Nip Tuck Quotes

Christian: [to the ghosts of his former lovers] Goodbye ladies, it's been swell.

TV Show: Nip Tuck
Dr. Mike Hamoui: [in Christian's apartment] I can still hear the screams from the women you've banged in here.

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Michelle: My sister and I used to make our own decorations. Popcorn, cotton balls for snow. Sometimes we'd take the tops off aluminum cans and punch holes through them, so the light could shine through.
Christian: From cans to crystals. You've come quite a long way, baby.
Michelle: I know, but I sorta miss making something from nothing, y’know? And the tree. We would wait til the last minute; pick up the bargain leftover. Sometimes the branches were half dead, but at least it was real.
Christian: So is this. [kisses her]

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Sean: Are you a friend of Poppy's? You know, lesbian?
Elf: I've been known to dabble. But every now and then, Santa's helper enjoys a good North Pole, if you know what I mean!

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Sean: I would have been there for you. If you'd just lost your wife and kids, I wouldn't be flying to Moscow with my fiancée over Christmas on an impulse!
Christian: We're not going anymore. We're staying put with Wilbur. Look, it's all so new, you know. We need to stay together as a family, to bond. You know what it’s like.
Sean: Yeah, I know what it's like. I had a family once. You were part of it. Pretty stupid of me to think that I'd be a part of yours.

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James: I’m James.
Reefer: That’s a man’s name.
James: In French, ‘J’aime’ means ‘I love’.
Reefer: Reefer.
James: Well, that’s the same in any language, isn’t it?

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Christian: [to Ms. Hudson, who is in Florida on a hunting trip] You know, I can't seem to picture you in camouflage and orange.
Ms. Hudson: Well, after I zero in on my prey, I usually wear nothing at all.
Christian: Now that I can picture.

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Sean: [trying to join in on a breast augmentation Christian is doing] Scoot over Christian, you don't get to have all the fun.
Christian: What are you doing here? Thought you'd cop a feel while she was under?
Sean: I just think that we should give Ms. Hudson the best treatment we can. Since I'm available, I figured I'd just make sure the operation goes as smoothly as possible.
Christian: Oh Jesus, you've gotta be kidding me. You pull this crap every time you're fragile little ego gets bruised.
Liz: Boys, boys, boys. This is why God gave women two breasts. Now each of you take one, and go play in your corner of the sandbox.

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Sean: [after giving Matt sex advice] The neighbors will either move or send you flowers.
Matt: If that's what you did with her, I can't imagine what Christian and Kimber did together.

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Gina: Hello, Christian.
Christian: Don't you mean ‘hello, asshole?’

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Sean: [to Christian] I'm in awe of you, always have been.

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Christian: I have surgery this afternoon, Sean. If I don’t get my caffeine, I will fire Linda as soon as she even thinks about rolling her eyes at me.
Sean: Linda is irreplaceable. There is no McNamara/Troy without her. And there shouldn't be a Troy/Landau without her either.
Christian: You're the one I can't replace, Sean.

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Sean: It's not the past I'm worried about, Christian, it's your future. Liars don't just pick a day to stop lying. And if you lay down with dogs, you’re gonna wake up with fleas.

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Sean: Burning sage supposedly cleanses the environment of bad events, bad memories. Like a divorce. Or if someone was shot in the head in the living room, that sort of thing.
[Edit]
Christian: [to the couple moving in] Hey, you guys might want to sage the nursery. His ex-wife screwed a dwarf in there.

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Christian: You weren’t exactly upfront about your past.
Michelle: Would you have been if you were me?

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Christian: You know what my first impression of Hollywood is, Sean? It's a shithole. Where's the excitement I grew up reading about? Where's the glamour, huh? This town needs me. Which is why I’m moving here.

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Sean: [about Michelle] You love her, Christian.
Christian: I do love her. But I can’t trust her. Apparently, you're the only person I can trust. Absolutely trust.

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Christian: Just so you know, this Encino crap ain’t gonna cut it. It’s Rodeo Drive the whole way. With my sizzling good looks and brilliant business savvy and your moderately impressive talent, I think we could take over this town.
Sean: Sorry, not interested. Unless I get to pick out the carpet this time, and retain my customary first billing.
Christian: I think we could work something out.

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Christian: [in Sean's California operating room] Nurse, it's quieter than an ant's fart in here. Go play some music.

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Sean: It's been 2 months without even a botox shot, Christian. So far, the only thing I have to show for opening a new practice in Los Angeles is a better hook shot.
Christian: I wouldn't go that far. Look, we both knew it wasn't gonna be easy, right? But it's not like we can start up in a strip mall, hand out fliers hoping people will come through the door.
Sean: Worked the first time we started a business together.
Christian: At 25,baby! At 40, you gotta go all out. We owned Miami, right?
Sean: Yeah.
Christian: Right? So sooner or later, we're gonna make this town our bitch, too.

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Liz: You’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Christian: What?
Liz: Jaws. First time Brody sees the shark. You guys are in over your heads. You’re chum, being devoured by all the Rodeo Drive great whites.

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Sean: Jesus, does anyone in this town not have plastic surgery?
Christian: I feel like I'm trying to sell semen at a whorehouse.

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Christian: Pineapple juice, baby! Makes a man's shooty-shoot taste infinitely sweeter. It's nature's guarantee of a second date.

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Sean: I think our credentials speak for themselves. I’m written up in the New England Journal of Medicine three times, Plastic Reconstructive Surgery Journal twice...
Fiona: And how many times have you been written up in People Magazine, hotshot? You can’t spit in this town without hitting a plastic surgeon from Harvard. It’s not what you’ve done, it’s whom. Celebrity is power.
Sean: Well, we’re screwed. We can’t get a celebrity til we’ve operated on a celebrity!

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Freddy Prune: It’s okay for Tony Soprano’s best friend to be named Pussy but we’re television--not HBO-- so we can’t use the 'p' word on the network.

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Christian: Well, we had a case a couple of years ago... Remember, Sean? This woman came into our office. She burned her lips off in a cooking accident.
Sean: Right, we had to do a graft using skin from her vagina. The only problem was, her husband didn’t like oral sex, so she couldn’t let him know where the skin came from.
Christian: We called her Pussy Lips. I’d watch a show with pussy lips on it.
Freddy Prune: How soon can you start?
Christian: We’re not interested in just being consultants, Mr. Prune.
Sean: We’re not?
Christian: We want producer credits and the occasional line.

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Aidan Stone: What the hell is this shit, Freddy? A musical episode? How gay is that? Come on, this is the kind of desperate schlock you don’t do til your fifth season!

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Aidan Stone: Why is it that we’re in the plastic surgery capital of the world and we’re forced to work with these Miami wannabes? Can you tell me that?
Sean: You are not in charge here! I have seen kids playing doctor who have better surgical technique than you do! I’m giving you an opportunity to be more authentic. I would take it if I were you.

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Sean: Look at us. Mutilating our bodies, selling out to some hack TV show. We’re good surgeons. Why live in a place which doesn’t appreciate us, you know? Maybe we should have moved somewhere where substance reigns over style. Like New York.
Christian: Julia’s gone. Living a couple of subway stops away ain’t gonna change that.

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Christian: Look, you made a bold move coming out here, partner. Maybe the first one of your life, huh? How many guys our age finally get the opportunity to get the recognition they deserve? This is just the beginning.
Sean: Fame isn’t love, Christian. Getting it isn’t going to fill up some hole you’ve had inside you since you were a kid.

TV Show: Nip Tuck