White Collar Quotes

Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: If my uncle were a woman, well, he'd be my auntie.

Movie: White Collar
Det. Joe Hill: [Joe and Harriet meet Father Michael on the beach] So you do this every Wednesday?
Father Michael Connelly: Yeah, all weather, all year 'round. I just show up, the boys are referred by the parole officers.
Det. Joe Hill: You just teach them how to surf?
Father Michael Connelly: Yeah, well, I teach them self-esteem, cooperation, appreciation of small things. [points to one of the boys]
Father Michael Connelly: There's Brendan. Eight months ago he was in prison for assault, break and enter, stealing. Now he's got a job, pays his rent...
Det. Harriet Walker: Goes to Church?
Father Michael Connelly: Well, Rome wasn't built in a day.
Det. Joe Hill: Brendan McTierney.
Father Michael Connelly: You know him?
Det. Joe Hill: Put him away.

Movie: White Collar
Det. Joe Hill: [Kaz shows up at the station without notice] What the hell are you doing here?
Kaz: You've got to tell her sooner or later...
Det. Joe Hill: Who?
Kaz: Harriet! She's my best friend and I can't keep lying to her.
Det. Joe Hill: It's not lying, it's just...
Kaz: Not telling her a goddamn thing!
Det. Joe Hill: Yeah, well, I'm just trying to keep my private life private.
Kaz: Well, she's starting to ask questions.
Det. Joe Hill: Alright then, I'll tell her.
Kaz: Thank you.
Det. Joe Hill: I just need to find the right moment... you know how sensitive Harriet can be.
Kaz: Oh, geez, Joe...
Det. Joe Hill: What am I supposed to do? Walk up to her, crying, and say 'Look, here's the bad news, this guy's been hit in the head with an axe... but the good news is I'm screwing your mate!'
Kaz: Works for me.

Movie: White Collar
Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: [holds up set of keys] Could you please drop these off to my mum?
Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: I'd rather stick needles in my eye.
Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: Come on, just throw them at her and run.
Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: I will. [takes keys begrudginly]

Movie: White Collar
Peter: [speaking to the prison warden] I know I spent three years of my life chasing him, and you let him walk out the front door.

TV Show: White Collar
Peter: I work hard. I do my job well. And I don't have a ten million dollar view of Manhattan that I share with a 22 year old art student while we sip espresso!
Neal: Why not?
Peter: Why not?! Because I'm not supposed to. The amount of work I do equals certain things in the real world. Not cappuccino in the clouds.
Neal: Look, I will find out where June buys her coffee if it's that important.
Peter: It's not about the coffee.
Neal: I think it is.
Peter: No it's not. [pause] This is what gets you into trouble. This is the start of those something-for-nothing schemes that lead to the frauds that got you locked up.
Neal: I think it's some sort of Italian roast.
Peter: Get in the car.

TV Show: White Collar
[Neal is trying to help Peter with plans for his anniversary.]
Peter: No, you don't get to lecture me about relationships. My wife didn't change her identity and flee the country to get away from me. [Neal looks stricken.] That was harsh, I didn't mean that.
Neal: Yeah you did. [Peter doesn't argue.] Did she really flee the country?
Peter: I don't know.
Neal: France, did she go to France?
Peter: I don't know!

TV Show: White Collar
Neal: You only know the guys that get caught. They're the second best criminals.
Peter: What's that say about you?
Neal: It says that there's an exception to every rule.

TV Show: White Collar
Neal: No, Peter, menacing. You look like someone whose kid just struck out.

TV Show: White Collar
[a known criminal knocks on the door of a FBI stake-out van]
Man: Are you the FBI?
Jones: Yes?

TV Show: White Collar
[Neal shows up at Peter's house in the middle of the night]
Peter: This had better be good.
Neal: I took the painting. [Peter glares at him] I wasn't gonna... [Peter holds up his hand] I did it for... [Peter stops him again] We can use it to catch Dorsette, he doesn't know I work for you.
Peter: We'll set it up tomorrow. Now get the hell out of my house.
Neal: [leaving] Goodnight, Elizabeth.
Elle: Goodnight, Neal. [walks over to Peter] Well, he told you the truth about the painting.
Peter: Because they threatened Trayn.
Elle: It's a step.
Peter: Yeah, it's a step.

TV Show: White Collar
[Neal and Peter are looking through a warehouse]
Neal: I think I just saw the Ark of the Covenant back there.
Peter: If my face melts, let me know.

TV Show: White Collar
[Peter is pacing angrily]
Neal: I never lied to Peter.
Elle: You did leave a few things out.
Neal: You don't understand; I have to find Kate.
Elle: My husband desperately wants to trust you and you keep giving him reasons not to. You're on your own on this one, Neal.
Neal: No, wait, please don't go. [Elle stands up and leaves]
Neal: [to Peter] Now what?
Peter: Now I wouldn't take you off this case if I could.

TV Show: White Collar
Peter: Hello, Kate.
Kate: Hello, Peter. [turns on light]
Peter: We need to talk about Neal.

TV Show: White Collar
Neal: [about his mugshot] I never liked this picture.
Peter: It's not that bad.
Neal: It's better than my driver's license.
Peter: Which one? You have several. [Neal looks at him] Okay, one crime at a time.

TV Show: White Collar
[Neal and Mozzie are playing chess and Mozzie compares Neal's life to the chess game with Kate as the queen and Neal as a pawn]
Mozzie: I'm the bishop in case you were wondering.
Neal: I wasn't.
Mozzie: Ok.

TV Show: White Collar
Neal: Aw, you're not comfortable around the six year old.
Peter: I don't speak their language.
Neal: I do?
Peter: Yeah, you do. Come on, Peter Pan.

TV Show: White Collar
Peter: Ok, we stop the judge from taking the Sullivan home. Then we get her disrobed. [Neal raises his eyebrows] You know what I meant... If we lean on her hard enough, she'll flip on Fowler. [Neal smirks and walks away] You know what I meant! ...That's not what I meant...

TV Show: White Collar
[Neal forges Peter's signature perfectly]
Peter: How did you do that?
Neal: Well, your hand is programmed over years to write letters a certain way. Try to mimic someone else's, and your style will always creep in. But, turn the signature upside down and it becomes nothing more than a drawing, all you have to do is copy the lines. The preconceptions about letters go away and you have a perfect signature.
Peter: That's a neat trick. Don't ever copy mine again.
Neal: Never again.
Peter: You have copied my signature.
Neal: Let's... focus on the crime at hand.

TV Show: White Collar
Elizabeth: I don't think he bugged the dog.
Moz: Amateur.

TV Show: White Collar
Peter: She's taking advantage of the system.
Neal: I hate when people take advantage of the system. Now... that I work for the system, of course.

TV Show: White Collar
Mozzie: A New Yorker who does not take the subway is not a New Yorker you can trust.
Neal: I don't take the subway.
Mozzie: Precisely.

TV Show: White Collar
Neal: You do realize you have to flirt with her for the rest of the afternoon now, right? Should be a fun story to tell Elizabeth over breakfast.

TV Show: White Collar
Elizabeth: Honey?
Peter: Yeah?
Elizabeth: What is this?
Peter: I was going to talk to you about that... That is part of an undercover job I was working. And part of the cover was that I had to talk to another woman.
Elizabeth: Must have been quite the conversationalist.
Peter: I had to flirt with her so Neal could get closer to the target.
Elizabeth: Isn't it usually the other way around?
Peter: She chose me.
Elizabeth: You had to seduce another woman?
Peter: No! No! I just had drinks with her. Nothing happened El, I swear! Are you laughing? You're laughing.
Elizabeth: You had to flirt? You hate flirting!

TV Show: White Collar
Neal: Out of all the people in my life—Mozzie, even Kate, you know—you're the only one.
Peter: "The only one," what?
Neal: The only person in my life I trust.

TV Show: White Collar
[Peter has a surveillance tape of Neal sneaking into a building]
Neal: [drugged and loopy] You stole that for me?
Peter: Yeah. It's a regular Kodak moment.

TV Show: White Collar
[Neal has indicated that Peter is no longer a welcome house guest]
Peter: Is this because I ran prints on Alex?
Neal: It's for so many reasons.

TV Show: White Collar
[Peter arrives at Neal's apartment to find Alex and Mozzie there too]
Peter: Look at this, all the usual suspects in the same place; makes my job much easier. What are you kids up to?
Alex: We were just leaving.
Peter: I'm sure you were.
[Mozzie and Alex leave]
Peter: You met with Fowler and now Alex and your little buddy are here: you've got your whole crew together to steal the box. Tell me I'm wrong.
Neal: [shrugs] You're wrong?
Peter: I don't understand you. I gave you something good here and you're about to blow it. I gave you a shot at a better life.
Neal: It's not the life I want.
Peter: We all have our weaknesses. Kate's yours.

TV Show: White Collar
Mozzie: "We feel free when we escape—even if it be but from the frying pan into the fire." [Cuts Neal's anklet] No sirens.
Neal: Into the fire then.

TV Show: White Collar
Neal: Hell hath no fury like a fed scorned.

TV Show: White Collar