Nip Tuck Quotes

Christian: There is no pro bono for boning a pro.

TV Show: Nip Tuck
Sean: I don't think it matters. Matt's fully cooked. It's too late to change the ingredients now.

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Christian: What we had was spiritual, Kimber. I made you see God everytime you came.

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Christian: They both have physical problems that need treating. What makes his face more deserving than her tits?
Sean: And you're just a goddamn Mother Teresa, Christian.

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Man at consult: The world we live in has a certain aesthetic, and you can't enjoy its privileges without conforming to a higher standard.

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Sean: Christian, this is classic body dysmorphic disorder. Look at yourself at the mirror, you are a model of physical perfection.
Christian: I know, but I can be better. I know I can. Would you tell a millionaire to stop making money?!

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Christian: There's an epidemic of obesity in this country and it's our job to exemplify a healthy alternative.
Sean: Passing on the Key Lime Pie or that second bottle of Merlot might be a more reasonable way to set an example.
Christian: Diet? [Edit] No, Sean. We’re in the quick fix biz.

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Christian: So you’ll give your night nurse a nose job but you won't give your partner some lunchtime lipo?

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Christian: How do you get that lineation in your abs there? I’ve been doing a thousand crunches a week and I can’t seem to get mine to pop like that.
Dr. Mike Hamoui: I have protein shakes for breakfast and lunch and a light dinner, and no refined sugars. And I’m in here every day.
Christian: How do you find the time?
Dr. Mike Hamoui: Well, the hour you spend watching Sports Center, I'm in here. During your forty-five minute lunch at Joe Stone Crab, I'm jogging down the Strand. Gotta make the sacrifices.
Christian: Sacrifices? You’re a goddamn physical terrorist.

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Christian: With the amount of high-calorie choices available to consumers these days and the enormous portions restaurants are shoving in your face, surgery is the only solution for some people.
Liz: Standing proud with your fat-ternity brother, Christian? You can’t hide behind those slimming scrubs anymore, Superchub. I saw the tape.
Christian: I don’t think it’s appropriate to discuss your new jerk-off material over surgery.
Liz: Oh, I didn't masturbate to your sex tape, Christian. I am not a chubby-chaser.
Christian: Oh yeah? Can you still find a cooch under that gunt? [turns to Michelle, who just entered the operationg room] Michelle, can you stop contaminating the sterile environment?

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Liz: You can sing whatever song you want to in front of them (Sean and Christian), but I will not let your gay-shame cost me my job. You know, I thought having a woman run this place was gonna make a big difference, but with you it's all espresso machines and fresh carpeting, Michelle. I am still working for a dick!

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Dr. Mike Hamoui: Aren't your partner with Sean McNamara? How come he isn't doing this for you?
Christian: We are too busy to give in-house freebies.

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Christian: [referring to Conor's birth] So he was born. He won't even remember it. [Edit] Call me when your kid needs stitches or learn how to tie a Windsor knot.

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Christian: Michelle is the kind of woman who wants to feel like a spider and I’m a helpless little fly caught in her web.
Liz: Do you think that you could teach me to be as full of shit as you are?
Christian: I thought lesbians didn’t play games. I thought it was all about cuddling and sharing of depilatory cream.

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Christian: [attempting to pick up a girl at a lesbian bar] I can munch, dive and fish better than any girl in this place. Plus I have in my possession a very life-like dildo just in case you decide to get kinky.

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Christian: [After Michelle slaps him in the face for making a pass at her] Just so you know, sweetie-pie, I’m not in to S&M.

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Christian: You and I both know you spent hours deliberating which dress in your closet best displays that world-class cleavage of yours. Since you love being a businesswoman so much, Michelle, let me give you the bottom line. You either get real with me and give in to what we’re both feeling, or sell me my business back. Although my nurses might enjoy it, I don’t like doing surgery with a hard-on.

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Christian: Your chocolate cupcakes are looking very tasty this morning, Michelle.
Liz: Oh I get it. A straight man mentions sex, it's not sexual harrassment. It's foreplay.

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Christian: I won't tell him your secret if you don't tell him mine.
Michelle: What's your secret?
Christian: That I made love to his wife before dinner.

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[Christian and James at lunch together]
Christian: The jig is up, sweetheart. It's time to take your little whore and pony show to a different city. Michelle told me about your escort ring.
James: We haven't even ordered the wine yet, Dr. Troy. Shall we share a bottle of Pinot Noir? I know we both enjoy the darker varietals.

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Christian: I don't have that kind of liquidity right now.
James: Then I suggest you melt some of your money.

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Christian: Then I have a proposition for you that might ease your pain. I'll knock down your first payment to something more manageable, say seventy-five thousand, if you throw in a hand-job. Don't be vulgar. I want a hand rejuvenation.
Christian: I thought vampires kept their looks forever.

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Dawn Budge: It is time my body matched my bank account.
Mallory Budge: If that's what you're after, you'd been skinny your whole life.

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Christian: I can vacuum you down to a skeleton, Dawn, but I can’t suck out the white trash, now, can I? You want pro-class, you’re gonna need a new face and wardrobe to go with your new body.
Dawn Budge: Are you gay, Dr. Troy?
Christian: No, but for a price, I will play Queer Eye for you.

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Sean: [referring to the ring he intends on giving to Julia] It’s a little out of my range.
Christian: You banged the night nurse, Sean.
Sean: I'll take it.

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Matt: [upon seeing Christian and Sean with a Porsche] So whose turn is it to have a mid-life crisis?

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Dawn Budge: I wanna buy one more thing, Dr. Troy. A night with you. I need Dwight to know he can’t do what he did without consequences. Basically, I want a revenge screw.
Christian: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Dawn Budge: I will pay you a hundred thousand dollars.
Christian: I wouldn't sit on the same toilet seat as you for a hundred grand.
Dawn Budge: Name your price, sexy man.
Christian: Four hundred thousand bucks gets you ten minutes. Strictly missionary, nothing kinky.
Dawn Budge: I'll throw in an extra twenty if we can do it on the rug.

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Christian: I'm doing this after hours because I don't want Michelle to know. You deal with me now.
James: You're not going to tell her the sacrifices you're making on her behalf? And they say chivalry is dead.
[edit]
Christian: [about her rejuvenated hands] How do they feel?
James: Clean. Untouched by time. If only you could do the same with my heart.

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James: I was planning on having a little more fun with you, Dr. Troy. You're cute when you squirm.

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Christian: I can't keep giving you just a part of me, and not all of me.

TV Show: Nip Tuck