WKRP in Cincinnati Quotes
Jennifer: Johnny Fever has come into a great deal of money.
Mr. Carlson: That soft drink machine break again?
Mr. Carlson: That soft drink machine break again?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: What is an executrix?
Herb: I don't know. High heels and a whole lot of leather, something like that.
Herb: I don't know. High heels and a whole lot of leather, something like that.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: Hey, Jenny, I didn't get a chance to tell you how sorry I am that that Colonel guy bought the farm. Hey, he had a long life, a lot of dough, he got to go out with you, caught the big bus while he was eating in the best joint in town. Not bad, if you ask me!
Jennifer: [Smiling] Sometimes I really like you, Herb. You really have a way with words.
Herb: Hey. I'm in sales!
Jennifer: [Smiling] Sometimes I really like you, Herb. You really have a way with words.
Herb: Hey. I'm in sales!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: My wife and I went to Washington about three years ago. The Lincoln Memorial is pretty good. There's a great big guy sitting in a chair.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: Next week I'll just take a little vacation, take Herb and Les with me - maybe Johnny too, you can never tell what he's gonna do...
Andy: Wait a minute, you can't just clear out the station!
Mr. Carlson: Why not? Just bring him here, introduce him to Jennifer, she'll wink at him a few times and he goes home.
Andy: And what if he is a she?
Mr. Carlson: Well then you wink at him.
Andy: Wait a minute, you can't just clear out the station!
Mr. Carlson: Why not? Just bring him here, introduce him to Jennifer, she'll wink at him a few times and he goes home.
Andy: And what if he is a she?
Mr. Carlson: Well then you wink at him.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mrs. Carlson: Why Hirsch! This coffee's delicious!!
Hirsch: Umm hmm. That's because we were having a guest, Madame. When it's just you and me, I prepare it a little differently.
Hirsch: Umm hmm. That's because we were having a guest, Madame. When it's just you and me, I prepare it a little differently.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: [on the phone] Thank you very much! It's nice talking to you too! Bye!
Jennifer: Who was that?
Mr. Carlson: My mom.
Jennifer: Really!
Mr. Carlson: Yeah. She was pleasant! No guilt feelings! Something's wrong, of course. She's dying.
Jennifer: Who was that?
Mr. Carlson: My mom.
Jennifer: Really!
Mr. Carlson: Yeah. She was pleasant! No guilt feelings! Something's wrong, of course. She's dying.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Venus: Andy's dating Mrs Carlson!
Andy: Don't tell anybody!
Venus: Andy's not dating Mrs Carlson!
Johnny: Which one, his wife or his mother?
Andy: His mother. What kind of guy do you think I am?
Johnny: Gee, Travis, I don't know!
Andy: Don't tell anybody!
Venus: Andy's not dating Mrs Carlson!
Johnny: Which one, his wife or his mother?
Andy: His mother. What kind of guy do you think I am?
Johnny: Gee, Travis, I don't know!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Carmen: I didn't join that sorority, because...
Mr. Carlson: Because you felt sorry for me.
Carmen: No! Because to get in I had to show up with a loser, a dip, a clown.
Mr. Carlson: Thanks, Carmen!
Carmen: And one minute after you picked me up, I knew you were none of those things. You were for me.
Mr. Carlson: Because you felt sorry for me.
Carmen: No! Because to get in I had to show up with a loser, a dip, a clown.
Mr. Carlson: Thanks, Carmen!
Carmen: And one minute after you picked me up, I knew you were none of those things. You were for me.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: It wasn't really an 'official' fraternity. Mother sort of rented this house for a bunch of us who couldn't get in.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Venus: Andy, real speed is gone because it killed everybody. Junkies don't even want it back!
Johnny: And once the Republicans got in, everyone just switched to downers!
Johnny: And once the Republicans got in, everyone just switched to downers!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: Where do they go, anyway, Travis?
Andy: What's that, sir?
Mr. Carlson: The donuts. When I eat those suckers, they go straight for my beltline. When you eat them, apparently they turn into hair.
Andy: What's that, sir?
Mr. Carlson: The donuts. When I eat those suckers, they go straight for my beltline. When you eat them, apparently they turn into hair.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: Watch out for those reporters, they'll tear you to pieces. I mean, they already have their story, and then they come up here with this pre-conceived notion and put a hatchet right in your back. Remember last year when I was on that TV show? They killed me.
Venus: Yeah, but I'm not trying to hide anything.
Herb: I wasn't trying to hide anything!
Andy: Come on, Herbert, you were trying to pretend you were something you're not.
Venus: Human.
Herb: Aren't we all trying to hide something? And in the larger sense, isn't that what makes us human?
Venus: Where'd you get that speech?
Herb: Read it on a T-Shirt.
Venus: Yeah, but I'm not trying to hide anything.
Herb: I wasn't trying to hide anything!
Andy: Come on, Herbert, you were trying to pretend you were something you're not.
Venus: Human.
Herb: Aren't we all trying to hide something? And in the larger sense, isn't that what makes us human?
Venus: Where'd you get that speech?
Herb: Read it on a T-Shirt.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Bailey: Have you noticed that you can't tell what color someone is over the phone?
Venus: I guess not.
Bailey: That's right! Stereotype thinking! I mean, when I heard Black Life Magazine, I was expecting him to be like "Hey, little momma, you tell the dude I'll be here at fo'." But he didn't. He sounded just like you!
Venus: What does she mean "just like me?" I'm black, I'm from the street, I can say "fo'!"
Johnny: That's right, Kingfish. You is, and you does. But the problem is, you sound neutral.
Venus: Neutral. You mean 'white.'
Johnny: Well, don't worry, pal. I've heard you say "upside your head," things like that. Don't worry, you can pass for black.
Venus: I don't want to "pass for black," I want to be black! What the hell am I saying?
Venus: I guess not.
Bailey: That's right! Stereotype thinking! I mean, when I heard Black Life Magazine, I was expecting him to be like "Hey, little momma, you tell the dude I'll be here at fo'." But he didn't. He sounded just like you!
Venus: What does she mean "just like me?" I'm black, I'm from the street, I can say "fo'!"
Johnny: That's right, Kingfish. You is, and you does. But the problem is, you sound neutral.
Venus: Neutral. You mean 'white.'
Johnny: Well, don't worry, pal. I've heard you say "upside your head," things like that. Don't worry, you can pass for black.
Venus: I don't want to "pass for black," I want to be black! What the hell am I saying?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: Monster lizard ravages east coast! Mayors in five New England cities have issued emergency requests for federal disaster relief as a result of a giant lizard that descended on the east coast last night! Officials say that this lizard, the worst since '78, has devastated transportation, disrupted communication, and left many hundreds homeless!
Johnny: Monster lizard?
Les: The wire service never lies!
Johnny: Les, the "B" is out on the printer! It's monster blizzard!
Johnny: Monster lizard?
Les: The wire service never lies!
Johnny: Les, the "B" is out on the printer! It's monster blizzard!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: Are you trying to tell me that I'm not worthy of Lorraine?
Jennifer: No, I'm trying to tell you that Lorraine is not worthy of you.
Les: She cost $200.
Jennifer: No, she charges $200. Les, I'm talking about the oldest profession.
Les: Lorraine's a farmer?
Jennifer: No, I'm trying to tell you that Lorraine is not worthy of you.
Les: She cost $200.
Jennifer: No, she charges $200. Les, I'm talking about the oldest profession.
Les: Lorraine's a farmer?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Andy: Herbert, I do not need a computerized service to help me find girls. I meet 'em the old-fashioned way: I pick them up in bars.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: Officer Shanks, explain fire.
Fireman: What?
Les: Exactly why do things burn?
Fireman: What kind of a station is this?
Fireman: What?
Les: Exactly why do things burn?
Fireman: What kind of a station is this?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: The phones are dead! The phones are dead!
Venus: Not now, Les!
Les: Well, shouldn't we call somebody?
Venus: Not now, Les!
Les: Well, shouldn't we call somebody?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Andy: Les, your stories always seem to have a kind of a, uh... how shall I put this?
Johnny: Barnyard aroma?
Johnny: Barnyard aroma?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: [on Les' demand for walls] You know, I think walls would be good for him. Big padded ones, about that thick.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mrs. Carlson: [to Andy] If you're going to grab me, do it nicely—in the back seat of my Rolls.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Venus: Couldn't I have a cosmic name for a boy, like Pluto!
Andy: That's a dog's name.
Venus: Mercury.
Andy: That guy brings flowers. Now listen. What do you think of when you hear the name "Venus?"
Venus: Flytrap.
Andy: That's a dog's name.
Venus: Mercury.
Andy: That guy brings flowers. Now listen. What do you think of when you hear the name "Venus?"
Venus: Flytrap.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Bailey: You don't like parties? You don't like putting on a silly hat, hiding behind furniture, and generally stripping yourself of every shred of human dignity?
Johnny: Now that you put it that way, I do like that.
Johnny: Now that you put it that way, I do like that.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: Travis, you should've heard Bailey with the news. It's the first time it ever made sense.
Jennifer: I like when Les does it. It's always so surreal.
Jennifer: I like when Les does it. It's always so surreal.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: Well, Herb, what do you think? What we have here is an ad for Soul Suds Shampoo, a shampoo that's exclusively marketed to the hip black customer. Am I right?
Herb: Yes, sir.
Mr. Carlson: Then why are we looking at a picture of this really idiotic-looking white man?
Herb: [into the phone] You call yourselves printers? There were fifty photos of a black guy in a tuxedo holding a bottle of shampoo, and one photo of a white guy barbecuing, and you used the white guy! ... I don't care which photo I marked. I made the mistake and you people were supposed to catch it, that's what I pay you for. Don't you remember? I screw up everything! You should know that if it comes from me, it's wrong!
Herb: Yes, sir.
Mr. Carlson: Then why are we looking at a picture of this really idiotic-looking white man?
Herb: [into the phone] You call yourselves printers? There were fifty photos of a black guy in a tuxedo holding a bottle of shampoo, and one photo of a white guy barbecuing, and you used the white guy! ... I don't care which photo I marked. I made the mistake and you people were supposed to catch it, that's what I pay you for. Don't you remember? I screw up everything! You should know that if it comes from me, it's wrong!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: Here's how we do it. We go into the supermarket. [to Bailey] You create a ruckus in the produce section. [to Venus] You grab the poster, slip it under your jacket, we're out the door!
Bailey: What kind of ruckus?
Johnny: I don't know, uh, something with mangoes.
Bailey: Mangoes?
Andy: [entering] Hey, Venus, don't worry about the posters; they'll be out of the supermarkets by tomorrow.
Venus: Thank goodness.
Bailey: Oh, too bad. I was just getting a mental picture of me and those mangoes.
Johnny: Yeah...?
Bailey: What kind of ruckus?
Johnny: I don't know, uh, something with mangoes.
Bailey: Mangoes?
Andy: [entering] Hey, Venus, don't worry about the posters; they'll be out of the supermarkets by tomorrow.
Venus: Thank goodness.
Bailey: Oh, too bad. I was just getting a mental picture of me and those mangoes.
Johnny: Yeah...?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: Statistics, right? I don't trust 'em. Statistically speaking, anybody who's led the kind of life that I have should look completely wasted.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Andy: Can you give me three solid reasons why Les should be fired?
Mrs. Carlson: Yes—he's incompetent, unprofessional, and very weird.
Mrs. Carlson: Yes—he's incompetent, unprofessional, and very weird.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
[after an elderly couple has broken into the DJ booth]
Dr. Johnny Fever: All right, you two, up against the wall! I don't what you want but you should know I've killed a lot of old people in my time. And I'm not above doing it again.
Dr. Johnny Fever: All right, you two, up against the wall! I don't what you want but you should know I've killed a lot of old people in my time. And I'm not above doing it again.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati