Veronica Mars Quotes

Troy: Let me see your phone.
Veronica: What are you doing?
[He adds his phone number to her phone.]
Troy: It is now booty-call enabled.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Keith: It's just that I never want you to think your mom's the villain in all this.
Veronica: Isn't she?
Keith: No, it's not that simple.
Veronica: Yeah, it is. The hero is the one that stays and the villain is the one that splits.
Keith: I don't think that's a healthy perspective.
Veronica: It's healthier than me pining away everyday, praying she'll come home.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [voiceover] Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle, and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild. Because after disaster strikes, the important thing is that you move on. But if you're like me, you just keep chasing the storm. (pause) The problem with chasing the storm is that it wears you down, breaks your spirit. Even the experts agree, a girl needs closure.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
[Veronica arrives home from a date.]
Veronica: So, what did you think of him?
Keith: Oh, hey, you're home early.
Veronica: Oh, hey, did you run his license plate or did you get fingerprints?
Keith: I'm sorry, honey, what?
Veronica: You know you're not fooling me.
Keith: Okay. Veronica, I have no idea what you're talking about. [Veronica scoffs and starts to go to her room] Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you. If he's gonna be kissing my daughter on my porch for eight-and-a-half minutes, I'll need to meet him. Sweet dreams, honey.
Veronica: Is that really necessary?
Keith: He's taking up a lot of daddy/daughter time.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
[Lilly arrives in her homecoming dress.]
Logan: I believe Keanu Reeves said it best when he said, "Whoooa."

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Wallace: It's not going to work. You can't take the cool out of me. Look, pocket protector and I'm still full of pimp juice.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [pretending to be drunk] They told me this was Sri Lanka! I wanted a coconut toddy!

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [still pretending to be drunk, to Wallace] I don't feel so good, Papa Bear!

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Wallace: "Papa Bear"?
Veronica: Never happened.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Wallace: My first college party - drinking piña coladas with a dude and talking about math.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
[Playing "I Never"]
Logan: I've never taken matters into my own hand in the boys' locker room after watching the cheerleader tryouts.
[Veronica and Lilly gasp]
Duncan: Dude, you are so dead.
Lilly: Very pervy, Duncan. I'm a little impressed though.
Logan: You must drink, comrade.
Veronica: Please tell me that was before we started dating.
Duncan: [drinking] Of course. I've never, um, I've never seen my parents having sex. [Lilly drinks, everyone gasps] No way, no way.
Lilly: Yeah, I went into their room to borrow Mom's black sweater.
Duncan: No, just shut up.
Lilly: Mom was on top of Dad.
Duncan: Oh my God, I don't wanna see this!
Lilly: Hold on a second! She was like this. Watch. She was like this. [moaning] Ohh. Ohh. [yawning] Ohh.
Duncan: Lilly, that is so wrong.
Lilly: I think Dad probably thought so too.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Keith: So, Veronica tells me, um, well, actually she hasn't told me anything about you.
Troy: Well, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Keith: Neither do I. [both laugh]
Troy: Well, if you have any questions or you know, you want a list of references or anything...
Keith: So, you going to the homecoming dance?
Troy: Oh yes, sir, if that's okay with you.
Keith: Oh, of course. And after the dance?
Troy: Well I think that Veronica said that she had to be right home after.
Keith: Yeah, good. And you're gonna stay for the whole dance. I mean, you're not gonna leave early and go to a party or a hotel, and still make it back by curfew?
Troy: No, uh, I mean, the whole point of going to the dance... is to go to the dance.
Keith: Good. Good. So you won't mind then, that I canceled your reservation at the Four Seasons?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Duncan: Oh, my God. They called the cops.
Veronica: They called my dad.
Lilly: This is like, the best dance EVER.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [to Troy] Dude, where's your car?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [to Troy, about Logan] Uh, your monkey's gonna have to ride in the back.
Logan: Ha ha. Nice car. God, it must've been a huge cereal box.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [voiceover] You know those people who can predict when change is coming in their life? I'm not one of them. Change has a way of just walking up and punching me in the face.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: So far it's been a whole lot of brick walls, but I talked to my buddy Earl yesterday at the impound yard.
Troy: What do I love more? That you have a buddy named Earl or that he works at the impound yard?
Veronica: I'm guessing both. No sign of the Beamer. But he can get you a great deal on a Good Times van.
Troy: I'll pass that on to my dad when he gets back. Maybe it'll take his mind off of loading his gun.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Here's a thought: If Tijuana was Logan's idea, then stealing the car could have been the master plan.
Troy: It was more of a meeting of the minds, if you will.
Veronica: Ah, so what was on the menu for this night of grand debauchery?
Troy: Let's see, uh, from eight to nine, we brainstormed on how to overthrow Kim Jong Il. From nine to ten, we deleted the records of the black voters of Florida. After that, it was, uh, yeah, it was all donkey shows.
Veronica: Ah, so the usual?
Troy: Pretty much.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
[Veronica drags Luke into the bathroom.]
Veronica: We need to talk.
Luke: Alright, well does it have to be next to the feminine hygiene machine?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: I obviously know nothing about relationships.
Keith: But you can bake, and that's important.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Duncan: Thanks, Dad. You know, I polled the rest of the soccer team. None of them want to see my junk.
Jake: Well, now you're covered.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Tough day?
Keith: [imitating Phillip Marlowe] That ain't the half of it. See, this dame walks in, and you should've seen the getaway sticks on her. Says something's hinky with her old man.
Veronica: [imitating Marlowe] Did ya put the screws to him?
Keith: You ain't kiddin', he sang like a canary.
Veronica: [normal voice] You're in luck, Phillip Marlowe, because it's dessert for dinner night, and I've got a sundae thing set up here.
Keith: [normal voice] If child services finds out about this, they will take you away.
Veronica: Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take.
Keith: Honey, shouldn't we try something at the base of the food pyramid? You know - fruits and vegetables.
Veronica: [gasps] What is that? A maraschino cherry?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Lilly: Check you out, Veronica Mars. You're like a rocker chick now. You and I, we'd have a lot of fun together. Yeah, if, um, if I wasn't dead and stuff.
Veronica: Why are you here?
Lilly: Don't you watch any horror movies? My soul is doomed to walk the earth until justice has been served.
Veronica: Really?
Lilly: Yeah, that, and as kinda a side project, I dispense fashion advice.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Ms. Dent: Good morning, Veronica. I was thinking maybe you'd be interested in covering the election for the student newspaper.
Veronica: Sure, I'll write it up this afternoon.
Ms. Dent: The election's tomorrow.
Veronica: And I can already see the headline: "Brown-Nosing Resumé Packer Wins in a Landslide."

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: I want to find out who this kid is and what room he voted in.
Wallace: And I want a statue of myself in the main lobby - holding a musket, staring down danger. Since we're talking about stuff we want.
Veronica: Please?
Wallace: How hard was that?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Clemmons: Mr. Echolls, I was wondering if I could have a word?
Logan: "Anthropomorphic." All yours, big guy.
Clemmons: Oh. [fake laugh] Your father has generously offered to donate a pair of boots for our school fundraising auction.
Logan: Not the ones made for walking? God, I love those boots.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: They teach you manners in ESL?
Weevil: If I was gonna cheat, don't you think I'd pick somebody smart?
Logan: If you "was gonna"?
Mr. Daniels: Ah, alas, you both get zeroes. No talking during tests.
Logan: I guess Mrs. Daniels ain't giving it up at home, huh?
Mr. Daniels: You know, the glow of your father's wealth and celebrity may be enough to sustain you through high school, Mr. Echolls, but do you know what it will get you in the real world?
Logan: [sarcastically] Please say "high school English teacher." Please...say "high school English teacher." [Weevil snickers]
Mr. Daniels: Mr. Navarro. I wonder if you'll find Mr. Echolls so amusing ten years from now - when you're pumping his gas.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Mr Daniels: This is punishment, gentlemen, not party time.
Logan: Well, that would explain the absence of balloon animals.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Did you hear something last night?
Keith: What kind of something?
Veronica: Like a loud thump from upstairs.
Keith: I don't know. But you know me, I can sleep through an earthquake. Why?
Veronica: I don't know. It sounded like a falling body. It really freaked me out.
Keith: A falling body?
Veronica: Yes, a falling body.
Keith: Would you describe the sound as "Hitchcockian"?
Veronica: I'm glad you're able to entertain yourself.
Keith: Oh, sweetie, don't sell yourself short. I find you completely entertaining.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Weevil: Sometimes the girls get put off by this old motorcycle jacket thing. Do you think something in suede might make me seem more... accessible?

TV Show: Veronica Mars