It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes
Charlie: [to Mac] You know what dude, hear me out for a second okay. Now technically, that stain did appear to me. Also I am familiar with carpentry and I don't know who my father is. So, am I the messiah? I don't know, I could be, I'm not ruling it out.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frank: There is nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who is smart and attractive. We have to pretend you're both!
Dee: Wow, That's my dad everyone!
Dee: Wow, That's my dad everyone!
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Lady: Are you going to take care of the crime problem here?
Dennis: Absolutely, I say we put them on buses and ship them over to Iraq.. make them fight the terrorists.
Lady: You're very handsome.
Dennis: Thank you ha ha.
Charlie: This is going very, very well man.
Dennis: I know people are really responding to me.
Charlie: They love the bone structure.
Mac: [walking up to them] I've been looking for you guys everywhere...Look. I've been thinkin'...and I feel like I could be a real asset to you guys. I wanna help.
Charlie: What? Wait, wait, so first you wash your hands in politics and now you want back in? That's called flip-flopping, Mac! That's what Democrats do.
Dennis: Hang on a second Charlie, let's give the guy a chance to prove himself.
Mac: Yeah, yeah. Give me a chance...what should I do?
Charlie: "What should I do"? Strike one, buddy.
Dennis: You gotta bring something to the table, Mac.
Mac: All right...ah...check this out. [Goes up to woman pushing her baby in a stroller] Excuse me, hi. I couldn't help but notice your adorable baby.
Woman: Oh, thank you.
Mac: Yeah, I was wondering, [stopping the stroller from moving] if you wouldn't mind if that handsome young gentleman over there kissed it.
Woman: Excuse me?
Mac: Yeah...oh. I'm sorry. He's running for District 37 Comptroller, so it's cool.
Woman: You know, I'd rather not.
Mac: [stopping the stroller again] Yeah, well you know...it's...good for him and it's good for you, so I think you should maybe just give me the baby.
Woman: You know what? Please leave me alone.
Mac: OK, lady. Just give me the baby and I could get it over with as quickly as possible.
Dennis: Absolutely, I say we put them on buses and ship them over to Iraq.. make them fight the terrorists.
Lady: You're very handsome.
Dennis: Thank you ha ha.
Charlie: This is going very, very well man.
Dennis: I know people are really responding to me.
Charlie: They love the bone structure.
Mac: [walking up to them] I've been looking for you guys everywhere...Look. I've been thinkin'...and I feel like I could be a real asset to you guys. I wanna help.
Charlie: What? Wait, wait, so first you wash your hands in politics and now you want back in? That's called flip-flopping, Mac! That's what Democrats do.
Dennis: Hang on a second Charlie, let's give the guy a chance to prove himself.
Mac: Yeah, yeah. Give me a chance...what should I do?
Charlie: "What should I do"? Strike one, buddy.
Dennis: You gotta bring something to the table, Mac.
Mac: All right...ah...check this out. [Goes up to woman pushing her baby in a stroller] Excuse me, hi. I couldn't help but notice your adorable baby.
Woman: Oh, thank you.
Mac: Yeah, I was wondering, [stopping the stroller from moving] if you wouldn't mind if that handsome young gentleman over there kissed it.
Woman: Excuse me?
Mac: Yeah...oh. I'm sorry. He's running for District 37 Comptroller, so it's cool.
Woman: You know, I'd rather not.
Mac: [stopping the stroller again] Yeah, well you know...it's...good for him and it's good for you, so I think you should maybe just give me the baby.
Woman: You know what? Please leave me alone.
Mac: OK, lady. Just give me the baby and I could get it over with as quickly as possible.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: I never thought I'd ever say this in my life, but it's weird sleeping without a cat in my bed
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frank: How do kids study on this god damn ritterall? I can't stop grinding my teeth
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie You got that script that I wrote? Grab that script.
Dennis: I've been meaning to speak to you about this. I can't read these words. They're not in the right order.
Charlie It's good.
Dennis: I think you might be dyslexic, bro. I'm not reading this.
Charlie No, no, no, please read it.
Dennis: I think you might be dyslexic bro.
Charlie Just read the script once.
Dennis: Okay you want me to read the script?
Charlie Yes. And action.
Dennis: I'll read the words you wrote. "Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot." What? "Taxes, they'll be lower. Sun. The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do." This doesn't make any sense!
Dennis: I've been meaning to speak to you about this. I can't read these words. They're not in the right order.
Charlie It's good.
Dennis: I think you might be dyslexic, bro. I'm not reading this.
Charlie No, no, no, please read it.
Dennis: I think you might be dyslexic bro.
Charlie Just read the script once.
Dennis: Okay you want me to read the script?
Charlie Yes. And action.
Dennis: I'll read the words you wrote. "Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot." What? "Taxes, they'll be lower. Sun. The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do." This doesn't make any sense!
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: Ok,ok, uh I just killed three very large rats that were stuck in glue traps.
Dennis: Good work.
Charlie: No, no, no. That's not good trap. I'm done with rat detail. That's by far the worst job in the bar.
Dennis: That's why we call it Charlie Work.
Charlie: No, no dude not Charlie Work. There's like an emotional toll that comes out of this. I mean you kill one of these... [Dennis blows smoke in Charlie's face]
Charlie: You kidding me?
Dennis: What? What?
Charlie: You're blowing smoke directly in my face when I'm trying to talk to you.
Dennis: What is he talking about?
Charlie: You know if you wanna smoke, you should have to take it outside.
Frank: It's a bar.
Dennis: Yeah, it's a bar.
Dee: Yeah, but you know what? Charlie, I think you're right. I think we should ban smoking in here.
Mac: Oh, come on. That's completely ridiculous.
Dee: Why is that ridiculous? There are smoking bans in a lot of states now.
Mac: Uh, yes and its completely unamerican.
Dennis: If you don't like smoke, then don't come into the bar.
Charlie: I work in this bar. I work here.
Dennis: But that's because you have the freedom to choose to work here. Smoking bans, they don't protect freedom. They strip them away from smokers.
Frank: Look, I didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me.
Dee: You went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop!
Frank: ...and a lot of good men died in that sweatshop!
Dee: Oh my god.
Dennis: Look the point is if Charlie took any time to study in school, he would recognize that the Constitution protects my freedom to blow smoke all over his face.
Charlie: Y
Dennis: Good work.
Charlie: No, no, no. That's not good trap. I'm done with rat detail. That's by far the worst job in the bar.
Dennis: That's why we call it Charlie Work.
Charlie: No, no dude not Charlie Work. There's like an emotional toll that comes out of this. I mean you kill one of these... [Dennis blows smoke in Charlie's face]
Charlie: You kidding me?
Dennis: What? What?
Charlie: You're blowing smoke directly in my face when I'm trying to talk to you.
Dennis: What is he talking about?
Charlie: You know if you wanna smoke, you should have to take it outside.
Frank: It's a bar.
Dennis: Yeah, it's a bar.
Dee: Yeah, but you know what? Charlie, I think you're right. I think we should ban smoking in here.
Mac: Oh, come on. That's completely ridiculous.
Dee: Why is that ridiculous? There are smoking bans in a lot of states now.
Mac: Uh, yes and its completely unamerican.
Dennis: If you don't like smoke, then don't come into the bar.
Charlie: I work in this bar. I work here.
Dennis: But that's because you have the freedom to choose to work here. Smoking bans, they don't protect freedom. They strip them away from smokers.
Frank: Look, I didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me.
Dee: You went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop!
Frank: ...and a lot of good men died in that sweatshop!
Dee: Oh my god.
Dennis: Look the point is if Charlie took any time to study in school, he would recognize that the Constitution protects my freedom to blow smoke all over his face.
Charlie: Y
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna to kick a little ass, I'm gonna to kick some ass in the U.S.A., gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, I'm gonna kick some ass, I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE!!
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Dee: I am not a failure!
Mac: Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?
Dennis: Uh, that would in fact be a failure.
Mac: Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?
Dennis: Uh, that would in fact be a failure.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: Look, could you imagine America where everyone just gives up?
Dee: I don't care.
Charlie: Ok, let's just give up.
Mac: Hey Charlie.
Charlie: No look guys. How you doing? Have you come to gloat and shove it in my face?
Mac: No. No.
Charlie: No, it's okay and you know why? Because I give up. I'm living in GiveUp America.
Dennis: What are you talking about? Will you shut up?
Charlie: I'm gonna be a smoker.
Mac: You don't have to smoke Charlie.
Charlie: You know why? Because we give up. We live in GiveUp America. I live in GiveUp America. I live in an America where... hey Ryan. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but if you're not too busy showering in your brother's urine or plotting your revenge against me, would you mind lighting my cigarette? Thanks bro. Hey Liam, I'm sorry I sent you to jail man, but anytime you want to stab me, it'd be really great for me because... [Liam stabs Charlie in the back with a fork]
Liam: That's what you get Charlie.
Dennis: Hey get the hell out of here.
Liam: You get forkstabbed!
Dee: I don't care.
Charlie: Ok, let's just give up.
Mac: Hey Charlie.
Charlie: No look guys. How you doing? Have you come to gloat and shove it in my face?
Mac: No. No.
Charlie: No, it's okay and you know why? Because I give up. I'm living in GiveUp America.
Dennis: What are you talking about? Will you shut up?
Charlie: I'm gonna be a smoker.
Mac: You don't have to smoke Charlie.
Charlie: You know why? Because we give up. We live in GiveUp America. I live in GiveUp America. I live in an America where... hey Ryan. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but if you're not too busy showering in your brother's urine or plotting your revenge against me, would you mind lighting my cigarette? Thanks bro. Hey Liam, I'm sorry I sent you to jail man, but anytime you want to stab me, it'd be really great for me because... [Liam stabs Charlie in the back with a fork]
Liam: That's what you get Charlie.
Dennis: Hey get the hell out of here.
Liam: You get forkstabbed!
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mac: Do you want to shove heroin into your ass?
Charlie: Dude, I don't want to shove anything in my ass!
Mac: All right! This is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are, and not have to shove anything up our asses!
Charlie: Dude, I don't want to shove anything in my ass!
Mac: All right! This is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are, and not have to shove anything up our asses!
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mac: Well, maybe it boils down to this, smart guy: Computers are for losers.
Dennis: You're drinking a beer at 8: 00 in the morning!
Mac: Whatever, dude. Irrelevant.
Dennis: You're drinking a beer at 8: 00 in the morning!
Mac: Whatever, dude. Irrelevant.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: Dude, it's amazing. Look at this. Bro, you could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of this thing.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frank: After we made love, she did get pregnant. But she had an abortion.
Charlie: Really?
Frank: Yeah, yeah.
Charlie: Well, are you sure she went through with it, dude? 'Cause she probably didn't tell you.
Frank: She probably went right from the clinic and banged some guy and got knocked up, because your mother was a giant whore.
Charlie: Really?
Frank: Yeah, yeah.
Charlie: Well, are you sure she went through with it, dude? 'Cause she probably didn't tell you.
Frank: She probably went right from the clinic and banged some guy and got knocked up, because your mother was a giant whore.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Tanning Employee: You want to put your baby into a tanning bed?
Mac: We just want to put him in there for a couple of minutes.
Dee: Just to get a base.
Mac: [exaggerated] Just to get a base.
Mac: We just want to put him in there for a couple of minutes.
Dee: Just to get a base.
Mac: [exaggerated] Just to get a base.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frank: This is going to be exactly like Woodstock.
Dee: Oh, is it? Ooh, are you planning on getting yourself locked in the bathroom of your cousin's Winnebago for 3 days?
Frank: Shut up about that! I survived on hand soap and toilet water for three days. The memory haunts me.
Dee: Oh, is it? Ooh, are you planning on getting yourself locked in the bathroom of your cousin's Winnebago for 3 days?
Frank: Shut up about that! I survived on hand soap and toilet water for three days. The memory haunts me.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
The Waitress: I am not leaving here until you apologize to me.
Dennis: Yeah, well, you're going to be here for a while.
Frank: I'll give you fifty bucks if you take your top off... and drink soup out of my shoe.
Dennis: Yeah, well, you're going to be here for a while.
Frank: I'll give you fifty bucks if you take your top off... and drink soup out of my shoe.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Dennis: I have a proposition too. Why don't you walk in front of me so I don't get your blood all over my feet?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frank: I'm startin' to feel it.
Charlie: I bet you are, bud.
Frank: I'm feelin' weird.
Charlie: Yeah, you're probably feeling very weird.
Frank: The acid's makin' me feel like I gotta take a dump.
Charlie: That's what happens when you take a lot of acid, dude.
Frank: I gotta go.
Charlie: Then go.
Frank: The line's too long. Maybe I can hold it in.
Charlie: Then go in the McPoyles' camper, dude.
Frank: I don't know, that might bring back bad memories.
Charlie: Oh my God.
Frank: I think I wanna hold it. How you feelin'?
Charlie: Annoyed.
Frank: Nothin' kickin' in yet?
Charlie: What are you talking about, the beer?
Frank: No, the acid.
Charlie: I did not take any acid, remember?
Frank: [laughing] Oh yeah you did.
Charlie: What are you talking about?
Frank: I put a shitload of it in your beer.
Charlie: What!? Is that what all those little pieces of paper were floating in my be..?!
Frank: Yeah.
Charlie: I drank all that shit, dude!
Frank: That's OK.
Charlie: There was like a ton of acid in there!
Frank: Yeah!
Charlie: Why would you do that?!
Frank: I don't wanna be the only one trippin'.
Charlie: Oh my God, man! Oh my God! Oh my God!...
Frank: Charlie, I actually really need to go take a dump.
Charlie: Shut up! I don't care! Go! Go in the camper, dude! Get out of here!
Frank: [walks away]
Charlie: Oh, you sick son of a bitch, dude! Why would you d..!? Oh shit! Oh shit!
Charlie: I bet you are, bud.
Frank: I'm feelin' weird.
Charlie: Yeah, you're probably feeling very weird.
Frank: The acid's makin' me feel like I gotta take a dump.
Charlie: That's what happens when you take a lot of acid, dude.
Frank: I gotta go.
Charlie: Then go.
Frank: The line's too long. Maybe I can hold it in.
Charlie: Then go in the McPoyles' camper, dude.
Frank: I don't know, that might bring back bad memories.
Charlie: Oh my God.
Frank: I think I wanna hold it. How you feelin'?
Charlie: Annoyed.
Frank: Nothin' kickin' in yet?
Charlie: What are you talking about, the beer?
Frank: No, the acid.
Charlie: I did not take any acid, remember?
Frank: [laughing] Oh yeah you did.
Charlie: What are you talking about?
Frank: I put a shitload of it in your beer.
Charlie: What!? Is that what all those little pieces of paper were floating in my be..?!
Frank: Yeah.
Charlie: I drank all that shit, dude!
Frank: That's OK.
Charlie: There was like a ton of acid in there!
Frank: Yeah!
Charlie: Why would you do that?!
Frank: I don't wanna be the only one trippin'.
Charlie: Oh my God, man! Oh my God! Oh my God!...
Frank: Charlie, I actually really need to go take a dump.
Charlie: Shut up! I don't care! Go! Go in the camper, dude! Get out of here!
Frank: [walks away]
Charlie: Oh, you sick son of a bitch, dude! Why would you d..!? Oh shit! Oh shit!
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: Man this is crazy. You are dancing with the entire McPoyle Family. These people are freak shows, man...freaks. But you're keeping your cool. You're keeping your cool. You know why? Because you are the Green Man. Green Man is saving your life right now, bro. Just go with the flow.
Mac: Charlie, we've been looking all over for you, dude.
Dennis: Green Man, I knew you couldn't resist.
Charlie: Huh? You know what? I'm actually tripping pretty hard right now.
Mac: You're tripping?
Charlie: Yeah, Frank gave me some acid and it's like... whoo.
Mac: Oh, Jesus.
Liam: Hey guys. Guess who got invited to training camp?
Ryan: Yeah, we're going to be famous.
Dennis: Look we need to talk to Green Man for a minute please.
Mac: Yeah, just go over there.
Dennis: Let's go man. Thank you. Charlie, where is Frank, it's very important.
Charlie: Oh, Frank? He's standing right there.
Mac: Frank, What the hell are you doing?
Artemis: He's been trying to climb through that trash can for 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure he's on acid.
Frank: Thank God you guys are here! How did you get in here?
Dennis: What the hell are you talking about? (Mac looks around)
Frank: I've been stuck in this bathroom for three hours!
Artemis: I think he took a dump in there.
Mac: Can you give us a second, please?
Artemis: Whatever. I'm getting tired of watching him anyway.
Dennis: All right, Frank, listen. Did you bring your gun today?
Mac: Charlie, we've been looking all over for you, dude.
Dennis: Green Man, I knew you couldn't resist.
Charlie: Huh? You know what? I'm actually tripping pretty hard right now.
Mac: You're tripping?
Charlie: Yeah, Frank gave me some acid and it's like... whoo.
Mac: Oh, Jesus.
Liam: Hey guys. Guess who got invited to training camp?
Ryan: Yeah, we're going to be famous.
Dennis: Look we need to talk to Green Man for a minute please.
Mac: Yeah, just go over there.
Dennis: Let's go man. Thank you. Charlie, where is Frank, it's very important.
Charlie: Oh, Frank? He's standing right there.
Mac: Frank, What the hell are you doing?
Artemis: He's been trying to climb through that trash can for 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure he's on acid.
Frank: Thank God you guys are here! How did you get in here?
Dennis: What the hell are you talking about? (Mac looks around)
Frank: I've been stuck in this bathroom for three hours!
Artemis: I think he took a dump in there.
Mac: Can you give us a second, please?
Artemis: Whatever. I'm getting tired of watching him anyway.
Dennis: All right, Frank, listen. Did you bring your gun today?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mac: Great. Walk me through the plan again.
Dennis: Awesome.
Dennis: The plan is I get close to Dee. When she goes to punt the ball, I'll fire the gun. It'll startle her. She'll blow the kick.
Mac: That's a great plan.
Charlie (as Green Man): Wait a second! How long have I been standing right here?
Dennis: Like, two seconds.
Charlie: Seriously?
Dennis: Frank, give me the gun.
Frank: Where is it?
Dennis: It's in your hand!
Charlie: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! When the hell did I put Green Man on?
Dennis: I don't know!
Frank: That lizard talks!
Charlie: Where? Where? I don't like lizards!
Mac: We don't have time for this! Frank, just give us the gun!
Dennis: Awesome.
Dennis: The plan is I get close to Dee. When she goes to punt the ball, I'll fire the gun. It'll startle her. She'll blow the kick.
Mac: That's a great plan.
Charlie (as Green Man): Wait a second! How long have I been standing right here?
Dennis: Like, two seconds.
Charlie: Seriously?
Dennis: Frank, give me the gun.
Frank: Where is it?
Dennis: It's in your hand!
Charlie: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! When the hell did I put Green Man on?
Dennis: I don't know!
Frank: That lizard talks!
Charlie: Where? Where? I don't like lizards!
Mac: We don't have time for this! Frank, just give us the gun!
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mac and Dennis: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!
Frank: Lizard, am I standing in poop?
Frank: Lizard, am I standing in poop?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frank: I got good news! Your mother is dead--ha!
Dennis: Yeah, right. Nice try. Very funny, Frank.
Frank: I'm serious this time. She had a botched neck lift! She's as dead as disco--hehehe! Who wants champagne?! [Frank pops the cork on a bottle of champagne]
Dennis: Yeah, right. Nice try. Very funny, Frank.
Frank: I'm serious this time. She had a botched neck lift! She's as dead as disco--hehehe! Who wants champagne?! [Frank pops the cork on a bottle of champagne]
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: It's locked! All right, let me try this out.
Dennis: What is that, your apartment key? That's not gonna work!
Charlie: Why not?
Dennis: We're not at your apartment, shithead!
Charlie: Well how many possible lock combinations can there be?
Dennis: Oh, so many, dude, like hundreds of millions.
Charlie: Well eventually they're gonna overlap--
Dennis: They're not ever gonna--
Charlie: You know what, you're right, it's not working.
Dennis: Oh, no shit.
Charlie: Well it was worth a try!
Dennis: It was not worth a try.
Dennis: What is that, your apartment key? That's not gonna work!
Charlie: Why not?
Dennis: We're not at your apartment, shithead!
Charlie: Well how many possible lock combinations can there be?
Dennis: Oh, so many, dude, like hundreds of millions.
Charlie: Well eventually they're gonna overlap--
Dennis: They're not ever gonna--
Charlie: You know what, you're right, it's not working.
Dennis: Oh, no shit.
Charlie: Well it was worth a try!
Dennis: It was not worth a try.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: Remember when we made the news show for eighth grade for social studies, dude?
Mac: See, that was real news.
Charlie: Yeah, we didn't distort facts. We told it like it was, you know?
Mac: Yes.
Dennis: Yeah, I remember that video. You guys were burning G.I. Joes and throwing rocks at cats.
Mac: See, that was real news.
Charlie: Yeah, we didn't distort facts. We told it like it was, you know?
Mac: Yes.
Dennis: Yeah, I remember that video. You guys were burning G.I. Joes and throwing rocks at cats.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
[In a retirement home]
Mac: These places are like prison...
Frank: Like people getting their ass raped?
Charlie: What? Oh my God, no one's getting ass raped, Frank! Come on, man!
Mac: No, it's just that people don't wanna be here, because they feel like...
Frank: Because they're getting their ass raped!
Mac: These places are like prison...
Frank: Like people getting their ass raped?
Charlie: What? Oh my God, no one's getting ass raped, Frank! Come on, man!
Mac: No, it's just that people don't wanna be here, because they feel like...
Frank: Because they're getting their ass raped!
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mac: The shit's always going down in Chinatown, boys!
Charlie: Okay, okay, quick conference, guys. Everyone, keep their eyes peeled for drifting. All right, people here they love... look at this guy, he's definitely a drifter, all right? He's going to his car and he's going to slide it sideways, ya know what I mean?
Mac: And you know what happens with tokyo drifting? It leads to bickering, which of course leads to karate.
Charlie: Which eventually leads to dudes flying from window to window and treetop to treetop.
Mac: Shooting lightning bolts out of their hands
Charlie: Yeah! And then there's the guy that shoots lightning bolts out of his hands. He wears a big straw hat and he does that move. His eyes go all white and shit and Kurt Russell fights him.
Charlie: Okay, okay, quick conference, guys. Everyone, keep their eyes peeled for drifting. All right, people here they love... look at this guy, he's definitely a drifter, all right? He's going to his car and he's going to slide it sideways, ya know what I mean?
Mac: And you know what happens with tokyo drifting? It leads to bickering, which of course leads to karate.
Charlie: Which eventually leads to dudes flying from window to window and treetop to treetop.
Mac: Shooting lightning bolts out of their hands
Charlie: Yeah! And then there's the guy that shoots lightning bolts out of his hands. He wears a big straw hat and he does that move. His eyes go all white and shit and Kurt Russell fights him.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Dee: I bet you don't even have any black people here.
Pool Guy: Excuse me, ma'am, but there's an African American family right there.
Dee: Well good for you. You keep a couple token ones around. Do you parade them around like a couple dancing monkeys?
Pool Guy: Excuse me, ma'am, but there's an African American family right there.
Dee: Well good for you. You keep a couple token ones around. Do you parade them around like a couple dancing monkeys?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Lawyer: I am so sorry. My apologies, we're so busy today. It's good to see all of you.
Dennis: That's quite all right, sir. Don't worry about it. Listen, would now be a good time to say a few words about my wonderfully warm and caring mother?
Dee: No, just get to the reading part.
Frank: Get on with it, man. Let's go.
Lawyer: All right. Uh, which one of you, uh, is Frank Reynolds?
Frank: Yo!
Lawyer: OK, uh, Frank, I have something here I need to read to you from Barbara. [reading] "Frank, if your fat monkey heart is still beating, then congratulations. I want you to know that I hereby leave all of your money to Bruce Mathis, the real father of my children."
Dennis: What?!
Dee: What?!
Frank: Bruce Mathis?!
Lawyer: [reading] "A handsome man with a beautiful soul and a nicer penis."
Frank: You're giving all of my money to that jerk-off!?
Lawyer: You know, Mr. Reynolds, I'm reading what's on the document.
Dee: Why are you giving it to him?!
Lawyer: I'm not--
Dee: She barely even knew him!
Lawyer: Yeah, I'm not giving any money to anybody, you see. I'm just reading what's on a will.
Frank: Where is that rat bastard?!
Lawyer: Sir, I don't know!
Frank: 'Cuz I wanna smash his face, until he's dead--killed dead!
Dennis: Frank, would you forget about Bruce?! Mom just gave away all of our money!
Lawyer: You know what, we should just move forward, OK? [reading] "For my darling son, Dennis...presumably." [motioning to Dennis] "I give you my house."
Dennis: Yeah, OK... well yeah, now it's starting to make sense. Read on.
Lawyer: "...on the sole condition that Frank not be allowed in."
Dennis:
Dennis: That's quite all right, sir. Don't worry about it. Listen, would now be a good time to say a few words about my wonderfully warm and caring mother?
Dee: No, just get to the reading part.
Frank: Get on with it, man. Let's go.
Lawyer: All right. Uh, which one of you, uh, is Frank Reynolds?
Frank: Yo!
Lawyer: OK, uh, Frank, I have something here I need to read to you from Barbara. [reading] "Frank, if your fat monkey heart is still beating, then congratulations. I want you to know that I hereby leave all of your money to Bruce Mathis, the real father of my children."
Dennis: What?!
Dee: What?!
Frank: Bruce Mathis?!
Lawyer: [reading] "A handsome man with a beautiful soul and a nicer penis."
Frank: You're giving all of my money to that jerk-off!?
Lawyer: You know, Mr. Reynolds, I'm reading what's on the document.
Dee: Why are you giving it to him?!
Lawyer: I'm not--
Dee: She barely even knew him!
Lawyer: Yeah, I'm not giving any money to anybody, you see. I'm just reading what's on a will.
Frank: Where is that rat bastard?!
Lawyer: Sir, I don't know!
Frank: 'Cuz I wanna smash his face, until he's dead--killed dead!
Dennis: Frank, would you forget about Bruce?! Mom just gave away all of our money!
Lawyer: You know what, we should just move forward, OK? [reading] "For my darling son, Dennis...presumably." [motioning to Dennis] "I give you my house."
Dennis: Yeah, OK... well yeah, now it's starting to make sense. Read on.
Lawyer: "...on the sole condition that Frank not be allowed in."
Dennis:
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia