Glee Quotes

Kurt: Sometimes I don't feel like we're The Warblers. I feel like we're Blaine and the Pips.

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Santana: The only straight I am is a straight up bitch.

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Rachel: It's less Hebraic and more Fabray-ic.

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Tina: Your self hatred Rachel, has helped me see the light.

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Rachel: [finishes singing] It's called "Only Child".
Finn: Yeah, I got that. Uh...it's better than "My Headband". That's for sure. But it...feels like you're playing scared. You're only dealing with easy pain. You gotta get to the hard stuff. That's what's relatable to everybody.
Rachel: I'm perfectly capable to accessing my pain. I cry every time I sing a solo.
Finn: Exactly. When you sing, I can feel it. I guess you got to go inside yourself to wherever the singing comes from, and write from there.
Rachel: [sits next to Finn] Have you even ever tried to write a song?
Quinn: [voiceover while watching Rachel and Finn] Sometimes I worry about Finn. I mean, how damaged does a guy have to be, to be into some as annoying as Rachel? Still, he is a good guy and I do really like him. And he's my first love and first loves are forever. And another thing, without him I'm never going to get one of these. I know what you're thinking. "Prom queen? You're smart and super pretty and relatively sane for a girl. Does being prom queen really matter to you?" Well, it does. Prom queens live, on average, five years longer than regular people. It's probably because they smile all the time. And smiling has been proven to ward off diseases. But I can't do it without Finn. He's a shoo-in for prom king, and after winning the big game, he'll help me land crucial swing votes. Amazingly, the only person standing in my way is her and her damn talent. If I'm going to guarantee he doesn't stray with her, I'm going to have to play it right. They say keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Well, Rachel Berry, you just got yourself a new best friend.

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Blaine: Warblers. Warblers. I'm merely suggesting that instead of wearing blue ties with red piping, we wear jackets with red ties and blue piping for the competition!

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Sue: You took away my Cheerios. Continue this the opening salvo of World War Sue.

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Mercedes: So what are we going to do now?
Rachel: I think we should write original songs for Regionals.
Santana: All those in favor of voting Rachel down a second time?

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Quinn: No I think Rachel's right.

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Brittany: Hey.
Santana: [looks at Brittany then back to her locker]
Brittany: Can I ask you a question? We use to be really close and I really miss being your friend.
Santana: Still waiting for the question.
Brittany: Did I do something wrong?
Santana: No. Look, I don't know. Did you? All I know is you blew me off to be with Stubbles McCripplePants. That's fine. It's your loss. 'Cause now I get the chance to write an awesome heterosexual song about Sam that we're going to sing at Regionals.
Brittany: Wait, you're still dating Sam? But you told me you were in love with me.
Santana: I honestly don't know what I was thinking. Could you stop staring at me? I can't remember my locker combo.
Sue: Well well. If it isn't Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Fake Boobs.
Brittany: You know you can't talk to us like that. You're not our cheer coach anymore.
Sue: I'm not anybody's cheerleading coach anymore.

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Santana: This is a song I wrote for Sam. It's called "Trouty Mouth".
Sam: [frowns] Wait, what's it called?
Mike: Trouty Mouth.

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Sam: [stops Santana from singing] Okay, could we stop? Stop with the mouth jokes.
Santana: Sit down. I'm not finished.
Sam: Yes you are! Mr. Schue, we are not doing a song at Regionals called Trouty Mouth.

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Puck: It's called "Big Ass...Heart".

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Quinn: Even if we win that or even Nationals that isn't gonna put us back where we belong.
Finn: Which is where?
Quinn: On top!
Finn: On top of what?

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Quinn: Do you want to be in this relationship or not?
Finn: Whoa, scary Quinn. Okay, uh...after Regionals.
Quinn: [smiles] After Regionals.

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Mercedes: But my butt, Mr. Schue. That song was amazing.

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Mercedes: Well she literally throws sticks at me.

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Mercedes: [at her locker when sticks start getting thrown at her] What are you doing?
Sue: [throwing sticks] Throwing sticks at your head. I'm going to crush you at Regionals.

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Rachel: He chose me over you.
Quinn: And how long did that last for?
Rachel: Why are you being so mean?
Quinn: Do you want to know how the story plays out? I get Finn, you get heartbroken, and then Finn and I stay here and start a family. I'll become a successful real estate agent and Finn will take over Kurt's dad's tire shop. [voice starts breaking] You don't belong here, Rachel. And you can't hate me for helping to send you on your way.
Rachel: I'm not giving up on Finn. It's not over between us.
Quinn: YES IT IS! You're so frustrating! And that is why you can't write a good song, because you live in this little school girl fantasy of life. Rachel, if you keep looking for that happy ending, you are never going to get it right.

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Kurt: Has anyone literally died on stage?
Blaine: [looks over] Are you nervous?
Kurt: Please don't judge me. This is the first time I've had a solo in front of a competition audience. I have this nightmare that I'm going to forget the lyrics or I'm going to sing and nothing is gonna come out. [looks over at Blaine] Okay, you can judge me.
Blaine: I think it's adorable. I think you're adorable. And- and the only people who're going to dying tonight are the people in that audience because you and I are going to kill this thing. Come on, let's go.

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Finn: Hey, break a leg.
Rachel: Last time we were here you told me you loved me.
Finn: I really like your song.
Rachel: Listen carefully because, I mean every word of it.

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Kurt: Why did you pick me to sing that song with?
Blaine: : [nervously] Kurt, there’s a moment you say, "Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever." [places hand on Kurt's] Watching you do Blackbird this week, that was that moment for me... About you. [pause] You move me Kurt. And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you. [leans in and kisses Kurt, then sheepishly] We should... We should practice.
Kurt: [smiles] I thought we were. [kiss again]

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Kurt: Yeah, I just really, really wanted to win.
Blaine: : You did win. So did I. We got each other out of all this. That beats a lousy trophy, don't you think?

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Brittany: I love saltwater.

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Santana: Wait, do you honestly think that we can sell twenty thousand pieces of anythings? I mean we won Regionals for the first time since dinosaurs ruling the planet and I still got a freakin' cherry icy facial.

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Sam: Why didn't you tell us?
Mike, Tina, Artie and Brittany: We did.

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Sandy: You're hunky and I'm what they call predatory gay.

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Sue: How do you manage to enter a building without setting off all of the fire alarms?

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Rachel: [to Sunshine] You're a terrible spy.
Artie: Seriously, with your size, you could easily sit in the air ducts for days.
Sunshine: I'm not a spy. I heard about your benefit concert on Facebook and I wanted to preform. I know what it feels like to be an academic decathlon. No one pays attention to you. No one cares. It's not right. We studied so hard.
Quinn: Yeah but you're with Vocal Adrenaline. How do we know we can trust you?
Sunshine: Because I have nothing against all of you. I have 600 Twitter followers. I can get them all to come.
Finn: How many tickets have we sold so far?
Puck: Four. No one's interested. It's sad.
Sunshine: Please, just let me show you what I can do. I would like to sing the perfect song of neglect, All By Myself. I'm such a better singer than everyone else so I know how it feels. I'm all alone at the top. Also, I'm really short, so even when I'm in a group of people I feel like I'm wandering alone in a forest.
Rachel: There's no way she's singing in our auditorium, okay? She's the enemy.
Puck: I say we give her chance. I mean, you owe her Rachel. You sent her to a freakin' crackhouse.
Rachel: [sighs exasperatedly]

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Lauren: You're always singing about R.E.S.P.E.C.T. but respect isn't something you can ask for, you have to demand it.

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