to be! I want you to make crazy sculptures, and to accidentally set stuff on fire, and to wear socks that light up. (to Mrs. Benson) And I want you to be single and lonely again! (to Nevel) And I want you to leave the country... (to Rona) And...nobody even likes you! (to Spencer) And...I want Sam back! (to Freddie) And I want you to be my friend and say "in five, four, three, two," but not the one, which I never understood, but I liked it! And...I just want my life back! (runs upstairs crying)
Nevel: Well. Bah, humbug.
Carly: I don't want to calm down!
Rona: She's crazy.
Carly: I heard that, Rona!
Mrs. Benson: Can I get you some ibuprofen?
Carly: NO! (to Spencer) I just want you back! I want you the way you're supposed to be! I want you to make crazy sculptures, and to accidentally set stuff on fire, and to wear socks that light up. (to Mrs. Benson) And I want you to be single and lonely again! (to Nevel) And I want you to leave the country... (to Rona) And...nobody even likes you! (to Spencer) And...I want Sam back! (to Freddie) And I want you to be my friend and say "in five, four, three, two," but not the one, which I never understood, but I liked it! And...I just want my life back! (runs upstairs crying)
Nevel: Well. Bah, humbug.
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Thank you, Mitch.
Mitch: Thank you.
Carly: Why thank me?
Mitch: Because, if it weren't for you, I would have never gotten my wings. (the computer screen shifts down to show a plate of chicken wings)
Carly: ...Chicken wings?
Mitch: Thank you.
Carly: Why thank me?
Mitch: Because, if it weren't for you, I would have never gotten my wings. (the computer screen shifts down to show a plate of chicken wings)
Carly: ...Chicken wings?
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: You handcuffed her to Gibby?!
Freddie: She put a dead fish in my locker!
Sam: Gibby's WAY worse then a dead fish!
Gibby: My mom thinks I'm awesome!
Freddie: She put a dead fish in my locker!
Sam: Gibby's WAY worse then a dead fish!
Gibby: My mom thinks I'm awesome!
TV Show: iCarly
Gibby: [screams and runs away after being handcuffed to Sam for an extended period of time]
Carly: As if Gibby's therapist didn't have enough to deal with!
Carly: As if Gibby's therapist didn't have enough to deal with!
TV Show: iCarly
[On iCarly, a fake movie trailer is being shown that the kids filmed]
Announcer: A comedy no one wants to see! Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie!
[Carly, as Kelly, falls off stool and screams]
Announcer: It's really bad!
Announcer: A comedy no one wants to see! Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie!
[Carly, as Kelly, falls off stool and screams]
Announcer: It's really bad!
TV Show: iCarly
Sam: [after Freddie shows himself to the audience] That was our technical producer Freddie, who, last week, handcuffed me to a nerd. So guess what?... [pause] Freddie's never kissed a girl. Never. Not once. I heard him say so myself and Carly's a witness.okay, Later. [walks away]
Carly: [running after Sam] Sam! Sam! You just ruined Freddie's life! [Freddie drops the camera he is holding.]
Carly: [running after Sam] Sam! Sam! You just ruined Freddie's life! [Freddie drops the camera he is holding.]
TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Well, how can I do the show now that you made me feel all depressed?
Carly: I don't know, just get in front of the camera and do it.
Carly: I don't know, just get in front of the camera and do it.
TV Show: iCarly
(Gibby throws coffee in Spencer's face)
Spencer: What was that about?!
Gibby: Well, Carly said, "If Spencer tries to be lazy, throw a cup of water in his face to perk him up."
Spencer: Right. Well, that was HOT COFFEE!
Gibby: Oh, well can I have a cup of water?
Spencer: NO!
Spencer: What was that about?!
Gibby: Well, Carly said, "If Spencer tries to be lazy, throw a cup of water in his face to perk him up."
Spencer: Right. Well, that was HOT COFFEE!
Gibby: Oh, well can I have a cup of water?
Spencer: NO!
TV Show: iCarly
Mr. Devlin: The important thing is to be proud of yourself. You need to face the world with shoulders cocked, and say, "I AM FREDDIE BENSON, AND I HAVE NEVER KISSED A GIRL!"(other students start laughing) Hey there! Stop that! Stop laughing at this unfortunate misfit!
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: You are gonna start with building up some muscle.
Spencer: I have muscle.
Carly: Do you?
Spencer: Yes.
Carly: Then take off your shirt and jump up and down.
Spencer: I don't wanna.
Carly: Why not?
Spencer: 'Cause I'll jiggle.
Spencer: I have muscle.
Carly: Do you?
Spencer: Yes.
Carly: Then take off your shirt and jump up and down.
Spencer: I don't wanna.
Carly: Why not?
Spencer: 'Cause I'll jiggle.
TV Show: iCarly
[on iCarly]
Carly: And now, what you've all been waiting for...
Sam: Carly and I are about to have our very first...
Carly and Sam: MEATBALL WAR!
Sam: With our slingshots...
Carly: And a hundred meatballs!
Sam: But um... before we start our meatball war, I wanna say something. On the last iCarly... I told you guys that Freddie never kissed anyone and... that was really personal and I shouldn't say it on the show. And for all you people out there who's been teasing Freddie about it, lay off! Because I bet a whole lot of you haven't kissed anyone either... including me. Yeah. That's right, I've never kissed anyone. So if you want to tease someone about it, tease me. Which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital!
Carly: And now, what you've all been waiting for...
Sam: Carly and I are about to have our very first...
Carly and Sam: MEATBALL WAR!
Sam: With our slingshots...
Carly: And a hundred meatballs!
Sam: But um... before we start our meatball war, I wanna say something. On the last iCarly... I told you guys that Freddie never kissed anyone and... that was really personal and I shouldn't say it on the show. And for all you people out there who's been teasing Freddie about it, lay off! Because I bet a whole lot of you haven't kissed anyone either... including me. Yeah. That's right, I've never kissed anyone. So if you want to tease someone about it, tease me. Which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital!
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: [makes short laughing type noise]
Sam: What?
Freddie: Nothing it's,
Sam: Tell me!
Freddie: Nah it's dumb
Sam: Say it!
Freddie: Ok. I was gonna say..
Sam: That we should kiss?
Freddie: [looking down] You're going to break my arm now right.
Sam: [shakes head] No.
Freddie: Well...should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?
Sam: Hm. Just to get it over with.
Freddie: Just to get it over with.
Sam: And you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over with.
Freddie: Oh totally, and we never tell anyone.
Sam: Never [pause] well, lean
Sam: What?
Freddie: Nothing it's,
Sam: Tell me!
Freddie: Nah it's dumb
Sam: Say it!
Freddie: Ok. I was gonna say..
Sam: That we should kiss?
Freddie: [looking down] You're going to break my arm now right.
Sam: [shakes head] No.
Freddie: Well...should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?
Sam: Hm. Just to get it over with.
Freddie: Just to get it over with.
Sam: And you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over with.
Freddie: Oh totally, and we never tell anyone.
Sam: Never [pause] well, lean
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Well that was..
Sam: Nice
Freddie: Yeah, nice, uh.
Sam: Good work.
Freddie: Thank you, you too.
Sam: Nice
Freddie: Yeah, nice, uh.
Sam: Good work.
Freddie: Thank you, you too.
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Hey. [Sam turns back around. Freddie smiles] I hate you.
Sam: [Makes short laugh noise. Smiles] Hate you too. [Leaves]
Sam: [Makes short laugh noise. Smiles] Hate you too. [Leaves]
TV Show: iCarly
[Sam grabs Freddie by the collar]
Sam: I don't play to get even. [jerks Freddie towards her] Mama plays to win.
Sam: I don't play to get even. [jerks Freddie towards her] Mama plays to win.
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Wait a minute...why do you have that printed out?
Nevel: Because I like to print things.
Freddie: No...you'd only print that out if you knew you were gonna need it.
Sam: Yeah. How did you know there was gonna be a problem getting you the car?
Nevel: Oh, please. I don't have time to be interviewed.
Nevel: Because I like to print things.
Freddie: No...you'd only print that out if you knew you were gonna need it.
Sam: Yeah. How did you know there was gonna be a problem getting you the car?
Nevel: Oh, please. I don't have time to be interviewed.
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: So where's our couch?
Spencer: YOU KNOW THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN COUCHES, OKAY?
Carly: What?
Spencer: I don't know...
Spencer: YOU KNOW THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN COUCHES, OKAY?
Carly: What?
Spencer: I don't know...
TV Show: iCarly