Charmed Quotes

Piper: Wait a sec. Last week we had no Dad and now we have two?

TV Show: Charmed
Marshall: I don't know what kind of people you're used to dealing with, but I'd lay serious coin that they aren't willing to rip you into a thousand pieces and dance in your entrails.
Victor: Oh, so you're lawyers.

TV Show: Charmed
Victor: Always in a hurry, Prue. You skipped crawling and went straight to walking.
Prue: Oh, we’re sharing memories. Well, I’ve got one of my own – your back walking out the door.

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: Okay, we have to call the cops and report it as a break-in.
Prue: And tell them what? That someone broke into our house to try and steal our broomsticks?

TV Show: Charmed
Fritz: So, Prue, I hear your friend’s a cop.
Prue: Inspector, actually.
Fritz: Oh, yeah. (to Andy) Well, I got these parking tickets...
Andy: Yeah, my focus is mainly homicide, robbery.
Fritz: Yeah. Yeah. So I have these parking tickets...

TV Show: Charmed
Phoebe: Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we throw a party and charge admission. It’s a great way to make extra cash.
Prue: Hey, I have an even better idea. Why don’t you just get a job?

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: Hey look. It’s dad's ring. What's it doing here?
Phoebe: It must have slipped off when he, uh... fell. (referring to when Prue telekinetically hurled him onto the wall)

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: Why? I mean after all this time? Why here? Why now?
Victor: Well, I heard the food here is pretty good, and it is dinner time.

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: Leave it to me to fall for a dead guy.
Phoebe: It's an improvement. At least he wasn't a warlock.

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: Well, I can talk about food all night long.
Mark: Yeah? Well, I can talk about it forever.

TV Show: Charmed
Mark: Yama!
Piper: Yama? Run.
Mark: It's too late, you better go. Run! (Piper freezes Yama) What happened?
Piper: I'm a good witch, remember?
Mark: But how?
Piper: I don't know. I panic, I put up both hands and bad things tend to freeze.
Mark: For how long?
Piper: Not very, let's go.

TV Show: Charmed
Phoebe: We’re The Charmed Ones, Prue, not The Doomed Ones.

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: I snuck the photograph into Andy’s interoffice mail.
Mark: My afterlife’s in the hands of a cop named Andy.

TV Show: Charmed
Prue: Phoebe, you have to save him. You can’t let him out of your sight.
Phoebe: Oh, don’t worry. I waited until he went to sleep, and then I broke a key off in his door to lock him in. He’s safe ‘til morning. (silence) Hey, wait. That’s it? You’re not going to get mad at me?
Prue: You were trying to do something good… and now you’re going to get to do something… wonderful. I couldn’t ask for a better birthday present than that.

TV Show: Charmed
Phoebe: I am so busted, aren’t I?
Piper: Are you out of your mind again?
Phoebe: No. I’m the Amazing Phoebe.
Piper: This is not funny. Our powers are supposed to be a secret, not a marketable job skill.

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: I've never seen anybody killed before.
Phoebe: Jeremy.
Prue: Javna.
Piper: I mean humans.

TV Show: Charmed
Phoebe: Don't worry. We had safe sex. A lot of safe sex.

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: (after trying to copy an exercise video) Uh, I give up. Two weeks and nothing strengthened but my temper.
Prue: Piper, here's the problem. You didn't read the fine print. See, it says right here. $19.95 for the video and twenty grand for the plastic surgeon.

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: So, what’s up?
Phoebe: I, uh, I found this spell. "How to attract a lover".
Piper: No, Phoebe. Forget it. We’re not casting any spells.
Phoebe: Come on. There must be more to our powers than warlock wasting. I’m ready to have some fun with our magic.
Piper: No. No personal gain, remember?
Phoebe: How is it personal gain, if we’re using our powers to bring happiness to another person. And in my case lots and lots of happiness...

TV Show: Charmed
Phoebe: I'm telling you, there's no Dream Sorcerer stuff anywhere.
Piper: That's impossible. The Book of Shadows has never let us down.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he's not a demon. Maybe he's a mortal.
Piper: Then he's got one hell of a power.
Phoebe: You're not kidding.

TV Show: Charmed
Prue: Piper? Phoebe?
Piper: Prue. You're home. I thought you had a date with Andy.
Prue: Uh, no. He had to cancel. What are you doing?
Piper: Hmm...
Phoebe: Piper, I was wrong. The spell calls for cayenne pepper not black pepper. (She walks in the kitchen and sees Prue) Ooh. Did I say spell? I ... I meant recipe. We are so busted, aren't we?
Prue: I would say yes.

TV Show: Charmed
First Guy: Are your parents terrorists? Cause, baby, you're the bomb.
Second Guy: Jim, Jim, ask her if it hurt when she fell.
Phoebe: Uh, excuse me?
Guy: When you fell from Heaven. Did it hurt? Cause I know an angel when I see one.
Phoebe: I'm no angel. I'm a witch. But don't tell my sisters I told you.

TV Show: Charmed
Prue: My sisters and I, we have special gifts.
Allison Michaels: Gifts? What kind of gifts?
Prue: Ones you can't return. Let's just say we come from an interesting kind of family tree.

TV Show: Charmed
Rex Buckland: Prue, your, um, sister's here to see you. She's waiting in your office.
Prue: Which sister?
Rex Buckland: The one who upon seeing your office, said "Damn, I should go back to college."
Prue: Phoebe.

TV Show: Charmed
Phoebe: Ok, I can't hold it any longer. Your name isn't Piper, and that's the good news. You're really Hecate, Queen of the Underworld, you're pregnant with a demon child, which means...I'm afraid I have to kill you.
Piper: What?!

TV Show: Charmed
Prue: Phoebe, what is it that you saw exactly?
Phoebe: Well, I-I saw the thing being born.
Prue: Did you see Piper?
Phoebe: Yes, I saw her legs.
Prue: Never saw her face?
Phoebe: No.
Piper: Hello, bickering sisters. I'm not pregnant but I am in the room.

TV Show: Charmed
Phoebe: Okay, Piper tell me the truth. Am I a boyfriend thief?
Piper: Totally.
Phoebe: Besides Roger. Whom, by the way, Prue, I never touched.
Piper: My boyfriend, Billy Wilson.
Phoebe: [chuckles] Bill-- Wil-- Eighth grade Billy Wilson?
Piper: You kissed him at homecoming.
Phoebe: I did not kiss him at homecoming.
Piper: Oh, please. You were all over him, with your breasts all...whatever.
Phoebe: I didn't even have breasts back then.
Piper: Phoebe, you've always had breasts.

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: So you know... it's not like either one of us has a problem finding guys...
Phoebe: Please.
Piper: So if one of us got Leo, it'd be ok with the other one.
Phoebe: Absolutely.
Piper: So we can just consider this a friendly competition.
Phoebe: Sibling rivalry.
Piper: War.
Phoebe: Exactly!

TV Show: Charmed
Piper: Hungry?
Leo: Uh.
Piper: Oh, it's on the house.
Leo: You're big on food, aren’t you?
Piper: Uh...
Leo: No, that's good. You know, actually, in the Mayan culture the cook was second in the hierarchy only to the medicine man.
Piper: Mayans? You know about Mayans? Well, you certainly are a handyman, aren't you?
Leo: Uh, so, does Phoebe work here too?
Piper: Phoebe? Work? No, no, no, she's probably at her gay and lesbian group right about now. So what'll it be?

TV Show: Charmed
Phoebe(to Leo about Piper): Oh, that's just Piper. She's got to be everyone's mom. Think of her as your mom, I know I do.

TV Show: Charmed