Law and Order - Special Victims Unit Quotes
Stabler: You get to Tribeca a lot?
Lawyer: You don't have to answer that.
Stabler: What questions can your client answer?
Lawyer: Anything that's a matter of public record. I want to know what my client's being charged with.
Munch: (to Stabler)You don't have to answer that.
Lawyer: You don't have to answer that.
Stabler: What questions can your client answer?
Lawyer: Anything that's a matter of public record. I want to know what my client's being charged with.
Munch: (to Stabler)You don't have to answer that.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[The murder of a gay man on the rooftop of a building could be a hate crime that leads back to his own family, the wealthy and influential leaders of a moral coalition that believes homosexuality can be cured.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Munch walks into the squad room and finds his colleagues filling out forms.]
Cragen: Police union found us better health insurance.
Cassidy: This form is longer than the last book I read.
Munch: Don't you see what they're doing?
Jeffries: Yeah, they're looking out for you, Munch. Psychiatric coverage increased to 80%.
Cragen: Police union found us better health insurance.
Cassidy: This form is longer than the last book I read.
Munch: Don't you see what they're doing?
Jeffries: Yeah, they're looking out for you, Munch. Psychiatric coverage increased to 80%.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Cassidy turns his form back in to Cragen, who looks at it.]
Cragen: Uh, there's two "R"s in "hemorrhoids."
[The rest of the squad looks at Cassidy.]
Cassidy: I'm a desk jockey. What do you want from me?
Cragen: Uh, there's two "R"s in "hemorrhoids."
[The rest of the squad looks at Cassidy.]
Cassidy: I'm a desk jockey. What do you want from me?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Regarding a pending interrogation.]
Munch: More specifically, he's mad at you.
Stabler: Which is why we thought you'd have better luck with him.
Benson: Yeah, I mean you're smart and God knows you're patient.
[Munch goes in to interrogate the suspect.]
Hale: I am not a homosexual.
Munch: Okay.
Hale: Part of my job was to keep an eye on Seth. Mr. Langdon is seriously eyeing a run for a congressional seat. But the scandal of having an openly homosexual son- well, look at the damage a lesbian sister caused Newt.
Munch: Actually, she was a half-sister.
Hale: She may have been a half-sister, but unfortunately for Newt, she was all lesbian.
Munch: You don't think Newt's problems had anything to do with his ethics violations or him being a pedantic megalomaniac who espouses family values while serving his cancer-stricken wife with divorce papers while she's on her hospital deathbed? Did that ever occur to you?
[Cragen turns away from the window, where he is monitoring the interview.]
Cragen: Anybody know where Cassidy is?
[Cut to new scene. Cassidy is now interviewing the suspect.]
Munch: More specifically, he's mad at you.
Stabler: Which is why we thought you'd have better luck with him.
Benson: Yeah, I mean you're smart and God knows you're patient.
[Munch goes in to interrogate the suspect.]
Hale: I am not a homosexual.
Munch: Okay.
Hale: Part of my job was to keep an eye on Seth. Mr. Langdon is seriously eyeing a run for a congressional seat. But the scandal of having an openly homosexual son- well, look at the damage a lesbian sister caused Newt.
Munch: Actually, she was a half-sister.
Hale: She may have been a half-sister, but unfortunately for Newt, she was all lesbian.
Munch: You don't think Newt's problems had anything to do with his ethics violations or him being a pedantic megalomaniac who espouses family values while serving his cancer-stricken wife with divorce papers while she's on her hospital deathbed? Did that ever occur to you?
[Cragen turns away from the window, where he is monitoring the interview.]
Cragen: Anybody know where Cassidy is?
[Cut to new scene. Cassidy is now interviewing the suspect.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Discussing the embarrassing death scene of the victim.]
Munch: They still didn't have to shove a banana where the sun don't shine. That's just rude.
Munch: They still didn't have to shove a banana where the sun don't shine. That's just rude.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Discussing the victim's love life.]
Cassidy: For a 50 year old, this guy had a lot of energy.
Cragen: What's that supposed to imply?
Cassidy: Oh, nothing. I'm sure you and John have just as much.
Cassidy: For a 50 year old, this guy had a lot of energy.
Cragen: What's that supposed to imply?
Cassidy: Oh, nothing. I'm sure you and John have just as much.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Katya: This is America. You can't do this.
Benson: Sweetheart, let me let you in on a little secret. Cops are the same everywhere.
Benson: Sweetheart, let me let you in on a little secret. Cops are the same everywhere.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[The murder of a judge leads SVU to a prison for pay scandal involving the purchase of sentences and paroles for criminals.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: Nice view.
Cassidy: Yeah, at night, too.
Munch: You've been here at night, too?
Cassidy: Yeah, you know. On a...a case.
Munch: Case of what?
Cassidy: Well, you know, like a...like a date. With a friend.
Munch: What friend is that?
Cassidy: Guy. Buddy of mine. Pal.
Munch: Uh huh.
Cassidy: What?
Cassidy: Yeah, at night, too.
Munch: You've been here at night, too?
Cassidy: Yeah, you know. On a...a case.
Munch: Case of what?
Cassidy: Well, you know, like a...like a date. With a friend.
Munch: What friend is that?
Cassidy: Guy. Buddy of mine. Pal.
Munch: Uh huh.
Cassidy: What?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: I want you to seal this crime scene tighter than an accountant's ass.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: Afternoons he often spent at the library. He told his secretary he needed time alone.
Cassidy: To think deep, legal thoughts behind the wheel of his Caddy, fly open to the breeze.
Cassidy: To think deep, legal thoughts behind the wheel of his Caddy, fly open to the breeze.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: "Hello and welcome to Parole Fone. If you want to pay with sex, press one. To make a donation to a phony charity, press two."
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cragen: Let her go.
Stabler: Why?
Cragen: Because her attorney said we have to.
Attorney: Alright. I'm asking.
Stabler: Why?
Cragen: Because her attorney said we have to.
Attorney: Alright. I'm asking.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cragen: If I could, I would exhume the body and kick his ass.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[To abusive husband in prison hitting on Benson.]
Stabler: Why don't you play "The Dating Game" with someone who shares your clinical diagnosis.
Stabler: Why don't you play "The Dating Game" with someone who shares your clinical diagnosis.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cassidy: Whatever.
Munch: My generation pioneered that succinct abstraction, but to me it still means diddly.
Munch: My generation pioneered that succinct abstraction, but to me it still means diddly.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Benson is interrogating a suspect]]
Randolph Morrow: Honey, I'd like a mineral water, no ice.
Benson: And I'd like your balls in a blender, but ain't life a bitch?
Randolph Morrow: Honey, I'd like a mineral water, no ice.
Benson: And I'd like your balls in a blender, but ain't life a bitch?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Stabler is talking to a police psychiatrist after a particularly brutal case]
Psychiatrist: How long does a case like this stay with you?
Stabler: A while.
Psychiatrist: What do you do to turn it off?
Stabler: Go home, kiss my wife, hug my kids.
Psychiatrist: You see them in the victims, don't you?
Stabler: [pause] Have you ever seen an eight-year-old with no soul? I have.
Psychiatrist: And what do you do when you see that?
Stabler: I think about people who do those sorts of things.... and I think about how I could get away with killing them.
Psychiatrist: How long does a case like this stay with you?
Stabler: A while.
Psychiatrist: What do you do to turn it off?
Stabler: Go home, kiss my wife, hug my kids.
Psychiatrist: You see them in the victims, don't you?
Stabler: [pause] Have you ever seen an eight-year-old with no soul? I have.
Psychiatrist: And what do you do when you see that?
Stabler: I think about people who do those sorts of things.... and I think about how I could get away with killing them.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cabot: Captain Cragen!
Cragen: Ms. Cabot?
Cabot: Alex.
Cragen: Yeah. Right. Of course.
Cabot: Let's not start off on the wrong foot. My assignment to SVU preceded the "behavior problems" under you command.
Cragen: Behavioral problems?
Cabot: I'm trying to be polite.
Cragen: Tip-toeing around the road kill?
Cabot: Where there's smoke...
Cragen: Who do you sleep with Ms. Cabot? Are you so new at this that you haven't run into somebody you wanted skip due process with? I'll apprise you ASAP, if ASAP can be tomorrow, you understand I have "behavioral problems".
Cragen: Ms. Cabot?
Cabot: Alex.
Cragen: Yeah. Right. Of course.
Cabot: Let's not start off on the wrong foot. My assignment to SVU preceded the "behavior problems" under you command.
Cragen: Behavioral problems?
Cabot: I'm trying to be polite.
Cragen: Tip-toeing around the road kill?
Cabot: Where there's smoke...
Cragen: Who do you sleep with Ms. Cabot? Are you so new at this that you haven't run into somebody you wanted skip due process with? I'll apprise you ASAP, if ASAP can be tomorrow, you understand I have "behavioral problems".
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cabot: You want me to secure a search warrant for the offices of a defense contractor to search classified, national security files for evidence in a sexually motivated homicide?
Munch: Is that a problem?
Cabot: [sighs, picks up the phone and dials] Judge Hermann, please. [pause] This is Alex Cabot with the D.A's office. [pause] Uncle Bill... look, I need a favor.
Munch: Is that a problem?
Cabot: [sighs, picks up the phone and dials] Judge Hermann, please. [pause] This is Alex Cabot with the D.A's office. [pause] Uncle Bill... look, I need a favor.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: Hi Jennifer, I’m Detective Munch.
Jennifer: That’s a funny name, Munch.
Munch: You think that’s funny? I guess if I ever have kids I’ll have to call them "munchkins".
Jennifer: That’s a funny name, Munch.
Munch: You think that’s funny? I guess if I ever have kids I’ll have to call them "munchkins".
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Capt. Cragan: See actually I hate that little black roden. Now Dick Tracy, that was a club, you got this great decorder ring and a really cool watch.
IAB Detective Howard: Are you going to say something Ms. Cabot?
Alex Cabot: : Like what?
IAB Detective Santiago: Protocol. Like if you're charging the Sgt with rape? Like if you would rein in your squad. And if you could be so kind as to keep us informed to the status.
Alex Cabot: Very well. Charging Andrews prior to his making a formal statement is premature. Am I sweeping it under the rug as you would prefer? No. And I strongly advise you to discontinue obstructing this unit from doing its job or I will have be more than happy to file charges naming you and your partner as coconspirators.
IAB Detective Santiago: IAB is here strictly in a supervisory capacity.
Alex Cabot: Not anymore. You may consider yourselves officially updated.
IAB Detective Howard: Are you going to say something Ms. Cabot?
Alex Cabot: : Like what?
IAB Detective Santiago: Protocol. Like if you're charging the Sgt with rape? Like if you would rein in your squad. And if you could be so kind as to keep us informed to the status.
Alex Cabot: Very well. Charging Andrews prior to his making a formal statement is premature. Am I sweeping it under the rug as you would prefer? No. And I strongly advise you to discontinue obstructing this unit from doing its job or I will have be more than happy to file charges naming you and your partner as coconspirators.
IAB Detective Santiago: IAB is here strictly in a supervisory capacity.
Alex Cabot: Not anymore. You may consider yourselves officially updated.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: I had my own "Alan Cryder". Insurance salesman ran his business out of a converted garage in Queens. Well liked, would invite the neighbourhood kids up for ice cream and stories. One day, a six-year-old girl goes missing from a playground in Soho. Long story short, we find her underneath the floor boards of his office along with three other children, all in various stages of decomposition. But he's gone and I'm left with a cold case. Two years, nothing but silence and headaches. I wasn't sleeping a lot, I kept having these recurring nightmares where my own children would be underneath the floor boards that I couldn't pry up. And,one day, I'm just gassing up my car in Chelsea and there he is. And before I know it, I've got his face sandwiched between his windshield and the muzzle of my gun. And I'm yelling "freeze" and I realize that I'm yelling at myself. Because I can't stop my finger from pulling the trigger and I am praying for him to blink, I'm praying for Him to twitch, just do something to give me an excuse. And then I see a face inside of his car. It's a girl, this beautiful little six-year old girl with these big eyes. I figured she'd seen enough
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cabot: I need you to authorize this deal.
DA: Counselor, I am a public servant, and the public at large does not want this...boil on the butt of humanity living to a ripe old age!
Cabot: Charlie, think of the mother!
DA: I am! And I'm sure that she'd want to see him to die.
Cabot: Maybe. But she probably wants to know what happened to her daughter also.
DA: And what about the mothers of all his other victims? They want him dead. The city wants him dead. Even protesters against the death penalty want to see this guy dead!
DA: Counselor, I am a public servant, and the public at large does not want this...boil on the butt of humanity living to a ripe old age!
Cabot: Charlie, think of the mother!
DA: I am! And I'm sure that she'd want to see him to die.
Cabot: Maybe. But she probably wants to know what happened to her daughter also.
DA: And what about the mothers of all his other victims? They want him dead. The city wants him dead. Even protesters against the death penalty want to see this guy dead!
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cabot: I'm willing to speak to you. However, you have no legal authority to compel me to answer any questions.
Internal Affairs Officer: We are well aware of that, Ms. Cabot. We're only trying to get to the truth.
Cabot: Aren't we all.
Internal Affairs Officer: We are well aware of that, Ms. Cabot. We're only trying to get to the truth.
Cabot: Aren't we all.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cabot: If you are looking for someone to denigrate Captain Cragen or the unit, find someone else.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: (to a serial rapist and murderer known as the Bowery Stalker) Shoplifting. Kind of an undignified end to such an ambitious operation.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit