WKRP in Cincinnati Quotes
Johnny: All right, Cincinnati shape up cause it's time for your morning check up. The Doctor is on duty. I have just returned from personally supervising an extensive research project involving West Coast vegetable worship cults and the cure's here babies. That's right. Doctor Johnny Fever is back and I'm on call every morning on WKRP in Cincinnati!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: Dip?
Venus: None for me, thanks.
Les: Do you have any chips?
Herb: What do you want, the world?
Venus: None for me, thanks.
Les: Do you have any chips?
Herb: What do you want, the world?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: The time is 6: 07 in the morning, and it's time for this message.
Commercial: Wouldn't a delicious, ice-cold beer taste particularly good right now? Sure it would!
Johnny: Sure it would.
Commercial: Wouldn't a delicious, ice-cold beer taste particularly good right now? Sure it would!
Johnny: Sure it would.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: Now listen, these are the copy points you have to work into the jingle, ok? A: 'All weather floral arrangements'...
Venus: What does that mean?
Johnny: Uh, that's plastic flowers.
Herb: ...B: 'Maintenance free artificial turf'....
Johnny: Plastic grass....
Herb: ...C: 'They accept all major credit cards'.
Johnny: That would be your plastic money.
Venus: What does that mean?
Johnny: Uh, that's plastic flowers.
Herb: ...B: 'Maintenance free artificial turf'....
Johnny: Plastic grass....
Herb: ...C: 'They accept all major credit cards'.
Johnny: That would be your plastic money.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: Commission City! Open your pearly gates to Herb Tarlek and say...
Jennifer: [Suddenly opening the door] There's a dead man in the lobby!
Jennifer: [Suddenly opening the door] There's a dead man in the lobby!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: Bailey, you're his friend. What do you really know about Venus?
Bailey: You promise not to tell?
Les: I swear.
Bailey: Well, uh... you're gonna think this is a little crazy at first, but uh... I think he's black.
Bailey: You promise not to tell?
Les: I swear.
Bailey: Well, uh... you're gonna think this is a little crazy at first, but uh... I think he's black.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: I had a horrible dream last night.
Everyone else: Awww!
Herb: Yeah. I dreamt that John and Jennifer really were married. There were all these little kids running around, and they all had on sweatshirts and dark glasses and three-day beards. And they all started chasing me. All the little Johnnys caught me and tied me up, and I started screaming for help, and then all the little Jennifers just ignored me! And then they grabbed my white belt and just started beating me!
Everyone else: Awww!
Herb: Yeah. I dreamt that John and Jennifer really were married. There were all these little kids running around, and they all had on sweatshirts and dark glasses and three-day beards. And they all started chasing me. All the little Johnnys caught me and tied me up, and I started screaming for help, and then all the little Jennifers just ignored me! And then they grabbed my white belt and just started beating me!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Andy: You interested in radio?
Little Arthur: Oh, kinda.
Johnny: It's probably because he knows that the first thing you do when you overthrow a government is seize control of the radio station.
Little Arthur: Oh, kinda.
Johnny: It's probably because he knows that the first thing you do when you overthrow a government is seize control of the radio station.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: I see you've met Little Arthur.
Bailey: Yeah, he's somewhat of a ... a...
Jennifer: A Nazi.
Bailey: Yeah, he's somewhat of a ... a...
Jennifer: A Nazi.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: All right fellow babies, that was the Doors, and this is sort of Johnny Fever, kind of Doctor. And after [slurs] nine drinks, Venus Flytrap is catatonic, and I myself have personally just seen a giant pig. He is currently painting the walls of our lobby.
Officer: He is obviously drunk, ladies and gentlemen.
Johnny: Yes, he is, and I'm not feeling badly myself.
Officer: He is obviously drunk, ladies and gentlemen.
Johnny: Yes, he is, and I'm not feeling badly myself.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Officer: You have obviously built up a super-human tolerance to alcohol.
Johnny: Yes, it's true. It was once sort of a hobby.
Johnny: Yes, it's true. It was once sort of a hobby.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Venus: Andy, Little Ed weighs about 300 pounds.
Andy: He does?
Venus: That's right.
Andy: Why do they call him Little Ed?
Venus: Because his wife is Big Ed.
Andy: He does?
Venus: That's right.
Andy: Why do they call him Little Ed?
Venus: Because his wife is Big Ed.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: The Doctor is not feelin' too good today. The Doctor was a bad boy last night. The Doctor overmedicated!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: [to Buffy] So you put poison in the brandy. That's very Medieval of you.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: Bailey, you'll lead us in a team prayer.
Bailey: Why me?
Les: Because you're the most wholesome.
Bailey: Why me?
Les: Because you're the most wholesome.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Hopkins: [on Herb] I will not be taught how to live by a man in a white belt!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Herb: You know what we call problems in sales? We call them opportunities.
Mr. Hopkins: Les, your friend is a twit.
Mr. Hopkins: Les, your friend is a twit.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Steel: I like to think that a person's name says a lot about the type of person he is. What was your name again?
Les: [pauses] Les.
Les: [pauses] Les.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: The secret is to appear to answer all the questions, when in truth it's all mumbo-jumbo. Here, let me show you. Herb, ask me this question.
[Les hands Herb a card with a question written on it]
Herb: Surely. "Mr. Candidate, what is your energy program?"
Les: Right now, I'm devoting a great deal of time and study to that problem. And I intend to issue a position paper on that. A position that is at once simple, yet complex, flexible, and above all else, fair to every American.
[Les hands Herb a card with a question written on it]
Herb: Surely. "Mr. Candidate, what is your energy program?"
Les: Right now, I'm devoting a great deal of time and study to that problem. And I intend to issue a position paper on that. A position that is at once simple, yet complex, flexible, and above all else, fair to every American.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: Listen, Venus, how do things look in the black community?
Venus: Oh, same old thing. Big lush lawns, manicured hedges. Living's easy. Fish are jumpin', cotton oh 'bout so high... Daddy's rich. I suppose you don't wanna hear about my momma, huh?
Venus: Oh, same old thing. Big lush lawns, manicured hedges. Living's easy. Fish are jumpin', cotton oh 'bout so high... Daddy's rich. I suppose you don't wanna hear about my momma, huh?
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: You just talk into the mike and your voice goes out through the wires, and once a week, whether you need it or not, somebody comes in here and gives you a check for $38.
Bailey: Don't you ever get scared, you know, like, get stage fright?
Johnny: Well, I'll tell you a secret, Bailey. If you ever find yourself on the air, and you feel a little nervous, just imagine that you're speaking to one specific person. Which in fact is probably the case here.
Bailey: Don't you ever get scared, you know, like, get stage fright?
Johnny: Well, I'll tell you a secret, Bailey. If you ever find yourself on the air, and you feel a little nervous, just imagine that you're speaking to one specific person. Which in fact is probably the case here.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Bailey: Just pretend you're talking to one person. A friend. Me.
Johnny: Okay.
Bailey: That's how you told me to do it. Now you do it.
Johnny: Okay, I'll give it a try.
Bailey: Just talk to me.
Johnny: This is, uh, your Doctor speaking. Hello, and good afternoon, Cincinnati. I sure would like to take you home and kiss you all over in the dark.
Johnny: Okay.
Bailey: That's how you told me to do it. Now you do it.
Johnny: Okay, I'll give it a try.
Bailey: Just talk to me.
Johnny: This is, uh, your Doctor speaking. Hello, and good afternoon, Cincinnati. I sure would like to take you home and kiss you all over in the dark.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Johnny: [on sex frequency per week statistic] 2.96? I wonder how they do the, uh, .96 part.
Bailey: That is just an average, Johnny.
Johnny: Well, it should average out to three. Somebody's not doing something right!
Bailey: That is just an average, Johnny.
Johnny: Well, it should average out to three. Somebody's not doing something right!
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Mr. Carlson: How many times have you said to yourself, "if I knew then what I know now"? Well, by golly, this is the new then. Now, I mean. Because I know now what I didn't used to know then. As a manner of speaking, you could say that I know now what I know now.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Andy: Let me ask you a question - am I the guard, or one of the nuts?
Venus: I think you're a guard on the way to becoming a nut.
Venus: I think you're a guard on the way to becoming a nut.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati
Les: It says here my audience share of men 65 and over went down six points.
Herb: Let's face it Les--your audience is dying off.
Herb: Let's face it Les--your audience is dying off.
TV Show: WKRP in Cincinnati