CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes
Sara (after finding a dead crow, and horror props in Craig's room): Scary masks, rubber hands, arts and crafts. What's this kid's name again?
Nick: Craig... Mason.
Sara: As in Judge Mason? AKA Paul Millander. Craig Mason is Paul's adopted son. The son of Millander.
Nick: Craig... Mason.
Sara: As in Judge Mason? AKA Paul Millander. Craig Mason is Paul's adopted son. The son of Millander.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara (after finding a dead crow in Craig's room): Satanists have been known to collect dead crows to keep the smell of death around them.
Nick: How do you know that? Grissom?
Sara: Ozzy Osbourne. I loved Black Sabbath... for a summer.
Nick: Well, in that case, I guess we're lucky that the head's still on it. (Sara smirks)
Nick: How do you know that? Grissom?
Sara: Ozzy Osbourne. I loved Black Sabbath... for a summer.
Nick: Well, in that case, I guess we're lucky that the head's still on it. (Sara smirks)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: Nature or nuture? You choose. Either way this kid Mason's a freak. And the only thing he hates more than cops is CSIs. He even mentioned Grisson's name a few times.
Sara: Well, then I won't mention that I am Mrs. Grissom.
Brass: Oh, you took his last name. (Sara laughs and shakes her head)
Sara: Well, then I won't mention that I am Mrs. Grissom.
Brass: Oh, you took his last name. (Sara laughs and shakes her head)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine [to Ray]: I'm learning that when I can't find you, I should look down here.
Ray (is trying to tie organs into a bow using a lathroscope): This is very difficult. It's like attempting to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue.
Catherine: I can do that. ... After a few drinks.
Ray: Our Dr. Jekyll has some remarkable surgicial skills.
Catherine: Dr. Jekyll?
Ray: Who ever mutilated Mr. Biglow.
Catherine: What remarkable surgeon steals a dead man off the streets, practices on him and then dumps him in an alley?
Ray: No surgeon I ever met.
Catherine: You did get permission from the family to use this body for research?
Ray: Not necessary. Take a look. (Cath lifts the blanket, revealing a pig, she smiles) I'm hosting a luau later.
Catherine: Well, don't invite Sara. And before you put on your grass skirt, put Pinky on a spit, I need you in layout.
Ray (is trying to tie organs into a bow using a lathroscope): This is very difficult. It's like attempting to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue.
Catherine: I can do that. ... After a few drinks.
Ray: Our Dr. Jekyll has some remarkable surgicial skills.
Catherine: Dr. Jekyll?
Ray: Who ever mutilated Mr. Biglow.
Catherine: What remarkable surgeon steals a dead man off the streets, practices on him and then dumps him in an alley?
Ray: No surgeon I ever met.
Catherine: You did get permission from the family to use this body for research?
Ray: Not necessary. Take a look. (Cath lifts the blanket, revealing a pig, she smiles) I'm hosting a luau later.
Catherine: Well, don't invite Sara. And before you put on your grass skirt, put Pinky on a spit, I need you in layout.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: So Jason and whoever killed him were out in the woods blowing up a safe?
Ray: Which suggests that they were planning a good old fashioned robbery.
Catherine: You know that my dad was a casino boss, right? Every few weeks he had to collect the revenue from all of his low-end, low-volume operations. Nickel slots from bars, mini-marts, grocery store keno, that kind of thing. And we're not talking small potatoes, either. A quarter mil, easy, even on a bad month. An armored truck would go around town making the pick-ups. But when they were done, the bank would be closed. So they would drive to Sam's business office, where he kept a big ol' vault in a room all by itself. Sam loved showing it off to me as the sacks of coin and bricks of cash went into it. Anyway, the money would go into the vault and stay there until the next morning when the armored car guys would return and take it to the bank. I think we need to find out if there's a safe on the premises.
Ray: Which suggests that they were planning a good old fashioned robbery.
Catherine: You know that my dad was a casino boss, right? Every few weeks he had to collect the revenue from all of his low-end, low-volume operations. Nickel slots from bars, mini-marts, grocery store keno, that kind of thing. And we're not talking small potatoes, either. A quarter mil, easy, even on a bad month. An armored truck would go around town making the pick-ups. But when they were done, the bank would be closed. So they would drive to Sam's business office, where he kept a big ol' vault in a room all by itself. Sam loved showing it off to me as the sacks of coin and bricks of cash went into it. Anyway, the money would go into the vault and stay there until the next morning when the armored car guys would return and take it to the bank. I think we need to find out if there's a safe on the premises.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Knowing the deep, dark secrets of your co-workers is a slippery slope.
Ray: There was a time in my life where that could've come in handy. (they all give him a look) I used to work along side an angel of death.
Catherine (looks at the files): It's mostly online shopping and DVD rentals. I take it the office firewalls porn.
Greg: Don't they all.
Ray: There was a time in my life where that could've come in handy. (they all give him a look) I used to work along side an angel of death.
Catherine (looks at the files): It's mostly online shopping and DVD rentals. I take it the office firewalls porn.
Greg: Don't they all.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray: Action figures and anime, for the computer guy, that's always the cliche.
Nick: Lemme guess, you were a G.I Joe guy?
Ray: No, but my dad was.
Nick: Lemme guess, you were a G.I Joe guy?
Ray: No, but my dad was.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: This looks like an implantable RFID. Radio frequency identification chip?
Doc Robbins: Yeah, I know they're used for tracking inventory at Walmart. And unless the 13th Amendment got repealed while I wasn't looking, (points to a picture of the victim) that's not inventory.
Catherine: Implantable RFID are pretty new. There's some high-end nightclubs that give them to their VIPs to make it easy for them to run up a tab.
Doc Robbins: Oh, yeah. Having a chip surgically implanted in your body is so much more convenient than putting a credit card in your pocket.
Catherine: Well, not everything I wear out has pockets.
Doc Robbins: I'll buy you a purse.
Doc Robbins: Yeah, I know they're used for tracking inventory at Walmart. And unless the 13th Amendment got repealed while I wasn't looking, (points to a picture of the victim) that's not inventory.
Catherine: Implantable RFID are pretty new. There's some high-end nightclubs that give them to their VIPs to make it easy for them to run up a tab.
Doc Robbins: Oh, yeah. Having a chip surgically implanted in your body is so much more convenient than putting a credit card in your pocket.
Catherine: Well, not everything I wear out has pockets.
Doc Robbins: I'll buy you a purse.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray (seeing Hodges looking at himself through the computer camera): So, they say some people have a good side and a bad side. What's the verdict?
Hodges: I don't seem to have a bad side.
Hodges: I don't seem to have a bad side.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray [to Nick]: What's the angriest you've ever been?
Nick: I've been mad enough to kill somebody, didn't do it. You?
Ray: High threshold, short fuse.
David: Me too. In high school, I vented my frustrations by devising elaborate tortures for my classmates. In comic book form, of course.
Nick: Well, whether the killer woke up this morning with the intention to beat this guy to death or not, right now, he's a new man, with a new plan and a big fat secret.
Ray: Secrets are hard to keep.
Nick: I've been mad enough to kill somebody, didn't do it. You?
Ray: High threshold, short fuse.
David: Me too. In high school, I vented my frustrations by devising elaborate tortures for my classmates. In comic book form, of course.
Nick: Well, whether the killer woke up this morning with the intention to beat this guy to death or not, right now, he's a new man, with a new plan and a big fat secret.
Ray: Secrets are hard to keep.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: If the killer is smart, he is already out of town, laying on a beach somewhere and drinking a margarita.
Ray: Well, let's hope he is not that smart, then.
Ray: Well, let's hope he is not that smart, then.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: Finn took action in the line of duty. Johnson was trying to help a kid at risk.
Nick: So where's the bad guy in this?
Ray: You tell me.
Nick: So where's the bad guy in this?
Ray: You tell me.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray [to Sara]: Look, when I had a gun pulled on me, I didn't check for skin color before I pulled the trigger. Finn's motives are not what we're after, just the evidence that's gonna tell us about his actions. (Sara smiles, that reminds her of someone: Grissom)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Detective Moreno (looking at the computer screen): Now, each dot represents a crime involving firearms. And this is just in the last year.
Sara: Wow. You leave town for a while and all hell breaks loose.
Sara: Wow. You leave town for a while and all hell breaks loose.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Eyes are gonna be on us every move we make.
Ray: They already are. (motions to the crowd behind them)
Ray: They already are. (motions to the crowd behind them)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ecklie: Sara, glad to see you back.
Sara: Ecklie.
Ecklie: How was your week off in Paris?
Sara: Dr. Grissom sends his regards.
Sara: Ecklie.
Ecklie: How was your week off in Paris?
Sara: Dr. Grissom sends his regards.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins: You know, in ancient times, coup de grace was considered an act of mercy, quick blow to end the suffering of a comrade wounded in battle.
Sara: Whatever this was, it was no act of mercy.
Sara: Whatever this was, it was no act of mercy.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg [to Denise]: You said you waited until the shooting stopped to go outside.
Denise: I know what I saw, and I know what I heard. There were a whole bunch of guns going off, then it quiet, then one last and that cop was standing over that poor man. I saw a murder.
Denise: I know what I saw, and I know what I heard. There were a whole bunch of guns going off, then it quiet, then one last and that cop was standing over that poor man. I saw a murder.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: I put my crediblity on the line for you. CSIs said excessive force, I said 'no way'.
Officer Finn: That's right.
Brass: Oh, yeah? (plays the dispatch recording of Officer Finn calling Sergeant Johnson a black son of a bitch)
Officer Finn: I don't remember saying that.
Union Rep: I'm advising you not to speak, not until we hear the full recording and the witness statements.
Officer Finn: You think I'm racist? I don't remember, if I said he was black, I was decribing the suspect. I was so focused on what the gun was doing I...
Brass: Did you see his face?
Officer Finn: No, it was dark out.
Brass: Are you telling me, you didn't recognize Scott Johnson? He was a trainee, he rode with you, he was your partner for four months. You spent 8 hours a day in a car together. You saw more of him than you did of your wife.
Union Rep: This was over 5 years ago.
Brass: Are you telling me you didn't recognize a guy who put a formal complaint in your file for racial discrimination? Let me read this to you: (starts reading the complaint) "Frequent and excessive use of racial epithets including the 'N' word."
Officer Finn: First of all, no. I didn't recognize Johnson. And second, yeah, I use street talk with the trainees.
Brass: Come on, you know that doesn't fly anymore.
Officer Finn: But believe me, what they get from me is nothing compared to what they're gonna get from the real gorillas in the jungle.
Union Rep: That's a poor choice of words.
Officer Finn: I am training them for the real world and out of the dozens and dozens of people I have trained, and that is every color of the rainbow, pal. That hard ass was the only one who ever complained. The only one. He's the racist, not me.
Officer Finn: That's right.
Brass: Oh, yeah? (plays the dispatch recording of Officer Finn calling Sergeant Johnson a black son of a bitch)
Officer Finn: I don't remember saying that.
Union Rep: I'm advising you not to speak, not until we hear the full recording and the witness statements.
Officer Finn: You think I'm racist? I don't remember, if I said he was black, I was decribing the suspect. I was so focused on what the gun was doing I...
Brass: Did you see his face?
Officer Finn: No, it was dark out.
Brass: Are you telling me, you didn't recognize Scott Johnson? He was a trainee, he rode with you, he was your partner for four months. You spent 8 hours a day in a car together. You saw more of him than you did of your wife.
Union Rep: This was over 5 years ago.
Brass: Are you telling me you didn't recognize a guy who put a formal complaint in your file for racial discrimination? Let me read this to you: (starts reading the complaint) "Frequent and excessive use of racial epithets including the 'N' word."
Officer Finn: First of all, no. I didn't recognize Johnson. And second, yeah, I use street talk with the trainees.
Brass: Come on, you know that doesn't fly anymore.
Officer Finn: But believe me, what they get from me is nothing compared to what they're gonna get from the real gorillas in the jungle.
Union Rep: That's a poor choice of words.
Officer Finn: I am training them for the real world and out of the dozens and dozens of people I have trained, and that is every color of the rainbow, pal. That hard ass was the only one who ever complained. The only one. He's the racist, not me.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray: I was teaching at WLVU when Coach Miller won his second conference title. And everybody loved him, treated him like a god.
Catherine: Even gods have enemies.
Catherine: Even gods have enemies.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara (to Greg as the crane is pulling a car out of the water): Did you find Nemo?
Greg: Not unless Nemo was a Beem-O.
Greg: Not unless Nemo was a Beem-O.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins: Coach was struck at least a dozen times.
Nick: A lot of rage here.
Doc Robbins: Agreed. The multiple impacts crushed his skull and drove bone fragments into his brain, causing catastrophic hemorrhaging. It's like when you push your finger into a hard-boiled egg. The shell cracks but the pieces stay in place.
Nick: Thanks for ruining another breakfast for me.
Doc Robbins: It's what I do.
Nick: A lot of rage here.
Doc Robbins: Agreed. The multiple impacts crushed his skull and drove bone fragments into his brain, causing catastrophic hemorrhaging. It's like when you push your finger into a hard-boiled egg. The shell cracks but the pieces stay in place.
Nick: Thanks for ruining another breakfast for me.
Doc Robbins: It's what I do.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins: C'mon, you're not gonna ask me about the zombie thing?
Nick: Well, you're obviously eager to tell me.
Doc Robbins: Well, damage was predominantly on the right side of the brain to the neo-cortex which controls thought, language and reason. It was almost completely destroyed. But the paleo-cortex which lies beneath it remained intact. The paleo-cotrex controls learned instinct and rituals. Which explains why the victim was able to brush his teeth and eat his breakfast without noticing that he was bleeding.
Nick: They never seem to get that right in zombie movies.
Nick: Well, you're obviously eager to tell me.
Doc Robbins: Well, damage was predominantly on the right side of the brain to the neo-cortex which controls thought, language and reason. It was almost completely destroyed. But the paleo-cortex which lies beneath it remained intact. The paleo-cotrex controls learned instinct and rituals. Which explains why the victim was able to brush his teeth and eat his breakfast without noticing that he was bleeding.
Nick: They never seem to get that right in zombie movies.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: That's a lot of computing power for a football coach.
Ray: It's a complex game, two teams, 11 players each play crafted with multiple levels of redundancy and yet most academics and intellectuals prefer baseball. I suppose it's for the poetry.
Catherine: I just like to watch the guy's hit each other and I like their butts.
Ray: It's a complex game, two teams, 11 players each play crafted with multiple levels of redundancy and yet most academics and intellectuals prefer baseball. I suppose it's for the poetry.
Catherine: I just like to watch the guy's hit each other and I like their butts.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Julian: Captain, do you know how much the university pays campus security?
Brass: Well, I know prison inmates make 15 cents an hour. Is it less than that?
Brass: Well, I know prison inmates make 15 cents an hour. Is it less than that?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Did you ever play football?
Ray: Yes. You know, the real football... (makes soccer motions) ... with your feet.
Nick: Soccer.
Ray: Well, I never called it that. I was born in Seoul, South Korea. And my dad was career military man, I grew up in bases all around the world and we just called it football. What about you?
Nick: I'm from Austin. I grew up playing football.
Ray: Yes. You know, the real football... (makes soccer motions) ... with your feet.
Nick: Soccer.
Ray: Well, I never called it that. I was born in Seoul, South Korea. And my dad was career military man, I grew up in bases all around the world and we just called it football. What about you?
Nick: I'm from Austin. I grew up playing football.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray: I need a couple of volunteers.
Wendy: Okay, I'm in. (she looks towards Hodges who doesn't say anything. Hodges shakes his head) He would love to.
Ray: Thanks.
Hodges: Can I at least hear what I'm volunteering for, considering I've just been drafted.
Ray: Campus police always circled Coach Miller's house, they would've noticed a parked car. I'm thinking the killer approached on foot.
Wendy: And since the killer was most likely associated with the university, that means that he would've walked back to his place on campus--
Hodges: Ditching the murder weapon and blood evidence along the way. It's all very Mission Impossible.
Wendy: What are you talking about? It's a great theory. (to Ray) It's a great theory.
Ray: Thank you. Can we go?
Hodges: I'm eating.
Ray: There's plenty of food where we're going.
Wendy: Okay, I'm in. (she looks towards Hodges who doesn't say anything. Hodges shakes his head) He would love to.
Ray: Thanks.
Hodges: Can I at least hear what I'm volunteering for, considering I've just been drafted.
Ray: Campus police always circled Coach Miller's house, they would've noticed a parked car. I'm thinking the killer approached on foot.
Wendy: And since the killer was most likely associated with the university, that means that he would've walked back to his place on campus--
Hodges: Ditching the murder weapon and blood evidence along the way. It's all very Mission Impossible.
Wendy: What are you talking about? It's a great theory. (to Ray) It's a great theory.
Ray: Thank you. Can we go?
Hodges: I'm eating.
Ray: There's plenty of food where we're going.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: You know what this is?
Pal: Looks like a fingerprint.
Brass: Yeah, yours. Found on your .38 caliber Smith and Wesson, found in your car with a dead hooker.
Pal: Sounds like you're accusing me of something.
Brass: I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm charging you with vechicular manslaughter and negligent homicide.
Pal: Well, why don't you charge me with the JFK assassination while you're at it?
Brass: Nah, I'll let you slide on that one. But I could add in first degree murder of Coach Miller.
Pal: Now, that's not funny.
Pal: Looks like a fingerprint.
Brass: Yeah, yours. Found on your .38 caliber Smith and Wesson, found in your car with a dead hooker.
Pal: Sounds like you're accusing me of something.
Brass: I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm charging you with vechicular manslaughter and negligent homicide.
Pal: Well, why don't you charge me with the JFK assassination while you're at it?
Brass: Nah, I'll let you slide on that one. But I could add in first degree murder of Coach Miller.
Pal: Now, that's not funny.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Pal: You found my Beemer? Good work, boys.
Brass: When you reported it stolen, did you know there was a dead girl inside?
Pal: Well, it came fully loaded, but a dead girl wasn't part of the package.
Brass: I lose my sense of humor when it comes to murder.
Brass: When you reported it stolen, did you know there was a dead girl inside?
Pal: Well, it came fully loaded, but a dead girl wasn't part of the package.
Brass: I lose my sense of humor when it comes to murder.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hodges (after he finds the murder weapon in the garbage): Ah-ha! Touchdown!
Wendy (sighs): Nicely done.
Hodges: You know I'm not a CSI... by choice.
Wendy (continues searching the garbage and finds more evidence): Hey, Hodges? (holds up a shoe with blood on it) That's probably for the best.
Wendy (sighs): Nicely done.
Hodges: You know I'm not a CSI... by choice.
Wendy (continues searching the garbage and finds more evidence): Hey, Hodges? (holds up a shoe with blood on it) That's probably for the best.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation