Rose Lee: Mary, now you know I am a very understanding person.
Sandra: HA!
Rose Lee: But I told Sandra if she didn't have that rent money by the end of the week, she was out of here!
Sandra: And after all the favors I've done for her!
Rose Lee: Favors? What favors?
Sandra: What about last week? You were feeling kind of low. You spent all that money on a new dress and you didn't know if it was attractive. You came to me for help, and I looked you straight in the eye and said it was gorgeous. [smugly]
Sandra: I lied, Rose.

TV Show: 227
[Sandra is paying rent to Rose]
Sandra: Three months' rent.
Rose Lee: Good, now you're only two months behind!

TV Show: 227
[Julian asks Mary about painting the master bedroom]
Julian: It's House and Condo's Color of the Month.
Mary: I don't care if it's Baskin Robbins flavor of the month! You are not painting our bedroom passion purple!
Lester: Passion Purple, Are you Crazy?
Travis: Cheap! $3.95 a gallon and they threw in the beret!
Julian: Balderdash!

TV Show: 227
Brenda Jenkins: [about Calvin] Well, he's hot.
Mary: That boy's 16 and you're barely 14.
Brenda: So? When I'm 20, he'll be 22.
Mary: Fine. Call him then.

TV Show: 227
[The doorman from across the street walks over to Mary and Rose]
Doorman: It was such a shock. Mr. Calloway, dying so suddenly.
Rose: Yes, it was.
Doorman: Did he die of anything serious?
Mary: He stopped breathin'.

TV Show: 227
Mary Jenkins: [to Sandra Clark] I was here when you came, baby, and I will be here when you're gone!

TV Show: 227
[Mary and Rose are sitting on milk crates, gossiping on the front stoop of 227.]
Rose Lee Holloway: I heard the O'Briens had another crack in their living room wall.
Mary: Girl... [motions for her to move her crate closer] ...I heard the O'Briens got a crack in their marriage.
Rose: No!
Mary: Oh, yes!
Rose: No! I can't believe it! They just celebrated their silver anniversary!
Mary: Well, I can tell you one thing; they ain't goin' for the gold.

TV Show: 227
Rose: Sandra, at that theatrical agency you work for, do you see many celebrities?
Sandra Clark: I'm the receptionist. I see them all.
Mary: And they see all of her.

TV Show: 227
Mary: [about Sandra] Oh, she makes me sick. She sure loves to flaunt it.
Pearl Shay: [sticks her head out her window] Don't you wish you had it?
Mary: Girl, you know what they call women like that.
Pearl: Yeah. Lucky.

TV Show: 227
Mary: [to Brenda and Tiffany, Rose's daughter] You girls finish your homework?
Brenda: Yep, and you know what? I thought I just might make dinner tonight. You deserve a break.
Mary: [holds Brenda back, who was planning on walking off] You bein' awfully nice, young lady. Now just what is it you're gonna ask me that I'm not gonna like that you're gonna die if I don't do?
Tiffany Holloway: Well, we just want to know if we could go to the movies tonight.
Mary: On a school night? Did Rose say you could go?
Tiffany: She said it was all right with her if it was all right with you, and please, Mrs. Jenkins. It's with Eddie Murphy!

TV Show: 227
Lawyer: [reading Mr. Calloway's will] I, therefore, with a clear conscience, leave 227, lock, stock, and barrel... [Sandra, who is expecting to inherit the building, stands up and smiles] ...to the woman who makes the best apple pie I've ever tasted.
Sandra: Apple pie?! We never used apple pie!

TV Show: 227
Mary: [on the phone with the telephone company] But I didn't make the call...I'd remember talking an hour to Hawaii...Do I sound like I have relatives in Hawaii?...Do I sound like I'm gonna pay for this call?...Well, you do that. You call those people and ask them if they know me. Because if they do, I know who we'll be droppin' in on this Christmas.

TV Show: 227
Sandra: You know your problem, Mary? You just don't have enough couth. That's why I'm thinkin' of maybe goin' condo. Get a better class of people in here.
Mary: I'm glad to hear it. When are you moving?

TV Show: 227
[Pearl returns from her high school reunion]
Mary: Oh, Pearl!
Pearl: Good mornin'.
Mary: So, how was the reunion?
Pearl: Well, fine, if you like break dancing.
Mary: Break dancing? At your reunion?
Pearl: Uh-huh. Every time we danced, somethin' broke.

TV Show: 227
[Sandra joins Rose and Mary on the stoop.]
Sandra: Sandra is here.
Mary: Should we kneel?

TV Show: 227
Sandra: I lost my job. I got fired yesterday. I'm out of work! They showed me the door and said go! Oooooooh! [sticks out lip, looks at Mary] Thank goodness I have friends like you... [switches to Rose] ...I mean you.

TV Show: 227
[Sandra is late to a dinner Mary fixed for her]
Sandra: I hope I'm not too early.
Mary: Believe me, you're not.
Sandra: Oh, good. It's so gauche to be early. I just hate gauche, don't you?
Mary: Gauche is fine when it's on time.

TV Show: 227
Sandra: Now, Mary, it would be a lovely world if everybody went around sticking notes on cars. "Excuse me, I believe I hit your car." "Pardonnez-moi, I may have smashed your window and stolen your radio." But they don't, and that's why God created insurance companies, Mary.

TV Show: 227
Sandra: Mary, I had plans for this building. I was going to give it class. Distinction. Jacuzzis.

TV Show: 227
Various Characters (Rose, Lester, etc.): My name's Bennett, and I ain't in it!

TV Show: 227
[Brenda is surprised that her father still isn't back from a basketball game]
Brenda: Honestly, Mom, I don't understand how men can spend a good part of the night watching a bunch of boring, self-centered showoffs.
Mary: I know.
[Brenda looks at her watch]
Brenda: Hey, mom, it's nine o'clock! Dynasty's on!

TV Show: 227
Brenda: Mom, can I go upstairs to Tiffany's and watch television?
Mary: On a school night?
Brenda: It's "oldies-but-goodies" night on MTV. They're showing Michael Jackson and Prince!

TV Show: 227
[On Family Feud, Sandra is picked to play in the Fast Money round.]
Ray Combs: Sandra, you have 15 seconds to answer these questions and win $10,000.
Sandra: Ooh, I'm so nervous! Can you imagine what I can do with $10,000?
Mary: [dryly] Yeah, pay for your funeral.
Ray Combs: You're not gonna share it with the rest of your teammates?
Sandra: Oh. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine what I can do with $9,000?
Mary: Have a cheaper funeral.
Ray Combs: All right, don't be nervous, say the first thing that comes to your mind. Name something--
Sandra: Eggs!
Ray Combs: Let me finish. Name something you must have in order to live.
Sandra: A man.
Ray Combs: One of the seven wonders of the world.
Sandra: A rich man.
Ray Combs: Something that improves with age.
Sandra: A young man.
Ray Combs: A Christmas present you'd exchange.
Sandra: A...old man.
Ray Combs: A condemned person's last request.
Sandra: Any man!
[buzzer dings, Sandra smiles and crosses her fingers]
Ray Combs: That's 15 seconds. Let's see how you did. Something you must have in order to live. You said a man. Our survey said...
[buzzer makes abrupt "wrong" sound effect, Sandra continues to be hopeful and crosses her fingers]
Ray Combs: Zero. Your second answer was a rich man. Our survey said...
[buzzer makes abrupt "wrong" sound effect, Sandra looks sad but still crosses her fingers]
Ray Combs: Zero. Third answer was a young man. Our survey said...
[buzzer makes abrupt "wrong" sound effect]
Ray Combs: Oh. A Christmas present you'd exchange. You said an old man. Our survey said...

TV Show: 227