Law and Order - Special Victims Unit Quotes
Stabler: What'd you do, Charlie?
Charlie: He made fun of me. He said the reason my girlfriend won't have sex with me is that she's afraid I'll squash her.
Charlie: He made fun of me. He said the reason my girlfriend won't have sex with me is that she's afraid I'll squash her.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Cragen: You gonna bring him in?
Benson: We're waiting for the crime scene report before we take another crack at him.
[Munch approaches with a file.]
Munch: Ask and ye shall receive, unless, of course, you're Jewish.
[Cragen takes the file.]
Cragen: I'm not.
Benson: We're waiting for the crime scene report before we take another crack at him.
[Munch approaches with a file.]
Munch: Ask and ye shall receive, unless, of course, you're Jewish.
[Cragen takes the file.]
Cragen: I'm not.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
CSU: I checked out the security cameras at Marty's Deli across from the school.
Fin: What were you doing at Marty's?
CSU: They got pixie sticks.
Fin: What were you doing at Marty's?
CSU: They got pixie sticks.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
CSU: [Displays bagged scissors] Found these in the school dumpster.
Fin: She means I found them under the tuna casserole. All she did is stand and point.
Fin: She means I found them under the tuna casserole. All she did is stand and point.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Headmistress: When Emma's mother enrolled her at St. Victor's, she told us she was a single parent. She hid the fact that Emma has another parent. A woman.
Stabler: Emma's mom is gay.
Benson: So what's the big deal? Same sex couples raise children all the time.
Headmistress: Yes, but they don't usually lie about being gay and enroll their children in conservative Catholic schools.
Stabler: Emma's mom is gay.
Benson: So what's the big deal? Same sex couples raise children all the time.
Headmistress: Yes, but they don't usually lie about being gay and enroll their children in conservative Catholic schools.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Headmistress: How do you teach catechism with Emma in the classroom? "Homosexuality is a sin, kids, but oh, that's okay, Emma. Your moms are good people otherwise.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: In the six months since Zoe and Kate took St. Victor's to court, the whole family's been harassed. They've even changed their phone numbers twice.
Fin: Didn't do any good. Broken windows, graffiti on the doors. Zoe's filed six reports. Nobody's ever been charged.
Munch: Since when did New York become a red state?
Fin: Didn't do any good. Broken windows, graffiti on the doors. Zoe's filed six reports. Nobody's ever been charged.
Munch: Since when did New York become a red state?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Fin: But Zoe wanted to make a point. Take the school to court. Win one for the cause.
Munch: Someone's got to fight the fight.
Fin: It shouldn't be an eight year old.
Munch: Someone's got to fight the fight.
Fin: It shouldn't be an eight year old.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: She's still Emma's guardian while Kate's in the hospital.
Lawyer: De facto guardian, yes. But the state doesn't afford her the right to make decisions for Emma. She's no more her parent or guardian than a babysitter would be.
Benson: You've raised Emma ever since she was born. How can you say that you're nothing more than a babysitter?
Zoe: I should have legal rights over Emma. But I don't. So why should I claim them now when it would only hurt her?
Lawyer: Confession's out. You want to talk to Emma again, go through me.
Lawyer: De facto guardian, yes. But the state doesn't afford her the right to make decisions for Emma. She's no more her parent or guardian than a babysitter would be.
Benson: You've raised Emma ever since she was born. How can you say that you're nothing more than a babysitter?
Zoe: I should have legal rights over Emma. But I don't. So why should I claim them now when it would only hurt her?
Lawyer: Confession's out. You want to talk to Emma again, go through me.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Novak: How'd it go?
Benson: Great. I love putting 8-year olds in lockup overnight.
Benson: Great. I love putting 8-year olds in lockup overnight.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[When the accused killer of a teen's mother is released due to lack of evidence, the youth exacts his own justice by killing the man.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
DJ: Man, I ain't carrying, all right? And you can search me.
Munch: (Opens a front-loading washing machine and finds dozens of packets of crystal meth) Look at what I found.
Fin: Oughtta be worth a couple of grand.
DJ: Can't pin that on me.
Fin: Yeah, but I might be able to pin a murder on you, DJ.
DJ: What?
Fin: The rape and murder of Monica Phelps.
DJ: No no no. I did not murder her.
Munch: (Studies bottles of detergent on top of the machine) So what should I use? Lemony goodness, or Mount Stream?
Munch: (Opens a front-loading washing machine and finds dozens of packets of crystal meth) Look at what I found.
Fin: Oughtta be worth a couple of grand.
DJ: Can't pin that on me.
Fin: Yeah, but I might be able to pin a murder on you, DJ.
DJ: What?
Fin: The rape and murder of Monica Phelps.
DJ: No no no. I did not murder her.
Munch: (Studies bottles of detergent on top of the machine) So what should I use? Lemony goodness, or Mount Stream?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
DJ: Thought she was working at a hot dog stand. She wouldn't be frying franks if she was dealing. Now wasn't I helpful.
Munch: Very. (turns on the laundry machine)
Munch: Very. (turns on the laundry machine)
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Non-profit worker: Ted has dedicated his life to helping people that other would consider trash. Addicts, whores, and degenerates. And he gets nothing in return. Tell that to the people who sent you. (storms off)
Benson: Well, she's got nothing to hide.
Stabler: Nooooooo, not at all.
Benson: Well, she's got nothing to hide.
Stabler: Nooooooo, not at all.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Ted: (to underage girl in motel room) Why don't you just take off your clothes, and we'll have ourselves a good time.
Stabler: (bursts into room with a drawn gun) Can we have a good time too?
Fin: (entering) Me too. I bet we can all have a lot of fun.
Stabler: (bursts into room with a drawn gun) Can we have a good time too?
Fin: (entering) Me too. I bet we can all have a lot of fun.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Ted's lawyer: He was attempting to have sex with a minor, and you know this because you can read his mind?
Benson: We know this because he paid a minor $2,000 to have sex.
Benson: We know this because he paid a minor $2,000 to have sex.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: Do you know how much you've spent on them, Ted? Have you done the math? Hm? $2 million. $2 million dollars worth of sex?
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Ted: I need to say this. I've been unfaithful. Many times. But I've never paid anyone for sex. They were my girlfriends.
Stabler: Wow. You're a busy guy, huh.
Benson: So all the financial transactions that happened after the sex were completely unrelated.
Ted: I wanted to help them. I loved them.
Stabler: Wow. You're a busy guy, huh.
Benson: So all the financial transactions that happened after the sex were completely unrelated.
Ted: I wanted to help them. I loved them.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Conrad: This study equates gun violence with an infectious disease. Anyone exposed to it is infected. Now you may not agree or like this study. Gun manufacturers don't like it either. It goes against their mantra: "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." But this study points to something that is almost unspeakable in today's gun culture, and that is that the blame for violence can be directly placed on the gun. Once you see someone squeeze the trigger, it's easier to do it yourself. Nathan saw his mother shot to death in front him, and at that moment he contracted the disease. It wasn't his choice, any more than it is your choice to catch a cold after someone sneezed on you. Violence is the disease. Guns are the virus. And we have an epidemic on our hands.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Novak: Does witnessing a murder justify a murder?
Benson: It doesn't justify it. But it might explain it.
Benson: It doesn't justify it. But it might explain it.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Novak: You gave the jury a reason to acquit.
Benson: I was trying to tell the truth. I'm sorry.
Benson: I was trying to tell the truth. I'm sorry.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Conrad: He's not testifying, period.
Donnelly: Let him.
Conrad: And let him incriminate himself?
Donnelly: Exactly
Conrad: Are you crazy?
Donnelly: [To Novak] What do you think?
Novak: A jury's been sworn in on a criminal case, a witness has testified. Do you see where this is heading?
Conrad: If you screw us over on this-
Novak: Trust me.
Donnelly: Let him.
Conrad: And let him incriminate himself?
Donnelly: Exactly
Conrad: Are you crazy?
Donnelly: [To Novak] What do you think?
Novak: A jury's been sworn in on a criminal case, a witness has testified. Do you see where this is heading?
Conrad: If you screw us over on this-
Novak: Trust me.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Lawyer: Your honor, this is a setup, perpetrated by the DA's office.
Judge Malloy: Mr. Getty, I'd agree with you, except that you're the one who called Mr. Phelps to the stand. This action is dismissed. Court is adjourned.
Judge Malloy: Mr. Getty, I'd agree with you, except that you're the one who called Mr. Phelps to the stand. This action is dismissed. Court is adjourned.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
[When an 8-year-old girl is kidnapped on her way home from school, DNA tests on the blood found in the abductor's abandoned van reveal she has leukemia.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: "Password protected."
Computer Tech: My 6-year old could hack this.
Computer Tech: My 6-year old could hack this.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: No way. You're not doing this.
Warner: I can take care of myself.
Stabler: No offense, but med school doesn't exactly prepare you for something like this.
Warner: The Air Force did. They paid for medical school. I did two tours at Ramstien during Desert Storm. I know how to handle myself around men with guns.
Warner: I can take care of myself.
Stabler: No offense, but med school doesn't exactly prepare you for something like this.
Warner: The Air Force did. They paid for medical school. I did two tours at Ramstien during Desert Storm. I know how to handle myself around men with guns.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Danny: No. Everybody stays. They're my ticket out of here.
Stabler: You don't need them. You've got me. I'm a cop. So's every guy out there. They're not going to risk my life. As long as you're with me, you're safe.
Stabler: You don't need them. You've got me. I'm a cop. So's every guy out there. They're not going to risk my life. As long as you're with me, you're safe.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Warner: He's my patient, Elliott. I'm not leaving without him.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit
Stabler: You okay?
Warner: Yeah. I got to pick up my daughter from school.
Warner: Yeah. I got to pick up my daughter from school.
TV Show: Law and Order - Special Victims Unit