Law and Order - Special Victims Unit Quotes

[Fin escorts Jeremy in cuffs down the corridor.]
Jeremy: I didn't do anything.
Fin: Sure you did. You obstructed justice, hindering prosecution, plus you're a lying piece of crap. We're not gonna charge you with that one.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Answering machine message: Hey, Spevak. You're late again. You better pay up, Doc, or we're coming over.
Fin: Doesn't sound like Mastercard.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Huang: I looked at the autopsy photos of the first three victims. [Tosses rope to Stabler] Strangle me?
Stabler: [Grinning broadly] I'll try.
Huang: [hastily reaches for the rope] I'll hold the rope.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Judge Terhune: [opening house door to find Novak standing outside] What the hell do you want?
Novak: I'm so sorry to bother you at home, Judge Terhune, but it's urgent.
Terhune: Well, I'm in the middle of something pretty important myself.
Man's voice: [from inside the house] Joe? Are you foldin' this hand?
Terhune: --No! [To Novak] Look. C'mon. C'mon. C'mon in. C'mon.
[Novak follows Terhune into the house.]
Novak: I just need your honor's signature--
Judge Ridenour: You just hit the jackpot, dearie.
[Novak stops at the door of a room. Inside there are several judges playing poker.]
Terhune: [sitting down at the table] I'm in. I believe you all know ADA Novak.
Novak: Judge Ridenour, Judge Petrovsky, Judge Wyler, Judge Bradley. I've had this nightmare before, only I was naked.
Judge Petrovsky: How charming.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Judge Terhune: What was so important that it couldn't wait until morning?
Novak: An exhumation order.
Judge Bradley: Better sign it, Joe. Corpse might be a flight risk.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Judge Terhune: And you want me to disturb the sanctity of the dead on your say so?
Novak: I have a very convincing but long argument, that will disturb the sanctity of your poker game.
'[Terhune signs the order.]
Novak: [sighs in relief] Thank you.
Terhune: Go. Go. Go go. [Throws chips into the pot.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: Gives whole new meaning to "live, streaming video."
Huang: You're either looking for a urophiliac, that's a sexual attraction to urine, or a coprophilia--
Benson: Okay. Let's not go there.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Fin: [On the phone, regarding the toilet cam] To be honest with you, I have no idea how we're gonna identify the victims.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: [Waiting for the voyeur suspect to answer the door] If there's any poetic justice we caught him in the bathroom.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[A pregnant 12-year old puts the SVU unit on the trail of a charismatic cult leader, but when tragedy strikes some of them find there are some horrors they cannot handle.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Huang: What do you most remember seeing after you entered the house?
Stabler: Dead bodies.
Huang: Anything specific about them?
Stabler: Bunch of dead bodies.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Huang: Then you think this is a big waste of your time.
Munch: Hell, no. I think we should all sit around all day and chat about our feelings.
Huang: Well, what do you want to talk about?
Munch: Well, it doesn't really matter. We can all talk until we're blue in the face. It's not going to change the fact that the human race is ever-evolving and will always come up with elaborate, repulsive, and depraved ways to kill each other.
Huang: And that's really the hard part for you, isn't it?
Munch: What?
Huang: That you can still be repulsed. As cynical as you try to be. You can still be sickened.
[Munch looks away.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[The death of a gang member seems to be related to a sexual assault, but Benson and Stabler discover when they find the victim that things are not exactly what they seem.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Finding a can of paint in an allegedly 'ex'-graffiti artist's locker.]
Munch: Looks like someone's still got the aerosol monkey on his back.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[In interrogation]
Logan: I don't know how to dumb this down for you anymore. It. Wasn't. Me.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Dr. Blair: [Regarding gender reassignment surgery] Any plastic surgeon will tell you, it's easier to dig a hole than to build a pole.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Benson: Dr. Blair, do you realize that disseminating pornography to a minor is a felony?
Dr. Blair: I showed them art books.
Stabler: Doc, I saw the art in your office and even I was uncomfortable at how many phalluses were on display.
Dr. Blair: That's because you're a bourgeois American, completely uptight about sex. It's what screws up your children and turns them into sex offenders.
Stabler: You lost me at bourgeois.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[The squad is puzzled at the murder of a random woman until they discover that it is linked to a popular video game.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Fin and Munch interview a computer game designer.]
Designer: That sequence was an easter egg.
Fin: A what?
Munch: That's a hidden treat players can access for extra fun.
Designer: You're not as old as you look.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Designer: Stu used to work here. We had to fire him because he snuck copulating bunny rabbits into a children's game we make.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Upon learning that a disembodied head had traces of semen in her mouth.]
Fin: He didn't even let her gargle.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Huang: He disarticulated her after he killed her.
Munch: What's the fun in that?

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Munch and Fin head into a synagogue to find a suspect.]
Munch: Put this on.
[Munch hands Fin a yarmulke.]
Fin: I look Jewish to you?

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: Cause of death?
Coroner: Heroin trip.
Fin: This girl didn't OD.
Coroner: No, I mean she tripped on the subway stairs because she was high.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: Let's hope the rest of her is in there. Resting in pieces.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Body seller: Listen. It's not what you're thinking.
Stabler: Oh, you have no idea what I'm thinking.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: No one should have to choose between obeying the law and watching their son die.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[An investigation into the near-fatal beating of a 12-year old boy uncovers a suspect whose trial becomes about the rights of same-sex parents.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Small girl: One time, this big boy, he pushed Sean. He fell down.
Fin: What was the big boy's name?
Small girl: I don't know. But he's bad. I saw him smoking.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Boy: Just because I'm a recess monitor, doesn't mean I'm a narc.

TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit