Girlfriends Quotes

Carla Dunkirk: You are headed for some serious trouble.
Matt Saunders: I hear you, Homegirl. I got it.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Chelsea: [voice-over] I met with Phillipe on October 5th and 6th. I wore a Michael Kors dress and shoes with La Perla lingerie underneath, and diamond stud earrings. We met at 7: 30 PM at the hotel, and had a drink downstairs. He liked my dress but didn't go into detail why, and didn't mention anything else about my appearance. We ate dinner at Blue Hill. Phillipe didn't ask for a menu and had the chef serve us a five-course meal, a different wine with each course. We went to the 9: 40 PM showing of 'Man on Wire' at the Sunshine Cinema, and he liked the movie. We went back to the hotel and talked for half an hour. Mostly about a friend of his that keeps borrowing money from him and not paying it back. Then we had sex for about an hour. After that, we talked for about 15 minutes and he fell asleep. At breakfast, he briefly told me his worries regarding the economy, and he said I should invest my money in gold. He also mentioned a book about how the Federal Reserve works. He didn't make another appointment.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Maya Wilkes: [to Darnell] You know there was a time when I did think you were controlling, but now I think you just love too hard. You try to protect the people you love from life when you just need to let them live it with you.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Toni Childs: [referring to Maya's son Jabari] I'm waiting, Ju ju bee.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Vaughn Haige: There are 3 moments I'll remember 'til the day I die. 1: the look on my father's face when I graduated from Harvard law school. 2: Helping a beached mother whale give birth. And... 3: You and me, together, here, tonight.
Shapely Bartender: Don't speak to me again... ever.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Waiter: Good evening. Would anybody like a drink before you have dinner?
Alice: Yeah, how about a...!
Maggie: How about three more bottles of your best red wine this one's almost gone!
Alice: Maggie, I don't like red wine!
Maggie: Who said anything about YOU I ordered for myself!
Diane: Maggie, when did you start drinking?
Maggie: Look, just bring one bottle of everything and we'll sort it out later!
Waiter: Certainly. Would that be all?
Maggie: YES...!

TV Show: Girlfriends
[Doorbell rings]
Toni: [pregnant] If that's you mama it's open, if not, I've got a gun.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Toni: I'm actually looking forward to the visit. I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant, but I could actually use a little mommy and me time.
Joan: We are still talking about the same Veretta Childs who embarasses you by wearing a polyester pant-suit and asking for the early-bird special at Spago right?
Toni: Yea, I know it's odd but I feel like being babied before I have this baby. Of course... Veretta never was a story time, tucking in momma, being narcasistic, crazy drunk and all. Aw mamma, good times.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Todd: You spent $2500 on shoes and playing meilleur casino?
Toni: Boots, Todd. I'm not crazy.

TV Show: Girlfriends
[Maya is accusing Darnell of cheating on her with his co-worker at the airport]
Maya: Joan said she saw you down at the airport with some woman.
Darnell: And if Joan had stayed there she would have seen me down there with a lot of women... that didn't come out right.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Joan: My mother always said, "When love runs out on you, God sends you love's equivalent... or better."
Toni: I thought she said, "When you run out of love's lubricant, use butter."
Joan: What?
Toni: What? Your momma does mumble. And we both know she's a freak.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Darnell: We're just not clicking the way we used to.
Maya: Maybe we should pray about it.
Darnell: What?
Maya: A family that prays together, stays together.
Darnell: All right, you pray, I'm going to bed.
Maya: Baby, be angry at me. Don't be angry at the Lord.

TV Show: Girlfriends
[reciting a poem to make the girls forgive him for something he did]
William: This Charlie can't fly without his angels.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Toni: [on converting to Judaism] I'm already on standby for heaven as it is. I'm not straying from the path I've chosen.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Maya: Thanks for watching my little man, Toni.
Toni: No problem. Jamal is a very wise young man.
Maya: For the last time Toni, his name is Jabari.
Toni: But he looks like a Jamal.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Toni: [referring to Maya's son Jabari] I'm waiting, Ju ju bee.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Toni: [referring to Maya's son Jabari] We all love Gymboree.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Toni: Where's my phone sheet?
Shelby Girard: On your zip disk.
Toni: Nuh-uh, I don't zip-a-dee-do that. I want my phone sheet on paper.
Shelby: Has Enron taught you nothing?

TV Show: Girlfriends
Toni: Shelby, I want my employees to show some initiative but only when I tell them to.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Maya: See, Joan, I told you. Actors aren't smart... and they steal... Winona Ryder... I rest my case.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Maya: [recounting story of Jabari as a newborn] Let's just say LA Transit gets a bad rap. Because they do return lost items.
Toni: You left Jingle-Jangle on the bus?
Maya: No! I left Jingle-Jangle at the bus stop.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Toni: Maya, how'd you get so smart?
Maya: Oh, girl, I'm an authoress. I gots to know stuff.
Toni: I guess you don't "gots" to know grammar.
Maya: At least I didn't miss my baby's first doctor's appointment!
Toni: At least I didn't leave my baby on the bus!
Maya: Bus stop! Get it right, bitch.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Toni: Hey, Jolly Rancher.
Jabari: It's Jabari!
Toni: Why is he yelling at me in gibberish?

TV Show: Girlfriends
Julie Fageaux: So... lunch?
Maya: Yeah.
Julie: Soho?
Maya: I said yeah, bitch!
Julie: Okay, you know what I'm just trying to do my job, I'm trying to meet your needs. I love your book and I don't know why you feel the need to come in and attack me.
Maya: What did I do to you?
Julie: You called me a bitch.
Maya: You called me a ho!
Julie: OK... Soho is a neighborhood.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Maya: Jabari, I said get up and take out the trash now.
Jabari: [mumbling] What, are your legs broke?
Maya: No, but your ass is about to be!

TV Show: Girlfriends
Maya: [Talking to Toni] Kiss is a noun and a verb, so you can either give my ass a kiss or kiss my ass!

TV Show: Girlfriends
Maya: [to Lynn] If you keep eating my Christmas cookies,I will slap you into a silent night!

TV Show: Girlfriends
Joan: It looks like he got this stuff from the side of the road.
Lynn: Hey! That's where I got my loveseat!

TV Show: Girlfriends
Lynn: So, Maya asked you to be on her panel too Toni?
Toni: Did you not hear me say a panel of successful black women?
Lynn: Hmm, I wonder why she didn't ask me.
Toni: Did you not hear me say a panel of successful black women?
Lynn: So what am I? The loser who has nothing to say?
Toni: If you wanna sugarcoat it.

TV Show: Girlfriends
Lynn: [to Donna upon seeing how Joan & William act when planning a Cinco de Mayo celebration] Oh my God, I think this calls for a diabetic coma; hand me your creme brulee!

TV Show: Girlfriends