Law and Order - Special Victims Unit Quotes
Chief of Detectives: [about a tank of frozen embryos stolen from a fertility clinic] Now, Don doesn't believe this falls under your purview, but those are potential children, who've been kidnapped. If they're not special victims, who is?
Movie: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Detective Olivia Benson: Joe, why did you shoot Luke and Tyrell? [sets out pictures of the victims on the table]
Joe Blaine: [looking at pictures] I don't know them.
Detective Olivia Benson: You don't know them? You told us that you went to school with them.
Joe Blaine: No, I didn't.
Detective Olivia Benson: Joe. Joe, look at me. [Joe looks up and then looks back down]
Detective Olivia Benson: You're in serious trouble here, and you need to help yourself.
Joe Blaine: I don't want to.
Detective Elliot Stabler: [laying a drawing on the table] Did you draw this?
Joe Blaine: Where's my pen? I want my pen!
Detective Elliot Stabler: We'll get you one. I know you drew that now did you also do this?
Joe Blaine: Didn't draw that. Didn't draw that!
Detective Olivia Benson: [points to masked figure in the drawing] Joe, who's this? Who's this person here?
Joe Blaine: [whispering] Zoltar.
Detective Olivia Benson: Who's Zoltar?
Joe Blaine: [begins slapping himself and banging his head on the table] No! I won't! Stop! Stop, I won't!
Joe Blaine: [after Stabler tries to calm him] Zoltars gonna kill you! He's gonna kill you! [Stabler picks him up out of his chair]
Joe Blaine: Get off! He's gonna kill you! Zoltar's gonna kill you!
Joe Blaine: [looking at pictures] I don't know them.
Detective Olivia Benson: You don't know them? You told us that you went to school with them.
Joe Blaine: No, I didn't.
Detective Olivia Benson: Joe. Joe, look at me. [Joe looks up and then looks back down]
Detective Olivia Benson: You're in serious trouble here, and you need to help yourself.
Joe Blaine: I don't want to.
Detective Elliot Stabler: [laying a drawing on the table] Did you draw this?
Joe Blaine: Where's my pen? I want my pen!
Detective Elliot Stabler: We'll get you one. I know you drew that now did you also do this?
Joe Blaine: Didn't draw that. Didn't draw that!
Detective Olivia Benson: [points to masked figure in the drawing] Joe, who's this? Who's this person here?
Joe Blaine: [whispering] Zoltar.
Detective Olivia Benson: Who's Zoltar?
Joe Blaine: [begins slapping himself and banging his head on the table] No! I won't! Stop! Stop, I won't!
Joe Blaine: [after Stabler tries to calm him] Zoltars gonna kill you! He's gonna kill you! [Stabler picks him up out of his chair]
Joe Blaine: Get off! He's gonna kill you! Zoltar's gonna kill you!
Movie: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Olivia Benson: "Stand By Your Man" sounds much better when Tammy Wynette sings it.
Movie: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Looking through a victim's purse for ID]
Olivia Benson: No jewelry. I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, like you carry a purse.
Olivia Benson: That's 'cause you carry it for me.
Elliot Stabler: Heh...
Olivia Benson: No jewelry. I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, like you carry a purse.
Olivia Benson: That's 'cause you carry it for me.
Elliot Stabler: Heh...
Movie: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Narrator: In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[An investigation into the sexually-motivated stabbing of a cab driver leads the detectives on a trail back through time to Bosnian war crimes.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: Okay, so it's not a robbery, but stabbings aren't necessarily sexual. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Is there a specific reason you called us out?
Detective: Whoever did this sliced off his "cigar" and took it with him. Is that specific enough?
[Benson and Stabler look at the victim, then look at each other.]
Benson: Works for me.
Detective: Whoever did this sliced off his "cigar" and took it with him. Is that specific enough?
[Benson and Stabler look at the victim, then look at each other.]
Benson: Works for me.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Jeffries: Doesn't sound like there's much doubt on the COD.
Munch: Do you think your conclusional pole vaults are personality- or gender-driven?
Munch: Do you think your conclusional pole vaults are personality- or gender-driven?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[After testifying in court, during which the defendant flashed the jury and was forcibly removed]
Benson: Hey. How'd it go?
Stabler: He's in Bellevue.
Benson: Jury came back that fast?
Stabler: He waved his flag at them before they had a chance. Nobody saluted.
Benson: Hey. How'd it go?
Stabler: He's in Bellevue.
Benson: Jury came back that fast?
Stabler: He waved his flag at them before they had a chance. Nobody saluted.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Benson: Question. Who'd want to cut your penis off?
Victor: Take a number.
Victor: Take a number.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Victor: [to Stabler] Hey. You doing anything Saturday night?
[He purses his lips and makes a kissing motion at Stabler. Stabler smiles.]
Stabler: Oh, I'd hurt you.
[He purses his lips and makes a kissing motion at Stabler. Stabler smiles.]
Stabler: Oh, I'd hurt you.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cragen: Didn't two of Spicer's married johns take a bust?
Benson: Yeah, about six months ago. Vice was targeting the piers.
Cragen: I'm sure their wives must have been thrilled.
[Munch chuckles behind Cragen. Cragen turns to look at him.]
Cragen: What are you doing?
Munch: Eavesdropping.
Cragen: Good, you're up to speed. What do you say you go interrogate a husband?
Benson: Yeah, about six months ago. Vice was targeting the piers.
Cragen: I'm sure their wives must have been thrilled.
[Munch chuckles behind Cragen. Cragen turns to look at him.]
Cragen: What are you doing?
Munch: Eavesdropping.
Cragen: Good, you're up to speed. What do you say you go interrogate a husband?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Mr. Dupree: You enjoy this, do you?
Cassidy: [laughing] Yeah.
Cassidy: [laughing] Yeah.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: A military plane drops JFK's coffin into 9,000 feet of water three years after the assassination. You don't find that suggestive, perhaps even a tad disquieting?
Cassidy: No.
Munch: No? The Justice Department waits 33 years before they impart this tidbit on the American people, and then they say they did it because it wasn't evidence? What are you, sheep? Will you believe anything?
Cassidy: [sheep-like] Naaaah.
Cassidy: No.
Munch: No? The Justice Department waits 33 years before they impart this tidbit on the American people, and then they say they did it because it wasn't evidence? What are you, sheep? Will you believe anything?
Cassidy: [sheep-like] Naaaah.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Jeffries enters the break room, where Cassidy, Cragen, and Munch are eating lunch.]
Jeffries: You guys going to eat all this?
Munch: Suppose we say yes.
Jeffries: Suppose I'm just being polite.
Munch: That will be a first.
Cassidy: It's cool. John doesn't eat vegetables.
Jeffries: Yeah? The way I heard, that's not all John never gets to...eat.
[Jeffries leaves with a container of Chinese food. Cassidy sucks on his fork.]
Cassidy: Ouch.
Jeffries: You guys going to eat all this?
Munch: Suppose we say yes.
Jeffries: Suppose I'm just being polite.
Munch: That will be a first.
Cassidy: It's cool. John doesn't eat vegetables.
Jeffries: Yeah? The way I heard, that's not all John never gets to...eat.
[Jeffries leaves with a container of Chinese food. Cassidy sucks on his fork.]
Cassidy: Ouch.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: I'm never setting foot in the city of Baltimore again, as long as I'm on this mortal sphere.
Cassidy: Why? You're rich. Did your 20, got your pension, and you're on the job here.
Munch: I earned that pension with the sweat of my mind, while surrounded by intellectual insects. Not to mention the fact that I lost a wife after less than one night of connubial bliss to someone who was not only another detective, but a member of my own squad.
Cassidy: Why? You're rich. Did your 20, got your pension, and you're on the job here.
Munch: I earned that pension with the sweat of my mind, while surrounded by intellectual insects. Not to mention the fact that I lost a wife after less than one night of connubial bliss to someone who was not only another detective, but a member of my own squad.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[Benson is physical ill after visiting a horribly mutilated blind victim of Serbian ethnic cleansing.]
Stabler: Remember that Tom Hanks movie where he managed the girls' team? [hands Benson a piece of gum] "There's no crying in baseball."
Stabler: Remember that Tom Hanks movie where he managed the girls' team? [hands Benson a piece of gum] "There's no crying in baseball."
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: So you don't think she murdered him.
Benson: [lying] No. I don't think she murdered him. She said she was in her office until around one. That was after he was killed.
Stabler: And no one else was there.
Benson: And no one else was there.
Stabler: And no one else was there. That is an anti-alibi.
Benson: [lying] No. I don't think she murdered him. She said she was in her office until around one. That was after he was killed.
Stabler: And no one else was there.
Benson: And no one else was there.
Stabler: And no one else was there. That is an anti-alibi.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Benson: Look. We know there are two killers, so. How are we going to find the other one?
Stabler: You mean the other one who also didn't do it?
Stabler: You mean the other one who also didn't do it?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cragen: I read the autopsy report. Now do you really believe that those two ladies were walking around with five and seven-inch knives in their purses every day?
Benson: I think we did the one thing that's going to allow me to sleep tonight.
Cragen: You just used your "Get out of Jail Free" card on this case, Olivia. There's only one in the pack.
Benson: I think we did the one thing that's going to allow me to sleep tonight.
Cragen: You just used your "Get out of Jail Free" card on this case, Olivia. There's only one in the pack.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[The apparent murder of a solitary single woman resonates with Benson, who finds too many similarities between herself and the dead girl.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[The squad is looking at pictures of the victim.]
Stabler: Eight stories up, eight down.
Cassidy: Looks like she was shot out of a cannon.
Cragen: Guy on steroids?
Munch: No, the Yankees are on a road trip.
Stabler: Yeah, they're down in Baltimore, kicking a little Oriole ass.
Stabler: Eight stories up, eight down.
Cassidy: Looks like she was shot out of a cannon.
Cragen: Guy on steroids?
Munch: No, the Yankees are on a road trip.
Stabler: Yeah, they're down in Baltimore, kicking a little Oriole ass.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Benson: How about plain old testosterone-driven rage?
Jeffries: Her boyfriend?
Munch: Or girl. You could toss 100 pounds without breaking a sweat.
Jeffries: Toss you, you skinny-ass geek.
Munch: See? The rage?
Jeffries: Her boyfriend?
Munch: Or girl. You could toss 100 pounds without breaking a sweat.
Jeffries: Toss you, you skinny-ass geek.
Munch: See? The rage?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: The whole thing's a pyramid scheme.
Cassidy: What whole thing?
Munch: Laptops. We've become a nation of laptoppers, writing orders on our laptops, more laptops- whatever happened to pens?
Cassidy: What whole thing?
Munch: Laptops. We've become a nation of laptoppers, writing orders on our laptops, more laptops- whatever happened to pens?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Munch: [reading the title of one of the victim's articles] "How to build a better orgasm" in "Cosmopolitan." Somebody might kill for this.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Neighbor: Excuse me. How long does that girl's apartment remain a crime scene?
Benson: Why?
Neighbor's husband: We're next on the list for a one-bedroom.
Benson: Why?
Neighbor's husband: We're next on the list for a one-bedroom.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit