The Raccoons Quotes

Cyril: Try to surprise Cyril Sneer? Well I love to spoil surprises!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: You are nothing but a powerless paralytic inept ineffective bumbing bunch of deadbeat bears! Some secret service! You didn't even load the camera! You don't seem to realise that if I go, you go! Somewhere out there is an army that is out to destroy everything I've pillaged, cheated, robbed and connived to build. And because of your bumbling they not only know that I know what they know but I don't even know when they'll do what I know they'll do! Anyway, I don't like not knowing! Now get out there and dig up some dirt!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: What's this?
Cedric: My homework!
Cyril: You've been out of school for three years!
Cedric: It's... late?

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: My own son, plotting to overthrow me? Very commendable! I didn't know you had it in you!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: I'm not supposed to have visitors!
Bert: We're not visitors. We're liberators!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: What Melissa wants to talk about Bert is…our private time.
Bert: Our private time? But Ralph, I love our private time! Why I even love our private time when Melissa is with us too!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: I'm not afraid of anything! I even go to sleep without a nightlight!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: If you can’t make it on your own, then you can’t make it! And that’s the way you’ve got to make it in this world Cedric. Alone!

TV Show: The Raccoons
(Cyril sets off a trap which causes a boulder to roll down the hill to stop Bert getting up the mountain)
Cyril: I built this stuff into the mountain twenty years ago, and it still works!
(The boulder rebounds off the curved trunk of a tree just before it reaches Bert, and is sent flying back towards Cyril and the pigs)
Pig One: Unfortunately sir, but...
Pig Two: That tree wasn't there...
Pig Three: TWENTY YEARS AGO!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: (About Bert) What? He's still coming? He must be a cat in a raccoonskin suit!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: This is the secret we've been protecting!?
(The pigs laugh)
Cyril: You find something funny about a Sneer that gave away all his money?
Pigs: No sir! No sir!
Cyril: A Sneer who gave everything away to charity? This statue is an embarassment to me! It could ruin my image forever!
Pig One: But sir, why don't you just destroy it?
Cyril: Destroy it?!?
Pig Two: Oh yes sir, destroy it!
Cyril: On top of by being quiet, humble, generous and kind, I also always keep my word.
Flashback of Cyril's Uncle: Promise me!
Cyril: I suggest you do the same.
Pigs: Yes sir.
Cyril: Because if one breath ever gets out about this, it'll be kicking you off of the 50 yard line at next year's Superbowl! Is that clear?
Pigs: Yes sir!
Pig One: Your secret's safe with us sir!
Pig Two: Our lips are sealed!
Cyril: So's your fate! Now get this eyesore where no one will ever find it!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Rub your belly with linseed oil, wrap your head in aluminum foil, Clap your hands, stamp your feet, our secret hand shake can't be beat! YAHOO!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: That’s it? That’s the fort you guys have been bragging about?
Ralph: Well…I guess it does need a little work here and there.
Cedric: A little work? It needs an architectural firm!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Hey you! Bring that umbrella back here! What are you trying to do, turn me purple?
Pig Two: Yes sir! I mean no sir!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Of course I want you to check it out! Why do you think I pay you that fancy salary?
Pigs (in unison): But we’ve never been paid!
Cyril: The cheque's in the mail.

TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: Well Cedric, those beans ought to hold you till morning.
Cedric: They'll hold me for a month!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: I knew we shouldn't have come out on a full moon!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: It was... just the wind!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: Did you bring me anything special Sophia?
Sophia: Oh yes, Cedric!
Bert: Great! what is it? Peanut Butter?
Melissa: Even better, Bert!
Cedric: Chocolate Pudding?
Sophia: No, something you boys would really enjoy...Beans!
Ralph: Beans?

TV Show: The Raccoons
Sophia: Hey Melissa, let's try that secret handshake again!
Ralph: I've got a better idea, let's all try it together!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: (about the Sneermobile) I want this thing to guzzle gas, belch smoke, and tear up the pavement, not neccesarily in that order!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: This could be the end of the forest as we know it!
Melissa: This could be the end of our way of life!
Bert: Hey! This could be the beginning of a brand new career!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Careful you swine. Ruin this oppritunity for me, and you'll all be invited to a big barbeque. Hah. As the main course!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Wait til you see the lead we take in this lap Mammoth! There'll be enough daylight between us and them to fill an Arctic Summer!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: You porkers couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Out of my way! I've got millions to make!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Schaeffer: Hi, Cedric! What's in the bag?
Cedric: Oh, nothing...just a few of my personal belongings...
Melissa: Cedric, is everything all right?
Cedric: No, I've left home. Pop doesn't appreciate me. He thinks I'm just a living, breathing adding machine.
Melissa: Oh, Cedric, Cyril loves you...in his own mercenary way.

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: (To Pig Two) If you were twice as smart as you think you are, you'd still be a halfwit!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: This place looks like a pig sty!
Pigs: Oh, Thank you, sir! We try sir!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: Good night Bert, Goodnight Cedric.
Cedric: Goodnight.
Bert: Goodnight.
Cedric: WAIT!
Bert: What is it?
Cedric: I can't fall asleep, until I here my lullaby!
Ralph: I don't think we know your lullaby.
Melissa: Why don't you sing it for us, and maybe we'l learn it for tomorrow night?
Cedric: It's not the same unless Pop is singing it.

TV Show: The Raccoons