Laverne and Shirley Quotes
Laverne DeFazio: They don't hear you're Willamina, they don't hear that you stuff your bra with socks, all they hear is I can't drive.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley Feeney: Laverne, I'm telling you, flying is safer than driving! Nobody has ever crashed into a cloud!
Laverne De Fazio: Yeah well nobody ever fell 40,000 feet from a DeSoto either.
Laverne De Fazio: Yeah well nobody ever fell 40,000 feet from a DeSoto either.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley Feeney: I do NOT vo-dee-oh-doh-doh!
Laverne De Fazio: You vo-dee-OH...
Laverne De Fazio: You vo-dee-OH...
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley Feeney: [discussing one of Shirley's relatives who was fine for six months after an accident and then relapsed] She couldn't perform any of her wifely duties.
Carmine 'The Big Ragoo' Ragusa: Oh, cooking and cleaning?
Laverne DeFazio: [getting what Shirley means] Not at all?
Shirley Feeney: Zilcho.
Laverne DeFazio: No wonder they're always so cranky.
Carmine 'The Big Ragoo' Ragusa: Oh! THOSE wifely duties! I get it now, I didn't before.
Carmine 'The Big Ragoo' Ragusa: Oh, cooking and cleaning?
Laverne DeFazio: [getting what Shirley means] Not at all?
Shirley Feeney: Zilcho.
Laverne DeFazio: No wonder they're always so cranky.
Carmine 'The Big Ragoo' Ragusa: Oh! THOSE wifely duties! I get it now, I didn't before.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: Hey, what's with all the tropical flora?
Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: Didn't you used to date her?
Squiggy: Nah, that was Teresa DeFluca.
Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: Didn't you used to date her?
Squiggy: Nah, that was Teresa DeFluca.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: A Society gentleman would only go out with you for one reason - to have a good time, a few laughs, and a little vo-dee-oh-doh-doh.
Shirley: I don't vo-dee-oh-doh-doh!
Laverne: You vo-dee-oh-doh-doh.
Shirley: I don't vo-dee-oh-doh-doh!
Laverne: You vo-dee-OH...
Shirley: Once, and I was going steady a whole year...
Shirley: I don't vo-dee-oh-doh-doh!
Laverne: You vo-dee-oh-doh-doh.
Shirley: I don't vo-dee-oh-doh-doh!
Laverne: You vo-dee-OH...
Shirley: Once, and I was going steady a whole year...
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: No, thank you. We're going to a formal society dinner.
Lenny: [Sarcastically] Whoa, pardon me ladies...
Squiggy: Yeah, I would've worn my tuxedo, but my polo pony ate it.
Lenny: [Sarcastically] Whoa, pardon me ladies...
Squiggy: Yeah, I would've worn my tuxedo, but my polo pony ate it.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: If in heaven we don't meet, hand in hand we'll bear the heat. And if it ever gets too hot, Pepsi Cola hits the spot.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Laverne, the only parties we've ever been to are bring-your-own.
Laverne: I like bringin' my own... that way I know what I'm gettin'.
Laverne: I like bringin' my own... that way I know what I'm gettin'.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: [To Fonzie] This is Nana Shotz.
Fonzie: Hey Nana, life begins at 80, woah!
Fonzie: Hey Nana, life begins at 80, woah!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Some day, God willing, I'm gonna be a mother. And if my daughter comes to me and says, "Mama, I want to go to this bachelor party and come outta this cake"... what can I tell her?
Laverne: A lot more than most mothers!
Laverne: A lot more than most mothers!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: Shirl, believe me, I'm not sick, and there's nothing in this place that will make me sick.
Squiggy: Hello!
Squiggy: Hello!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: She went to Chicago and became a nun. I stayed in Milwaukee and became a bimbo.
Laverne: You're no bimbo, Shirl.
Shirley: Yes, I am. Compared to her, I'm a bimbo.
Laverne: She's a nun. Compared to her, Eleanor Roosevelt's a bimbo.
Laverne: You're no bimbo, Shirl.
Shirley: Yes, I am. Compared to her, I'm a bimbo.
Laverne: She's a nun. Compared to her, Eleanor Roosevelt's a bimbo.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: I'll be as loose as I ever am on a first date. A little of this, a little of that, but no petting.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: [To Shirley] What do you say we go to the drive-in, and you let me run amuck?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: He probably heard what a fun date you are.
Shirley: I know I'm fun...
Shirley: I know I'm fun...
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: It's different for you. You don't have a reputation to protect.
Squiggy: What are you talking about, Shirley? For the first time in my life, I got a reputation!
Squiggy: What are you talking about, Shirley? For the first time in my life, I got a reputation!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: It just doesn't seem fair. A guy with a reputation is a hero. A girl with a reputation is a bimbo It just doesn't seem fair.
Shirley: Well, who knows, maybe a hundred years from now all that will have changed.
Laverne: Yeah, wouldn't it be great if no one cared about your reputation? Think of all the fun you could have!
Shirley: Well, who knows, maybe a hundred years from now all that will have changed.
Laverne: Yeah, wouldn't it be great if no one cared about your reputation? Think of all the fun you could have!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Mrs. Feeney: Now tell me, what do you girls like to do on a Saturday night?
Laverne: At home or in a car?
Laverne: At home or in a car?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: Lenny and I have two very respectful women upstairs, and we'd like to settle down to a nice, quiet orgy.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: What would you have to do if we wanted a color TV?
Shirley: We don't do those things.
Shirley: We don't do those things.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Richie: Well, maybe we should do something again sometime.
Shirley: Anything but murder, mister.
Shirley: Anything but murder, mister.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: [To Lenny] What are you doing?!? When I'm talking to girls, don't stick your fingers in your mouth!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Big Rosie: [To Shirley] She drowned my fox!! (after Laverne dumps her stole in the punch-bowl)
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: Me and Squiggy was talking and we decided that your kid oughta have a last name.
Laverne: Huh?
Lenny: On account of, if he don't, the poor little guy's never gonna get any mail.
Laverne: Huh?
Lenny: On account of, if he don't, the poor little guy's never gonna get any mail.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley