iCarly Quotes

Sam: Aw, look who's all grumpy cause he didn't get paired up with Carly for his little science project.
Freddie: Untrue.
Sam: True.
Freddie: So?

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Just walk towards me, you nutty little chick!
Sam: Try to grab him!
Carly: [sarcastically] Wow, if only I'd thought of that!

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: It says that baby chicks need to be kept at 90 degrees.
Carly: What's the temperature in here?
Spencer: 72.
Carly: Turn the heat up to 90!
Spencer: 90 degrees?
Sam: No, 90 pickles. Yes, 90 degrees!
Spencer: No need to be hurtful.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: You know, they say when a girl constantly rips on a guy, it really just means she has a crush on him.
Sam: Yeah, but I wasn't ripping on a guy...I was ripping on you.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Guess what else I have?
Freddie: Pimples on your butt? (after a brief silence, he runs out of the room)
Sam: He was smart to run.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: OH MY GOD, he must have charged you a fortune!
Sam: ZERO, I traded him the shirt you gave me for the tickets.
Carly: (pauses) You traded the shirt?
Sam: Yeah. Knuckle touch! (she holds a fist out)
Carly: ...I'm not touching your knuckles!
Sam: Why? They're clean; I washed them yesterday!

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Carly's not home yet.
Freddie: I know. But can I still come in though?
Spencer: Do you need to borrow money?
Freddie: No.
Spencer: Please come in. (he does) What's the matter? You look glum.
Freddie: I am glum.
Spencer: Why so glum?
Freddie: Can we stop saying glum?
Spencer: Sure.
Freddie: Carly and Sam are still fighting.
Spencer: Yeah, i've been worried about Carly. She's been really glum...glumpy.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: First off, Carly said the shirt was no big deal. And the tickets I got were for Cuddlefish, a concert that Carly had been dying to go to! It's her favorite band!
Freddie: Let the record show that Carly is fond of Cuddlefish.
Sam: So yeah I traded the shirt, but it was to get something Carly wanted a lot. Something the two of us could've done together! And Carly refused to go to the concert so-
Carly: I would've gone with you if you'd just apologized!
Sam: Oh, she interrupted! Yank her ponytail!
Freddie: Nah, I'm gonna allow it.
Sam: Why?
Freddie: Because I love her!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Don't you give me ultimatums!
Sam: Don't use words I can't understand!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Carly, Freddie, this is my personal chef, Sonya.
Sonya: Yohoo.
Carly: What?!
Freddie: You hired a personal chef?!
Sam: Well, my mom doesn't feed me... and since I have some real money now, why not? Sonya, make me a grilled cheese sandwich with tomatoes.
Sonya: Yes, Miss Sam!
Carly: I like grilled cheese sandwiches with tomatoes.
Sam: Make that two, Sonya.
Sonya: Yes, Miss Sam!
Freddie: I like grilled cheese sandwiches with tomatoes.
Sam: Tough nubs.

TV Show: iCarly
Daka President: Well, you know when you put out a new shoe, they always have a few minor problems.
Sam: Minor?
Freddie: What would be a major problem?
Carly: If they came to life in the middle of the night and ate your family?
Daka President: I live alone.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: My uncle happens to be a lawyer!
Carly: I thought he got arrested.
Sam: Shhhhhh!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: And wait til you see this...
Carly: For those cold winter days,
Sam: ...every Techfoot comes with a built-in toe warmer!
Carly: And if you turn the toe warmer on high-
Sam: Like this...
[Sam pushes several buttons on the front of the shoe and its tip begins to glow red]
Carly: Then bang it on a table...
[Sam bangs the shoe on the table, and then the shoe sparks and catches on fire]
Sam: [sarcastically] It magically catches on fire!
Carly: Isn't that handy?
Sam: That'll keep your piggies warm!
Carly: And not only that... [the two are handed hot dogs on sticks]
Sam: It's also perfect for...
Carly and Sam: [together] Roasting weenies!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: What happened to your bike?
Spencer: I chained it to the curb for just two seconds while I went to go get something and one of those street cleaner things just sucked it right in! I need some milk...
Carly: Why don't you just start riding the bus again?
Spencer: No way, from now on I'll just get around the old fashioned way.
Sam: You're going to walk everywhere?
Spencer: Nope, I'm going to blade... Later!

TV Show: iCarly
Sonya: (while the Daka Employees are giving the group money) Blueberry muffin?
Daka Employee: (takes one, but the Daka President swats it out of his hand) I'm stupid.
Sam: Keep it coming...
Freddie: This is good.
Carly: This is fun. This is a fun time.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Where are we going?
Spencer: Canada!
Carly: See, you love their bacon.
Spencer: I do!
Carly: Even if it is just ham.
Spencer: It's good ham!
Carly: All ham's good ham!

TV Show: iCarly
[Freddie and Sam sneak into the principal's office]
Sam: Dude, this is the principal's office!
Freddie: I know! I'm so bad. Look what I did! [pulls up the window blinds to reveal a spray-painted insult]
Sam: [reading the words on the window] "Freddie says: Principal Franklin-"
Sam and Freddie: "-sucks eggs!"
Freddie: Ha ha!
Sam: Impressive, that might get you double detention!
Freddie: Yep! When Principal Franklin sees that, you better believe he's gonna-
[A janitor washes the paint off the window to Freddie's horror]

TV Show: iCarly
Mr. Howard: I have ears like a hawk! I heard laughter! And I hate laughter!
Sam: I thought you hated your wife.
Mr. Howard: Her too!

TV Show: iCarly
Mr. Howard: Who slammed that locker?
Carly: Me?
Mr. Howard: Detention!
Carly: Really?
Mr. Howard: Tonight.
Carly: Yay!
Mr. Howard: Yay?
Carly: (Lower tone)Darn...

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Did I hear you say you got detention?
Carly: Yeah.
Spencer: Should I be concerned?
Carly: Not really.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Do you really think Sam's gonna make me get a tattoo of her face?
Carly: I don't know, but if she does, won't your mom freak?
Freddie: She freaked when I spilled one tiny drop of mustard on my church pants!
[Carly laughs]
Freddie: What?
Carly: Church pants!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Freddie's never late for iCarly. Are you worried?
Carly: If I wasn't worried, would I be drinking water with this expression on my face?! [she quickly takes a sip of water with a frantic expression]

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Way to poke his chest, Freddie!
Sam: POKE IT AGAIN!

TV Show: iCarly
Kid: Hey Sam, we found a tub of old mayonnaise in the dumpster by the cafeteria.
Wendy: We're gonna fill these balloons with it and throw it at Ms. Briggs' car.
Kid: Come on!
Sam: Shhh! Reading!
[Kids shrug and walk away]
Sam: Make sure you get her windshield!

TV Show: iCarly
David: Hey Sam, does your mom drive a rusty old pickup truck?
Sam: Yeah.
David: It's on fire!
Sam: Shhh! Reading!

TV Show: iCarly
[Sam hits Spencer and Freddie's swords out of their hands]
Freddie: That's a foul!
Sam: So's your social life!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Why can't you read at your house?
Sam: Cause my mom keeps screaming at the cat to get a job...yeah, I don't know.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: You coming?
Freddie: Sure, where?
Carly: Glitter Gloss.
[Freddie groans]
Spencer: What's Glitter Gloss?
Freddie: It's the most boring girly store ever! Well...next to Build-A-Bra.
Carly: Oh, let's go there too!
Sam: I hear they got new glow-in-the-dark straps!
Carly: And titanium hooks!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: I can read a book!
Freddie: Name three books you've read.
Sam: Boogie Bear, Boogie Bear Two, and Boogie Bear Three: The Return of Boogie Bear.

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: You're mad at me.
Carly: Yep.
Spencer: I'm sorry. The time just got away from us.
Carly: I wish the time had gotten away from me. But nooooo, I just spent the last two hours on Planet Dorfman!
Spencer: You have every right to be mad.
Carly: Clearly!
Spencer: But, see, Freddie's gotta fence this really mean kid named Doug Toder-
Carly: I don't wanna hear about Doug Toder!
Spencer: But-
Carly: Eh!
Spencer: But-
Carly: Eh!
Spencer: Carly-
Carly: I said, "eh"!

TV Show: iCarly