CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes

Nick: So that's Earnest Boozell, huh? The Booze?
Catherine: Biggest shark in Vegas.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Did you know that a 12-letter word for across the woods is Transylvania?
Nick: (sarcastically) Grissom? Is that you, Grissom?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: You and Margot have something in common.
Nick: Yeah, what's that?
Catherine: A stalker.
Nick: That was a long time ago.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray: (cutting Margot's stitches) I'm sorry. Your cuts are evidence.
Margot: Don't you doctors and police ever talk to one another? Wouldn't it have been a lot easier if that cute young resident hadn't stitched me up at all?
Ray: Well, he was just doing his job, and I'm doing mine. What's the matter, I'm not cute?
Margot: Not right now.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Sometimes when we're faced with crimes that are so...incomprehensible we want answers. We want to believe that there's some order to things. Sometimes there just isn't.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[At the hoarder's house]
Nick: How could someone live like this?
Sara: Well, it smells more like somebody died like this.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: You know, I almost threw out something Grissom gave me. Ah, yeah. Blue marble.
Sara: Oh.
Nick: You know what he said when he gave that to me?
Sara: Something profound, I'm sure.
Nick: He said, "Nicky, if life ever gets crazy..."
Sara: "...roll with it." He gave me the same marble. (both laugh) You should hold onto that.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
David: Did you know that coyotes won't eat the flesh of crystal meth users?
Ray: Really?
David: It's true. I read it. They can sense the stuff is poison.
Ray: Well, that places them at a higher evolutionary mark than a good deal of human beings.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray: Anything printed on the keychain?
David: (joking) If found eaten by animals, please call...
Ray: David.
David: Sorry.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Everything that happens to us, the good and the bad, is part of us. Took me a long time to realize that, uh, it doesn't have to define who we are, we get to decide that.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hodges: So, is this, uh, bullet fragment telling you a story?
Greg: Once upon a time, a cranium met a nine-by-19 millimeter Parabellum round. The end.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Since when do you worry about identity theft?
Greg: Every aspect of our life has been reduced to binary code, Nick. All we are is zeroes and ones. Easy pickings.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: What is the code for suspicious ooze?
Ray: 6-6-6. Well, at least the primordial variety, the stuff of creation, Heaven and Hell.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: I think I'm gonna grab a beer...or ten. You wanna join me?
Catherine: I don't think so.
Nick (grins): You sure? We could talk about our feelings.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Man: Can I help you, Officers?
Nick: You sure can, big man. I gotta take a look at your trucks.
Man: Why?
Nick: (handing him the warrant) Because that piece of paper says so.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Dr. Robbins: Mrs. Robbins has a birthday. The big one. She doesn't want to make much of it, which means I have to. You got any ideas?
Catherine: Can't go wrong with diamonds. Girl's BFF.
Dr. Robbins: Man's worst enemy.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Conrad: Catherine, you're a crime scene investigator, not Erin Brockovich.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: Drop the Woodward and Bernstein act, okay?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: I-I-I've had all the complicated relationships I could handle. This is who I am. Please don't try to change me. I promise I won't try to change you.
Vartann: So, what? Take it or leave it?
Catherine: Call me when you decide.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: So Sylvester and Tweety whacked their owners.
Greg: Think of it as a series of unfortunate events.
Brass: What do you mean, don't think of it as a cartoon?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hodges: Wh-What is with this family? Even the animals hate each other.
Sara: Why didn't you just separate them, Hodges?
Hodges: Even though I project an aura of raw courage and unwavering self-confidence, I suffer from... ornithophobia.
Sara: You're afraid of birds.
Hodges: Let's just say that I was terrorized by a flock of Canadian geese while visiting my uncle in Saskatchewan.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Isn't this a little Cirque du Soleil?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
David: Looks like a .22.
Dr. Robbins: Used to be the preferred caliber for mobsters and assassins.
David: (with a rap accent) Nowadays they go for a Glock four-oh.
Dr. Robbins: Thank you, Ten Cent.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: Nice little crime scene you got here. So you called in your own 419 off a web posting? I mean, I heard of firemen setting fires to get overtime. Don't tell me you're dropping bodies for extra cash.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hodges: Group, I'd like you to meet Dr. Raymond Langston, Nick Stokes and Greg Sanders. These are our CSI field agents. They go out and collect all those little bits of evidence, and then they bring them to me for answers. (about the burned victim) Ooh! Looks like they're cooking up a searing mystery today.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine [to Greg]: You did good.
Greg: Yeah, well, most bosses wouldn't have given me the chance to make it right.
Catherine: Oh, make no mistake. I'm pissed off at you, Greg. You disappeared on us, you walked into an ambush, you almost got yourself killed and then you left the scene of a crime.
Greg: Am I on suspension?
Catherine: You should be (pauses) But I'm the last ones who should be throwing stones. I've been blinded by lust once or twice. Just do me a favor. The next time you get the hots for a mysterious babe, let me check her out for you. I got an eye for the rotten ones.
Greg: Deal. Catherine...
Catherine: Yeah?
Greg: Why do the rotten ones smell so good?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray: (about the burned body) Gonna be hard to burrito him like that.
David: I could put him in the passenger seat of the van. Then we could use the car pool lane.
Ray: Always looking for the silver lining, eh, David?
David: Yeah. That's me.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: (about Mrs. Grissom) She's very hard to get close to. She questions everything. She's got to be right about everything. She's mostly unavailable.
Catherine (chuckles): Sorry.
Sara: What?
Catherine: Oh, it's... you just described Grissom. Like mother, like son.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: (about Julia) She also made it perfectly clear that she would not continue with the interview until I was out of the room. What did Brass say?
Catherine: What do you think? He wants you off the case. I said no. I told him that you're a professional, and completely capable of being objective.
Sara: Thanks.
Catherine: You are capable of being professional and objective, right?
Sara: Yes, I am.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: So anyway, how was your week? What'd you do?
Sara: Well, I almost got blown up twice. I accused your ex-girlfriend of murder. And, oh, I-I told off your mother.
Grissom: Oh, good. You kept busy.
Sara: Yeah. See what happens when you stand me up?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation