The Raccoons Quotes
Cyril: Because by noon on the 13th, this deceiving Daily dupes the unwitting public for the last time!
Pig One: But sir, they only print the facts!
Cyril: Facts? I'll give you facts! The life expectancy of a loudmouth pig is shortened every time it opens it's mouth! Understand?
Pig One: But sir, they only print the facts!
Cyril: Facts? I'll give you facts! The life expectancy of a loudmouth pig is shortened every time it opens it's mouth! Understand?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: Nobody can make gold! It's impossible!
Bert: The impossible is what I specialise in!
Bert: The impossible is what I specialise in!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig Three: One, two, four, five, six...
Cedric: You missed three!
Pig Three: Oh, I did? (laughs nervously) I've always had problems with geometry!
Cedric: You missed three!
Pig Three: Oh, I did? (laughs nervously) I've always had problems with geometry!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Only one person's gonna get that contract and that's me!
Cedric: Says who, big shot?
Bert: Says me, hose nose!
Cedric: Says who, big shot?
Bert: Says me, hose nose!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Me without Cedric is like peanut butter without bananas, campfires without marshmallows...
Ralph: (To Schaeffer) Bert without a messy room!
Ralph: (To Schaeffer) Bert without a messy room!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: (Singing the "Sweet Smell of Success") You can smell him from a mile, he's a man of wealth and style, the type that always makes the "ten best dressed"! Should that odour fill your air, beware! You're smelling millionaire, it's the man who knows the sweet smell of success!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Schaeffer: We got a little help from that foghorn!
Bert: WHAT?! That was ME singing!
Ralph: Gee, I thought it sounded familiar!
Bert: WHAT?! That was ME singing!
Ralph: Gee, I thought it sounded familiar!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: This new cologne of mine is the greatest invention since the tax dodge!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: You'll be in demand all across the globe! In France... (Shows a projection of an amateurish cartoon of the band)
Pig Two: Nice picture Lloyd!
Pig One: Thank you! ...In India, in Egypt...
Pig Two: ...and in Cleveland!
Bert: Cleveland? Wow! This sounds terrific!
Pig Two: Nice picture Lloyd!
Pig One: Thank you! ...In India, in Egypt...
Pig Two: ...and in Cleveland!
Bert: Cleveland? Wow! This sounds terrific!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: If you come and work for Sneer Industries we'll make you all stars, plus you'll make a lot of money!
Pig Two: (murmurs) Huh, for the boss!
Pig Two: (murmurs) Huh, for the boss!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Melissa: Bert, isn't it a bit unusual to be up this early?
Ralph: Nonsense Melissa, every day Bert rises at the crack of noon!
Ralph: Nonsense Melissa, every day Bert rises at the crack of noon!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: (about the cologne, dazed) Now that's success!
Cyril: Cut! That's a take!
Cyril: Cut! That's a take!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: (belatedly) Oh boy... this is more dangerous than greased roller skates! Yeeuck!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: You furball! You're ruining the scene! Wait a minute... this is action! You're on a roll Raccoon! Go with it!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: That cologne could ruin a skunk's self confidence!
Bert: Wha... what do you mean? This stuff is great!
Ralph: Bert, that "stuff" could end the cockroach problem!
Bert: Wha... what do you mean? This stuff is great!
Ralph: Bert, that "stuff" could end the cockroach problem!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Hey! Where am I?
Schaeffer: That looks like you there Bert, behind that bottle
Bert: Boy, all of that work, and my best stuff doesn't even appear in the commercial! Huh! What a waste of my incredible acting ability!
Schaeffer: That looks like you there Bert, behind that bottle
Bert: Boy, all of that work, and my best stuff doesn't even appear in the commercial! Huh! What a waste of my incredible acting ability!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: No wonder my 'Sweet Smell of Success' isn't selling. My cologne's fine. But that raccoon's acting stinks!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Are you certain all safely precautions have been taken?
Pig One: Don't worry sir. This place is sealed up tighter than the leftovers in a tupperware.
Pig Two: Tighter even than your wallet!
Pig One: Don't worry sir. This place is sealed up tighter than the leftovers in a tupperware.
Pig Two: Tighter even than your wallet!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: Broo! Go fetch and Melissa and Ralph! Bring some ropes!
Bert: Ropes nothing! Bring the whole fire department, and hurry up!
Bert: Ropes nothing! Bring the whole fire department, and hurry up!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Fear? Fear? I'm afraid of nothing! Look at my hand (cuts to Cyril's hand, which is trembling) - steady as the economy!
TV Show: The Raccoons