Hell's Kitchen Quotes

Gordon: On order: Four covers, Table 4. Two risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar.
Blue Team: Yes, Chef!
Danny: [to Giovanni] Is it [the water] boiling?
Gordon: How long?
Giovanni: I'm waiting for the water to boil, Chef.
Gordon: You expect me to tell Jean-Philippe we're waiting for your water to boil?!
Giovanni: Oh, I'm sorry.
Ben: [interview] Oh, man, Gio. How do you expect to cook pasta in water that's not boiling?
Gordon: Hey, look at me! There's no olive oil in there, the water's not seasoned, it's not even boiling!
Giovanni: [interview] Oh, that was my fault. I didn't check my equipment. It won't happen again, that's for sure.
Gordon: Let's go, Giovanni, let's go! Oh, my God...

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Hey, hey, come here, you. Three Wellingtons, you brought me four. One medium, one medium-well, one well done. Where's the medium one?
Colleen: The medium one's here, Chef.
Gordon: Where's the medium-well?
Colleen: The medium-well's here, Chef.
Gordon: Where's the well done one, then?
Colleen: It's right here, Chef.
Gordon: So what the (bleep) is this one?
Colleen: I don't know.
Gordon: You don't know. That's funny, isn't it? A little "Ha-ha," "Tee-hee," and "God Bless Nebraska?"

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: [To Seth] I just watched you wipe your face and then wipe a pan. If this one's for your (bleep) nose, where's your cooking cloth?

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: All of you come here! Hey look at me. You are pathetic. No one's won! (Bleep) off! Both teams start thinking about two of you (bleep) to go home. You, pathetic! I don't want anymore. I don't want to wait for your (bleep) anymore. I don't want your (bleep) anymore. I don't want you drying your face and then (bleep) cooking with a cloth, YOU SCUMMY (bleep)! GET OUT!!!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Something's really bugging me, you know that? And I can't stop thinking about it and here's why. If a customer goes out for dinner and their steak is overcooked or undercooked, it gets redone. And they move on and enjoy the evening. But if a customer goes out for dinner and they get served a butt of lettuce, that's how reputations get destroyed in minutes butthead! [to J]

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Narrator: As the Blue Team heads to the spa for a day of pampering...
J: Off to the spa we go...
Narrator: ...Back in the dining room, Max's mom lets J.P. know that he'll be working with someone to plan the party.
Brenda: This gentleman is very recommended.
Jean-Philippe: Yes.
Brenda: So, um...
Francisco: Bonjour, darling!
Brenda: Oh, here he is now.
Narrator: ...Someone he knows all too well.
Francisco: Oh, it's so good to see you! (hugs J.P.) I'm so happy to be here. Are you thrilled to see me?
Brenda: Alright, well, see you tomorrow.
Francisco: Thank you.
Jean-Philippe: [to Francisco] Listen, you. You are not interfering with my job.
Francisco: I respect your boundaries.
Jean-Philippe: Alright, I'll do my thing, and then you do your little thing.
Francisco: "My little thing." Oh, it will be so happy.
Jean-Philippe: Good.
Francisco: Oh, here they (the Red Team) come.
Jean-Philippe: Ladies, ladies, ladies, we've done a few parties in the past with Francisco.
Francisco: I'm so excited to be here, this is so fabulous! (the ladies laugh) Wait until you see what we're doing. We are gonna go up, up, and away with beautiful balloons, all around. It's gonna be so festive!
Coi: (interview) Oh, Francisco's just fabulous, all the way around.
Francisco: We have twinkly centerpieces on all of the tables...
Andrea: (laughing) Twinkly!
Coi: (interview) It's the way he talks, it's the way he dresses, everything. He's fabulous.
Francisco: We are gonna make this the most beautiful sports arena!
LA: (interview) I'm gay, that dude is parade gay.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Robert: (to Lacey) I swear to God if you win this I will hang up my coat and become a crack whore!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Carol! Taste that rice, it's like mush! Show me the rice.
Carol: Right here, Chef.
Gordon: Oh my god! It's overcooked! It's like mush! Who cooked this rice?
[flashback to when J cooked the rice for both teams, pouring two boxes into one pan.]
Andrea: The blue team.
Gordon: The blue team? What? [goes over to the blue kitchen] Come here you, all of you! Who cooked this rice?
J: I did, chef.
Gordon: Look at it, J! How can you do that, J? [hurls the rice in the trash] J! For both teams?
J: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Ohh, (bleep) hell! Oh, come on! You can't do this!
Lacey: (interview) The risotto was mushy, clumpy and nasty, and it definitely wasn't a good way to start the evening.
Gordon: It's mush! Did you cook it all in the same pan?
J: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh, (bleep) me! Come on, (bleep) off J!
J: I'll get a pot on, chef. (interview) That pissed off Chef Ramsay, and I really didn't need that, 'cause he's been riding me hard the past couple of days.
Gordon: Jean-Phillipe, stop the risotto, yeah? J! I can't believe you just screwed the service. In both kitchens!
Robert: (interview) J, you're my friend and I like you a lot, but today you (bleep) suck, man.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: I've got sauce on one, and two Dory here. Sauce on one and two Dory here, LA!
[LA is standing still and staring into space]
Paula: (interview) It's almost like LA was half-asleep or something.
Gordon: Come on, LA!
Gloria: Come on! LA, wake up! Are you sleeping or something?!
LA: No, I'm...
Gordon: She's dreaming. Come on! More sauce, you silly cow!
LA: (interview) He called me a cow. For the first time.
Gordon: Don't cook all the (bleep) Dory in one pan unless you're boiling them, yes?
LA: Yes, chef. (interview) In the real world, you wouldn't have someone yelling at you like that. You wouldn't have someone calling you a cow, a bitch. You wouldn't. 'Cos if someone in the real world called you a cow or a bitch, you would walk up to them and sock them in the head.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: J! Where's the other scallop?
J: Right here, chef.
[J brings the scallops to the pass; they're badly overcooked]
Gordon: Have you seen this (bleep)?
Scott: Disastrous, isn't it?
Gordon: I have had enough. Come here, you! Leave it, put that down! You, come here! [the team members gather around the pass] What is that? What IS that? That's us at our best? What is it? Wait, it gets better! Look, touch that!
Ben: It's rubber, chef.
Gordon: Oh, my GOD! Unbelievable! [J goes to touch one of the scallops, and Ramsay knocks his hand away] No! No, no, no, NO! Get out! OUT, OUT, OUT! Take your jacket off, and (bleep) off! Get out! GET OUT!
J: (to himself, after he is kicked out) I guess that's it for me, bro. (interview) I guess I don't belong here, so... I'll be going home. I'm here for a reason, and it's my boy and my wife, so of course I'm disappointed. It was a tough day. My dream when I came to Hell's Kitchen was to win. So, uh, now it's time to move on and get my own restaurants going. You know, I don't need Chef Ramsay's opinion, so, uh, I've got it. It's time for J Maxwell to do his own thing.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Robert: C'mon, guys! Let's (bleep) do it!
Ben: Yeah, move!
[Robert bends over and a ripping sound is heard. As Ben and Lacey look on in shock, we see that Robert has split open the seat of his trousers. He carries on, unconcerned]
Robert: (interview) All I heard was "RRRRRIIIP!"
Scott: Robert's ass is hanging out all over the place.
Robert: (interview) "Ooh, I feel a little breeze on the back of my ass!" I'll cook in my boxer shorts, I don't give a (bleep).
Gordon: Damn!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
[Lacey has just served some badly carved lamb]
Gordon: Oh my god!
Lacey: (bleep) me.
Gordon: Come here, all of you! What is that? The (bleep) bone's thicker than the meat! What is that?
Lacey: I don't know!
Gordon: It's not good enough! GET OUT! You're not good enough! Piss off!
[Lacey walks into the storage cupboard; Chef Ramsay follows her]
Gordon: Madam, look at me. Let's be honest, you're done. You can't waste my time any longer!
Lacey: I agree.
Gordon: Take your jacket off, and leave Hell's Kitchen. And go in there, and say goodbye. Properly, say it properly! Let's go.
Lacey: [to the blue team] Thank you for everything!
[Danny quickly waves to Lacey and then resumes cooking; Ben and Robert ignore her altogether]
Robert: (interview) There's a small violin, just for Lacey. [blows a raspberry] She sucks. Adios, biatoch.
Gordon: Piss off! Let's go! Step up a gear.
Lacey: (interview) On one hand, it's a relief. I can get back to my normal life. (Packing her suitcase) At least now, I know I can get some sleep at night. (interview) But you know, another part of me wishes to stay and learn more and have that chance to win but unfortunately I (bleep) up tonight and I can only look back on the positive things which there weren't many for me. You know, my mom told me when I came here, "Don't make enemies." and that's the first thing I did and kept doing the whole time I was here. Sorry mom, I should've listened.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: (with a chewed up piece of chicken) What is that?
Scott: Giovanni's best.
Gordon: Hey Ben, is that a chewed up little chicken from the dog ear? That's your special. Have a word with him. He's given up. Take all the garnish back, do whatever you want with it. Your special has now become not very special, thanks to (bleep)face there. Hurry up Giovanni!
Giovanni: Yeah, but I'm not a (bleep)face chef!
Gordon: Yeah. Say that again?
Giovanni: I'm not a (bleep)face chef!
Gordon: You're pissed aren't you? (Bleep)! Look at me! Look at my EYES! YOU'RE NOT AS PISSED AS I AM!! YOU (bleep) ARE!! DONKEY!!
Giovanni: No.
Ben: (interview) Whooo! Boy oh boy!
Gordon: Cause right now, I don't give a (bleep)! (Bleep)face!
Giovanni: (interview) I'm an emotional person. He can get in my face all he wants to. He will not break me.
Gordon: You're sending me (bleep) and trying to get away with it. Now I'm ready for an argument! Sending me that, you should be ashamed!
Robert: (interview) He just wants you to pop off.
Gordon: And you want to get all sensitive! You want to get all (bleep) dirty! Look at me, you send me (bleep) like that, take your jacket and (bleep) off!
Giovanni: Yes chef.
Gordon: I'm not sending that (bleep) chef!
Giovanni: Yes chef. Sorry chef. (interview) I wasn't angry at him, I was angry at myself. It was just, I was boiling inside and he said something to me.
Gordon: That's the well done one and look at me, I think you're too (bleep) to get upset with me. It's not the (bleep) way I call it. This isn't personal, this is professional! That personal was a piece of (bleep) now pull it back!!
Giovanni: Yes chef.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: I just spent the last hour upstairs in my office thinking. It just doesn't make sense! How can the final six be so (bleep)? I called you all down here because on the back of that performance, I'm now going to do something I have never ever done before. I'm shutting down Hell's Kitchen.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: What is that?
Louie: Sausage gravy over biscuits.
Gordon: Sausage gravy?
Louie: Yes.
Gordon: Over biscuits?
Louie: Yes. I sell about five gallons of it a week.
Gordon: Gallons? What, you sell this to pigs?
Louie: No, actually, I own a diner.
Gordon: Uh-huh, okay. And how much do you charge for that?
Louie: $4.75.
Gordon: $4.75?
Louie: Yeah. With coffee.
[Ramsay tastes some of the dish, and quickly spits it out in disgust]
Gordon: (bleep) me.
Louie: What's wrong with it?
Gordon: What's wrong with it? It tastes like gunk.
Louie: (interview) Hundreds of people eat that in my diner each week. I don't think it was worth spitting out!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Hey, what's that piece of (bleep) there?
Suzanne: It's supposed to be the salmon.
Gordon: Holy (bleep)! Look at that. It's like a... bison's penis! What is that (bleep)? [opens up the salmon wrap, revealing the interior to be totally frozen] Look at that! Stone-cold, frozen salmon. Who put the salmon in the freezer?!
Amanda: Me. I (bleep)ed it up.
Gordon: Yeah, you (bleep)ed up, big time!
Tek: All the salmon's the same, I think we should try and fix it.
Gordon: Yeah, 'cos she's wrapped it frozen.
Heather: And we have five on order.
Gordon: We've got five on order?
Heather: Five on order.
Gordon: (to Amanda) Hey, ditzy! Great job!
Amanda: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh, (bleep) off.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: (on discovering that Louie has wasted a huge amount of lamb) Look... at... this! Look! LOOK! LOOK! What the (bleep) is this?! LOUIE!
Louie: Yes, sir?
Gordon: (bleep) off back there! GET OUT! Yes, get (bleep)! Pile of (bleep)! Hey, get upstairs, get your bags packed...
Louie: Can I help? Can I help in the kitchen?
Gordon: Yeah, you can help me! (bleep) OFF! GET OUT!
Louie: (interview) You want me out? I'm out. You want me to pack my bags? My bags are packed. YOU CAN KISS MY (bleep) ASS!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Melinda was completely lost in space. So I sent her back to whatever planet she came from.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Joseph, let's be honest, that's a pretty sorry battalion you got there. Isn't it?
Joseph: Right now it is.
Gordon: Who's the first nominee for the men?
Joseph: They can speak for themselves but they know who they are.
Gordon: Hey, smart arse, I asked you to tell me. Who's the first nominee and why?
Joseph: No problem. Tony and Andy.
Gordon: Listen, I know you may be slightly stupid. First nominee and why?
Joseph: First nominee and why? Tony. He knows why. We sat down as a group and they wouldn't pick each other. You know. No peer pressure! We're men!
Gordon: Just, just just, what do you want a (bleep) medal?
Joseph: What do you want me to (bleep) say? What do you want me to say? They know who they (bleep) are. We chose as a group and they stand out and they said they belong there. Stand up, they know who they are.
Gordon: (approaches Joseph) Listen you chippy idiot, I asked for one nominee and why in plain English. And you're mouthing off and you couldn't answer me. Now can you just tell me in (bleep) plain English, the first nominee and why he's nominated. Is that (bleep) clear?!
Joseph: That's clear.
Gordon: Thank you! (walks back) Unbelievable! One simple request, who and why, and you make a big (bleep) song and dance about it!
Joseph: I ain't no (bleep) bitch chef! I don't give a (bleep). I ain't no bitch!
Gordon: What?!
Joseph: I'm not no bitch!
Robert: He's trying to bring the best out of you. You got to look past it.
Joseph: He's not bringing the best out of me.
Ariel: Yeah, show some respect.
Joseph: Shut your (bleep) mouth is what you should do right now.
Suzanne: Come on, man!
Joseph: I'm talking here. I don't give a (bleep) about

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Joseph: Want to talk about (bleep) fighting?
Gordon: Oh wow.
Joseph: Want to get (bleep) rough?
Gordon: You think I'm scared? Huh? Look at you.
Joseph: Yeah, keep talking for the (bleep) cameras.
Gordon: You've just blown your-- Yeah, (bleep) the cameras.
Joseph: Yeah?
Gordon: Yeah.
Joseph: Let's go step outside!
Gordon: Out in front here? I asked you one simple question and you couldn't (bleep) answer me. And then you want to get all tough and up close and personal.
Joseph: (Bleep) you!
Gordon: There you go.
Joseph: (Bleep) you! You ain't nothin' but a bitch!
Gordon: You've got no respect.
Joseph: No respect.
Gordon: Now get out.
Joseph: (Bleep) you. You (bleep) bitch! (Double flips off the chefs.) (Bleep) all of you! (the guards lead him out, he trips over the step.)
Gordon: Watch the step.
Joseph: Yeah, watch the step bitch.
Gordon: What an idiot. Total, total shame. (kicks Joseph's jacket up to the table.)
Joseph: (outside the restaurant.) I don't need this (bleep). I don't need some limey (bleep, bleep) talking to me like that. Without skipping a beat, I'll go back home, I'll work. Anybody who (bleep) hires me to work in their kitchen, they'll be proud to have me there! (Bleep) him! (Bleep) him!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: (After sparing Lovely and Tennelle from elimination.) And I've got one more thing to say and it's bad to you all: I'm nobody's bitch. (everyone laughs) Now get some sleep.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Amanda.
Amanda: Yes, Chef!
Gordon: What's 12 times 3?
Amanda: 9 (that was the correct answer when she incorrectly made 8 lamb ribs (3 portions of 3, but she incorrectly said the answer to that question four times.)

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Oh my God!
Amanda: 36, I'm sorry, Chef.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: If people were named for their cooking, her name wouldn't be Lovely. It would be Useless.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
[After an hour and a half of trying, the red team has not managed to serve a single entrée]
Gordon: I don't know where to go! I can't even turn and look at the dining room, I'm so embarrassed. This is still your first table... (points to the blue kitchen) that's their last! (bleep) off! WE HAVEN'T SENT AN ENTRÉE OUT! STUPID COWS!
[Ramsay crosses over to the blue kitchen, where the men are starting to clear down]
Gordon: Ohhh, (bleep) hell... hey, have you all finished?
Andy: Desserts, chef.
Gordon: Desserts? Kevin, stay on desserts. All of you, come in here! Hey guys, get on a section will you, please, yes?
[The blue team members go over to the red kitchen and start working]
Tennille: (interview) AWWW! Add insult to injury, rub salt in the wound, what... just... happened?
Gordon: Away now! Two penne, three New York Strip, two chicken, one catfish.
Blue Team: Yes, chef!
Robert: (interview) AAAAAAAAGH! YEEAAAAH BOOOOOYS! (cups his ear) That's right. I can hear it. It's them bitches cryin'!
Tennille: Do you need anything?
Jim: No, I'm cool. (interview) It was just scraps of meat, everywhere. It was a kitchen-pocalypse. Like a hand grenade went off in a cow's ass.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: (After eliminating Jim from Hell's Kitchen.) Big man, let me tell you something. I can teach a chef how to cook but I can't give you a heart. You're not the Tin Man and I'm not the (bleep) Wizard of Oz.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Scott, clear out, come here. (Bleep) off. (Bleep) me.
(Gordon and Scott walk out of the kitchen and out of the restaurant.)
Van: Is that it? Or what?
Gordon: (Bleep) that. Absolutely (bleep) that.
Scott: Not worth it.
Gordon: (Bleep) them.
Dave: What the hell is going on here?
Gordon: Can’t take it any more. I cannot take it any more. Un(bleeping) real. Oh (bleep) me. That’s a first.
JP: They’re gone. So, are they coming back?
Gordon: I can't take it any more. Oh, dear.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Van may have been a poissonier, but his performance on fish was anything but Vantastic.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Suzanne had a red jacket, she had a blue jacket, she had a black jacket. Now she has no jacket.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: (Calling out to blue haired Jay) Hey, where's (bleep) Smurf? SMURF!!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen