Glee Quotes

Rachel: [burps] It tastes like pink. It tastes like pink! PINK!
Kurt: [dancing and talking to Finn] Are you not drinking?
Finn: No. Designated driver. What about you?
Kurt: I'm still trying to impress Blaine. Can't get too sloppy. [looks at Blaine]
Blaine: [dancing crazily]
Kurt: Clearly he doesn't have the same concern.
Blaine: Hey, it is so cool that you and Kurt are brothers...Like brothers. Wow. You're so tall.
Kurt: Are you having fun, Blaine?
Blaine: Yeah. This is the best party ever!
Rachel: Finny, dance with me. [dances with Finn] We had it going on, right? I wasn't making it up or anything? I'd do anything for you. Anything.
Finn: [lets go of Rachel] Okay Rachel, since this is your first time at this, I'm going to break it down for you. [sits down with Rachel]
Rachel: Okay.
Finn: Guys and girls fall into certain archetypes when they get drunk. Exhibit A: Santana, the weepy, hysterical drunk.
Santana: [crying] You like her more than me! She's blond and awesome and so smart. Admit it! Just admit it!
Sam: [confused]
Santana: No kiss me! [kisses Sam]
Finn: Lauren Zizes and Quinn, the anger girl drunks.
Quinn: I can't believe what you did to my body! I used to have abs!
Puck: Back off!
Lauren: Who told you that hairstyle was cool? Geronimo?
Puck: Chill out!
Finn: Brittany, the girl who also turns into a stripper drunk.
Brittany: [dancing]
Artie: [throwing money into the air] Makin' it rain! [laughing] That's my girlfriend. I love you babe.
Finn: Mercedes and Tina, happy girl drunks.
Mercedes and T

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Who wants to play spin the bottle?! [to Finn] Spin the bottle.

TV Show: Glee
Santana: You know what? A reminder. I owns that guppy mouth. Those shoddy Aerosmith lips belong to me, so.
Sam: [kisses Brittany]

TV Show: Glee
Santana: You know what? This is not...hey honeys, this is not a Big Red commercial, all right? No me gusta.
Rachel: Whoo! Party! My turn. My turn. [spins the bottle and it lands on Blaine]

TV Show: Glee
Kurt: This is outstanding!
Rachel: Blaine Warbler, I am going to rock your world. [kisses Blaine for a long time]
Kurt: Okay, I think we've seen enough.
Rachel: [stops kissing Blaine] Your face...tastes awesome. I think I just found a new duet partner!

TV Show: Glee
Blaine and Rachel: [singing] Don't you want me baby?
Santana: I want you! I do!

TV Show: Glee
Tina: [wearing sunglasses and looks exhausted] I need to close my locker and it's going to sound like a gunshot. [closes her locker gently]
Mercedes: [starts walking with Tina and also wearing sunglasses and looks exhausted] I've had the worst hangover since Saturday and it's Monday.
Santana: [joins them and also wearing sunglasses and looks exhausted] I've been dry heaving all weekend. When my mother asked what the sound was I told her I was practicing bird calls.
Mike: [joins them and also wearing sunglasses and looks exhausted] You guys, I can't stop barfing.
Tina: Please don't say barf.
Santana: I caught a whiff of hairspray and went full Linda Blair in the girl's bathroom.
Mike: I told my mom I had the flu and she made me a traditional tea made out of panda hair.
Tina: Can we talk about anything else?

TV Show: Glee
Artie: I brought some Bloody Marys, y'all.
Mercedes: Are you kidding? The last thing I want to do is drink.
Artie: It will help with your hangover. That's what Bloody Marys are for. Hair of the dog that done bit your ass.

TV Show: Glee
Quinn: You're such a hypocrite. You drink. Most adults do.

TV Show: Glee
Will: [voicemail to Emma] I rode a bull and was thinking of you.

TV Show: Glee
Santana: Why don't you down a 4 Loco, Count Boozy Von Drunk a Ton?

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Being thrown up on, it just does something to a person.

TV Show: Glee
Will': I used to drink a lot when I was their age, mostly to deal with Terri.

TV Show: Glee
Beiste: You ain't lived until you seen me in a cowboy hat!

TV Show: Glee
Kurt: Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel normal.

TV Show: Glee
Blaine: I'd say "bye," but I wouldn't wanna make you angry.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: The date was lovely. We saw Love Story at the Revival Theatre - we even dressed up as the characters.
Kurt: [says sarcastically] That's not gay at all.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Blaine and I have a lot in common.
Kurt: A sentiment expressed by many a hag by many dating a gay.

TV Show: Glee
Kurt: I don't doubt that you and Blaine would have a JOLLY good time, shopping at Burberry's and arguing who would make the best Rum-Tum-Tugger. But there's something you and Blaine will never have, and that's chemistry.

TV Show: Glee
Kurt: Blaine is the first of a long line of conflicted men that you will date, that will later turn out to be only the most flaming of homosexuals.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: It's kinda like nursing a POW back to health so he's at his strongest when you torture him.

TV Show: Glee
Brittany: [looking at the audience] You guys, I'm really nervous. Ke$ha has been a culture icon for weeks and I really wanna do her music justice.
Sam: We haven't had enough rehearsal.
Mercedes: Or any at all.
Finn: And most of our assembly performances usually end in some kind of riot.
Rachel: Never fear, teammates. [hands plastic cups to everyone] Now it's a Broadway tradition for performers to take a shot of whiskey to calm their nerves and to mask the sense of bad dental hygene.

TV Show: Glee
Will: Isn't drinking under 21 illegal?
Figgins: The alcohol companies have been marketing alcoholic drinks to teenagers. In fact, just listen to any song by Key-dollar-sign-ha...
Will: You mean Ke$ha?

TV Show: Glee
Figgins: And now, performing the hit song Tik and also Tok, by rapper Key-dollar-sign-ha, New Directions.

TV Show: Glee
Brittany: [throws up on Rachel]
[The audience stares in shock and silence.]
Brittany: Oh my God.
Rachel: [disgusted and leaves the stage]
Santana: [throws up also and coughs]
Brittany: Everybody drink responsibly.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: My nose is still filled with the acrid stench of teen vomit.

TV Show: Glee
Quinn: There's a fair amount of the pot calling the kettle black now.
Brittany: That's so racist.

TV Show: Glee
Finn: What about after we win Nationals?
Mr. Schuester: I'll buy the sparkling cider.

TV Show: Glee
Burt: I don't know what two guys do when they're together. You know, I sat through the whole of Brokeback Mountain. From what I gather, something went down in that tent.

TV Show: Glee
Emma: Celibacy, ladies. Dig it!

TV Show: Glee