SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes

Barnacle Boy: You've lost, Mermaid Man, and the Superhero/Supervillain Rulebook says you have to give in to my demands!
Mermaid Man: Okay. What do you want?
Man-Ray: World domination! Tell him we want world domination!
Dirty Bubble: Oh, and make him eat dirt, hmm hmm! [Man-Ray looks at him questioningly] In addition to the domination thing...
Barnacle Boy: Number one, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Number two, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three...
Man-Ray: Come on, domination...
Barnacle Boy: I want an adult-size Krabby Patty.
Dirty Bubble: ...Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt?

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: Holy oil spill, It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch nemesis, Man Ray and The Dirty Bubble!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mermaid Man: Who wants to save the world?
SpongeBob: I do!
Sandy: I do.
Patrick: I do.
Squidward: I don't.
Mr. Krabs: Oh yes you do. No world means no money. Now go save the world, or you're fired!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mermaid Man: A double scoop of prune with bran sprinkles. Hmmm! [KA-BRAN!] Goes right through me every time.

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Mermaid Man is introducing SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and Squidward to the original costumes of the International Justice League of Super Acquaintances]
Mermaid Man: Once you put on these costume, their fantastic powers will become yours.
Sandy: Wow, I didn't think superpowers worked that way.
Mermaid Man: Sure! Power's all in the costume! Why else would we run around in colored undies?
Squidward: I can think of three good reasons.

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Barnacle Boy: I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
The Chief: It seems we have some information on the werabouts of Evil.
Patrick: The whosa'bouts of what?

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Barnacle Boy: I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil.
SpongeBob: Evil??
Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy: Evil?? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM)
Mermaidman: EVIL!!!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Barnacle Boy: I'm crossing over to the dark side! (points to dark side of Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: Why should I waste money lighting the whole store?

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob and Patrick start punching. The class cheers, and then stops. SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting, but not touching each other]
Fish: This is embarassing. [crowd disperses]
Mrs. Puff: [picks up SpongeBob and Patrick by their heads] What's going on here?
Patrick: SpongeBob and I were fighting.
Mrs. Puff: [gasps] Fighting? Spongebob Squarepants, I can't believe I'm saying this but, you and your friend are sentenced...to detention!
SpongeBob: Detention?!
Mrs. Puff: May Neptune have mercy on your souls! [zooms out, to reveal that Mrs. Puff was shining a flashlight at her face, she turns the flashlight off]

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Spongebob is twitching in pain and has his head down on his desk after Mrs. Puff dramatically pulls one of his good noodle stars off the board]
Patrick: Mrs. Puff, is it nap time?

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU A STUPID STAR!
Patrick: I'M SORRY I GOT YOU IN TROUBLE AND GOT YOU MOVED TO THE BACK OF THE CLASS AND GOT YOUR GOOD NOODLE STAR REMOVED AND SHOT THE SPITBALLS--
SpongeBob: I'M SORRY YOUR APOLOGY IS SO LONG!
Patrick: ME TOO! LET'S SAVE ROGER!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mrs Puff: Come on now, tell the class your name. Don’t be nervous. (Patrick gets nervous) We just want to know your name. (Patrick gets more nervous)
Patrick: 24!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: (Holding in laughter) Patrick
Patrick: (Also holding in laughter) What
SpongeBob: I thought of something funnier then 24
Patrick: Let me hear it
Spongebob: 25

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Psst, Spongebob. (grunts as he throws a piece of waded up paper at Spongebob) Psst, Spongebob! (throws a book at Spongebob) Spongebob? (spits a bunch of spitballs on Spongebob's face) Spongebob? Psst, over here. I'm trying to tell you something. Something important.
Spongebob: What?
Patrick: Hi.

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Poor Mr. Krabs, gone forever out of our lives... [crying] Why couldn't it have been me?!
Squidward: [crying] Yes, why couldn't it have been you?!
SpongeBob: Why did he have to go like this, why?!
Squidward: Why did he have to go like this and leave me tied to this idiot?!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: SpongeBob, come over here. Have you noticed that Mr. Krabs has gone COMPLETELY INSANE?!
SpongeBob: What do you mean?
Squidward: Just look at him! [Mr. Krabs is shown crying upon a grave that says "R.I.P. Me Millionth Dollar"]
SpongeBob: Squidward, he's lost something near and dear to him, haven't you- [is interrupted by Mr. Krabs' maniacal laugh]
Squidward: Look again. [Mr. Krabs is shown pulling out his eyes and using them as a skipping rope, laughing crazily]
SpongeBob: [scared] You're right. How do we get out of here!?

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [to his pet rock at the race track] Don't worry Rocky. Take your time.

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Announcer: And what a beautiful day for this sport of kings of which I am a huge fan... Seriously, I'm just a fan. I was on my way to my seat, the door was open--
Perch Perkins: Hey, what are you doing?! [the fan runs out, Perch chuckles] Sorry about that, folks.

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: Snelly's a purebred
Patrick: Wow, a snail made out of bread!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Patrick, your snail is a rock.
Patrick: Yeah, thanks, I know. He's got nerves of steel.

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: Talk to me.
Mailman: Package, sir.
Squidward: [looks at the package] Oh boy, it's finally here. Thank you.
Mailman: No, thank you Mr. uh... "Tennisballs."
Squidward: That's "Tentacles"! [slams door]
SpongeBob: Squidward's last name is "Tentacles"?
Patrick: Poor guy...

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Well I guess I can't enter Gary in that (the Bikini Bottom Snail Race)? Sunday's laundry day.
Squidward: No, you can't enter Gary because he's a mutt.
[Gary is seen in the appearance of a hillbilly]
SpongeBob: Yeah, you got that right. Gary's no-- Hey! What makes you think Gary can't compete?
Squidward: Papers. [holds up his snail's certificate]
Patrick: [reads the certificate] Hmm... "Property of Squidward...Tentpoles."
Squidward: THAT'S TENNISBALLS! I mean TENTACLES!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [in a personal trainer uniform] Looks like we're going to start our training now, ladies. [laughs] I call you a lady to humiliate and demean you. It's a motivational tool we coaches use.
[Cut to Sandy walking down a road. She suddenly halts and looks confused]
Sandy: Hmm, I don't know why, but I think I'll kick SpongeBob's butt tomorrow.

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Oh Gary, I'm sorry! Why didn't you tell me I was pushing you too hard?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: You did? Oh Gary, why didn't you tell me I wasn't listening?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: You did?

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Don't worry, Squidward. I know how much you wanted to win, so I had the trophy engraved to you.
Squidward: Gosh Patrick, thanks. [reads the inscription] "The First Place Snail Racing Cup Presented To Squidward...TORTELLINI?" Will I ever win?
[They all laugh; then Sandy appears and kicks SpongeBob's backside, sending him flying out of the stadium in doing so]
Sandy: THAT'S FOR YESTERDAY, SQUAREPANTS!
Police Officer: That's it, girl. you're going to jail
Sandy: Wait. WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: Look Squidward! Money!
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I can't believe I'm saying this, but how could you trade SpongeBob for 62 cents?!
Mr. Krabs: You think I could've gotten more?

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Wait just a burger-flipping second. (Flying Dutchman turns around)
Flying Dutchman: Who dares back-sass the Flying Dutchman?
SpongeBob: That would be me: SpongeBob BacksassPants.

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Hey, Sandy, watch me do the Grouchy Squidward.
Squidward: Stop naming moves after me.
SpongeBob: [imitating Squidward] Everyone's an idiot except for me!
Squidward: Well it's true. [drinks tea]

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sandy: [yelling] Spongebob, land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of the fall!
Spongebob: [takes pants off while falling] Like this?
Patrick: [yelling] No, your other bottom!
Sandy: [to Patrick] Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until four.
[SpongeBob lands hard on the ground and breaks his butt into a thousand pieces.]
Sandy: Ohhh...that's gotta hurt!
Patrick: [turns head back] Do it again, I wasn't looking!

TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants