The Raccoons Quotes
Cyril: (singing) Barley, barley, huck and rye, that's the way we aardvarks fly! Some fly east and some fly west, and some fly over the cuckoo's nest!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: You screamed sir?
Cyril: What are you pork pies doing, trying to make spectacles of yourselves?
Pig Two: Oh no sir, they're for reading Mudman Comics!
Cyril: Reading comics on the job eh? Well read my lips. Deliver these boxes to Willow's store. N-O-W. NOW!
Cyril: What are you pork pies doing, trying to make spectacles of yourselves?
Pig Two: Oh no sir, they're for reading Mudman Comics!
Cyril: Reading comics on the job eh? Well read my lips. Deliver these boxes to Willow's store. N-O-W. NOW!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Melissa: (To Bert and Cedric) You two look like you just lost your best friend.
Cedric: Oh, things just aren't going so good that's all.
Ralph: Well, now I know what they mean when they say skateboarding's a downhill sport!
Cedric: Oh, things just aren't going so good that's all.
Ralph: Well, now I know what they mean when they say skateboarding's a downhill sport!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Don't forget to switch at the halfway mark, don't take your eyes off the course, and don't lose!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: This looks like a pretty tough course Bert.
Bert: Don't worry Cedric! Look! I brought you my lucky sweater!
Cedric: Gee, thanks Bert. Er, how do you tell the difference?
Bert: They're all lucky!
Bert: Don't worry Cedric! Look! I brought you my lucky sweater!
Cedric: Gee, thanks Bert. Er, how do you tell the difference?
Bert: They're all lucky!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: (on the intercom) Pigs! It's time we fix that phantom's wagon. You three get over to that theatre, find the phantom and get rid of it! I'm going to be part of Knox's big deal, even if it kills me!
Pig Three: Hm! He means even if it kills us!
Pig Three: Hm! He means even if it kills us!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Okay Broo, we've got one super dooper spook sensitive tape recorder!
Pig Two: Two garlands of garlic to stave off evil spirits!
Bert: An XL 3-33 special phanotom camera filter!
Pig Three: Four wooden stakes to drive through the hearts of vampires!
Bert: A five pound bag of flour for the old 'throw the flour on the ectoplasm' routine!
Pig One: And a slick vacuum to suck up ghostly apparitions - it says so in the guarantee!
Bert: I tell you Broo - we have the will, we have he technology, and soon we'll have the phantom!
Pig Two: Two garlands of garlic to stave off evil spirits!
Bert: An XL 3-33 special phanotom camera filter!
Pig Three: Four wooden stakes to drive through the hearts of vampires!
Bert: A five pound bag of flour for the old 'throw the flour on the ectoplasm' routine!
Pig One: And a slick vacuum to suck up ghostly apparitions - it says so in the guarantee!
Bert: I tell you Broo - we have the will, we have he technology, and soon we'll have the phantom!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Bert Raccoon, ace reporter and super sleuth is on the case! Now, what do we know?
Cedric: Nothing.
Bert: Nothing... excellent! We can start with a clean slate!
Cedric: Nothing.
Bert: Nothing... excellent! We can start with a clean slate!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Barbara LaFrum: Cyril Sneer.
Cyril: Barbara LaFrum!? What do you want?
Barbara LaFrum: I want truth, I want justice and I want fair play.
Cyril: It's just up the road!
Cyril: Barbara LaFrum!? What do you want?
Barbara LaFrum: I want truth, I want justice and I want fair play.
Cyril: It's just up the road!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: I don't see the boss anywhere.
Pig Two: It's Barbara Whatshername - quick, take cover guys!
Pig One: I don't think she saw us. If the boss finds out we set him up with that barracuda, he'll feed us to the sharks!
Cyril: (Bursts out of hiding in a crate) BOSS? Miserable pig slops! I oughta...
Barbara LaFrum: You'll ought to what Mr Sneer?
Pig Two: It's Barbara Whatshername - quick, take cover guys!
Pig One: I don't think she saw us. If the boss finds out we set him up with that barracuda, he'll feed us to the sharks!
Cyril: (Bursts out of hiding in a crate) BOSS? Miserable pig slops! I oughta...
Barbara LaFrum: You'll ought to what Mr Sneer?
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Bert: (Crestfallen) Heh. A buck fifty. I raised a buck fifty.
Ralph: And it was very nice of you to lend her the money Bert!
Bert: A buck fifty! I paid more for my pet lizard!
Ralph: And it was very nice of you to lend her the money Bert!
Bert: A buck fifty! I paid more for my pet lizard!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Melissa: All we want are a few details.
Pig One: We can't tell you anything. This is top secret! Strictly need-to-know basis.
Pig Two: And the boss says you don't need to know anything!
Pig Three: As a matter of fact, we don't even know what you don't need to know!
Ralph: I see a career in politics for these three.
Pig One: We can't tell you anything. This is top secret! Strictly need-to-know basis.
Pig Two: And the boss says you don't need to know anything!
Pig Three: As a matter of fact, we don't even know what you don't need to know!
Ralph: I see a career in politics for these three.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: That guy has no respect for the press! Something smells in the Rotco corporation!
Melissa: Well then, we just have to get in there and sniff out the story. Let me try my feminine wiles!
Melissa: Well then, we just have to get in there and sniff out the story. Let me try my feminine wiles!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Wow! That was some fun, huh Cedric?
Cedric: Yeah, that wasn't so bad. But there's a big difference between ten feet and... ten thousand feet!
Bert: Ah, only a couple of zeros!
Cedric: Yeah, that wasn't so bad. But there's a big difference between ten feet and... ten thousand feet!
Bert: Ah, only a couple of zeros!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Boy, this is one birthday present you'll never forget, huh Cedric?
Cedric: Yeah... if I live to remember.
Cedric: Yeah... if I live to remember.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Good work boys! Put it in the vault!
Pig Three: "Good work"? He's never said that before!
Pig One: We've never done that before!
Pig Three: "Good work"? He's never said that before!
Pig One: We've never done that before!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cedric: I did it Pop! I jumped! Did you see it?
Cyril: I sure did son! But if you don't mind, I'd rather not see it again!
Cyril: I sure did son! But if you don't mind, I'd rather not see it again!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: When it comes to spending my money, I'm a careful man. I've only made three mistakes in my entire life.
Milton Midas: Really? What were they?
Milton Midas: Really? What were they?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: I can't stay here! This is a hospital!
Nurse Peck: My, my! For someone who is so cold we are hot under the collar aren't we?
Nurse Peck: My, my! For someone who is so cold we are hot under the collar aren't we?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Bert: Wow! Ralph, it's here! It finally came!
Ralph: Er, what's finally here Bert?
Bert: Oh I ordered this months ago, I thought it was never going to come! A Silver Silhouette remote bomber! And with this remote control, I can make it do loops, dives, barrel rolls! Why, it can do practically anything!
Ralph: Can it make a pizza crust?
Ralph: Er, what's finally here Bert?
Bert: Oh I ordered this months ago, I thought it was never going to come! A Silver Silhouette remote bomber! And with this remote control, I can make it do loops, dives, barrel rolls! Why, it can do practically anything!
Ralph: Can it make a pizza crust?
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Ralph: Looks like the bomber had a change in orders Bert!
Bert: Ralph... I've been ripped off!
Bert: Ralph... I've been ripped off!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Cyril: Wait, couldn't I just take a written test on this one?
Nurse Peck: No, no, this is more like a screen test!
Nurse Peck: No, no, this is more like a screen test!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Nurse Peck: You're not hiding from me, are you Mr Sneer?
Cyril: Hiding? No! Just trying to stay out of your way!
Cyril: Hiding? No! Just trying to stay out of your way!
TV Show: The Raccoons
Nurse Peck: (Preparing a syringe) Now Mr Sneer, this should help.
Danny: I get three needles a day. I don't even think about it. I just think about, you know, good stuff.
Nurse Peck: Now there's a good idea. Try that Mr Sneer.
Cyril: (As he gets the injection) Well there is money and gold and stocks. Bonds are nice too, and corporate takeovers.
Danny: I get three needles a day. I don't even think about it. I just think about, you know, good stuff.
Nurse Peck: Now there's a good idea. Try that Mr Sneer.
Cyril: (As he gets the injection) Well there is money and gold and stocks. Bonds are nice too, and corporate takeovers.
TV Show: The Raccoons
Ralph: Good news Bert! I got the name of the president of the company who sells the remote bomber!
Melissa: And from everything we could find out about this guy, he's a real weasel!
Ralph: His name is Milton Midas.
Milton Midas (on the TV) Milton Midas here, your man of a million miraculous minor steals! This fabulous Midas forest has just become available and it's gotta go friends, take a look at the Midas workmanship on these Midas trees, solid Midas wood, so run, walk or crawl down here tomorrow for the auctioning off of these incredible Midas acres! Just who am I to be offering such a dynamite Midas deal? Well, I'm the man with the golden touch - Mr Milton Midas!
Bert: Milton Midas?
Ralph: I know. Isn't television great?
Melissa: And from everything we could find out about this guy, he's a real weasel!
Ralph: His name is Milton Midas.
Milton Midas (on the TV) Milton Midas here, your man of a million miraculous minor steals! This fabulous Midas forest has just become available and it's gotta go friends, take a look at the Midas workmanship on these Midas trees, solid Midas wood, so run, walk or crawl down here tomorrow for the auctioning off of these incredible Midas acres! Just who am I to be offering such a dynamite Midas deal? Well, I'm the man with the golden touch - Mr Milton Midas!
Bert: Milton Midas?
Ralph: I know. Isn't television great?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Pig One: Oh no! We forgot to close the land deal!
Pig Three: Madcap millionaires, the party's not over!
Pig Two: Oh, the party's over alright!
Pig One: Never mind our lives!
Pig Three: Oh golly gosh gee whiz, have I missed something?
Pig Three: Madcap millionaires, the party's not over!
Pig Two: Oh, the party's over alright!
Pig One: Never mind our lives!
Pig Three: Oh golly gosh gee whiz, have I missed something?
TV Show: The Raccoons
Danny: Mr Sneer! What are you doing?
Cyril: I'm checking out.
Danny: Why?
Cyril: Because they want to operate on me, that's why.
Danny: Are you chicken?
Cyril: Listen kid, you have any idea what those doctors do to you?
Danny: Oh sure. I've had operations before.
Cyril: You have?
Danny: Yeah. And they're not all that bad. Well, the first time is always a bit scary. I guess I wasn't that brave but...
Cyril: I'm checking out.
Danny: Why?
Cyril: Because they want to operate on me, that's why.
Danny: Are you chicken?
Cyril: Listen kid, you have any idea what those doctors do to you?
Danny: Oh sure. I've had operations before.
Cyril: You have?
Danny: Yeah. And they're not all that bad. Well, the first time is always a bit scary. I guess I wasn't that brave but...
TV Show: The Raccoons
Danny: If you're brave enough to climb out there, you're brave enough to handle and operation! Trust me.
TV Show: The Raccoons