Veronica Mars Quotes

Veronica: Say repressed homosexuality! [takes a picture of the Tritons]

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Hi, Dad. Their case is fuzzy and circumstantial.
Keith: You know the odd thing? Those were also her first words.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Miss James: You know what, it sounds like you blame Veronica.
Logan: You know, Veronica was my friend too. And if she hadn't ratted me out, then Lilly and I would have stayed together. And Lilly wouldn't have been alone that day. I would have been there. So, yeah, I blame Veronica. And I blame myself for being stupid. And I blame Lilly for being a bitch that week.
Miss James: You know, there is another way of looking at this, Logan. If you'd still been together, you might be dead too.
Logan: And what is so great about living?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
[Veronica]: [In Lamb's office] And I'll be over here chillin' like a villain.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Lamb: [reading off of a $50 bill] Veronica Mars is... smarter than me.
Veronica: [slaps Lamb playfully] Oh, you stop it!

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Next time remember: Lift drunk combative bail-jumpers with your legs, not your back.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Keith: Hey honey, what's cooking?
Veronica: Not sure myself. Something that ends in -aroni.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Aaron: Have you heard from your sister?
Logan: She sent a telegram. Heartbroken. Stop. Can't make it back from Sydney. Stop. Underwater shoot starts tomorrow. Stop. Entire crew said prayer for Mom. Stop. Love you. Stop.
Aaron: Logan...
Logan: Stop?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Lilly: I'm ditching his party this weekend 'cause I don't want him getting all crazy violent every time a boy undresses me with his eyes, which happens all the time. It's not my fault. I can't help it--God made me fabulous.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: You know what Mom would have wanted? She would have wanted you to not sleep with all her friends. She would have wanted you to care as much about her as your career. So okay, Dad, let's be honest. Maybe we both wished we'd been better. But she's only gone because of you.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: There's a woman who saw my mom get out of her car and get in a van with a "mysterious stranger."
Veronica: There's also a jungle tribe that worships Donald Trump's hair. It's a tabloid.
Logan: So the girl with a pig arm can't really bowl?
Veronica: I just don't want you to get your hopes up.
Logan: I'm not paying you to worry about my hopes; I'm paying you to follow leads.
Veronica: I wasn't aware you were paying me.
Logan: This isn't a favor. It's a job, you know. I mean, we're not exchanging friendship bracelets.
Veronica: I'll stop braiding.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
[Trying to filch info on her father's case, Veronica sets off a blue-dye packet in a trap he set for her.]
Keith: Hey, honey. What have you been up to?
Veronica: Tell me where to put your Father of the Year trophy, 'cause there's some place I'd like to put it!
Keith: Wow. Good thing I didn't go with the bear trap.
Veronica: This is not funny! I need to see that diary! She's lying. I know it. I can feel it with every fiber of my being.
Keith: Honey, you don't have to get all blue in the face.
Veronica: You're patronizing me?
Keith: To be fair, I am your patron.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
[Veronica is looking at a trophy case.]
Weevil: If you're looking for my trophy, it's back by auto shop.
Veronica: Lube job? Or, can you medal in stealing hub caps?
Weevil: Is this 1970? Rims, baby.
Veronica: So you got a trophy for a rim job?
Weevil: Forget it. Look, I got some information for you.
Veronica: Finally! A Deep Throat to call my own.
Weevil: I'm not going to touch that one.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Meg: Caz is always flirty with me, but that guy would flirt with a trash can if it had boobs.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: How hard can it be to find an actor named Tom Cruz?
Wallace: Tom Cruise? Not as good a private eye as I thought.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Wallace: Damn. This dog is a freak show. He oughta be in show biz.
Veronica: D'you think that's some kind of rare breed or something?
Wallace: That or a drunk dingo had a three-way with an ocelot and a porcupine.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Wallace: Mexican hairless. What's the point of having a dog if it's bald? What are you gonna pet? Skin?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Keith: Don't forget. You're a high school girl. Do some high school girl things now and then.
Veronica: Relax, Dad. I'm cutting pictures of Ashton out of Teen People as we speak.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Meg: [about Leo] Wow, Veronica, he totally wants to protect and serve you.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Duncan: Great game the other night man. Eighteen points, eight assists.
Wallace: On the streets we call those dimes.
Veronica: Streets? You live on the corner of Pleasant Valley and Marigold.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [as "Betty"] At my old school I was Horny! [receives odd looks] We were the Rhinos. I was the mascot.
Richie: And what school was that?
Veronica: Riverdale.
Richie: Never heard of it.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Weevil: Wait a minute. You went to a pet store and took a picture of yourself with a parrot so people would think you were cool?
Wilson: Yeah. All right?
Weevil: That's this close [uses thumb and finger to illustrate] to taking a hot cousin to your prom. Go home.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Leo: I hate to bribe you, but... I'm fairly certain that aiding and abetting qualifies me for a dinner date.
Veronica: Actually, it qualifies you for dinner and a movie, but you undershot, so...
Leo: Damn!

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Can you do me a weird favor without asking any questions?
Wallace: Isn't that the bedrock upon which our friendship was founded?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Caz, I'm kind of busy so let's play this at fast forward. I ask you to stop harassing Sabrina Fuller. You deny it. I eventually catch you. You're suspended, dropped from basketball and made the subject of a news blurb that everyone chuckles at in the papers. So stop harassing Sabrina, okay?
Caz: Look, I'm not harassing Sabrina.
Veronica: Caz, did you listen?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Keith: Look, I don't know if you were looking for "Pimp" in the phone book and just stopped at P.I....

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: My Dad spend the night at your place?
Wallace: Yep.
Veronica: He do the A.M. doughnut fake-out run?
Wallace: [pulls out paper bag] Want one?

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Hello? Yes, this is 'Miss Sabrina'. A bad boy? Well...Nestor Greely of Encinitas, twenty grand on credit cards, two divorces, and a repo'd Sebring. You have been a bad boy! Miss Sabrina commands you: put your pants back on and get a job!

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Caz, you were lurking. The innocent rarely lurk.

TV Show: Veronica Mars
Jake: You are having sex with my daughter?
Weevil: Not right now.

TV Show: Veronica Mars