It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes
Dennis: So, uh, Dennis and Dee Reynolds here, we are talking about the homeless issue here in Philly, that's a big issue these days and we're here with our friend Cricket, he is a homeless man. Cricket, walk us through a day in your life.
Rickety Cricket: A day in the life-- well, the other morning, I wake up and I find a dog sniffin' at my wound. He's fully aroused - mind you - so I'm thinking "oh great, what does this jerk want?" Of course I know what he wants, he's looking at me right in the eyes, he does not have to say it - not that he could. [Starts sucking on a lemon] Urrggghhhh that is- that is tart! That is really tart. I mean does my scar look like a dog's vagina? You know, maybe, I don't know, I'm not going to sit here and try to get inside the mind of a dog! I mean that's God's work. Well, not that I believe in God, I don't. Not since that chinaman stole my kidney.
Rickety Cricket: A day in the life-- well, the other morning, I wake up and I find a dog sniffin' at my wound. He's fully aroused - mind you - so I'm thinking "oh great, what does this jerk want?" Of course I know what he wants, he's looking at me right in the eyes, he does not have to say it - not that he could. [Starts sucking on a lemon] Urrggghhhh that is- that is tart! That is really tart. I mean does my scar look like a dog's vagina? You know, maybe, I don't know, I'm not going to sit here and try to get inside the mind of a dog! I mean that's God's work. Well, not that I believe in God, I don't. Not since that chinaman stole my kidney.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mrs. Mac: They ain't American, I don't want to know them.
Mrs. Kelly: I know. I wish they'd all go back to the desert.
Mac: It does seem like they're bonding.
Charlie: It's not really a Golden Girls type conversation, it's a racist conversation.
Mrs. Kelly: I know. I wish they'd all go back to the desert.
Mac: It does seem like they're bonding.
Charlie: It's not really a Golden Girls type conversation, it's a racist conversation.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mac: Mom was a manager of Jiffy Lube for many years.
Charle: I never heard about this.
Mac: Well, she doesn't like to brag. She started her way at the bottom and worked her way to the tippidy top.
Charlie: There's only three people at Jiffy Lube so it's not exactly a high climb.
Charle: I never heard about this.
Mac: Well, she doesn't like to brag. She started her way at the bottom and worked her way to the tippidy top.
Charlie: There's only three people at Jiffy Lube so it's not exactly a high climb.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frank: We're trying to piece a night together and we need your help.
Artemis: I don't remember that night.
Frank: I didn't tell you which night yet.
Artemis: I don't remember most evenings.
Artemis: I don't remember that night.
Frank: I didn't tell you which night yet.
Artemis: I don't remember most evenings.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Dee: Just so I'm clear, you don't actually think things are going to come alive because you're spending the night in museum, right?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mac: A lot of great actors have done blackface.
Dennis: There's countless examples of very classy actors doing black face. We got the great C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man. We got the Wayans Brothers in White Chicks. That was a very tasteful example of reverse blackface.
Dennis: There's countless examples of very classy actors doing black face. We got the great C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man. We got the Wayans Brothers in White Chicks. That was a very tasteful example of reverse blackface.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: Principal McIntyre, I recently starting mentoring one of the kids here.
Principal McIntyre: Really? That's odd, because you're a janitor.
Principal McIntyre: Really? That's odd, because you're a janitor.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Dee: You've been really stressed so I thought I'd take you to a spa day. Just the two of us.
Charlie: A what day?
Dee: Spa day.
Charlie: What is this word, spa? I feel like you're starting to a say a word and you're not finishing it. Spaghetti? Are you taking me to a spaghetti day?
Charlie: A what day?
Dee: Spa day.
Charlie: What is this word, spa? I feel like you're starting to a say a word and you're not finishing it. Spaghetti? Are you taking me to a spaghetti day?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: oh my god i just found a rats nest slaughtered about 200 of them. It's like whole generations of those things have died at my hands. Mothers, fathers, grandfathers, little baby rats.
Dee: Well, you know, keep up the good work.
Charlie: Sometimes, I wonder though, if our lives are really more valuable than theirs. You know what I mean?
Dennis: Yeah they are. Our lives definitely are without a doubt.
Dee: Well, you know, keep up the good work.
Charlie: Sometimes, I wonder though, if our lives are really more valuable than theirs. You know what I mean?
Dennis: Yeah they are. Our lives definitely are without a doubt.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: What does 3D even stand for?
Dee: 3rd Dimension. Just... shh. Please stop talking.
Charlie: 3rd Dimen... (chuckles) What dimension are we in?
Dee: Shh, Charlie. I don't know. Shh.
Charlie: Isn't stuff... like... suppossed to pop out at us?
Dee: I don't know. I'm not sure. Let's watch and find out.
Dee: 3rd Dimension. Just... shh. Please stop talking.
Charlie: 3rd Dimen... (chuckles) What dimension are we in?
Dee: Shh, Charlie. I don't know. Shh.
Charlie: Isn't stuff... like... suppossed to pop out at us?
Dee: I don't know. I'm not sure. Let's watch and find out.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: Wow. Did you see that?
Dee: Yeah, yeah. I saw that.
Charlie: That came like right at you. Is this safe?
Dee: Yeah, yeah. I saw that.
Charlie: That came like right at you. Is this safe?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie (eating spaghetti out of a zip-loc bag): What's your spaghetti policy?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie: Are you wearing makeup?
Dennis: I'm always wearing a little bit of foundation but that's not the point.
Dennis: I'm always wearing a little bit of foundation but that's not the point.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Frank: Animals should be food, rugs and trophies. Why do you think I'm wearing a leather suit?
Dee: That's leather? I thought it was plastic.
Frank: Who the hell wears a plastic suit?
Dee: I just don't question the things you do anymore.
Dee: That's leather? I thought it was plastic.
Frank: Who the hell wears a plastic suit?
Dee: I just don't question the things you do anymore.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
[repeated lines, said in no specific order]
Mac: Absolutely.
Charlie Kelly: Absolutely.
Dennis Reynolds: Absolutely.
Mac: Absolutely.
Charlie Kelly: Absolutely.
Dennis Reynolds: Absolutely.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Donna: You're thirty-three years old, you're supposed to be sexually active! You're not supposed to be fondling your uncle under the table
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: [talking about the waitress] She got a job at the fair I can probably stalk her there.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: But I am who I am.
Mac: Yeah let's pretend you aren't who you are and just try to attract a woman.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: But I do feel like she tried the intervention on us
Dennis Reynolds: are you intervening us is that what that was? [pause]
Dennis Reynolds: you know what I'm feeling I'm feeling like you've lost control of the room here. When really we're the ones who are running things here
Dee Reynolds: I've lost my trust in you, I feel like we can do this on our own.
Dennis Reynolds: I think we can do the intervention on our own without her.
Charlie Kelly: Do you guys think?
Dee Reynolds: [turns to Charlie] Yeah
Charlie Kelly: Alright, might as well give it a shot.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: I'm gonna kick some ass! I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass! Rock, flag, and eagle!
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: Later dudes, S you in your A's Don't wear a C and J all over your B's
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: Oooh shit... Look at the door, dude. You see that door right there? The one marked pirate? You think a pirate lives in there?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: So what you want a maid?
Frank Reynolds: That's right a maid, a maid I can bang
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: What are you gonna do, hit him? No, that's a terrible idea, I'll tell you why: it doesn't unbang your mom.
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: When was the last time we played night crawlers together Frank?
Dennis Reynolds: Uhh. What's what's that?
Charlie Kelly: Well, it's... not about you. Why don't you just write it down?
TV Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia