Bones Quotes

Amelia: What, you think that because of your condition you have the right to boss people around? I'm sorry, but that is truly pathetic.
Rhyme: Truly?
Amelia: Damn right, truly.

TV Show: Bones
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Looking at Jude's experiment] Oh good Lord.
Professor Bunsen Jude: [Entering] I think I'm on to something.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa! You made a bazooka?
Professor Bunsen Jude: If you mean potatoe bazooka, then yes.

TV Show: Bones
Rhyme: Do you know who I am?
Amelia: I read your manual at the academy.
Rhyme: Yeah? What did you think of it?
Amelia: I'm not a book critic, sir.

TV Show: Bones
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [pulling up to the victim's home] Front door is open, you stay here.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, there's a *baby* involved. You hear gunfire, anything like that, drive away!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not leaving you!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes you will! Because this is about the *baby*, *not* me. Promise me!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pause; Bones looks at the baby then at Booth] I promise.

TV Show: Bones
T Bone: I'm serious, Weasel. You better ease up and lay off before I cloud up and rain all over you.
William 'Weasel' Weasler: I hear a lot of thunder, but I don't feel a drop.

TV Show: Bones
[Brennan calls Booth on his cell phone]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How far are you from Dulles?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: As far as your office is from Dulles.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you in my office?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I need your findings on the Richmond case. Listen, Zack won't tell me where they are unless you give him permission.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There's a 9: 15 flight to Denver, then there's an 11: 35 flight to Santa Fe. You have to run to make the connection.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Forget it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, please. Angela's boyfriend is missing... maybe dead. It took all of my charm...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All of your charm? Oh boy...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...just to get the sheriff to let me look at the skull. When I asked him to let me send the skull to the Jeffersonian, he told me I am not a cop and I don't have any jurisdiction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Which is true. Okay, look, what do you want me to do?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I want you to get Federal on his ass.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [smiles smugly and proudly] Oh!

TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Your fluidity makes it appear that you have no bones, and I am an expert on bones, so I find that very impressive.
Russell: Well, thank you. I take that as a great compliment while being intimidated by law enforcement.

TV Show: Bones
Clark: She was killed by a blunt force trauma to the occipital bone. The bone shards were jammed into her brain.
Cam: This was one angry, violent death.
Clark: Dr. Brennan would say it's impossible to know the assailant's state of mind, but I'm gonna go on record right now and say this was one psycho dude.

TV Show: Bones
Hannah: I don't want to mess anything up between you and your son.
Booth: Look, I love you, all right? He's gonna love you, too. And don't think of him as a kid. Just think of him as a short guy who … who's not allowed to drink.

TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Angela, nothing Pete and I ever did was messy.
Angela: Then you weren't doing it right

TV Show: Bones
Brennan: [looking at the screen] What exactly am I supposed to be squinting at?
Booth: It’s like pornography; you'll know it when you see it.

TV Show: Bones
Goodman: I do not view you as property, Dr. Brennan. You are one of the Jeffersonian's most valuable assets.
Zack: An asset is, by definition, property.
Goodman: What's the rule, Mr. Addy?
Zack: You only converse with PhDs. You do realize I'm halfway through two doctorates. Two halves make a whole, so mathematically speaking...
Goodman: Go polish a bone, Mr. Addy.

TV Show: Bones
Booth: What are you trying to do?
Brennan: Blackmail you.
Booth: Blackmail a federal agent?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: I don't like it.
Brennan: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.
Booth: Fine. You're in.

TV Show: Bones
Booth: What's it going to take?
Brennan: Full participation in the case.
Booth: Fine.
Brennan: Not just lab work. Everything.
Booth: What? You want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.

TV Show: Bones
Zach: Right away Dr. Brennan.
Booth: He’s got no sense of discretion. That kid. Typical squint.
Bones: I don’t know what that means.
Booth: Well when the cops get stuck we bring in people like you. You know, squints. You know to squint at things.
Bones: Oh you mean people with very high IQs and basic reasoning skills.
Booth: Yeah.

TV Show: Bones
Bones: Split the difference. Mixed race.
Angela: Lenny Kravitz or Vanessa Williams?
Bones: I don’t know what that means.

TV Show: Bones
Bones: I don’t know what that means, but I think maybe I can be a duck.
Booth: You’re not a duck, okay. On this one we stick to the book. Cops on the streets. Squints in the lab.
Bones: Well in that case, the Jeffersonian will be issuing a press release identifying the girl in the pond.

TV Show: Bones
Brennan: What if Booth is right? What if I'm only good with bones and lousy with people?
Angela: People like you.
Brennan: I don't care if men like me.
Angela: Okay, interesting jump from "people" to "men," but I'm sure it means nothing.
Brennan: I hate psychology. My most meaningful relationships are with dead people.

TV Show: Bones
Zack: If Smokey here had access to the president, why would he attack a café?
Brennan: "Smokey"?
Zack: It's how I deal with stress.
Hodgins: Targeting everyday places causes panic. People stay home, the economy is crippled. It's Terrorism 101, man.

TV Show: Bones
Booth: We're dealing with someone here who devalues an entire culture: terrorizing people by using God to justify mass murder.
Brennan: You're making it personal. That doesn't help.
Booth: It is personal, Bones. All of us die a little bit on one like this.

TV Show: Bones
Booth: Okay, what's so funny?
Brennan: I just never figured you being in a relationship.
Booth: Why? Do you think something's wrong with me?
Brennan: Not wrong. You just have alpha male attributes usually associated with a solitary existence.
Booth: What, me? You're solitary.
Brennan: No, no, I'm private.

TV Show: Bones
Angela: Please, she's been sleeping alone for months! She has enough pent-up sexual energy to power a small Midwestern city.

TV Show: Bones
Brennan: We'll find out who killed him, Booth. We've got Hamid's body. You can always count on the dead.

TV Show: Bones
Hodgins: I graduated top of my class, Rhodes scholar, the youngest member inducted into the Academy of Physical Sciences, but she still makes me feel like a cretin.
Zack: She apologized to me.

TV Show: Bones
Angela: Look, I... I know you needed help out there... at the crime scene. And I wanted to... but...
Brennan: It's okay. You see it. I don't anymore. I don't know what's worse.

TV Show: Bones
Hodgins: [after Angela tells them she talked to Booth's girlfriend.] She's spying for you?
Brennan: No. No!
Zack: If you have nothing in common, it's difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction.
Brennan: [glares at Zack] Okay, stop.
Angela: He is there for the taking, honey.
[Booth arrives]
Booth: Okay, I couldn't get his medical records.
[everyone stops and stares at Booth wordlessly]
Booth: What?
Brennan: [quickly] Nothing.

TV Show: Bones
Zack: She said "Take a hint." But when I asked "What hint?," Naomi said if she told me what hint, that it wouldn't be a hint any more, it would be a statement.

TV Show: Bones
Angela: God, Etruscan burial crypts are so boring.
Hodgins: Oh man, I know. I mean silt profiles?! know what we need.
Angela: A murder investigation

TV Show: Bones
Booth: Ah, you know, I'm glad we had that little chat about being nice to the locals.
Brennan: I don't like sheriffs. They are elected into office, which means their goal is being re-elected, not finding the truth.

TV Show: Bones
Booth: I don't... I don't like people who think they're better than other people.
Brennan: Some people are better than other people.
Booth: Uh, you know what you said right there, that is so un-American. All men are created equal; either you believe that or you don't.
Brennan: Some people are smarter than others; there's no use being offended by the fact. What are we going to tell Nestor's parents?
Booth: We tell them that their son was found dead. "We're looking into it. Sorry for your loss," and we are.
Brennan: What?
Booth: Sorry for their loss. It's sad. Try to remember that.
Brennan: Uh, I'm not a sociopath.
Booth: You're bad with people, okay. No use being offended by the fact.

TV Show: Bones