WKRP in Cincinnati Quotes
Johnny: You used to be a good disk jockey, man. 'Course, that was when you were black.
Venus: You want to be Acting Program Director? You want to argue about something you don't care about with someone you agree with?
Johnny: Do you understand what you just said?
Venus: Not a word.
Venus: You want to be Acting Program Director? You want to argue about something you don't care about with someone you agree with?
Johnny: Do you understand what you just said?
Venus: Not a word.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny's Ghost: Bailey runs a television station in Chicago. Travis is breeding guard dogs in New Mexico. Venus owns a clothing company called "Upwardly Mobile." Jennifer married and bought herself an entire island off the coast of Sardinia. Les Nessman? The Republican whip of the United States Senate!
Mr. Carlson: What about you and me? Fever and me?
Johnny's Ghost: Well, Fever just sort of ... disappeared. There were rumors, of course, but really not much else.
Mr. Carlson: And me? No no, don't tell me, I don't want to know. I'm dead, aren't I?
Mr. Carlson: What about you and me? Fever and me?
Johnny's Ghost: Well, Fever just sort of ... disappeared. There were rumors, of course, but really not much else.
Mr. Carlson: And me? No no, don't tell me, I don't want to know. I'm dead, aren't I?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: I can't wake up...
Grandfather Carlson: I know.
Mr. Carlson: Scrooge could wake up!
Grandfather Carlson: Scrooge didn't eat one of Johnny's brownies.
Grandfather Carlson: I know.
Mr. Carlson: Scrooge could wake up!
Grandfather Carlson: Scrooge didn't eat one of Johnny's brownies.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Andy: Heat, there's no heat!
Johnny: No kidding there's no heat! It's because Mr. Carlson's mother is here. She walks in, everything freezes. She is the Ice Queen! She has powers beyond any mortal woman!
Johnny: No kidding there's no heat! It's because Mr. Carlson's mother is here. She walks in, everything freezes. She is the Ice Queen! She has powers beyond any mortal woman!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: Mother Carlson, how nice to see you, what a lovely surprise!
Mrs. Carlson: Down, boy.
Herb: Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Carlson: Down, boy.
Herb: Yes, ma'am.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Venus: I think there are only two things anybody cares about in this world. One, survival, and two, conquest.
Arnold: What about sex?
Venus: That's part of survival.
Arnold: What about sex?
Venus: That's part of survival.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: She threatened to set the whole city on fire by setting matches to my suit.
Bailey: Herb, did you order those petitions?
Herb: No. What do you think of that?
Bailey: Andy, do you have any matches?
Bailey: Herb, did you order those petitions?
Herb: No. What do you think of that?
Bailey: Andy, do you have any matches?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Berwick: It's your radical affiliations, Mr. Nessman.
Andy: What radical affiliations?
Les: Well, I am a member of the Hoedown Square-Dancing Club.
Andy: What radical affiliations?
Les: Well, I am a member of the Hoedown Square-Dancing Club.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: [drunk] And that's why I say with the proper military backing, we can go anywhere in the world and say, "We are Americans! Give us your girls!"
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: Suppose I were to tell you that I've been having serious troubles at home?
Andy: Is that true?
Herb: No. But if it were true, my behavior would be acceptable, right?
Andy: Well, maybe, Herb, but that's not the point.
Herb: Sure, it's the point! Acceptable behavior. I mean, why is it okay for certain people to come floating in here on God knows what, but if I have one little drink --
Andy: I don't care what people's hobbies are, but I do care when it starts to affect their work, and I don't care who they are, if they start blowing it.
Herb: So what do you want?
Andy: I want you to shape up.
Herb: So what's new, Travis?
Andy: Is that true?
Herb: No. But if it were true, my behavior would be acceptable, right?
Andy: Well, maybe, Herb, but that's not the point.
Herb: Sure, it's the point! Acceptable behavior. I mean, why is it okay for certain people to come floating in here on God knows what, but if I have one little drink --
Andy: I don't care what people's hobbies are, but I do care when it starts to affect their work, and I don't care who they are, if they start blowing it.
Herb: So what do you want?
Andy: I want you to shape up.
Herb: So what's new, Travis?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
[Herb, Bailey and Jennifer are playing Monopoly, and Herb is bankrupt.]
Bailey: Well, we could play Strip Monopoly. You could give us your coat, Herb!
Herb: Huh?
Jennifer: That's fine. I'll take the coat.
Bailey: Guess which item of apparel comes next?
Jennifer: Whoo!
Herb: Is this what women's liberation is all about? Humiliation?
Bailey: No. We just heard you had great legs.
Herb: [smiles and starts to unbutton his coat] Who told you?
Bailey: Les.
[Herb stops unbuttoning his coat and exits quickly.]
Bailey: Well, we could play Strip Monopoly. You could give us your coat, Herb!
Herb: Huh?
Jennifer: That's fine. I'll take the coat.
Bailey: Guess which item of apparel comes next?
Jennifer: Whoo!
Herb: Is this what women's liberation is all about? Humiliation?
Bailey: No. We just heard you had great legs.
Herb: [smiles and starts to unbutton his coat] Who told you?
Bailey: Les.
[Herb stops unbuttoning his coat and exits quickly.]
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: I'm telling you, without that "Greenhouse effect," we'd all freeze to death.
Les: Not so!
Herb: Les, it would be one hundred degrees below zero at night!
Les: Not so!
Herb: Les, it would be one hundred degrees below zero at night!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: Somebody must have jimmied the lock!
Johnny: [looking where Les's walls would be] Jimmied it? I think they took the whole door!
Johnny: [looking where Les's walls would be] Jimmied it? I think they took the whole door!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: Johnny, my space has been violated!
Johnny: Congratulations! It's about time.
Johnny: Congratulations! It's about time.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Venus: [to Andy] If you're not back in four hours, I'm going all Christmas music! Think about it, I mean it!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: In a situation like this, I always ask myself, what would my hero Edward R. Murrow think? And I think that Ed would think that this was censorship. Then I think about what my other hero, General George Patton, would think, and I think George would think that radio and television ought to be cleaned up, and if he were alive today, he'd take two armored cavalry divisions into Hollywood and knock all those liberal pinheads into the Pacific! So as you can see, I'm a very confused man. And when I get confused, I watch TV. Television is never confusing. It's all so simple somehow.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Andy: Half the time you can't even hear the lyrics.
Mr. Carlson: Well, these people, these CURB monitors, they figured out the lyrics.
Johnny: They sure did! Boy, I can see 'em now, huddled there in the corner of the church, playing every record slower and slower... then suddenly, "there's a naughty word!"
Mr. Carlson: Well, these people, these CURB monitors, they figured out the lyrics.
Johnny: They sure did! Boy, I can see 'em now, huddled there in the corner of the church, playing every record slower and slower... then suddenly, "there's a naughty word!"
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Andy: We have a responsibility to our listeners!
Johnny: Right! If I die, who's gonna teach the children about Bo Diddley?
Johnny: Right! If I die, who's gonna teach the children about Bo Diddley?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: Well?
Venus: Well what?
Johnny: Well, go back in there and get the albums.
Venus: Need I remind you that the police are going to search every inch of this station, including your desk drawer?
Johnny: I'll go get those albums.
Venus: Well what?
Johnny: Well, go back in there and get the albums.
Venus: Need I remind you that the police are going to search every inch of this station, including your desk drawer?
Johnny: I'll go get those albums.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: [after hearing the sirens] It's the phone cops. They know what I did here today.
Venus: What are you talking about?
Johnny: They're coming to get me, man!
Venus: That's paranoia, man!
Johnny: Wake up, sucker, this is the phone company we're talking about! They see everything, they know everything, they got their own covert police force! I'm probably wired for sound right now! I gotta get out of here!
Venus: Johnny!
Johnny: Don't use my name!!
Venus: What are you talking about?
Johnny: They're coming to get me, man!
Venus: That's paranoia, man!
Johnny: Wake up, sucker, this is the phone company we're talking about! They see everything, they know everything, they got their own covert police force! I'm probably wired for sound right now! I gotta get out of here!
Venus: Johnny!
Johnny: Don't use my name!!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: Johnny! Venus! You're alive!
Johnny: The newsman's eye. You just can't fool it.
Les: Well, that's wonderful.
Venus: Gee thanks, Les.
Les: Of course, I'll have to update my story. How'd you like it, Andy?
Andy: How'd I like what, Les?
Les: My four o'clock news report. Didn't you listen?
Andy: Les, the transmitter blew up!
Les: Of course! That was my lead!
Johnny: You led off the newscast by telling them that we're off the air?
Les: No. But I can include that in my update.
Johnny: The newsman's eye. You just can't fool it.
Les: Well, that's wonderful.
Venus: Gee thanks, Les.
Les: Of course, I'll have to update my story. How'd you like it, Andy?
Andy: How'd I like what, Les?
Les: My four o'clock news report. Didn't you listen?
Andy: Les, the transmitter blew up!
Les: Of course! That was my lead!
Johnny: You led off the newscast by telling them that we're off the air?
Les: No. But I can include that in my update.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Jennifer: I already belong to a union. It's a quasi-religious group called the International Sisterhood of Blond Receptionists. There are only twelve members in the world. We meet once every two years in Switzerland. If I told you our minimum salary you'd have a heart attack and die. Bye.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: WKRP, with your generous help and support, has now climbed to 10th place in the Cincinnati market! If I sound emotional about this, it's because I can still hear my father saying: "Son, no matter what you decide to do in this life, always try to come in 10th." I think we've done it here, Dad!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Bailey: [to Herb] Continuity is so important. Thank you for always being a jerk.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Andy: You're paranoid.
Johnny: Hey, Travis, when everybody is out to get you, paranoid is just good thinking!
Johnny: Hey, Travis, when everybody is out to get you, paranoid is just good thinking!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Bailey: [in jail] You don't think they're going to fingerprint us, do you? "Bailey Quarters, Summa Cum Laude Ohio State, Sex Pervert!"
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: Where are we going?
Herb: To be among the living, Les.
Les: But I was going to Omaha!
Herb: To be among the living, Les.
Les: But I was going to Omaha!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: Jennifer, in a little while when I'm happy again because we've made a sale, remind me what's been said about me and by whom. A certain little salesman I know is going to suffer.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: [pointing at the stairs] Do these lead upstairs?
Johnny: It depends on which way you're going.
Johnny: It depends on which way you're going.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati