Cheers Quotes

Everyone: Norm!

TV Show: Cheers
Carla LeBec: Yoh, Becs. What's this thing you have against rich people? I mean, you're dating a rich guy. You want to be rich yourself, right?
Rebecca Howe: Yes. And when I am rich, I will stop hating rich people, and start hating poor people. It's the American way.

TV Show: Cheers
Coach: [answering the phone] Cheers. Ok, wait a minute, I'll check. Is there an Ernie Pantusso here?
Sam: That's YOU Coach.
Coach: Speaking.

TV Show: Cheers
Frank Morgan: Just checking your pulse. Hmmm... very irregular. Rapid, too!
Lucille Ball: You have your fingers on my wristwatch.

TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: You see, Sam, there's documented evidence that all human animals have an erotic, hair-trigger response to at least one of the five sensory stimuli. Could be anything, really. Oh, let's see: sound of surf pounding against the shore, smell of honeysuckle on a warm summer's night, taste of a vintage Chateaux-neuf-du-Pape. [getting turned on]
Frasier: Fire-red fingernails... dancing through your chest hair. [breathing heavily]
Frasier: Black lace teddy, straining against its fleshy cargo.
Sam: Whoah, whoah, Frasier. Snap out of it.
Frasier: In a minute, Sam.

TV Show: Cheers
James Corcoran, Midwestern U. President: You see, I heard Abe Lincoln talk at Gettysburg - and he talked sense. You know Ella, we've got something here in this country - the idea of people being free. But it's got to be taught and retaught, Ella, to each new crop of youngsters: the value of freedom.

TV Show: Cheers
[the bar is dark and seemingly empty as it's closed for the evening. The telephone rings, and the answering machine picks up]
Sam Malone: [voice on the answering machine] Hi. This is Cheers. Leave a message at the beep. [the answering machine beeps]
Vera Peterson: [voice on the telephone] Norm, this is Vera. Please pick up. Norm! Norm! [Vera hangs up the telephone. The telephone rings again and the answering machine picks up]
Sam Malone: [voice on the answering machine] Hi. This is Cheers. Leave a message at the beep. [the answering machine beeps]
Vera Peterson: [voice on the telephone] Norm, I know you're there. Pick up the phone, Norm. It's three o'clock in the morning. I want you to come home. Norm? Norm! [Vera hangs up the telephone. The telephone rings again and the answering machine picks up]
Sam Malone: [voice on the answering machine] Hi. This is Cheers. Leave a message at the beep. [the answering machine beeps]
Vera Peterson: [voice on the telephone] Hi, Sam? This is Vera Peterson again. Listen, uh, ignore those messages. It turns out, Norm was here in bed next to me the whole time. And I thought that big lump was our dog. Who knew?

TV Show: Cheers
Coach: [about War and Peace] Forget it Sam, no one can read four ounces a day.

TV Show: Cheers
Diane: You didn't shave.
Sam: Oh no no. I needed a new place to scratch.

TV Show: Cheers
Lisa: Look at me, Dad, I'm not--beautiful.
Coach: You look just like your mother.
Lisa: And Mom was not-- [Pause] comfortable with her beauty.
Coach: But that's what made her more beautiful. Your mother grew more beautiful every day of her life.

TV Show: Cheers
Diane: Rebecca, is there something wrong?
Rebecca Prout: [sobbing] Oh Diane, you could always see beyond my facade of gaiety!

TV Show: Cheers
Diane: You're offended because she thought you were a scum bag?
Sam: No. I actually like that.

TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Say didn't we used to have a weekly Elizabethan poet night?
Norm: It started getting too rowdy.
Cliff: I remember the night you were charged with practicing iambic pentameter without a license.

TV Show: Cheers
Diane [into telephone]: Yes, I'll take a message.
[Pause, then Diane hangs up the phone]
Sam: Well?
Diane: "You're a magnificent pagan beast."
Sam: Thanks. What's the message?

TV Show: Cheers
Coach: Norm, you're in here every night, doesn't your wife ever wonder where you're at?
Norm: Wonders... doesn't care, but she wonders.

TV Show: Cheers
Sam: My life isn't fun anymore. It's because of you.
Diane: Because of me?
Sam: Yeah, you're a snob.
Diane: A snob!
Sam: Yeah, that's right.
Diane: Well, you're a rapidly aging adolescent.
Sam: Well I would rather be that than a snob.
Diane: Well I would rather be a snob.
Sam: Good because you are.

TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Well I guess I've, uh, I've never looked at your eyes.
Diane: Is something wrong with them?
Sam: No I uh, I just don't think I've ever saw eyes that color before. Matter of fact I don't think I've ever seen that color before. Yes I have, yes I have.
Diane: Where?
Sam: I was uh, I was on a ski weekend, up at Stowe. I uh, was coming in late one day – uh, last person off the slope – the sun had just gone down. And the sky became this incredible color. I usually don’t uh, notice things like that, and I found myself kind of walking around in the cold, hoping that it wouldn’t change; wishing that I had someone there to share it with me. Afterwards I tried to convince myself I had imagined that color; that I hadn’t really seen it. Nothing on this earth could be this beautiful. Now I see I was wrong. [Pause] Wouldn't work, huh?
Diane: What?
Sam: Intelligent women would see right through that.
Diane: Oh...oh! In a minute!

TV Show: Cheers
Diane: Hi doctor.
Dr. Graham: Hi Diane. How are you?
Diane: In what sense?
Dr. Graham: Pardon me?
Diane: Oh you mean how are you, right. Not you know how are you. Well if that's what you meant, I'm fine.

TV Show: Cheers
Sam: How did you know that?
Diane: Well I picked it up in pre-law.
Sam: I thought you were an English major.
Diane: Well that was after art and before psychology.
Sam: Is there anything you weren't in college?
Carla: Blonde.
Diane: Check the yearbook, Carla.

TV Show: Cheers
Diane: I'm sorry I was late, Sam. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Sam: Yeah, yeah but you wouldn't.

TV Show: Cheers
Coach: How's life treating you Norm?
Norm: Like I ran over its dog.

TV Show: Cheers
Lisa: Daddy, isn't it obvious to you?
Coach: Nothing is ever obvious to me.

TV Show: Cheers
Diane: You know, Sam. If I am to serve both as a waitress and the butt of jokes I think I should make more money.
Carla: Yeah, what does a good butt make in this town?
Sam: [to Diane] We all know that you'd starve to death before you made a living with your body.

TV Show: Cheers
Diane: What could happen?
Sam: Oh nothing, oh nothing. Two women left alone who hate each other in a room filled with glass and alcohol.

TV Show: Cheers
Diane: Name calling, the last refuge of the monosyllabic.
Carla: I don't know what that means but I heard slob in there.

TV Show: Cheers
Coach: It's the damnedest thing. I've been shivering all the way over here.
Diane: Well, Coach, you don't have a coat on. It's 30 degrees outside.
Coach: Oh, thank god. I thought I had malaria.

TV Show: Cheers
Coach: What's the story, Norm?
Norm: A thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it.

TV Show: Cheers
Diane: [talking about how Sam was able to make the beer slide around the corner of the bar] Okay, how do you do it?
Sam: Well it's just one of my two hidden talents. The other one is just as impressive.
Diane: But you can hardly charge a buck for it.

TV Show: Cheers
Norm: [about the player piano] Sammy, why do you keep something around here that doesn't work?
Carla: [about Diane] Because no one else will give her a job.

TV Show: Cheers
Buzz: What if I bought this guy a beer?
Norm: Buy me a pitcher and you can kiss me on the lips.

TV Show: Cheers