Only Fools and Horses Quotes
Del Boy: It's been so long that Rodney had a bit on the side, he didn't know they'd moved it.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Rodney: I'm gonna do what Monica was doing last night!
Del Boy: Going dancing with Mickey Pearce?
Del Boy: Going dancing with Mickey Pearce?
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Rodney: It looked all right from the outside.
Del Boy: It looked all right from the outside? That's what the Christians said about the Colosseum!
Del Boy: It looked all right from the outside? That's what the Christians said about the Colosseum!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Grandad: (watching TV) That Sidney Potter's a good actor, ain't he Rodney? He was marvellous in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner.
Rodney: Yeah knock out Grandad. Sidney Potter?
Grandad: Yeah, you know him. Always plays the black fella.
Rodney: Sidney Potier!
Grandad: Sidney Potter.
Rodney: Yeah knock out Grandad. Sidney Potter?
Grandad: Yeah, you know him. Always plays the black fella.
Rodney: Sidney Potier!
Grandad: Sidney Potter.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: Are you two at it again?
Rodney: Del. How do you pronounce that fella's name on the telly? Sidney Poitier or Potter?
Del Boy: Personally, I'd pronounce it Harry Belafonte, but you two please yourselves.
Rodney: Del. How do you pronounce that fella's name on the telly? Sidney Poitier or Potter?
Del Boy: Personally, I'd pronounce it Harry Belafonte, but you two please yourselves.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: (to Rodney) What are you doing?
Rodney: Our accounts.
Del Boy: You keeping accounts now?! (to Grandad) Well, there you are Grandad. A lot of people said I was a right dipstick to make my brother a partner in the business. But this only goes to prove how bloody right they were!
Rodney: Our accounts.
Del Boy: You keeping accounts now?! (to Grandad) Well, there you are Grandad. A lot of people said I was a right dipstick to make my brother a partner in the business. But this only goes to prove how bloody right they were!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: I grafted 19 or 20 hours a day to put groceries on that table, alright it wasn't always double legal but you ate the finest food that was going.
Rodney: All you use to give me was TV dinners or convienience food, if it wasn't frozen or dehydrated we didn't eat it. If you had been in charge of The last supper it would have been a take away.
Del Boy: Well anything was better than the salmonella and chips that Grandad used to knock up!
Rodney: All you use to give me was TV dinners or convienience food, if it wasn't frozen or dehydrated we didn't eat it. If you had been in charge of The last supper it would have been a take away.
Del Boy: Well anything was better than the salmonella and chips that Grandad used to knock up!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: (trying to explain to Rodney why Trotters Independent Traders never pays taxes) We don't pay V.A.T, we don't pay income tax or national insurance. On the other hand, we don't claim dole money, social security, supplementary benefit... The government don't give us nothing, so we don't give the government nothing.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Rodney: (when Rodney first meets Trigger) Why do they call him Trigger? Does he carry a gun?
Del Boy: No. It's because he looks like a horse.
Del Boy: No. It's because he looks like a horse.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: You know what happened to the real Trigger don't you? Roy Rogers had him stuffed.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Grandad: (to Rodney about Del) Your dad always said that one day Del Boy would reach the top, then again he always used to say that one day Millwall would win the cup!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Rodney: I saw myself more in the capacity of a financial advisor.
Del Boy: A financial advisor?! Bonjour Trieste! You are beautiful, you are, Rodney! Today, I almost clinched a deal to buy these briefcases for £175. When my "financial advisor" stuck his nose in, and advised me to pay £200. Right? And now, having paid the £200, my "financial advisor" now advises me to chuck the bleedin' lot in the river! Now, with financial advisors like that, who needs a bleedin' RECESSION?
Del Boy: A financial advisor?! Bonjour Trieste! You are beautiful, you are, Rodney! Today, I almost clinched a deal to buy these briefcases for £175. When my "financial advisor" stuck his nose in, and advised me to pay £200. Right? And now, having paid the £200, my "financial advisor" now advises me to chuck the bleedin' lot in the river! Now, with financial advisors like that, who needs a bleedin' RECESSION?
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: Do you hear that?
Rodney: No, what is it?
Del Boy: That's Mum turning in her grave.
Rodney: No, what is it?
Del Boy: That's Mum turning in her grave.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Grandad: You wouldn't remember when I married your grandmother.
Del Boy: (sarcastically) No.
Del Boy: (sarcastically) No.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Michelle: (asking Rodney which tennis turf he likes playing on) What do you prefer? Astroturf or grass?
Rodney: I don't know, I've never smoked astroturf!
Rodney: I don't know, I've never smoked astroturf!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: (hurriedly, after talking to a couple of "women") Drink up, we're leaving
Rodney: Why? Are they a couple of ravers?
Del Boy: No, they're a couple of geezers!"
Rodney: Why? Are they a couple of ravers?
Del Boy: No, they're a couple of geezers!"
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Rodney: (telling Del what he has just accidentally done in the car on their way home) Del,you know that cigar packet you just gave me... I chucked out the window about a mile and a half back.
Del Boy: You what? You pranny!!!!
Del Boy: You what? You pranny!!!!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: God! I don't believe it. I just do not believe it! Now look what you've done Rodney, you've smashed up Boycie's E-Type Jaguar.
Rodney: Me? You were driving it.
Del Boy: Don't play bloody word games with me, Rodney! (shouting at the car behind) What's your game pal. What is your game, are you blind or something?
Aussie Man: I'm very sorry about that mate, but the brakes on this thing are a bit dicky... You! I've been looking for you two flaming Gollahs all day long... Now come here!
Rodney: Me? You were driving it.
Del Boy: Don't play bloody word games with me, Rodney! (shouting at the car behind) What's your game pal. What is your game, are you blind or something?
Aussie Man: I'm very sorry about that mate, but the brakes on this thing are a bit dicky... You! I've been looking for you two flaming Gollahs all day long... Now come here!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Rodney: Are you all right, Del? I thought you was in bother!
Del Boy: That's why it took you an hour and a half to come! Didn't Grandad tell you that I'd called?
Rodney: Oh yeah, he told me! "Del Boy's been captured by the Indians!" he said. I didn't know whether to call the police or the Texas Rangers!
Del Boy: That's why it took you an hour and a half to come! Didn't Grandad tell you that I'd called?
Rodney: Oh yeah, he told me! "Del Boy's been captured by the Indians!" he said. I didn't know whether to call the police or the Texas Rangers!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Mr. Rahn: (to Del and Rodney) Vimmal Malik has in his possession the one single item that remains of my birthright. It's a simple porcelain statuette of Kuvera. You know who Kuvera is?
Del Boy & Rodney: Yeah.
Del Boy: You don't know who Kuvera is!
Rodney: Well he was, er, I don't know.
Del Boy: See what I mean Mr. Rahn, he's got 2 O-Levels and he thinks he's Bamber Gascoigne's vest.
Rodney: Alright mastermind, who is he?
Del Boy: Kuvera was one of India's Premier Wicket Keepers.
Rodney: You berk!
Mr. Rahn: Kuvera is the Hindu God of Wealth.
Del Boy & Rodney: Yeah.
Del Boy: You don't know who Kuvera is!
Rodney: Well he was, er, I don't know.
Del Boy: See what I mean Mr. Rahn, he's got 2 O-Levels and he thinks he's Bamber Gascoigne's vest.
Rodney: Alright mastermind, who is he?
Del Boy: Kuvera was one of India's Premier Wicket Keepers.
Rodney: You berk!
Mr. Rahn: Kuvera is the Hindu God of Wealth.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: (during a heated argument) You had a Persian rug with more food on it than a menu!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Vimmal: Where's your watch Derek?
Del Boy: It's at the menders, I broke it last night playing you know volleyball.
Vimmal: I thought you were right-handed.
Del Boy: No, I'm ambiguous.
Del Boy: It's at the menders, I broke it last night playing you know volleyball.
Vimmal: I thought you were right-handed.
Del Boy: No, I'm ambiguous.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Mr. Rahn: If I got into my car at 9: 00 in the morning, it'd take me up to 2 in the afternoon to drive around my land.
Rodney: We had a car like that once.
Rodney: We had a car like that once.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Waiter: £2000? Why, you can get them for £17 in Portobello Road! It's amazing how much you can save if you shop around
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Rodney: No sign of Vimmal?
Del Boy: No, he packed his bags and had it away on his toes five minutes after we left! As Macbeth said to Hamlet in A Midsummer Night's Dream: "We've been done up like a couple of kippers."
Del Boy: No, he packed his bags and had it away on his toes five minutes after we left! As Macbeth said to Hamlet in A Midsummer Night's Dream: "We've been done up like a couple of kippers."
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Pauline: You never married yourself Del?
Del Boy: No, no no, I never fancied myself!
Del Boy: No, no no, I never fancied myself!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: You don't have romantic feelings, you. You just have animal urges. Sometimes I think you've learned the art of seduction by watching Wildlife on One.
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: Look at that Rodney, she's only had two husbands die on her.
Rodney: Yeah? One more and she keeps the match ball, don't she?
Rodney: Yeah? One more and she keeps the match ball, don't she?
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: My only worry is, is a 59-seater bus gonna be big enough?
Grandad: A tandem would be too big!
Grandad: A tandem would be too big!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses
Del Boy: This time next year, we'll be millionaires!
Grandad: You said that this time last year!
Grandad: You said that this time last year!
TV Show: Only Fools and Horses