Trailer Park Boys Quotes
Ricky: (Breathes out heavily) What, are you stupid? You fucking taste it. Unleaded tastes a little tangy, supreme is kinda sour, and diesel tastes pretty good.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Bubbles: Stealing gas? Why, Cory and Trevor, that's highly illegal, you shouldn't be stealing gas, Cory and Trevor.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: Yeah, it's fucked up to be stealing gas like Cory and Trevor, I don't want anything to do with Cory and Trevor's gas stealing.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
J-ROC: Only wack suckas like Cory and Trevor steal gas.....and deal dope.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: Simply went in to buy some patches for my daughter and all of a sudden my gun was out, which is no big deal, and he overreacts, freaks out, thought we were robbing the place. It's on fuckin' video camera, so since it's on video camera I decided that we should take a bit of shit. If we're gonna go to jail for robbing the place, I mean it's...[a dog starts barking in the background] Will you shut the fuck up, dog! [the dog yelps] gonna be, you know, in a place that looks like you robbed it, you might as well take some shit. That's the way it is. I'm not going to jail for not taking anything, for robbing a place. So we took a bit of stuff!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: Let's go, smokes!
Prosecutor: But I've only got two left!
Ricky: I don't care. You've been a dick all morning. It's the least you can do for me!
Prosecutor: Oh, for the love of God...
Prosecutor: But I've only got two left!
Ricky: I don't care. You've been a dick all morning. It's the least you can do for me!
Prosecutor: Oh, for the love of God...
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: My first order of business is to tell the prosecutor to shut the fuck up and wipe that stupid fucking grin off his face because it's distraculating my case.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: The defense rests, everybody can fuck off. Except you (points to the magistrate) I didn't mean you. But those two guys, and him (pointing to the prosecutor). (to camera man) Could you guys get the fuck out of the way? Please!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
J-ROC: There's two things mafuckas gotta know about J-to-the-R-O-C, straight up, you know what I'm sayin'? First of all, I spin more rhymes than a Lazy Susan and I'm innocent until my guilt is proven. Peace. Representin' Sunnyvale, straight the fuck up.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Bubble's Rap]
I got a grey kitty, white one, and a tabby too/
And a big orange guy who put snakes in my shoes/
Mad MC skills, leave ya struck, and I roll with ma kitties, and I'm hard as fuck/
I am down with Plato and Socrates/
And I like to get busy with all the ladies./
Grunt, grunt/
somethin', somethin', somethin', somethin'/
Grunt/
Up in my shed, up in my shed...ya bitches
I got a grey kitty, white one, and a tabby too/
And a big orange guy who put snakes in my shoes/
Mad MC skills, leave ya struck, and I roll with ma kitties, and I'm hard as fuck/
I am down with Plato and Socrates/
And I like to get busy with all the ladies./
Grunt, grunt/
somethin', somethin', somethin', somethin'/
Grunt/
Up in my shed, up in my shed...ya bitches
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: Helix was a wicked concert. Fuck, I sold a lot of dope at that concert. I mean, they had good lyrics like, "Gimme an R-O-C-K", and the crowd yells "ROCK" really loud. Now that's a fuckin' concert!
Bubbles: I'm not giving anyone a fuckin' R!
Ricky: Rush just don't do stuff like that. They got these lyrics about how trees are talking to each other and how different sides of your brain works, or outerspace bullshit.
Bubbles: Gimme a fuckin' R...
Bubbles: I'm not giving anyone a fuckin' R!
Ricky: Rush just don't do stuff like that. They got these lyrics about how trees are talking to each other and how different sides of your brain works, or outerspace bullshit.
Bubbles: Gimme a fuckin' R...
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Bubbles: Lahey, will you please get the flyin' fuck out of our way! We gotta go get Rush tickets!
[Ricky drives the Shitmobile through the garbage]
Randy: Ricky!
[Bubbles gives Lahey and Randy the finger to the opening riff of "Limelight"]
[Ricky drives the Shitmobile through the garbage]
Randy: Ricky!
[Bubbles gives Lahey and Randy the finger to the opening riff of "Limelight"]
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Randy over phone/radio after stealing Bubble's answer and winning the Rush radio contest]
Randy: Holy fuck, Mr. Lahey, we won!
Randy: Holy fuck, Mr. Lahey, we won!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: What the fuck are you guys doing here? You following us or something?
Cory: Yeah, sorry I was following you, dude. But I have a brilliant idea, man. If we take dope and sell it at the Rush concert, we can sell it for double the price and make a ton of loot, man! It works every time. Can you hook us up?
Ricky: That's a god idea, guys. I got a little bit of dope here for you.
[Ricky feigns opening the glove box, then pulls out his hand with a middle finger raised and sticks it in Cory's face]
Ricky: There's no fucking dope in town, you idiots!
Trevor: Julian, you gotta be able to get some dope. We'll take the cruise money and double it up, man. We can do it!
Julian: All right, boys. Here. Get us all some Rush tickets.
[Julian gives Cory a handful of cash]
Cory: Nice!
Ricky: You sure about this?
Julian: I want the change back too, boys. Don't fuck this up!
Cory: That's cool.
Julian: I think I can get us some dope, man.
Ricky: Where the fuck are you gonna get dope?
[Ricky walks up to a cop with a drug dog in a parking garage]
Ricky: How's it goin'? You guys got a package for Cory and Trevor Lahey?
[Another cop walks up, Ricky gives him money, the cop with the dog takes a big bag of pot out from under the dog's harness and hands it to Ricky]
Ricky: Fuck, I hate buying dope from cops, man. They way overcharge every time. It doesn't even feel like a pound.
Cory: Yeah, sorry I was following you, dude. But I have a brilliant idea, man. If we take dope and sell it at the Rush concert, we can sell it for double the price and make a ton of loot, man! It works every time. Can you hook us up?
Ricky: That's a god idea, guys. I got a little bit of dope here for you.
[Ricky feigns opening the glove box, then pulls out his hand with a middle finger raised and sticks it in Cory's face]
Ricky: There's no fucking dope in town, you idiots!
Trevor: Julian, you gotta be able to get some dope. We'll take the cruise money and double it up, man. We can do it!
Julian: All right, boys. Here. Get us all some Rush tickets.
[Julian gives Cory a handful of cash]
Cory: Nice!
Ricky: You sure about this?
Julian: I want the change back too, boys. Don't fuck this up!
Cory: That's cool.
Julian: I think I can get us some dope, man.
Ricky: Where the fuck are you gonna get dope?
[Ricky walks up to a cop with a drug dog in a parking garage]
Ricky: How's it goin'? You guys got a package for Cory and Trevor Lahey?
[Another cop walks up, Ricky gives him money, the cop with the dog takes a big bag of pot out from under the dog's harness and hands it to Ricky]
Ricky: Fuck, I hate buying dope from cops, man. They way overcharge every time. It doesn't even feel like a pound.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Bubbles: Ricky, you fuckin' promised me you'd get me a Rush ticket!
Ricky: It wasn't my fault, Bubbles. I'm sorry!
Bubbles: It is your fault! This could affect our friendship, you know!
Ricky: Bubbles, don't talk like that!
Bubbles: COCKSUCKER!
Ricky: It wasn't my fault, Bubbles. I'm sorry!
Bubbles: It is your fault! This could affect our friendship, you know!
Ricky: Bubbles, don't talk like that!
Bubbles: COCKSUCKER!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Bubbles: Julian, this isn't about the money, you know. Don't you guys ever think of the music? That's what this is about. Remember 'Closer To The Heart'? Remember how good the fuckin' concert was in '87?
Ricky: That was awesome, man. Remember we got kicked out during 'I Like To Rock'? Then we wrecked the Dartmouth ferry? That was fuckin' wicked!
Bubbles: That was fuckin' April Wine, Ricky, but that was a good fuckin' concert.
Ricky: That was awesome, man. Remember we got kicked out during 'I Like To Rock'? Then we wrecked the Dartmouth ferry? That was fuckin' wicked!
Bubbles: That was fuckin' April Wine, Ricky, but that was a good fuckin' concert.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Julian: Don't do anything stupid, Ricky!
Bubbles: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. He probably won't do anything stupid, Julian...
Bubbles: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. He probably won't do anything stupid, Julian...
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Ricky walks up to a hotel front desk with a beat up old guitar]
Desk Attendant: Welcome to the Prince Elliot.
Ricky: How's it goin'. I'm Alex Lifeson's personal guitar tech and I gotta take this up to his room right away. Can I have the key, please?
[Ricky walks into room 2112 quietly and sneaks up on Alex shaving in the bathroom]
Ricky: Most rock stars are supposed to be really approachable and really fun and easy to talk to, but for some reason, Alex wasn't.
Ricky: I need four tickets to your concert right now. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Alex Lifeson: Look, look, I'm not a ticket agency, I'm sorry. I can't help you with the tickets.
Ricky: You can't give me four tickets to your concert?!
Alex Lifeson: I'm sorry.
Ricky: He's just one of these guys that, 'Hey, I don't want to talk to anybody,' and 'I'm a big fancy rock star,' and 'You can't talk to me!' So, it pissed me off!
[Ricky starts wrapping Alex up in duct tape]
Alex Lifeson: Hang on a second, man! Hang on!
[Ricky leads Alex down the hallway in his robe, duct-taped and ankle-cuffed]
Ricky: Let's go. No fuckin' around here. You say a word about this and I'm gonna tell everyone you sexually assaulted me.
Alex Lifeson: Come on, give me a break!
Ricky: Come with me, just take it easy. We're just gonna go for a little ride.
[They walk into the lobby]
Ricky: Hotel Security! This man's drunk as fuck, he's on drugs, he's a male prostitute. I'm gonna escort him out of here!
Desk Attendant: Welcome to the Prince Elliot.
Ricky: How's it goin'. I'm Alex Lifeson's personal guitar tech and I gotta take this up to his room right away. Can I have the key, please?
[Ricky walks into room 2112 quietly and sneaks up on Alex shaving in the bathroom]
Ricky: Most rock stars are supposed to be really approachable and really fun and easy to talk to, but for some reason, Alex wasn't.
Ricky: I need four tickets to your concert right now. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Alex Lifeson: Look, look, I'm not a ticket agency, I'm sorry. I can't help you with the tickets.
Ricky: You can't give me four tickets to your concert?!
Alex Lifeson: I'm sorry.
Ricky: He's just one of these guys that, 'Hey, I don't want to talk to anybody,' and 'I'm a big fancy rock star,' and 'You can't talk to me!' So, it pissed me off!
[Ricky starts wrapping Alex up in duct tape]
Alex Lifeson: Hang on a second, man! Hang on!
[Ricky leads Alex down the hallway in his robe, duct-taped and ankle-cuffed]
Ricky: Let's go. No fuckin' around here. You say a word about this and I'm gonna tell everyone you sexually assaulted me.
Alex Lifeson: Come on, give me a break!
Ricky: Come with me, just take it easy. We're just gonna go for a little ride.
[They walk into the lobby]
Ricky: Hotel Security! This man's drunk as fuck, he's on drugs, he's a male prostitute. I'm gonna escort him out of here!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: I may have called him a male prostitute. I don't remember exactly, but he very well could be a male prostitute. You don't know that. But he got pissed off at me, saying 'Oh, you kidnapped me!' It wasn't kidnapping, so if he's gonna say I kidnapped him, I'm gonna call him a male prostitute.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[exterior transition shot of the park, a dog is barking]
Woman: Shut the fuck up!
Man: Brenda, you shut the fuck up!
Woman: Shut the fuck up!
Man: Brenda, you shut the fuck up!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Ricky: The fuck was that?
Bubbles: Take a guess! What are sirens usually bolted to the roof of?
Bubbles: Take a guess! What are sirens usually bolted to the roof of?
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Alex Lifeson: Where are we?
Ricky: The fuckin' best trailer park in the goddamn world, right here. Good people, good friends, and we're gonna see a little show. Look, the first thing I want to do is to make it clear, this is not kidnapping, okay?
Alex Lifeson: This is totally kidnapping.
Ricky: This is not fuckin' kidnapping!
Alex Lifeson: This is fuckin' totally kidnapping.
Ricky: I'm borrowing you for a little bit to play a little concert back at the trailer park!
Alex Lifeson: I don't do that kind of stuff!
Ricky: Look, you're in a rock band! You should be used to this kind of shit!
Alex Lifeson: Can I tell you something? You're a fuckin' mental case!
Ricky: What the fuck are you talkin' about?
Alex Lifeson: You are crazy!
Ricky: It's not my fault you're this big fuckin'...
Alex Lifeson: You're gonna go to jail for a long time for this.
Ricky: No, I'm not going to fuckin' jail, believe me. This isn't kidnapping. I'm borrowing you for a little bit, alright?
Bubbles: Oh, no big deal at all. Ricky just went and "stole" a human being!
Ricky: It's like a little rehearsal. You play a couple of songs then you can go back to your little dreamworld or wherever the fuck it is you do with yourself all the time, playing your fuckin' big guitar in front of people.
Ricky: The fuckin' best trailer park in the goddamn world, right here. Good people, good friends, and we're gonna see a little show. Look, the first thing I want to do is to make it clear, this is not kidnapping, okay?
Alex Lifeson: This is totally kidnapping.
Ricky: This is not fuckin' kidnapping!
Alex Lifeson: This is fuckin' totally kidnapping.
Ricky: I'm borrowing you for a little bit to play a little concert back at the trailer park!
Alex Lifeson: I don't do that kind of stuff!
Ricky: Look, you're in a rock band! You should be used to this kind of shit!
Alex Lifeson: Can I tell you something? You're a fuckin' mental case!
Ricky: What the fuck are you talkin' about?
Alex Lifeson: You are crazy!
Ricky: It's not my fault you're this big fuckin'...
Alex Lifeson: You're gonna go to jail for a long time for this.
Ricky: No, I'm not going to fuckin' jail, believe me. This isn't kidnapping. I'm borrowing you for a little bit, alright?
Bubbles: Oh, no big deal at all. Ricky just went and "stole" a human being!
Ricky: It's like a little rehearsal. You play a couple of songs then you can go back to your little dreamworld or wherever the fuck it is you do with yourself all the time, playing your fuckin' big guitar in front of people.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Julian: Hey, buddy.
Ricky: Julian! I came through, buddy! Where's Bubbles?
Julian: He's at the vet. Don't tell me you got tickets...
Ricky: I got better than tickets. Check this out.
Julian: Ricky... Ricky...This...You're from Rush.
Ricky: Yeah, it's Alex Lifeson. Alex, this is Ju... ah, Gord, uh, Downie. (to Julian) This is Alex. Hey, play 'I Like To Rock'.
Alex Lifeson: That's April Wine.
Ricky: Well, play that Diane Sawyer song! Just fuckin' play somethin'!
Ricky: Julian! I came through, buddy! Where's Bubbles?
Julian: He's at the vet. Don't tell me you got tickets...
Ricky: I got better than tickets. Check this out.
Julian: Ricky... Ricky...This...You're from Rush.
Ricky: Yeah, it's Alex Lifeson. Alex, this is Ju... ah, Gord, uh, Downie. (to Julian) This is Alex. Hey, play 'I Like To Rock'.
Alex Lifeson: That's April Wine.
Ricky: Well, play that Diane Sawyer song! Just fuckin' play somethin'!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Julian walks Alex out to a cab]'
Julian: I'm sorry about all this shit, man.
Alex Lifeson: okay. It's alright.
Ricky: Fuck that! Don't even worry about him!
[Julian pushes Ricky back while Alex tells the cabbie where to go]
Ricky: Fuckin' shove me...
Alex Lifeson: (to cabbie) I'm going downtown.
Ricky: You got enough money? Here's another dollar thirty-six there, dicktree!
[Ricky throws the coins at his feet, Julian helps him pick it up]
Alex Lifeson: I can't believe I'm picking this stuff up!
Ricky: Just get the fuck out of here, wouldja?!
Julian: You fucked up big time!
[Alex gives Ricky the finger as the cab drives off]
Ricky: (to Alex) Yeah, fuck off!
Julian: Ricky, Ricky, don't be giving him the finger!
Ricky: He fuckin' started it!
Julian: I'm sorry about all this shit, man.
Alex Lifeson: okay. It's alright.
Ricky: Fuck that! Don't even worry about him!
[Julian pushes Ricky back while Alex tells the cabbie where to go]
Ricky: Fuckin' shove me...
Alex Lifeson: (to cabbie) I'm going downtown.
Ricky: You got enough money? Here's another dollar thirty-six there, dicktree!
[Ricky throws the coins at his feet, Julian helps him pick it up]
Alex Lifeson: I can't believe I'm picking this stuff up!
Ricky: Just get the fuck out of here, wouldja?!
Julian: You fucked up big time!
[Alex gives Ricky the finger as the cab drives off]
Ricky: (to Alex) Yeah, fuck off!
Julian: Ricky, Ricky, don't be giving him the finger!
Ricky: He fuckin' started it!
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Alex Lifeson: Sorry, Randy? I got this t-shirt for you to wear tonight on stage, during the guitar changes?
Randy: No thanks, Alex. I don't wear shirts.
Alex Lifeson: Oh, no. You gotta wear a shirt. Please.
Randy: Never do.
Mr. Lahey: Randy doesn't wear shirts, Mr. Lifeson. That's just the way it is.
Alex Lifeson: Well, Mr. Lahey, maybe you can talk him into wearing this shirt.
Mr. Lahey: He doesn't wear shirts, not even in the winter time.
Randy: No thanks, Alex. I don't wear shirts.
Alex Lifeson: Oh, no. You gotta wear a shirt. Please.
Randy: Never do.
Mr. Lahey: Randy doesn't wear shirts, Mr. Lifeson. That's just the way it is.
Alex Lifeson: Well, Mr. Lahey, maybe you can talk him into wearing this shirt.
Mr. Lahey: He doesn't wear shirts, not even in the winter time.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
[Alex is in his dressing room, playing Red Barchetta]
Ricky: What the fuck are you doing wearing my clothes?
Alex Lifeson: Oh, not this asshole again! What are you doing with my clothes?! (to Julian) I thought we had a deal here! No cops?
Ricky: Just give me back my fuckin' clothes.
[Randy walks into the room and sees Ricky, Julian and Bubbles]
Randy: Alex, we're on in four...
Alex Lifeson: Oh, great.
Randy: I'm fuckin' tellin'!
[Randy runs out of the room]
Ricky: You fuckin' asshole!
Randy: Mr. Lahey! Bubbles, Julian and Ricky snuck back in!
Ricky: Fuckin' dicks...
Alex Lifeson: Guys, please. Gimme a break, here. I gotta get back on stage, I gotta get out of these stupid track pants and into my clothes right now!
Ricky: What the fuck's wrong with track pants?
Ricky: What the fuck are you doing wearing my clothes?
Alex Lifeson: Oh, not this asshole again! What are you doing with my clothes?! (to Julian) I thought we had a deal here! No cops?
Ricky: Just give me back my fuckin' clothes.
[Randy walks into the room and sees Ricky, Julian and Bubbles]
Randy: Alex, we're on in four...
Alex Lifeson: Oh, great.
Randy: I'm fuckin' tellin'!
[Randy runs out of the room]
Ricky: You fuckin' asshole!
Randy: Mr. Lahey! Bubbles, Julian and Ricky snuck back in!
Ricky: Fuckin' dicks...
Alex Lifeson: Guys, please. Gimme a break, here. I gotta get back on stage, I gotta get out of these stupid track pants and into my clothes right now!
Ricky: What the fuck's wrong with track pants?
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Julian: Randy, a lot of barbecues look alike. You're probably on drugs or confused or something like you usually are.
TV Show: Trailer Park Boys