CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes


Warrick Brown: Who brings a gun to a knife fight?
Gil Grissom: The winner?

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Warrick Brown: You just don't let up, do you?
Sara Sidle: It's a flaw.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick Stokes: [Archie was talking to Nick about a Star Trek episode] You need a girlfriend.
Archie: You first.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick Stokes: [Greg opens a cupboard and pulls out a book] I thought that's where you kept your porn.
Greg Sanders: I move it around.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick Stokes: Is there anything you won't bet on, man?
Warrick Brown: Nah.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick Stokes: Mrs Hendler, do you and your husband do much rock climbing?
Amy Hendler: Yes. [points gun at Nick]
Amy Hendler: That's what I killed her with.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick Stokes: There's a sucker born every minute.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, and they all come to Vegas.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick Stokes: Well, it takes 10 minutes to drive from the clinic to Industrial Road.
Warrick Brown: Yeah?
Nick Stokes: Yeah, I had Greg run it.
Warrick Brown: [laughing] That's classic!

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick Stokes: You don't have a career without a job.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick Stokes: You need to get a girlfriend.
David Phillips: I'm engaged, but thank you.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara Sidle: Clothing, $85. Earrings, $30. Latte, $4. Getting away with murder...
Gil Grissom: Priceless.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara Sidle: Dead body! Bonus.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara Sidle: I think this print dust is getting to me. Would you mind finishing up the fridge?
Greg Sanders: Do I get a gold star?

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara Sidle: I was really into gold stars when I was a kid.
Greg Sanders: As opposed to now?

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara Sidle: Is there truly no place left in Las Vegas without slot machines?

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara Sidle: So what is it?
Hodges: Give me some time, I'm not a miracle worker.
Sara Sidle: Well, that's obvious, Hodges, or else you wouldn't be rude.
Hodges: I wasn't being rude, I was being curt. Rude would be "When I know, you'll know." Friends?
Sara Sidle: No.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: [to Hodges] So you're saying our killer had metal balls?

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: Amazing how the sight of blood can clear a room.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: Are we paying you by the word?

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: Did you hear the one about the cop and the monkey who go into a bar?
Catherine Willows: I'm not in the mood.
Gil Grissom: Neither was the monkey.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: I can't tell whether he's brilliant or nuts.
Captain Jim Brass: Sound familiar?

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: I just got a page from James Watson.
Nick Stokes: And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?
Greg Sanders: Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Nick Stokes: What have you been doing all day?

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: I tend not to believe people; they lie. The evidence never lies.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: I'm sorry, you look lost
Sheriff Rory Atwater: I've been calling your cell.
Gil Grissom: We get bad reception here in CSI. Listen, if this is about dinner, I'm free next week. I'll be having the fish.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: Maestro, what's the deal with our floater? [shouts over the music]
Gil Grissom: Professor! What's up with our floater?

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: My bugs are my babies, my children.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: No victim can ever say we didn't try.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: Ok, we're going off the board tonight.
Sara Sidle: Off the board?
Catherine Willows: Fish. The ones that got away.
Sara Sidle: Oh. I missed that one.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: So, let's see. You surf, you scuba dive. You're into latex, you like fashion models and Marilyn Manson. And you also have a coin collection?
Greg Sanders: Weird, ha?
Gil Grissom: Well, I race cockroaches!

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Gil Grissom: Sometimes I can be a little thoughtless.
Catherine Willows: I wouldn't say that. Not just any guy would walk a girl to the morgue.

TV Show: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation