iCarly Quotes

Mrs. Benson: We're going home to give you a tick bath!
Freddie: But I don't have ticks!
Mrs. Benson: Then the tick baths are working!
Spencer: Heh...tick bath.
Carly: [angrily] I should give you one!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Yeah, Freddie!
Sam: Kick his butt, Freddie!
Doug Toder: I don't believe it.
Mrs. Benson: Yeah?! Well, believe it, PUNK!

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: He sliced my banana!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Who's the dude?
Sam: David, I hired him to read the book to me.
Carly: Then why is he rubbing your feet?
Sam: Because he was late. So I started reading it myself and it is fantastic! These things are great! It's like TV in your head!
Carly: Well, I'm glad you like reading.But I still don't see why David's rubbing your feet.
Sam: I already paid the kid; I had to make him do something.
David: [pleading] Please call my mother.

TV Show: iCarly
Producer: [to Sam] You're fired.
Carly/Freddie: What?!
Sam: Hold on, hold on. If I'm fired do I still get paid for the whole week?
Producer: Yes.
Sam: Later. [walks out with rib]

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Wait, will there be ribs?
Producer: Do you like ribs?
Sam: [quickly] Yes, very much.

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: This is called a guava. (Spencer starts nodding head.)
Entire class: Guava. (The class starts nodding their heads.)

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: And now, Carly will spell the word "punctuality"...
Carly: While Sam screams like a girl in a horror movie about to be eaten by a monster. (which she does, as she holds her hair) P, U, N, C, T, U, A, L, I, T, Y.
Sam: (stops screaming) Nice job, Carls.
Carly: Thank you, Sam.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Poor Gibby...it must be horrible to love someone who doesn't love you back. (Freddie looks at her) ...Sorry.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: [holding up a bunch of love notes] These are love notes.
Carly: Uh-oh, from Shannon?
Freddie: Uh-huh! And try taking a test while she's staring at you like this! [makes flirty poses while smiling suggestively, imitating Shannon]
Carly: Please never make those faces again.
Freddie: What's it gonna take to make Shannon understand? I don't wanna go out with her!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Now, what did you break with the baseball?
Spencer: Nothing...
Carly: Did you kill our goldfish?
Spencer: Yes... [walking out the door] I think he wanted to die.
Carly: That fish had hopes and dreams.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Oh, hey! I uh, just got the new cable for the-(sees Ms. Ackerman in her red dress) Whoa!
Carly: ...I also said whoa.
Ms. Ackerman: Hey, Freddie, what are you doing here?
Freddie: I was just uh, coming over to help work on the webshow...with Carly...WHOA!
Carly: Okay, why don't we go upstairs before you start drooling. (pushes him upstairs)
Ms. Ackerman: Have fun, you guys.
Freddie: (while being pushed, he repeatedly looks at Ms. Ackerman) Sick.
Carly: Go!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: You gave me a F on a quiz I never took?!
Ms. Ackerman: That's right! F F F F-ity F F!
Sam: [angrily] Okay, that is jank!
Ms. Ackerman: Life is jank!

TV Show: iCarly
Ms. Ackerman: And if the vote says that we shouldn't be together... [to Spencer] THEN I HATE YOU! AND THE INTERNET! (she angrily takes her purse, opens the door, swats a small vase to the floor and leaves) Ow...
Spencer: Okay. What was the point of all this? Now she's just gonna be mean and vicious to you guys at school.
Sam: I dunno...
Freddie: Lot of people watch iCarly.
Sam: And sometimes...
Carly: We make sure certain specific people watch.
Freddie: Yes...yes we do.
Spencer: You guys are up to something and I DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT IT IS!

TV Show: iCarly
Ms. Ackerman: You set me up!
Freddie: That's a lie!
Carly: No, we set her up.
Freddie: Oh yeah. (the FBI takes Ms. Ackerman out of the room, and everyone cheers)
Sam: So, now what do we do?
Freddie: Well, we should probably tell Principal Franklin that our teacher was arrested.
Carly: Or we can go ice skating!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Hey, I thought you were Freddie.
Sam: If anyone else said that to me, i'd punch them in the mouth.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: My mom told me I couldn't go out unless my room was clean, so I locked the door, snuck out the window, and took a bus here....Got any meat?

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: This has nothing to do with Consuela!
Carly: Yes, it does! And i'm not leaving this room until you- (sparks come out of the computer) AH! I'm going downstairs! (she runs, the computer sparks again, she screams and she goes out the door)
Freddie: Carly... (sparks come out again) AHHHH!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Gary Wolf is so gorgeous.
Carly: Why does he have to be a senior? A hot, hot senior?

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: I did what you said. I shaved, I took a shower, I mailed that movie back to Webflix, I-
[The elevator opens to reveal Sasha Striker]
Spencer: Who's the girl in the sexy purple tank top?

TV Show: iCarly
Sasha: I hear you're really good. So why don't you beat me?
Spencer: Oh, you don't think I can, do you?
Sasha: I know you can't. But I like a challenge.
Spencer: You know, I feel scared and attracted to you at the same time.
Sam: Are you guys gonna make out, or play some Pak-Rat?

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: STOP WATCHING THE VIDEO GAME CHANNEL, YA BIG BUNCH OF LOSERS! YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIVES! GET A JOB, KISS A GIRL, DO SOMETHING! (to the news reporter) No offense.

TV Show: iCarly
Sasha: Nice game.
Spencer: Thanks. Back atcha.
Sasha: You wanna go for a ride?
Spencer: I would love to. [sees Carly, Sam, and Freddie looking at him] But, this is all I can give you right now. [kisses Sasha]
Sasha: [steps on the elevator] Call me.
Spencer: We'll see.

TV Show: iCarly
(Carly is sleeping on the Pak-Rat machine after having played it all night)
Spencer: Carly? Carls? Hey?
Carly: (sleepy) Hmmmmmm?
Spencer: Did you play Pak-Rat all night?
Carly: Mm-hmm. It's so fun...
Spencer: Yeah...all right, kiddo. Go on up to bed.
Carly: Carry me... (he does) It's such a fun game...
Spenccer: I know.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Oh, man. I got another of those chain letter e-mails from Gibby.
Carly: Well, you better forward it, or you'll have all kinds of bad luck, just like Freddie did.
Sam: Freddie didn't have any bad luck.
Carly: What are you talking about?
Sam: I did all that stuff.
Carly: What? Wait. His bike falling apart?
Sam: I loosened some bolts.
Carly: His laptop smoking?
Sam: Shorted out the battery.
Carly: The pink shorts?
Sam: One red sock in his washing machine.
Carly: Okay, what about the spider on his face?
Sam: That was just lucky.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Hey.
Carly: Hi. I gotta tell you something.
Freddie: You're gonna tell me that there was no bad luck? That Sam did all that stuff to me?
Carly: How'd you know?
Freddie: Well, I didn't know when it was my pink shorts and my laptop, but I saw her loosening the bolts on my bike.
Carly: But I thought your bike fell apart while you were riding it.
Freddie: Nope, I just pretended on that one.
Carly: So you're not gonna try to get her back?
Freddie: You mean, do something devious, like sending a fake text message that looked like it came from Gary Wolf, telling her to meet him at the Crown Ridge Mall?
Carly: I didn't know you could be so bad.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: You squished my trackpad finger!
Carly: That's not something a cool person says.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Are you having some kind of lip seizure?
Carly: I'm trying to blend coconut lip gloss and pineapple lip gloss to create a Piña Colada flavor. [rubs lips together] I realize this isn't attractive.
Freddie: Actually, it kinda is. So, does it taste like Piña Colada?
Carly: You wanna try?
Freddie: Yes!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: (reading a text message) "Sam did nothing wrong. She didn't do the thing you're mad about. She's not that kind of...girf."
Principal Franklin: Girf?
Sam: Girl!
Carly: Well you wrote girf!

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: CARLY! Carly, come down here! CARLY! CARLY!
Carly: Spencer, it's six in the morning!
Spencer: I know, but i've got big news!
Carly: I can't take you seriously when you're wearing duck pajama pants. (Spencer pulls down his pants) ...Duck boxers?

TV Show: iCarly