3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
Dick Solomon: I want ceaseless joy and never-ending passion like Romeo and Juliet.
Mary Albright: They both wound up dead.
Dick Solomon: Antony and Cleopatra.
Mary Albright: Dead.
Dick Solomon: That couple from Wuthering Heights.
Mary Albright: Insane and dead.
Dick Solomon: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
Mary Albright: Drunk, insane, and dead.
Dick Solomon: Tristan and Isolde.
Mary Albright: Abgeschossen.
Dick Solomon: Aha, Siegfried and Roy.
Mary Albright: Okay, one.
Mary Albright: They both wound up dead.
Dick Solomon: Antony and Cleopatra.
Mary Albright: Dead.
Dick Solomon: That couple from Wuthering Heights.
Mary Albright: Insane and dead.
Dick Solomon: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
Mary Albright: Drunk, insane, and dead.
Dick Solomon: Tristan and Isolde.
Mary Albright: Abgeschossen.
Dick Solomon: Aha, Siegfried and Roy.
Mary Albright: Okay, one.
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Dick Solomon: Mary, there's something I have to tell you. I come from another world.
Mary Albright: And that's news?
Mary Albright: And that's news?
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Mamie Dubcek: I used to be a cheerleader but they threw me off the team because I forgot to wear underwear... occasionally. [Don, Judith and Rico drink deeply from their beers]
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Mary Albright: I think you look distinguished with gray hair.
Dick Solomon: Thank you. I think you would look distinguished with gray hair, too.
Mary Albright: No. When men get gray hair, they look distinguished. When women get gray hair, they look old.
Dick Solomon: When women get breasts, they look sexy. When men get breasts, they look old.
Mary Albright: Good point!
Dick Solomon: Thank you. I think you would look distinguished with gray hair, too.
Mary Albright: No. When men get gray hair, they look distinguished. When women get gray hair, they look old.
Dick Solomon: When women get breasts, they look sexy. When men get breasts, they look old.
Mary Albright: Good point!
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[Dick is whining about is job]
Harry Solomon: You know, Dick, when life gives you lemon, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.
Harry Solomon: You know, Dick, when life gives you lemon, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.
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Dick: Can anyone get their head to swivel to the rear? (no) Then how are you suppose to lick your back!?
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Dick: Sally, I want you to observe her, find out what women on this planet do.
Sally: Why can't Harry do it?
Dick: Because you're the woman.
Sally: That brings up a very good question: why am I the woman?
Dick: Because you lost.
Sally: Why can't Harry do it?
Dick: Because you're the woman.
Sally: That brings up a very good question: why am I the woman?
Dick: Because you lost.
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Dick: Oh good you're here. Did you copy the mainframe from the library?
Tommy: Uh, I got a little distracted.
Dick: Again? What happened?
Tommy: Well, I was watching these women play volleyball. And they were all jumping. Up. And down. Up. And down. With these little shorts, and some of them can't jump as high as the others, but it's okay. I mean, it's more than okay, it's really okay. I mean--
Dick: What is wrong with you?!
Tommy: I don't know.
Dick: We can't leave without that information, so access the net, download, and go straight home as soon as you're finished.
Tommy: Why are you talking to me like I'm a child?
Dick: You are a child.
Tommy: I'm older than you.
Dick: Well, now I'm bigger. And on this planet size matters.
Tommy: Uh, I got a little distracted.
Dick: Again? What happened?
Tommy: Well, I was watching these women play volleyball. And they were all jumping. Up. And down. Up. And down. With these little shorts, and some of them can't jump as high as the others, but it's okay. I mean, it's more than okay, it's really okay. I mean--
Dick: What is wrong with you?!
Tommy: I don't know.
Dick: We can't leave without that information, so access the net, download, and go straight home as soon as you're finished.
Tommy: Why are you talking to me like I'm a child?
Dick: You are a child.
Tommy: I'm older than you.
Dick: Well, now I'm bigger. And on this planet size matters.
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Sally: Dick, women are trouble. I should know! I've been one for two weeks!
Dick: I know, which brings up another point. I command you to shave under your arms.
Sally: Doable. I'm sorry you find me so offensive (tears up)
Dick: Dammit! Pull yourself together, man! We're going out.
Sally: Ok, give me an hour.
Dick: An hour?
Sally: I got to rotate these (indicating breasts). It's a party!
Dick: I know, which brings up another point. I command you to shave under your arms.
Sally: Doable. I'm sorry you find me so offensive (tears up)
Dick: Dammit! Pull yourself together, man! We're going out.
Sally: Ok, give me an hour.
Dick: An hour?
Sally: I got to rotate these (indicating breasts). It's a party!
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Dick: I want very much to feel, and to be felt. And I mean that from the heart of my bottom.
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Dick: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. (flips to the back of the book) I'm not going to read 380 pages if he can't even make up his mind in the first sentence!
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Tommy: Sally, you're amazing. As sick as you are, you keep taking care of us.
Sally: Yeah, I know. I don't understand. All I want to do is curl up into a ball, and yet somehow I feel compelled to nurture you. God, what a cruel disease!
Sally: Yeah, I know. I don't understand. All I want to do is curl up into a ball, and yet somehow I feel compelled to nurture you. God, what a cruel disease!
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Minister: We are gathered here, before God....
Dick: Now, which one of those guys is God?
Mary: Will you be quiet?
Dick: Okay, but be sure to introduce me later, because I want some answers.
Dick: Now, which one of those guys is God?
Mary: Will you be quiet?
Dick: Okay, but be sure to introduce me later, because I want some answers.
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Dick: Mary, there's something I have to tell you. I come from another world.
Mary: And this is news?
Mary: And this is news?
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Dick: You know, you have to admire these humans. Their lives are so fragile, and yet they are willing to commit to each other for a lifetime.
Sally: Or an afternoon with some petri dish in a miniskirt.
Tommy: Hey, hey! At least I'm getting some here, alright?
Sally: Or an afternoon with some petri dish in a miniskirt.
Tommy: Hey, hey! At least I'm getting some here, alright?
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Dick: Dr. Albright, have I been a perfect ass?
Mary: Aw, nobody's perfect.
Mary: Aw, nobody's perfect.
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Sally: You just can't imagine what it feels like, Dick. It's like he reached in... and pulled all the bones out of my body... [starts crying]
Dick: My God, what are you doing?
Sally: [wipes her tears] Apparently I'm leaking!
Dick: Well, stop!
Dick: My God, what are you doing?
Sally: [wipes her tears] Apparently I'm leaking!
Dick: Well, stop!
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Tommy: [pointing to the stars] I've been there and there and there and there...
Harry: Wow. The long, boring stories you must have.
Harry: Wow. The long, boring stories you must have.
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Dick: We suck, we blow -- a posse of oral fixators. Let them try and ban smoking, for if they do!.. They'll just have a bunch of SMOKING OUTLAWS on their hands!
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Harry: By the second day I could hear my inner voice, too.
Tommy: What was it saying?
Harry: I have no idea, I don't speak French.
Tommy: What was it saying?
Harry: I have no idea, I don't speak French.
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[Sally walks into the men's locker room]
Man: Hey, it says "men" on the door!
Sally: And you made the cut?
Man: Hey, it says "men" on the door!
Sally: And you made the cut?
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Dick: [to Jeff] You think you're pretty clever, don't you? I happen to know that every word in your book was published years ago! Perhaps you've read...the dictionary!
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[Tommy and August meet for the first time]
August: I'm August. Don't call me "Augy".
Tommy: I'm Tommy. Don't call me "Augy" either...
August: I'm August. Don't call me "Augy".
Tommy: I'm Tommy. Don't call me "Augy" either...
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Dick: I'm sure you can defeat a simple door lock.
[Tommy breaks through the window with his hand and unlocks the door]
Dick: What are you doing?! Now this is breaking and entering! It's illegal!
Tommy: What'd you expect me to do? Beam you in?
[Tommy breaks through the window with his hand and unlocks the door]
Dick: What are you doing?! Now this is breaking and entering! It's illegal!
Tommy: What'd you expect me to do? Beam you in?
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Sally: How would you like your eyes in the bottom of a martini glass, 'cause I can do it?
Dr. Hamlin: [sounding delighted] Oh, the Amazon is going to manhandle me!
Dr. Hamlin: [sounding delighted] Oh, the Amazon is going to manhandle me!
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Harry: Oh, Dick, we've got cable! Seventy-two channels! And unlike primitive free television this one you get to pay for.
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Dick: How can we honor the memory of a man like Leonard Hanlin? well......he was governed by the laws of physics as are all living things. it is a scientific fact that hearts and clocks slow down as they approach the speed of light, the point at which matter is converted into energy. Dr. Hanlin's heart approached that speed on friday evening at 7: 57 according to the coroner, converting his matter into energy, into pure white light. Though he is no longer with us, he is all around us.
Mary: That was absolutely beautiful.
Tommy: Converting matter to energy?
Sally: Could you have been more trite?
Harry: Why didn't you just phone it in?
Mary: That was absolutely beautiful.
Tommy: Converting matter to energy?
Sally: Could you have been more trite?
Harry: Why didn't you just phone it in?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun