iCarly Quotes

Carly: What's wrong with you, Nevel?! Why is your lifelong dream to get rid of iCarly?!
Nevel: It's not. My lifelong dream is to open my own haberdashery.
Freddie: What is a haberdashery?
Nevel: Oh, why does EVERYONE ask that?! (he starts to walk off, but goes back to them and talks fast) ...A haberdashery is a men's retail shop that sells men's accessories such as wallets, hats, buttons, belts, ribbons, and zippers!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: ...I know that look. That's your thinking look.
Spencer: Oh, i'm thinking. You thinking?
Sam: Yeah, i'm thinking we think of the same thing?
Spencer: We are, if we're thinking about a way to give Nevel a vehicle that's never been state registered and can go 25 miles an hour.
Sam: Oh...no. I was thinking about fried chicken.

TV Show: iCarly
Nevel: What, and you think that rolling space turd will get iCarly off the hook?
Carly: Yeah.
Sam: We think it will. (to Carly) Carly, would you say this vehicle is...unique?
Carly: Oh, it is clearly unique. (to Freddie) Freddie, has it ever been state registered?
Freddie: Why, no, Carly, it hasn't.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: You think he did 25 miles an hour?
Spencer: Oh yeah.
Mr. Bullock: You can't do that kind of damage to a flower shop unless you go at least 25. (an ambulance can be heard off screen)

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Freddie, be quiet. Sam, stop licking technology!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: You've gotta get a girlfriend.
Freddie: I know. ...Um-
Carly: No.
Freddie: Yep.

TV Show: iCarly
David Archuleta: Should we tell them what room?
Carly: I don't think we should
David: [pleased] Room 513.
Carly: Thats room five one three! [holds up fingers for each number]

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: [about Spencer] He's a terrible liar. One time we--
Spencer: Don't tell the story!
Carly: I'm telling the story! One time we were going to ride roller-coasters on a school day, and when Spencer came to get me, he told Ms. Briggs he was taking me to the doctor. So Ms. Briggs says "Which one?" and Spencer said...
Spencer: [meekly] Dr. Roller-coaster.
Carly: And guess what I didn't get to ride that day.

TV Show: iCarly
(Carly arrives in the elevator wearing a silver dress)
Carly: Hey, do you think this dress is a little too..."saucy"?
Freddie: It's a music video. You have to look hotter than you usually do.
Carly: Why, thank you.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: I don't wanna do this anymore.
Carly: We have to! His mom needs surgery, and if it weren't for us he'd have a big record deal and lots of money and stop drooling over those girls!

TV Show: iCarly
Wade Collins: You are all a bunch of hob-knockers!
Carly: Hob-knockers?
Wade: I'm going downstairs to get some yah-gurt.
Carly: Yah-gurt?
Freddie: Um, We're in the middle of shooting YOUR music video!
Wade: No, you're all busy worshiping that filthy little beast! UGH! Why are all Americans such IDIOTS?! [slams door]
Spencer: I thought we were hob-knockers.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: So, Dave, what was it like hanging it out with Wade Collins?
David Archuleta: Oh, you know, he's...okay.
Carly: You don't like him, do you?
David: Not really, no.
Sam: Let it out, David.
David: Well, he called me a hob-knocker. I don't even know what that means.
Carly: [whispers the meaning of hob-knocker into David's ear]
David: Oh! Gross!
Sam: And illegal.

TV Show: iCarly
Wade Collins: [in a YouTube Poop-style video] I wanted tuna fish! [knocks the plate of ham sandwich out of Carly's hand, edited to do it three times]
Scene 2
[Wade hocks and spits onto the floor]
Scene 3
Wade Collins: [screen is flashing all different colors] I've got a pimple in my ear.
Scene 4
Wade Collins: [Gibby is blow-drying his hair] Too hot! [video repeats] ...hot! [video repeats] ...hot!
Gibby: I'm sorry! [Wade takes the blowdryer, aims it at Gibby, and blows it in his face, causing him to run off]
Scene 5
Wade Collins: [screen flashes negative] You're a stupid American, Freddy. Stupid American!
Scene 6
[Wade spits again]
Scene 7
[Wade sneezes on Gibby intentionally]
Scene 8
Wade Collins: [walks by several music video-dressed girls] You're all a bunch of stupid American girls! You bunch of hob-knockers!
Scene 9
Wade Collins: I DON'T CARE ABOUT MUSIC! I WANT MONEY! [screen turns green, echoing "MONEY!"]
Scene 10
[Wade spits again]
Scene 11
Wade Collins: [screams at a bystander] HOB-- HOB-- HOB-KNOCKER!
Scene 12
Wade Collins: [eating spaghetti] I have to look beautiful! Jibley [Gibby]!
Scene 13
[Wade growls at the camera]
Scene 14
Wade Collins: I hate children, I hate teenagers, I hate animals, AND I HATE AMERICA!
[video ends]
Carly: [sarcastically] Isn't he charming?

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: I stopped wearing antibacterial underpants and i'm entitled to my opinion.
Carly: And it's my opinion that we're out of time anyway!
Sam: So 'till the next iCarly...
Carly: Stay in school!
Sam: Recycle!
Carly: Pour milk on your parents.
Sam: Hug a duck.
Carly: Eat a stick of butter.
Sam: And shampoo a squirrel.

TV Show: iCarly
Fred: Why won't this cabbage speak Spanish? MUCHACHO!

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Will my phone ring in the next five seconds? (shakes the Magic Meatball)
Magic Meatball: The answer is no. (Sam laughs lightly)
Spencer: ...Spooky, huh?

TV Show: iCarly
Fred: Hey, it's me. If you saw the last iCarly, then you heard Freddie Benson say he doesn't like my Fred videos.
Freddie: (on playback) 'Cause I don't think Fred is all that funny.
Fred: Thank you for crushing my feelings. Now, i'm not gonna post any more Fred videos. Ever, again. Internet, I click you goodbye.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Why are you drinking ketchup?
Spencer: My magic meatball told me to.

TV Show: iCarly
(there is a paint writing on the lockers that says "iCARLY KILLED FRED!")
Carly: Why are they blaming our whole show? It's all Freddie's fault!
Freddie: Hey!
Carly: Well...
Freddie: Well, it's way worse for me! I've been kicked out of everything except the junior bow and arrow club. (a fiery arrow hits a locker near him, and he takes a letter off of it) ...I'm out.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Why pick on me?
Sam: Two reasons. Number one, I looooooove it...number two, this whole fight between iCarly and Fred is YOUR FAULT!
Freddie: I just said I didn't think his videos were all that funny! He's the one who overreacted and started this whole brouhaha!
Sam: Brouhaha?
Carly: You can't say things like brouhaha and not expect people to hit you.

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: (on the phone) Because, I just don't see what's funny about Fred. It's not my fault he quit! Hey, you don't have to call me names. Oh yeah? WELL, YOU'RE A BIGGER ONE! (angrily hangs up)
Carly: Who was that?
Freddie: My Aunt Jennifer.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Uh, what you got there?
Spencer: It's a smoothie.
Sam: I think she meant the gigantic bird.
Spencer: Oh. This is Marvin, he's an ostrich. I just bought him.
Carly: Your magic meatball told you to?
Spencer: Yes.

TV Show: iCarly
Reporter: Sam, is it true that you've been arrested four times?
Sam: Three times! Get your facts straight!
Carly: And GET OUT OF HERE! (as the reporters are talking, the group pushes them out, shuts the door and puts in the latch)
Spencer: AHHHHH! Marvin bit my pants!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: He's chuckling.
Carly: I see him chuckling; why are you chuckling?!
Lucas: Because you guys are cute.
Freddie: We're CUTE?

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Okay, I get it. The real problem here is that YOU'RE INSANE!
Lucas: Am I?
Carly: Um, pretty much, yeah.
Freddie: Kind of psycho.
Sam: Yep.

TV Show: iCarly
Lucas: So...are we friends?
Carly: I guess.
Lucas: You sure?
Carly: Sure.
Lucas: ...Should we kiss?
Carly: No...

TV Show: iCarly
Lucas: See? We made up.
Freddie: We're all good.
Sam: Oh, come on, you guys can do better than that.
Carly: Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! (Sam chants with her. Freddie and Lucas look at eachother and hug. Freddie pats him on the back)

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: [after being sprayed in the face with purple spray paint] Can someone bring me a tissue?

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: [reacting to Spencer saying no to her going to a MMA match] Okay, since when did you turn uncool?
Spencer: Um, when did you turn into a big baby who yells at me the first time she doesn't get what she wants?
Carly: Right when you stop giving me what I want!

TV Show: iCarly
Fake Sam: Hey, when did Freddie start looking so hot?
Real Sam: Okay, this chick is nothing like me!
Real Carly: Oh, come on, you guys could be sisters!
Real Sam: [to the fake Sam] You ever been arrested?
Fake Sam: No.
Real Sam: We cannot be related.

TV Show: iCarly