iCarly Quotes

Spencer: (seeing the plant Carly accidentally killed) YOU'RE A PLANT MURDERER!

TV Show: iCarly
[Carly and Missy squeal and hug repeatedly]
Sam: Are you gonna do that every day?

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: [about Sam being paranoid] And last year you were sure Gibby was a mermaid.
Sam: He hates wearing shirts! Coincidence?

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: I feel like butt! (coughs) Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?
Freddie: No, I said, "Sam, don't lick the swing set," and you said, "Don't tell me what to do, Benson," and then you licked the swing set.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: [about the expiration date of a box of chocolates] I can't read this. It's written in...foreign.
Sam: Well I looked it up, it says 1992. That chocolate's older than the Fresh Prince of Bel Air!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: What are you doing?! (swats a piece of Persian chocolate out of Sam's hand)
Sam: Having a piece of Persian chocolate.
Carly: You said it was a stomach bomb!
Sam: But it's so good. (she tries to take another, but Carly swats that out too)

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: ...Why did I pick THAT for my ringtone?!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Those dingo people are dead!
Carly: What are we going to do?
Sam: We're gonna go find them and kick them in their dingoes!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Okay, next person who says bowels sleeps in the bathtub!
Hobo: BOWELS! I got the bathtub!
Carly: No! No, no no no no. (she runs and closes the window shades)

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Let's shake 'em up.
Carly: Woah woah woah, what is that?
Sam: A sock full of butter.
Carly: We're not gonna go in there and hit TV writers with a big buttery sock! We gotta be professional.
Sam: Fine, but if they deny stealing ideas from iCarly, I'm gonna get swingy with this thing!
Carly: Not unless I say it's okay.

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Why else would you keep a cryogenic freezer like that?
Freddie: Cryogenic frozen pizzas?

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: May I get swingy?
Carly: Yes.
(Sam whacks a Totally Terri writer with a sock filled with butter)

TV Show: iCarly
Mr. Howard: Wearing a turtleneck is a violation of school rules.
Carly: Oh, I can't wear a turtleneck, but he can be shirtless?
Gibby: Check the handbook. (he gives it to Carly)

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: No fudge balls were harmed during this web show.
Sam: Yeah, they were.
Carly: Oh, right, a man sat on them.

TV Show: iCarly
Principal Franklin: I´ve been fired.
Sam and Freddie: What?! Why?!
Sam: Dude, we gotta stop doing that...

TV Show: iCarly
[Everyone is standing in front of Locker 239]
Freddie: I could fit a whole editing bay in there...
Sam: You could fit a body in there...
[Everyone looks at her oddly]
Sam: If one needed to!

TV Show: iCarly
Principal Franklin: Yes Gibby, you have a question.
Gibby: Yes. How many fat cakes are in that container?
Principal Franklin: Oh Gibby, there's so much not right about you.

TV Show: iCarly
Principal Franklin: Before I announce the winner, I feel compelled to tell you the worst guess, which was 5. [holds up a piece of paper with Gibby's name and the number five on it]
Gibby: I won?! I won! [starts taking off his shirt]
Principal Franklin: No Gibby, you didn't win. In fact, your guess was so far off that we're calling your parents and having you tested.
Gibby: Again?

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: What did you do to my locker?!
Sam: MY locker.
Freddie: OUR locker!
Sam: When did you turn into my wife?

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: You're overreacting!
Carly: No, the head of security said, "You're never allowed back in this community center ever again"!
Spencer: People forget!
Carly: They took our pictures and thumbprints!
Spencer: ...Yeah, they're never letting us back in there.

TV Show: iCarly
[during the iCarly webcast]
Sam: I call this video "Gullible Freddie." Check this out.
[In the video, Freddie walks into Ridgeway dressed up as a clown. Everyone laughs]
Freddie: Hey! Why aren't you guys dressed as clowns?! [Carly and Sam burst out laughing]
Sam: What do you mean?
Freddie: I got an email from the school telling me that today was clown day. Didn't you guys get-- you guys sent me the email.
Carly: [points to Sam] She made me!
Freddie: Wait, is this on camera? GIBBY, COME HERE! [screen goes to static]

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: People care what I think!
Mr. Howard: No, they don't.
Freddie: Yes, sir...

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Sam would rather chew broken glass then go out on a date with me for a whole Saturday night, no way she's going through with this!
Carly: You asked Melanie.
Freddie: OOOKAAAYYY. You can pretend I'm going on a date with Melanie, but I know... I've got a date with Sam. [chokes on smoothie and coughs it out]
Carly: What?!
Freddie: I'VE GOT A DATE WITH SAM!
T-Bo: You wanna buy a pickle?
Freddie: NO!

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: So, Melanie... you look pretty hot tonight.
Melanie: Thanks! I love your shirt!
Freddie: No, you don't. Carly said you hate stripes!
Melanie: Sam hates stripes.
Freddie: How long are you gonna keep this up?! [pushes Melanie on her shoulder] Just admit you're Sam and we can leave!
Melanie: I would, ow... [rubs her shoulder] ...but I'm not Sam!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Ginger Fox has no talent!
Freddie: She can't do anything!
Sam: Maybe it's best they don't know.
Spencer: I feel like I kissed Gibby.

TV Show: iCarly
[Freddie and Melanie are slow-dancing]
Freddie: I can't believe you're doing this.
Melanie: Why? I like you!
Freddie: You hate me; you always have!
Melanie: Maybe Sam hates you.
Freddie: You ARE Sam!
Melanie: Really? Would Sam do this? [kisses Freddie on the lips]
Freddie: You swore we'd never do that again!
Melanie: I didn't swear anything.
[Freddie becomes extremely paranoid and runs away; Melanie chases him]

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: How could you make out with Freddie?
Melanie: He's adorable!
Carly: I can't believe the two of you are sisters.
Sam & Melanie: Me neither.

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Hey. Which one of these shirts do you think I should wear tomorrow?
Carly: To where?
Spencer: Prison.
Freddie: Prison?
Carly: Oh my God, what did you download?
Spencer: Nothing...yeah, nothing... That's not why I'm going to prison?
Carly: So why are you going?
Spencer: I'm up for a job where I teach prisoners useful skills so when they get out they don't have to go back to a life of crime.
Sam: Yeah, why would a dude rob a bank when he could build a robot out of soda bottles?

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Okay, calm down-
Carly: NEVER TELL A GIRL TO CALM DOWN! Guys always tell girls to calm down, and it never works! It just gets us all whipped up. You see me all whipped up now?! IT'S 'CAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO CALM DOWN!!!!!!!!
Spencer: You know, most guys have to get married to suffer this kind of abuse.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Why so jumpy?
Freddie: 'Cause you blasted me in the head with pressurized air!
Carly: I was here, I know what happened.

TV Show: iCarly