Dharma and Greg Quotes
Dharma: One time when I was babysitting your monkey, I took him to a fancy party without telling you.
Jane Deaux: Is that where he started smoking again?
Dharma: MmmHmm...
Jane Deaux: Do you know how hard it is to get a nicotine patch to stick to a monkey?
Jane Deaux: Is that where he started smoking again?
Dharma: MmmHmm...
Jane Deaux: Do you know how hard it is to get a nicotine patch to stick to a monkey?
Movie: Dharma and Greg
Dharma: ...but that doesn't change the fact that we have no money.
Marci: Maybe not, but we've got love.
Dharma: Well, I could try to pay the phone bill with love, but I think it's a felony.
Marci: Actually, prostitution is only a misdemeanor.
Dharma: Great, that takes care of the phone bill!
Marci: Maybe not, but we've got love.
Dharma: Well, I could try to pay the phone bill with love, but I think it's a felony.
Marci: Actually, prostitution is only a misdemeanor.
Dharma: Great, that takes care of the phone bill!
Movie: Dharma and Greg
Dharma: Honey, are you OK?
Greg: I'm fine. I'm just lying here trying to decide whether your father is a hole surrounded by ass.
Greg: I'm fine. I'm just lying here trying to decide whether your father is a hole surrounded by ass.
Movie: Dharma and Greg
Jane Cavanaugh: [hearing Greg and Larry screaming about a bear in the background] What was that?
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: I dunno. It sounded like [pause]
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: a couple of Girl Scouts crying!
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: I dunno. It sounded like [pause]
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: a couple of Girl Scouts crying!
Movie: Dharma and Greg
[Dharma and Jane are playing German toruists while shopping, Lindsay is busy/annoyed, Jennifer is laid back/bemused/wt... /but getting it slowly]
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Costen poopen sweater?
Jennifer: They want to know how much the sweater costs?
Lindsay: It's seventy eight dollars. [Dharma looks to Jennifer for translation]
Jennifer: [holding up fingers] Seventy eight dollars. [Dharma and Jane look blankly]
Jennifer: Schleventy eighten dollarsen.
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Schleventy eighten dollarsen?
Jane Cavanaugh: Costen way too muchen.
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Das is einen Donald Trumpen poopen sweater.
Jennifer: They say it's a little pricey.
Lindsay: Well, the sale table is over there.
Jennifer: [pointing] Cheapen sweaters heresen.
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Cheapen sweaters sucken muchen.
Jennifer: They don't like em.
Lindsay: I got that.
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Costen poopen sweater?
Jennifer: They want to know how much the sweater costs?
Lindsay: It's seventy eight dollars. [Dharma looks to Jennifer for translation]
Jennifer: [holding up fingers] Seventy eight dollars. [Dharma and Jane look blankly]
Jennifer: Schleventy eighten dollarsen.
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Schleventy eighten dollarsen?
Jane Cavanaugh: Costen way too muchen.
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Das is einen Donald Trumpen poopen sweater.
Jennifer: They say it's a little pricey.
Lindsay: Well, the sale table is over there.
Jennifer: [pointing] Cheapen sweaters heresen.
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Cheapen sweaters sucken muchen.
Jennifer: They don't like em.
Lindsay: I got that.
Movie: Dharma and Greg
Greg: It's raining. We're not going to sleep in the rain, are we?
Dharma: No, silly, you don't sleep in the rain. You make love in the rain.
Greg: Ah. What if there's lightning?
Dharma: Then you get to be on top.
Dharma: No, silly, you don't sleep in the rain. You make love in the rain.
Greg: Ah. What if there's lightning?
Dharma: Then you get to be on top.
TV Show: Dharma and Greg
Dharma: He acted this way when I wanted to be a Girl Scout.
Larry: It's a para-military organization with cookies.
Larry: It's a para-military organization with cookies.
TV Show: Dharma and Greg
Larry: Next thing you know, she'll get a social security number.
Dharma: I got one.
Larry: What? Why?
Dharma: I opened a checking account.
Larry: Are you insane? You're on the grid now. They can find you anywhere.
Greg: Who's "they"?
Larry: You.
Dharma: I got one.
Larry: What? Why?
Dharma: I opened a checking account.
Larry: Are you insane? You're on the grid now. They can find you anywhere.
Greg: Who's "they"?
Larry: You.
TV Show: Dharma and Greg
[Before Dharma and Greg's wedding]
Dharma: Can you see me?
Greg: Yes.
Dharma: Oh, I totally misunderstood that groom-can't-see-the-bride-in-her-wedding-dress-thing.
[Kitty comes in]
Kitty: What are you doing here? You can't see her in her dress!
Dharma: See, that's what I thought!
Dharma: Can you see me?
Greg: Yes.
Dharma: Oh, I totally misunderstood that groom-can't-see-the-bride-in-her-wedding-dress-thing.
[Kitty comes in]
Kitty: What are you doing here? You can't see her in her dress!
Dharma: See, that's what I thought!
TV Show: Dharma and Greg
Abby: Larry, did you eat meat?
Larry: No.
Abby: You ate meat. I can smell it.
Larry: That's my tongue. It's made of meat.
Larry: No.
Abby: You ate meat. I can smell it.
Larry: That's my tongue. It's made of meat.
TV Show: Dharma and Greg
Kitty: Look! Look at these! They're awful!
Edward: They're just flowers. Nobody cares.
Kitty: And by "nobody", you mean "you".
Edward: Yes.
Kitty: Well, let me tell you something, Edward. Everybody cares. And by "everybody" I mean "me". I care, Edward. That is my job in this family. I care. I care at every Christmas dinner. I care at every business function. I care everytime that maid puts a meal down in front of you. And for some reason or other, you don't seem to notice.
Edward: All right, all right. Here's the checkbook.
Kitty: Thank you, Thank you, Edward. I will tuck this away in the gaping void that was once my soul.
Edward: Don't lose the pen this time.
Edward: They're just flowers. Nobody cares.
Kitty: And by "nobody", you mean "you".
Edward: Yes.
Kitty: Well, let me tell you something, Edward. Everybody cares. And by "everybody" I mean "me". I care, Edward. That is my job in this family. I care. I care at every Christmas dinner. I care at every business function. I care everytime that maid puts a meal down in front of you. And for some reason or other, you don't seem to notice.
Edward: All right, all right. Here's the checkbook.
Kitty: Thank you, Thank you, Edward. I will tuck this away in the gaping void that was once my soul.
Edward: Don't lose the pen this time.
TV Show: Dharma and Greg
Kitty: : Oh, Gregory, darling, every bride thinks she wants to cook a Thanksgiving dinner and it always ends up the same. Someone cries, someone is rushed to the emergency room and a perfectly lovely bird gets wasted. Which, if I don't eat soon, will be me.
TV Show: Dharma and Greg