The Raccoons Quotes

Narrator: This is the Evergreen Forest. Quiet, peaceful, serene. That is, until Bert Raccoon wakes up!

Movie: The Raccoons
Bert: How do we know there's not down there?
Melissa: No smoke!
Bert: It could be a small fire...

TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Ehhhhh, he doesn't scare me!
Ralph: If you want to keep it that way, don't wake him up! Melissa, the stockings!
Bert: Oh ho! I wonder what he's got hiding under here...
Ralph: Bert! Let the sleeping dog lie!
Bert: Ehhhh, he can't lay a paw on me!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Oh no! my ears! I think they're broken! I can't get them to stop ringing!
Schaeffer: Mine too!
Bert: The beast talks!

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Cyril: Save yourself!

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Cedric: Pop, we should have stopped at our quota! I told you so!
Cyril: You ungrateful ingrate! Why do you think I slaved away to make money all these years?
Cedric: Greed?
Cyril: Greed? Never! I did it all for you! For you and you precious college education! I ask you, is it wrong for a father to want to give his son the good life? And after all, what are a few trees?
Ralph: "A few trees?!" A forest is more than "a few trees!"
Cyril: Who's counting?
Cedric: Actually Pop, the exact number you chopped down was...
Cyril: Shut up, you fool!

TV Show: The Raccoons
Sophia: Oh, clumsy me, did I hurt you?
Cedric: Oh no, I'm okay, are you?
Sophia: I'm fine. My name is Sophia Tutu.
Cedric: I'm C-c-c-c-c-c-Cedric Sneer.
Sophia: Well, Cedric, I surpose I should get back to my swan glides.
Cedric: S-s-s-s-s-s-swan glides?
(musical interlude: "To Have You")
Cedric: Sophia, can I buy you a cup of hot choc, em, lot choclate, err....
Sophia: Hot chocolate? I'd love one!

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Cyril: Cedric! Were you skating with these creatures?
Bert: Cedric has joined our team! Heh, heh, heh! Now, we can beat you!
Cyril: Cedric! Tell me it's not true!

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Sophia: I don't think I like Cedric's father!
Bert: Hey, were the good guys, remember? So, we're supposed to win....right?

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Bert: Pass the puck!
Sophia: Hi, Schaeffer!
(Bert scores a goal while Schaeffer is distracted!)
Bert: Did you see that?! What a shot! Hahahahaha! I'm terrific! I'm a superstar! Phew! I'm worn out by my own brilliance!

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Sophia: Mr. Sneer, you should be proud of Cedric! Why he's strong, talented, good looking...
Cyril: Who is this...thing?
Cedric: Pop, this is Sophia Tutu.
Cyril: Look here, Sofa-girl...
Cedric: Sophia, Pop!
Cyril: Sofa, couch, davenport, no matter! Stay away from my son!

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Cedric: (talking in his sleep) Sophia...Sophia...
Sophia: Isn't he handsome? Like a sleeping prince...
Cedric: Sophia? (wakes up) Sophia! What are you doing here?
Sophia: We had to talk to you!
Cedric: But if Pop finds you, he'll be crazed! He might even use the dungeon! He always wanted to, but no one ever comes here! You've got to go!
Sophia: We will, but first, tell us you'll play in the game tomorrow night!
Bert: We could win with you!
Cedric: But Pop wouldn't like it! Why, I've already been grounded for a month...and no chocolate pudding!
Sophia: Cedric, this is bigger than chocolate pudding!

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Sophia: Cedric Sneer, your heart is as cold and hard as a hockey puck!

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Cyril: You dumb jocks! You wouldn't even frighten Goldilocks!

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Bert: Bingo! What a catch! Hey, we snatched three of the animal snatchers!
Schaeffer: Let us out of here!
Bert: Oh, so you can capture more animals? No way, Shaggy!

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Pig General: Give me the reconnaisance dotta!
Pig Two and Pig Three: The dotta, the dotta! OINK!

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Sophia: Hello! Who are you?
Schaeffer: Schaeffer! Don't you know me?
Sophia: How could I? We just met!

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Bert: I'm not scared of Cyril Sneer!
Melissa: He could have laser guns! Booby traps! Couldn't we all just agree to be cautious?
Bert: Yeah, sure, sure.....

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Cyril: Why, those meddlesome raccoons! I should have known! Who are those two?
Cedric: Why would I know, Pop?
Cyril: Because when I came In here you cried out, "Sophia"....AH HA! That's it! Your girl!
Cedric: She must have been forced against her will!
Cyril: Not very likely!

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Cyril: Well well well, we meet at last! Sophia isn't it?
Sophia: Cedric! How could you?
Cedric: But Sophia...I, I, I didn't know...honest!
Sophia: Here! I'll never be able to look at a chocolate again!
Cyril: I'll take those!

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Cyril: Stop that plane! Dismantle it! I want those Raccoons! The dogs! I want revenge! Do you hear me?? I'm giving orders! I'm your Imperial Commander! Obey me!

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Bert: Okay, gang! Let's dance!

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Bert: This one is a special dedication for Cedric and Sophia!
Broo: Woof!
Bert: Oh, and Broo of course! Lights!

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Cyril: What in blazes is all that racket? Snag, we'll put a stop to this!

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Bert: This one I'm sure you'll remember, Schaeffer!

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Cyril: All I've got is my money, this mansion, and my good looks! What would a bunch of dumb raccoons want with that? Heh, heh.....absolutely everything!

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Cyril: It’s time to call out my secret service.
Cedric: What secret service?
Cyril: It’s so secret, I haven’t told anyone!

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Cyril: Attention! Now hear this. You are the hand picked elite. The finest secret service ever created. So secret you don't even know who each other are. Now, here's your mission.

TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: These my secretive stoolpigeons are the conspirators. Study them. But don't be fooled. They are not as dumb as they look. Note the masks on their eyes. A sure sign of a thief. A robber. Or maybe even a filthy agitator! Note this one (points to a projection of Schaeffer) - No eyes. Extremely dangerous. Has a keen sense of smell - so take a bath!

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Cyril: Don't you dare Snag! I've just had that tree dry cleaned!

TV Show: The Raccoons