iCarly Quotes

Freddie: Oh and uh, just for the record, the only reason you pinned me down like that is 'cause I wasn't ready.
Carly: Are you ready now?
Freddie: Yeah, why? (she pins him to the ground again as he struggles to break free from her) ...Can we please not tell anyone about this?

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Mr. Devlin is like the strictest teacher ever.
Spencer: I know...he used to be the lunch monitor. He gave me detention.
Freddie: What for?
Spencer: Playing with my fruit.

TV Show: iCarly
Principal Franklin: Sam, just sit and try not to break anything.
Sam: No promises.

TV Show: iCarly
Teacher: Please complete exercises 7 and 9.
Carly: What about number 8?
Teacher: [whining] I'm in charge!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Then let me reprint it on paper that is completely hole-free!
Mr. Devlin: Reports can only be turned in once. Silly little truffle.

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: One more thing.
Carly: What?!
Spencer: (holds up a pair of clippers) ...There's an A stuck to your butt. (takes it off her)
Carly: That's so embarassing!

TV Show: iCarly
Principle Franklin: Hello, Sam.
Sam: Mornin', Ted.
Principle Franklin: Sam...
Sam: [falsely cheerful] Good morning Principle Franklin!
Principal Franklin: So, Sam. Tell me, what has gotten you into trouble this week?
Sam: Uhh, I got yelled at by Ms. Briggs for failing a quiz.
Principal Franklin: Why did you fail the quiz?
Sam: I didn't know the answers.
Principal Franklin: Right. Anything else?
Sam: Uhh, I got kicked out of the cafeteria for slapping Gibby with a piece of pizza.
Principle Franklin: Why did you slap Gibby with a piece of pizza?
Sam: I found it on the floor; I wasn't gonna eat it.

TV Show: iCarly
Security Officer: We need to speak to a legal parent or guardian.
Carly: Spencer!
Spencer: [from another room] I AM IN THE BATHTUB!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: [to the security officers] Are you going to take us to juvie?
Freddie: I don't want to go to juvie!
Carly: They're gonna take us to juvie! [they both start crying]

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: I didn't really get straight A's!
Spencer: Huh?
Carly: (talking fast) Mr. Devlin gave me a B+, then Sam changed my grade in the school's computer. Freddie and I tried to change it back, that's why the CSA came here. I lied to Principal Franklin, I made Karen Yamakao cry, and my hair is falling out! Look at it! (takes a small bit of her hair off)
Spencer: So I have to take apart my big A again?

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: [picks up show idea card] "Carly and Sam roll Freddie in bread crumbs and bake him at 350 degrees?
[Freddie looks at Sam in shock]
Sam: Just until he's golden brown!

TV Show: iCarly
[Spencer is finished setting up a drum set and begins drumming, which causes it to fall apart shortly afterwards]
Spencer: ...I rock too hard.

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Want to see me rock out?
[Carly and Sam agree. Spencer starts playing the drums and one of the cymbals mysteriously bursts into flames]
Spencer: How can that even happen?!
[Carly gets the fire extinguisher and extinguishes the cymbal]

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Hey, can I sleep over tonight?
Carly: You don't want to go home?
Sam: Nah... When my mom buys a new bikini, she usually likes to wear it around the house for a few days to "break it in." If you're my friend, you won't make me see that.

TV Show: iCarly
[after Spencer's new "invention" bursts into flames]
Carly: Electrical wiring just isn't your thing.
Spencer: No, it is not.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: (reading the band's letter to Spencer) "Dear Splinter."
Spencer: He never did learn my name.
Carly: "Thanks for getting us booked on Seattle Beat. You rock for that. Unfortunately, your drumming is suckish." Aw?
Spencer: That's where I said "Aw", too.
Carly: "So we've decided to go ahead with our appearance on Seattle Beat, but we're kicking you out of the band. Also, we took the rest of the deviled eggs and stole your drums. Take care, Blake." Well, that wasn't nice at all.
Spencer: Nope.
Carly: I'm sorry.
Spencer: Thanks. I'm just sitting here, listening to their music.
Carly: Well don't do that! They're mean people.
Spencer: I know. But their music is so good! (crying) THEY TOOK MY DRUMS!

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Do you even know what Harry Joyner looks like?
Carly: Yeah, you know, he looks like a man, with a face and hair...
Sam: Yeah, I have an uncle that looks a lot like that.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Spencer, it's been four hours. I think you need to get off the kitchen table?
Spencer: Why? Is Santa Claus here to tell my I'm ugly and have no friends?
Carly: Spencer, get up. [tries to move Spencer] Come on, get off the table.
Spencer: [at the same time] No... I'm comfy right... [screams and falls to the floor] Ow.
Carly: You weren't supposed to fall on the floor.
Spencer: Well, you know... gravity.

TV Show: iCarly
Ms. Benson: Freddie, you didn't sign the shampoo agreement. How do I know if you double pooed?
Freddie: [looking at Sam] And you thought I was kidding.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Hello, people of Earth who own computers!
Sam: Congratulations, you have just signed on to iCarly.com!
Carly: So kick back, take off your socks, and enjoy this fine webcast!
Sam: I'm Carly!
Carly: And I'm Sam!
Carly: Wait.
[Carly and Sam switch places]
Carly: I'm Carly!
Sam: And I'm Sam!
Carly & Sam: We were momentarily confused!

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Should I use more here?
Joyner: Don't ask me! You use as much as you need!
Spencer: But I want your artistic input!
Joyner: You don't need my input!
Spencer: I crave it!
Joyner: I crave a hamburger!
Spencer: I'll make you a hamburger as soon as we're done!
Joyner: All right.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: I would've been here sooner, but, uh, I was helping my mom knit a sweater. Any comment?
Sam: Aw, please let me insult you once for free!
Freddie: Nope! Five bucks an insult!
Sam: Then I think it's very sweet you were helping your mommy knit.
Freddie: Impressive.
Sam: You're just lucky I'm broke.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: You should ask him to hang out!
Sam: Nah, a guy like that wouldn't want to hang out with someone like me.
Carly: Why not? He makes chicken noises and bothers other children. He's perfect for you!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Please? For me?
Freddie: Don't do that.
Carly: What?
Freddie: You think every time you say "Please? For me?" I'll do whatever you want, well not this time.
Carly: Please? For me?
Freddie: Okay.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Oh, give her a break. And be happy for Sam. She hasn't had a boyfriend since fifth grade when Frankie Murkin rudely dumped her.
Freddie: She broke Frankie's leg.
Carly: Yes! And then he rudely dumped her!

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Well...I know how we could get back at her.
Carly: Huh?
Freddie: You and I should start dating. That way-
Carly: (irritated) FREDDIE!
Freddie: I know...

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: What's this?
Sam: Lunch.
Carly: Low-fat cheese in a can? This is what your mom gave you for lunch?
Sam: Hey, I'm just happy she got up before noon.

TV Show: iCarly
[Sam sprays Freddie with her cheese in a can]
Sam: [Carly takes her cheese in a can out of her hand] Hey!
Carly: You can have this back when you learn to use squirtable cheese responsibly.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: What are you doing?
Jonah: Kiss me.
Carly: What?!
Jonah: Sam doesn't have to know. [tries to kiss Carly, but she flicks him] Ow! Did you just thump me?
Carly: How dare you try to kiss me when you're dating Sam! You're icky!

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Hey Spencer, how's the-
Spencer: CARLY, FREDDIE'S HERE! 14,325... [Carly runs down the stairs]
Carly: I'm freaking out, Freddie! Freaking out! [pulls Freddie to the kitchen]
Freddie: Did you talk to Jonah?
Carly: Yeah, and he tried to kiss me! He totally tried to kiss me!
Freddie: No way!
Carly: Yeah!
Freddie: Are you sure Jonah tried to kiss you?
Carly: Well, let's see. He said "Kiss me," then puckered his lips. So call me crazy, but I think the boy wanted some Carly-kissing!
Freddie: That jerk! No one tries to kiss MY girl! ...No one tries to kiss you!

TV Show: iCarly