Press Gang Quotes

Colin: I'm not following this am I?
Frazz: Of course you are, just a long long way behind.

Movie: Press Gang
Lynda: I'm not being unreasonable, I'm keeping my cool. All I want is simply for this person to be removed from the studio and shot dead.

Movie: Press Gang
Spike: I like your dress.
Lynda: What about the jacket?
Spike: I like the dress.
Lynda: You think the jacket goes?
Spike: I hope it does.

Movie: Press Gang
Spike: Why do I stick with that woman?
Julie: Because you're completely obsessively madly in love with her.
Spike: Oh there's gotta be more to it than that.

Movie: Press Gang
Tiddler: Colin, what does a rabbit mean to you?
Colin Matthews: A four pack of lucky feet.

Movie: Press Gang
[Julie wants Spike to go undercover on a date for an exclusive interview]
Julie: ...He'd be, well, seducing her.
Spike: Yeah, but I'd only be doing it so I could nail her... I mean pin her down... Look, this could be a big story for us; All Julie's suggesting is, if I can get this woman relaxed by candlelight, maybe, just maybe, I could loosen her tongue. [Lynda slaps Spike]

Movie: Press Gang
Kenny: Why me?
Lynda: Sullivan likes you.
Kenny: Sullivan hates me!
Lynda: All right, Sullivan knows you. Now go!”

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: We'll have sewage all over the front page!

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: [arriving at Mr Sullivan's house, nervous]: Hello, Mr Sewage!

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [picking up the phone]: Shut up, Kenny!

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Lynda [on the phone]: Kenny, what choice have we got?
Kenny: How did you know it was me?
Lynda: Save the print run. We've got till seven. How did you know I was here?

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda (on Sam): "She's arrogant, self opinionated and impossible to deal with. Who does she think she is?
Kenny: You?

TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: Can you imagine it? For two hours the audience sat and watched a box with a spotlight on it. Not many came back after the interval. At the end there were just these four drama students who gave it a standing ovation and asked me to join their drama group. Kenny, have you any idea how humiliating it is to take your escape artist home in a box?

TV Show: Press Gang
Sam [to Spike]: It's amazing how you're still a jerk under pressure.

TV Show: Press Gang
Sam: Are you okay, Kenny?
Kenny: I told you, didn’t I? It’s Jenny. She dumped me.
Sam: Yeah, but that was this morning, wasn’t it? Kenny, everyone gets dumped. Even I’ve been dumped. Once. I think. Actually, what did happen to him? I think I might just have forgotten I had him. It’s terrible when you lose track of one, isn’t it?

TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: Suzy, I caught one of your matches the other day and I was impressed. Just a little word of advice though, show your legs more.

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: Look, can we discuss your proposed spending plan for the graphics department quarterly target allocation?
Sam: What does that word mean?
Kenny: Which one?
Sam: Any one.

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: Graphic Department spending proposals. An HB pencil and a sunbed?
Sam: Well, I can explain the pencil.

TV Show: Press Gang
Sam: Kenny, I need a sunbed. I need a skin tint that goes with my hair colour.
Kenny: And you think that's a justified office purchase, do you?
Sam: Yeah, of course, it's justified. If I don't stay gorgeous what are the guys round here going to think about at night?
Kenny: I'm sure they'll manage to think about someone else.
Sam: Exactly.
Kenny: Well, we'll compromise, then. How about a hole in the roof?

TV Show: Press Gang
Sam: So, how are you feeling?
Kenny: You know how it is. No, I'm fine, really. I just have this occasional tendency to drop to my knees, beat the ground with my fists and sob hysterically. Mum has to tether me up the garden at night so I can howl at the moon, but basically, I'm still the warm, lovable human being as I ever was. Except I can't speak to brunettes without attempting to strangle them.

TV Show: Press Gang
Sam: Hey, there are other girls in the world.
Kenny: "Yeah? That's what everyone says, but I don't believe them."

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: How could anyone be madly in love with you?
Spike: I don't know. But then again, I'm the only person in this conversation who isn't.
Lynda: No, I am.

TV Show: Press Gang
Mr Sullivan [on the conundrum of Lynda's woodcarving]: Well, it's obvious isn't it? A freak worm hole has opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum. This seemingly insignificant woodcarving has been sucked back in time ten years to the bedroom of the infant Lynda Day. But what awesome celestial forces are behind this strange phenomenon? And what, Lynda, is their evil purpose? We shall have to act quickly to save the entire Universe!"

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [aged 6, on Kenny]: He followed me. He always follows me.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: I'm telling you, Kenny, Spike has absolutely no effect on me whatsoever.
Spike: Hey Lynda, is it okay if I borrow your pencil?
Lynda: Will you stop making stupid suggestive remarks!

TV Show: Press Gang
Sam: But you're the perfect one to do it, Kenny. You've got that steel in you, Kenny.
Kenny: I see. So, you think that if you can perch on my desk, cross your legs, flatter me, ruffle my hair, that I'm going to fire Claire Pearson?
Sam: I haven't ruffled your hair.
Kenny: See, you're not even trying, are you?
Sam: Nice line, Kenny.

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Sam: I'm beginning to think there are hidden depths in you.
Kenny: I've got depths like you wouldn't believe. I just don't spend much time there.

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: I'm going in there now, and if you hear screaming, you know what to do?
Sam: Calm you down and get you a glass of water?
Kenny: No, watch and weep.
Sam [as he leaves, to Kate]: Flatter 'em, doubt 'em, challenge 'em. Never fails.

TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: Do you want to buy a sucker gun?
Spike: What are those for, shooting your customers?

TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: I remember when Lynda used to need two for a conversation.
Sam: I don't.

TV Show: Press Gang