Law and Order - Special Victims Unit Quotes

Munch: (to the Bowery stalker) You had us stumped for over a year, Daryl. Your operations manual reads like a textbook in tactics and resource management. I've offered it to the curriculum committee at the Academy. I think the next generation of cops could learn a lot from you.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Warner is conducting the autopsy on the victim with Benson and Stabler in the room.]
Warner: External examination found no traces of semen. Further testing...[pulling out an organ and placing it in a scale dish] showed spermicides usually found in condoms.
[Benson and Stabler look on in disgust]
Stabler: This is fun.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Benson and Stabler are at a suspect's mother's home, trying to locate his current address, though they avoid telling her that her son's a suspect]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Grace Mayberry: I don't like cryptic conversation. They require a prevaricating nature, which I do not possess. So either you tell me what this is all about...or you can locate Jason using whatever means you have at your disposal.
Benson: Do you know what obstruction is, ma'am? This is a murder investigation, and we need to speak with your son. Now.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Benson: We've gotten warrants based on less, why are you stonewalling?
Cabot: This is different and you know it. Once a judge hears the suspect's history, he's gonna bend over backwards for the guy.
Benson: I saw him, Alex. Plummer is stalking me.
Cabot: How did he know where you were when he was in the interview room being questioned?
Benson: He must've overheard.
Cabot: Okay, how many businesses are in the area near Chauncey's?
Benson: I don't know, several. Why? Where are you going with this?
Cabot: Any decent defense attorney is going to say that Mr. Plummer was in the area running errands, that it was just a coincidence.
Benson: He has killed four people and we're doing nothing.
Cabot: How many drinks did you have? Olivia, the system made a mistake before, now everything we do is under a microscope.
Benson: [pause] I wasn't drunk.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Investigating a series of rapes/homicides resembling those of the 'Soho Strangler', Stabler is paired with John 'Hawk' Hawkins, who put a man away for those crimes 18 years ago. Unfortunately, it begins to look as if that man was innocent all along.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Fin: [after meeting Hawkins for the first time] Who the hell was that?
Stabler: Wyatt Earp.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Hawkins: [about Benson] Your partner always so friendly?
Stabler: She just doesn't like you.
Hawkins: [amused] Wait 'til she gets to know me.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: [complaining about Hawkins' style] I just don't like grand-standers.
Hawkins: I thought you were going to say grandfathers. [In reference to a case that they lost at the beginning of the episode] That was a tough one to lose.
Stabler: [angrily] That jury sent him home to rape that kid all over again.
Hawkins: Did you make your case?
Stabler: I had him nailed.
Hawkins: Then you did your job.
Stabler: [snorts] That's not good enough anymore.
Hawkins: Well it has to be, 'cause that's all there is.
Stabler: I told that little girl that everything was going to be okay.
Hawkins: And I told the parents of Roger's victims that he'd rot in prison.
Stabler: Well at least you put him away for eighteen.
Hawkins: Yeah, well, at least you gave that little girl a few days' peace. We never win this war, Elliot.
Stabler[sighs} Just so tired of losing.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: Oh God bless the lawyers.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Hawkins: [reviewing old files after he has been drinking] I took eighteen years from an innocent man. There's no way I can make that right.
Stabler: So what're you going to do, quit? What are you going to tell the parents of those girls? You made them a promise, and if you're the man I think you are, you'll keep it.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Hawk has chased the killer to the roof of a building. When Stabler catches up, the suspect is clinging to the ledge as Hawk watches, ready to let him fall.]
Stabler: Hawk? Hawk, don't do this.
Hawkins: Don't do what, partner?.'
Stabler: We both know this isn't right.
Hawkins: We both know the system sucks. This way it's just natural selection. [He steps on the suspects hand]
Stabler: Hawk, you do this, you're no better than he is.
Hawkins: He sure as hell won't kill anybody else.
Stabler: This is no way to end it. Come on.
Hawkins: He's an evil man, Elliot.
Stabler: (Quoting Hawkins from earlier) "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
Hawkins: (Hawk starts stepping on the suspects hand again as the suspect screams in pain, pleading him to stop. Hawk takes his foot off the suspects hand) You gonna let an old drunk do all the work. Give me a hand.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Fin: Alright, nice dress.
Benson: Yeah, it was a nice date. Where's Munch?
Fin: He banged in sick.
Benson: He's such a hypochondriac. How many times has he had anthrax this week?

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Fin: I can't wait to hear this.
Munch: Your sympathy is overwhelming.
Benson: What happened to you?
Munch: Skydiving, hard landing.
Stabler: He wiped out riding his friend's Harley.
Cragen: Now the only thing he'll be riding is a desk.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cabot: He is as bad as his client! Hoping the victim is too tramatized to testify. He's lucky I didn't knock his teeth down his thoat!
Cragen: I'd pay real money to see that.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[In investigating the sexual assault of a 16-year-old, it's discovered that the victim is the rebellious stepdaughter of a judge, who is an old friend of Cragen's with dark secrets.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Donnelly: Need I remind you that I am responsible for the integrity of this entire bureau?
Cabot: A judge has used the power of the court to further his own agenda. If the light we shine on him isn't brighter than the light we shine on the public, then this bureau has no integrity.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[When a junkie is found raped, Tutuola takes an interest in her, but he's not the only one. When they find a finger in her purse, it opens a can of worms that spans back thirteen years, to when the girl witnessed her mother beating her baby sister to death, and even further back, when her grandmother turns her daughter in for the murder of her first-born son years before. The case is emotionally closed when Tutuola does an unexpected, and very rare favour.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Claire: What kind of a name is "Fin?"
Fin: Mine.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Benson and Stabler enter to find Dr. Warner inspecting a dessicated finger under a magnifying glass.]
Warner: It's official. The finger's dead.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Judge: Are you proposing to try your case right here, Ms. Cabot?
Cabot: No, I'm simply using rhetoric in order to make my point.
Judge: One of your more endearing qualities.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Claire: You have no idea what it's like to have a mother who doesn't give a damn about you.
Fin: [Reading newspaper] Violin's gonna start in any minute.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Claire: [To Fin] I could hug you, but I can tell you don't like to be touched.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Detective: If Missy had kept her mouth shut, could've been a perfect crime.
Cragen: Hey, you don't know there's been a trampoline in the room, you won't dust the ceiling for prints.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cragen: Tell me this isn't as bad as it seems.
Cabot: Oh, it is.
Cragen: And Missy's immunity is etched in stone?
Cabot: We can't touch her. We're screwed.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Missy: You can't kill me. I'm already dead.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cabot: Thank you. You've offered a provocative theory. What it lacks in substance, it makes up for in pretty colors.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Erin Russ: The rape charges on my client are bogus. And how did he get hurt between his home and the station house?
Alex Cabot: I don't know, how did he?

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Odafin Tutuola: He fell.
Russ: Bull.
Cabot: The only injuries I see are Mr. Gardner's torn knuckles from punching Detective Benson in the face, so unless you want to add the assault of a police officer to the list of charges, I suggest you move on.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cragen: [Introducing a federal marshal] Deputy Eckerson is requesting our assistance.
Stabler: Wow. Pigs really do fly, huh?

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit