Spin City Quotes

Caitlin: Mike, believe it or not, the whole universe does not revolve around you.
Mike: Are you calling my mom a liar?

TV Show: Spin City
Mayor Winston: New York City, this is the mayor. I have been stolen.

TV Show: Spin City
Mike: Anybody read this? Bingo died.
Karen: Ohh! Who's Bingo?
Mike: Only the city's most decorated police dog.
Nikki: Oh, yeah, right. He pulled that drowning kid out of the reservoir.
James: And didn't he sniff out 10 kilos of cocaine at La Guardia?
Mike: Yeah. Poor little guy didn't sleep for weeks after that.

TV Show: Spin City
Mike: Now, I don't want to hear any excuses.
Stuart: You sure? 'Cause I've been saving the doozy. It starts out as an excuse but I end up blaming James.

TV Show: Spin City
Mike: Stuart, what makes someone a hero?
Stuart: I'd have to go with x-ray vision.

TV Show: Spin City
Stuart: If that woman ever shows her face again, I will unleash a punishment upon her she cannot even fathom.
Carter: What are you gonna do? You gonna date her?

TV Show: Spin City
Paul: C'mon trade with me, my nuns for your lesbians.
Carter: They're not baseball cards, Paul.

TV Show: Spin City
Nikki: I am not gonna do that unless he wakes up.
Stuart: Ladies and gentlemen, Nikki's only rule of dating.

TV Show: Spin City
[Mike is sitting on the Mayor's lap]
Mayor: (in a Santa suit) Well, young man, what do you want for Christmas?
Mike: Uh, my dignity back.

TV Show: Spin City
Mike: Who here is gay?

TV Show: Spin City
Mike: Not that kind of gay.

TV Show: Spin City
Nikki: (on phone): I didn't mean to scare you, it was just a simple run of the mill orgasm... (Mike walks up) ...Can you hold on a second, Mom?
Mike: Oh, I'll let you get back to your mom, before she loses her erection

TV Show: Spin City
Reporter: Mr. Mayor, would you consider marching in the gay pride parade this week?
Mayor: What are you, drunk?

TV Show: Spin City
Mike: (about Mayor Garfield's passing) We need to get working on your statement.
Mayor: I killed him. I killed him dead.
Mike: That's a good starting point. How about softening it up a little?

TV Show: Spin City
Mayor: It's not jealousy; I just wish I had what he had.

TV Show: Spin City
Nikki: They had a candle light vigil at the fountain last night. Hundreds showed up.
Carter: Of course only five people could fit around it at one time. They had to vigil in shifts.

TV Show: Spin City
Carter: Believe it or not, I came out at Thanksgiving.
Nikki: How'd you pull that off?
Carter: Very subtle. "Dad, great job carving the turkey. I'm a homosexual."
Nikki: Well, every year, I go to my sister's house, hug her three beautiful children, then my family gathers round, ties me to a chair, and pummels me with questions about why I'm not married yet.
Stuart: Me, my mom, my dad, three Hungry Man dinners, and a big box of wine. First "I hate you" comes out around 9: 30.

TV Show: Spin City
Stuart: You see grasshopper, one must understand the rhythms of the game-. WAAAAHH!! -In order to truly master ebb and flow, ying and yang. Are you prepared to do battle?
Janelle: No, I want you to talk some more.

TV Show: Spin City
Mike: I'm not a club kinda guy. If I wanna shout, I'll go visit my grandmother.

TV Show: Spin City
Carter: It's not like I'm sleeping with every man in town. You are straight. Do you sleep with every woman you meet?
Stuart: YES!

TV Show: Spin City
Stuart: Who's looking out for the white middle-class, heterosexual male?
Carter: Congress.

TV Show: Spin City
Paul: What do lesbians know about me? This could be a fabulous opportunity!
Stuart: To remind them why they're lesbians?

TV Show: Spin City
Mike: Are you telling me that your pregnant?
Carrie: No, but I will be thanks to you.
Mike: Wait a second, am I missing a step here, cause if you're talking about last night, I took precautions, we took precautions!
Carrie: Let't just say I'm the kinda girl who never throws anything away...I put it in the freezer.
Mike: You froze my guys?!
Carrie: I'm just here to get your blessing.
Mike: What am I, the pope?!
Carrie: Don't yell at me!
Mike: Those are my guys, I want them back!
Carrie: Look, if you're gonna be all weird about this, I'm just gonna leave!
Mike: You can't do this! (opens office door) GIMME BACK MY SPERM!

TV Show: Spin City
Paul: As a show of good faith, you have to release 1, maybe 2 million of the hostages.

TV Show: Spin City
Nikki: Why couldn't the Mayor just stand up?

TV Show: Spin City
Nikki: What? What am I missing?
Mike: How am I gonna explain this. Okay, Nikki. Even though the Mayor wasn't actually standing...he was at full attention.
Nikki: Nooo.
Mike: Yes, now how are we gonna explain this little snub to the Woman's Action Caucus?
Stuart: Snub? The man paid the woman the ultimate compliment!
Mike: Yeah, if they were orangutans.

TV Show: Spin City
Nikki: Can't you guys control those things?
Stuart: Not always.
Mike: You can scold it, or smack it around a little bit. That only seems to encourage it.
Nikki: I am fascinated.
James: Sometimes all it takes is a thought, memory...sometimes all it takes is a slight breeze.

TV Show: Spin City
Mike: Basically, by 6 o'clock, anyone in the city with breasts is going to hate us.
Stuart: Welcome to my world.

TV Show: Spin City
Stuart: Why do women always go for losers like him?
Carter: What, instead of losers like you?

TV Show: Spin City
James: We've got to rescue her from that monster!
Mike: He's her boyfriend, he's not Jason.

TV Show: Spin City